Teaching Sacrifice

Sacrifice. It seems almost impossible to teach such a thing. I honestly never really thought too much about teaching it to my children. I guess I could've encouraged them to want to learn about it. I could've tried demanding it, but then again, you can't demand sacrifice. A person that truly understands the heart behind sacrifice...can't be forced. They must simply be given the option...and then willingly choose...what Christ would. As we near Easter, God gave me a front row seat to a lesson in sacrifice, by my 8-year old daughter.

What I witnessed this past weekend was extremely hard for me to watch, and at the same time absolutely beautiful. Many tears were shed. Some of them were in view of those around. More important to me, were those done in secret. They were not tears of shame. They were tears of awe. Tears of pride. Tears of thankfulness. Oh how I love the days God allows me to see His hand. Even more I adore the days that He chooses to let me see evidence of His Son in my child's heart.


It was the day before we were leaving and we were all so excited about our trip this past weekend. It was our last 3 hour trek to watch my son in his final swims of his amazing season. He had qualified for the 2015 Pennsylvania State Championship Swim Meet and I was not willing to miss it. (Even though I was fairly convinced that I was getting the flu.)

The seemingly ever-struggling procrastinator in me had once again...won. I still had literally every thing left to do before we could leave. Even though the plan was to leave promptly at 8:00 am the next morning...I could not stand for one more minute. I had cooked dinner for my family, on the verge of getting sick all over it. (Sorry for that mental image.) I had loaded the washer and dryer one last time. I just could. not. stand. Packing was not going to happen that night (as had been previously planned).

The next morning I woke up...no improvement. I pressed on. Showered. Completed barn chores.  Packed clothes, shoes, swim suits, snacks and toiletries for 6. Fed the littles. Loaded in the mini-van...and off we went. Shortly into our twisty turny trip I was struggling. I could not take my eyes off the road for fear of getting sick. I could not even speak. In my silence I kept thinking of all the things I had eaten the day before. (It was not helping.) We finally reached our destination 4. hours. later. and I just wanted needed a bed. And it was there that I stayed for the entire afternoon. And evening. And most of the next day.

Two full beds, one roll-a-way bed, six people...one which now had confirmed having the stomach flu. Before our first night was spent in that hotel...there was a conversation that needed to be had.

What were our sleeping arrangements going to be?

1. My husband had other kids to think of besides just our own. You see, he was one of only two coaches that was allowed on deck for the State meet Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday morning. There were other kids counting on him to be there. He was their last minute support when their parents were not permitted to offer it. He was their reminder to relax and breathe. He was their voice of encouragement. He needed to stay healthy.





2. My oldest son was the reason we were all there. He was the nine year old that earned his way to this State meet. He needed to stay healthy.

3 & 4. My middle son and my youngest son are almost identical when dealing with flu-like symptoms. Sit/stand/lay where you are...and let the vomit fall where they needed to stay healthy.
it may. Seeing as how we were not in our own home, I had a limited number of wardrobe options and absolutely nothing with me to clean such a mess,

5. That left one. My sweet Ariel. I sat her down on the bed next to me. I explained everything that I just wrote above. She understood that sharing a bed with me for the next two nights, significantly increased her chances of getting what I had. She agreed that it was the best decision.

Sacrifice. Whether she or I realized it at that point or not, that is exactly what she did. She was given the option...and she chose what was best for everyone but herself. I was so proud of her. I was shocked by how easy the decision was for her. She did not need me to plead my case to try to convince her. She knew what she needed to do, and she did it with a smile. Jesus was there, and I know He was pleased with her.

Fast forward to Saturday evening. My time of misery was passing...and Ariel's was just beginning. Even through her fever and chills, she slept fairly well. It was now early Sunday morning. It was Aiden's turn to take the pool and our hotel stay was quickly coming to an end. No matter how sick any of us felt...we had no choice but to leave.

We arrived at the natatorium just before 6:30 am. My goal was to find a seat at the top of the lowest section, to assure that it would be easy to rush to the restroom if needed. We were too late. It was not even 7:00 am...and there were soooo many people already planted in their seats for the day. We ended up half way up in the highest section. This is where the lesson was hard to watch.

My baby girl spent her entire morning laying on a cement seat, with a fever. She would sleep. She would wake. She would run down three flights of stairs. She would wait in line...to throw up...in a public restroom. Wash hands. Rehydrate. Repeat.

Not once did she complain. Not once did she seek attention for how awful she felt. Not once did she wish it had been someone else.

All day long I fought back tears that would likely not have been understood by those looking on. A large part of my tears were definitely driven from how awful I felt that I was the clear cause of her misery. But most of all, they were in reaction to what her sacrifice cost her.

When I saw her....I saw Jesus. I know without a doubt that He lives within her, made possible only by His selfless act of sacrifice on the cross. She proudly asked Jesus into her heart to be her Savior at a young age. She knelt on the floor of our dining room, and by the invitation and prayers of her older brother, she made the most important decision she will ever make.



I could have demanded the same scenario. I could have simply told Ariel that it was her comfort and health that I was going to choose to sacrifice. But if I had...I would have missed the blessing. I would have missed the heart of Jesus so evidently portrayed through her act of selflessness. And I would have missed the promise that Romans 8:28 always leaves me wanting.

When I look at my daughter, I can clearly see that God is already instilling in her, the instincts she will need to be a godly wife, mother, friend, servant. Sacrifice is a big part of all relationships. She will sacrifice many times in her life. And even when her sacrifice leads to discomfort and pain...her reward is not here. I would hate for her to settle for earthly compensation. Heaven awaits this little daughter of the King. And her reward...will always, ALWAYS be worth the selfless sacrifice.

Color Wars (Day THIRTY-30 Day Challenge)

Yesterday morning we had something called Celebration Sunday! We were recognizing all of our church family who have been saved and baptized in our constantly growing little community church. As I was looking on, I could see that almost all of the people who had been baptized were wearing the same bright blue shirt. Each of them carried the same message on the front; 'I Took the Plunge'. As I was taking pictures of the group standing in front of the congregation, God gave me a cool illustration. In the fictional story below, all of those in the blue shirts are going to represent the saved. We are also going to pretend that those that did not have the blue shirts on...represent the unsaved. I'm choosing to write it from the perspective do someone who is lost(unsaved).

The alarm goes off and I wake up. Another monotonous day, sigh, more problems to face. I dress myself all in black because I have little happiness these days. I have nothing to look forward to and everything to fear. I wonder, 'Is this really how everyone feels? Am I missing something?'

I arrive to work and begin the process of waiting for the time that I can leave. I hate being here and I want it to show. I set my stuff down at my station and look up. Here comes the new guy. And WHY is he smiling? What could he possibly have to be happy about this early on a Monday morning. The guy is dressed down like the rest of us but his shirt...it's so bright. Everyone else at work is dressed all in dark, drab colors. It is almost as if our clothes represent our mood. Cold and dark. I find myself annoyed as he walks toward me. I can't handle being/seeing 'chipper' and 'fake' this early on a Monday. I look down as he walks by...hoping he will get the hint.

His feet stop right in front of mine. I can now see his hand stretched out in front of me. I, unwillingly, look up with a face void of expression and shake his hand. For just a moment I feel a warmth radiate through my body. This man's face is kind and gentle. His voice is calming and somehow reassuring. I quickly pull my hand away and cold resumes. I have no idea what he said...I was too distracted. I just knew that it.was.weird.

At lunch I kept my eye on him. In fact, for the next few weeks I did nothing but study him while we worked. I was waiting for the day that he came to work, dark, broken and bitter like the rest of us. It had to come, right? Isn't that what is inevitable in this world? Wait, what is that I just saw? One of my co-workers. The man that works right beside the new guy...now he has the same shirt. His face and his countenance seem different. He seems so...happy. What happened?! We all work the same job, what do they have to be happy about? Instead of asking...I just continue watching. From a distance, hopefully unnoticed, but I am sure watching!

A month or so goes by and I still can't get that first handshake out of my mind. As I mindlessly work I feel a tap on my shoulder. It is my boss telling me that I have a phone call. Instant panic its me like a bus. My gut tells me I don't want to hear what I am about to. My body is numb and drenched with fear as I walk toward the hall phone. It is a familiar voice, but one I had chosen not to hear for a while. I only heard the first few words that came from my mother's mouth. 'Your father is very sick. If you want to see him...today is the day.' I remember the last fight I had with him. And I remember the awful things that I said as I stormed out. I couldn't face him again...

I remember little of how I got to where I now found myself next. I do not remember hanging up the phone or walking. But here I was with tear-filled eyes as I reached out to tap the shoulder of the new guy. I didn't know him in the slightest. I had only ever watched him from a distance. But something from within me was drawing me to him. Something told me that he could help. As he looked into my eyes, his eyes immediately filled with tears and his face showed his evident compassion. Right there, surrounded by a crowd of dark, I poured my heart out to this stranger. 

Several times as I was talking I wondered 'Why am I still talking?!'...but, looking looking at the floor, still I continued. As I finished, he began. He was talking, but his eyes were closed. His hand was on my shoulder and I felt that same warmth I had felt before. He wasn't talking to me at all. He was talking to God about me. I remembered praying with my parents when I was little, so I closed my eyes. My heart felt like it hung on his every word. I clung to them as if my life depended on it. He was praying for my last conversation with my dad. He was praying things that I didn't feel...but that I desperately wanted to. Love. Forgiveness. Joy. Restoration. Peace. A new life.

Just before we parted ways he extended an invitation. Church. Ugh...he was inviting me to church. For some reason, that felt out of my rational control, I agreed. I walked away confused, but a little bit lighter. I didn't feel so lost and dark...and I figured anything was worth a try at this point. In the days leading up to the next Sunday I started to look around as I walked. There it was again and again. That same blue, followed by the same kind smile. It was as if people were being changed. It wasn't just about the color. That was what first caught my eye...but it was far more than that. Something within these people was different than what I had.

Here it was. Sunday. Anxiety almost got the best of me. I thought about going back home, but I was already in the parking lot. I hesitated just a few minutes. I decided to go in late so that I could avoid feeling awkward. They were having some sort of celebration that day. I heard name after name of people coming forward. There was that blue. There was that countenance that I kept seeing. They were all gathered together, proclaiming that they would never be the same. They were making a public statement in hopes that people would keep them accountable? After all of the clapping stopped the people returned to their seats. 

I looked out into the sea of people in that congregation and they were dispersed everywhere. Little pops of color. The people wearing blue stood out over all the rest. You couldn't help but notice them. They were bright and cheery. They looked as though they had something to celebrate. They all had something in common...but what? Do I dare ask them why they are so happy? Do I dare strike up a conversation with one of those 'peculiar' type? Why did they scatter among those who were dark? Why not stay huddled as a happy group? What good are the dark going to bring them?! Wouldn't they be safer to just stay away from those who are not like they are? I have to ask. I have to know...

If we could see each other from the heavenly realm, rather than from our earthly view; I wonder if we each radiate a color? I wonder also if the color could change depending on...our mood. Our faith. Our strength. Our mouth. Our thoughts. Our actions. Our circumstance.

If the darkest colors of the rainbow represented our lives without Christ...and red was an indicator that we were clearly on fire for Him...where would you rate yourself? Not just right this second...but when you first wake up. When you rush around to get out of the house on time. When you see someone you are uncomfortable with. When you are on a mission in Wal-mart and a stranger interrupts and asks you for a favor. When your husband leaves his clothes on the bathroom floor. Lol! (Where did that one come from?!) When someone attacks your character. When someone gossips. When someone hurts your child. When someone proves themselves to be two-faced.

I think this survey is worthy of asking yourself...but I would also encourage you to ask a few people that you confide in. Rate each other. Do not be malicious...but do be honest. If the vibe you are sending is cold and demeaning...wouldn't you want to know? Those feelings that people get when they first see you can help or hurt your witness. Who wants to have Jesus so they can STILL be miserable and void of joy? I can assure you...no one!

If you are on fire though...why and how? What did you have to go through to get to be that red hot mama? ;-)  Why is it so important that you commit to staying that way? Because people are watching! Some with a microscope. Some with binoculars. Some want to be sure they go over you with a metal detector, a fine tooth comb and a little 'religious condemnation' if needed. Others will not get that close to what they don't understand. They will only watch from a distance. Far enough to go unnoticed...but close enough to see. Either way though...when they come to a place where they are out of options; they will know to whom they can turn. They will have seen you be tested and come out stronger. They will see that your color of faith did not fade. It did not waver under pressure. It did change shades, but not how the enemy expected it to. It became even more vibrant and beautiful!

And when those who have been watching you come...you will welcome them with a heart of compassion. You will pray and rejoice with them, because that is the heart that strives to be like Jesus. Your color does not go unnoticed. Your passion is seen and heard. And when people come to their appointed time of a new beginning...they will reach out to someone who has been standing solid and firm within their view. They will spill their life into your path in hopes that they will be like those who are forever changed.

My crowd at work is FULL of color now. I could.not.would.not.shut.up about how that day at church changed me. To be among people of influence with The Answer to joy and life everlasting was what first inspired me. I now boldly proclaim why I have joy. I live what I know to the best of my ability because I see those without hope. I see them watching. And I can't wait for the day that I see them walking lighter and looking more like Jesus. I am redeemed. I am free. I am a blue-shirt wearin' fool...because I now understand the cost. The cross gives me hope and every reason to live like I have something to celebrate.

What about you? In these last 30 days...how has God revealed your true color to you? If you aren't where you thought you were...or are not where you want to be...what will you do? Today I would love for you to pray about finding a partner to war with you. Find a confidant to help you discern. Find a fellow Christian who will commit to pray for you to have contagious joy. Bold faith. Extravagant generosity. Complete humility. And passionate convictions.

And I, my friends, I pray for new ministry opportunities for you all. I want this world, your household, your workplace, your communities to be set ablaze. I want the many traits of Christ to be evident and free flowing! I'm praying for you because my ministry has me right smack in the middle of it all. I see lost. I see broken. I see deceived. But I believe for faith, restoration and healing to come soon. I proclaim it!

I LOVE YOU ALL! Thank you for your support during this challenge. I definitely picked the right word. Thirty day CHALLENGE! Wowza! Oh, there were trials. There were bumps. There were bruises. The enemy tried hard to quiet my voice...but I will not be silenced. Will you?!

Contagious Generosity (Day FIVE-30 Day Challenge)

Good morning all!

It is Thursday…which you know means it is almost Friday. More importantly…we are one day closer to SUNDAY! Do you love Sundays?!?! I just love them. I get to spend Sundays with some pretty amazing people. I am so excited and blessed that God has brought me to my church. I thank Him often, as I am blown away by their generosity. And I don’t just mean financial generosity or tangible gifts. There are people within the walls of my church that are teaching me, by example, to be generous with my time. They make themselves available whenever ministry happens. These people I am blessed to know are generous with their encouragement. They are generous with their affection. They are generous with their covering of prayer. They are generous with their blessings. Generosity comes in so many different avenues!

The main road from which ALL avenues of generosity should stem…is the heart. Willingly AND happily giving because God has asked, is not a pre-requisite. IT SHOULD BE…but you are surely ABLE to give with the wrong heart condition. You can give a compliment and expect a return. You can hold out the blessing God has asked for you to give, with a hand clenched, and a icy glare. Almost challenging the recipient to dare take that which God has instructed you to give to bless them. We can always mess up God’s blessing. Think about this though…

Let’s pretend that you are asked to bless someone with a financial/tangible gift. You do it…but your heart is NOT into it. You give begrudgingly. You talk behind the recipients back about how they should’ve been smarter with their finances. You hold your hands out. One with the blessing. One with your own expectation. A return. You are waiting for the groveling at your feet. For the million pleading thank you’s. And if your unspoken expectations are not met…you deem them ungrateful.

What, besides the obvious heart issue, is wrong with that mentality? Why is it even something we should try to remedy? YOU. ARE. THE. ONE. THAT. IS. CHOOSING. TO. NOT. BE. BLESSED! When you, with the right heart, bless someone with words of affirmation, gifts, meals, time, prayers, etc…you ARE blessed in return. When you aren’t expecting it because you are ‘entitled’…I promise it will absolutely floor you. It is all about your heart condition. We give generously because God does not hold back. His scale is already tipped one way on what He deserves compared to what we do. His resources are nothing like ours. We give as He leads…because we trust HIM! If we don’t give when
He asks…I would say not only is it a heart issue that MUST be addressed…it is also a trust issue.
Can God replace what He has already given you if He asks you to give it up? YES! That might be the whole point of the blessing. A teachable moment! He can use anything to stretch us in our faith/trust.
Are we willing to change? I pray so!

Let’s look up some verses to help prove God’s point for today. I don’t want you to take MY word for it. Dive into HIS! Don’t set out to prove me wrong…set out to prove Scripture to be right and relevant in your heart of generosity.

“One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly(which means excessively), but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” Proverbs 11:24-25  Keep giving when God leads. Keep blessing with right heart motives. God promises you WILL be taken care of. You will be refreshed. You will gain even more. Those are the inspired Words of God…not of Vanesa! Unfortunately I don’t have the resources to give all that this world needs…but, thankfully, I have access to someone who absolutely DOES! And maybe, just maybe, the gift you give is not at all about the gift. Maybe, instead, it is about showing the heart of Christ to someone who is silently struggling. Maybe this small act of obedience on your part is meant to be a turning point for the person receiving it. Maybe they are just waiting for someone to truly and openly live the heart of Christ before they themselves become sold out for Him.

You see little. God sees ALL. Who’s perspective do you trust?! Let’s set up a picture in your mind.

You know how I LOVE to do that. I want this to stick! I don’t want it to be easily forgotten!! Put yourself at the top of the Grand Canyon. Place a camera in your hand. Put your eye up close to the teensy-weensy view window. Put your head down and focus on one of your own feet through the eye of the camera. You can see only where you are standing at that moment. You can’t see the next step. You don’t know where you might stumble. You can’t see the beauty that comes after years of shaping. You don’t know where danger is. You don’t know what lies ahead…because you only see your own focused, little path. One shoe. Tattered. Beaten. Tired. How can you take a step of faith to give, what you have been given mind you, when you don’t KNOW what is to come?

Now take the camera down to your side. Look up. Open your eyes to the beauty that lies ahead. Trust that even though you don’t know how to shape this impossible rock…you know One who does. He’s not asking you to figure it out. He’s not even asking you to try. He’s asking you to trust. Give freely…and trust without question. You see little. God sees ALL and it is beautiful!

“Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.” 1 Timothy 6:17-18

We can’t allow the world to out-give us. Some of the most generous people I know are spiritually lost. =( How sad that makes me for them…and also for the example that we, the church, are not living up to. I understand that this not a competition. I’m not trying to make it out to be. How can we expect the world to learn Godly generosity without an example? Notice the title of today’s post. Contagious generosity. I would say the opposite side of this coin is infectious hoarding.

John 3:6 says, “Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.” Radical generosity is contagious! It is exciting! It is humbling. When you listen to the Holy Spirit that lives within you…it gives new birth to that generous mentality in others. OR…you stay in your flesh. You withhold. You talk about how you had to work hard for what you have…and you deserve to be comfortable. And those words, that mentality give birth to others to live in the flesh. To only see in the natural. You choose what type of birthing coach you want to be. Choose carefully. Choose wisely. One will bless you. One will keep you stagnant and in wanting.

Extravagant generosity. What causes a Christian to be just that? Extravagantly generous! Simple. God. They are concerned with pleasing God. They are concerned with giving back to God what He has blessed them with. It is the anonymous man who walked into the Christian Academy that my children attend for grade school. He asked a simple question. “What is the amount needed to pay off your newly finished school building?” He wrote one check. He had extravagant love for children he might never meet. That is the type of generosity that is contagious. He did not require a plaque in his honor. He quietly and confidently offered a check written out with six figures (BEFORE the .00)... to bless a community of the next generation. You do not have to compete. If someone like this man wanted it to be about the amount for competition…I would know his name. Instead, I am clueless. I am thankful. I aspire to be that faith-filled with my abundance!

How can you be contagiously generous today? It doesn’t have to cost you a dime…but it may. =) My family and I were the recipients of MANY MANY blessings last week. I was overwhelmed by the goodness of God! I was humbled at the specific gifts that God gave. I was floored by the them all. Each of them surpassed the need…and even covered what I hadn’t even asked God for. He saw the need…and He raised me a few wants. Lol! So this week…will I choose to let that generosity be contagious? Or will I let it die? Will I let that Spiritual blessing give birth to the out flowing of many more spiritual blessings?

I command contagious generosity in all forms to flow freely in/through me this week! I want people to know that I adore Christ when they meet me! I’m praying for you to have opportunities just as I am me. I want divine appointments to be evident to you. I’d love to hear about them too!!! Please?! Ha-ha! Until then…love to love ya!