Playing to Win (Day TWENTY THREE-30 Day Challenge)

There is one seat left. Slowly you walk towards the table. You are in the mood to play a game and you are hoping to get a clue as to what game is being played and how high the stakes are. The players are silent but eerily intense. They each have a name hanging from a lanyard around their necks, but it is too dark to make them out. You slowly approach hoping to get a better view. Just as you squint your eyes to try to focus...

...the empty chair is pushed your way. Something within you feels uneasy...and yet you are not scared. You sit and glance around the table. The faces of your opponents are covered from the nose down. You still can't make out any of their names as the leader begins to deal the hand. All eyes are on you. Some of them are cold and harsh...some intimidatingly inviting. You begin to realize that maybe this wasn't the friendly game you thought it was. 

You pick up your hand. These cards are far from a normal deck. All of your cards are the same except for one. Your first instinct is to run, but you don't. You desperately want to ask what they are playing, but you don't. You feel almost paralyzed. They seem to be enjoying your apparent discomfort. The first card is played by the man sitting at the head of the table? It contains only one word. 'Gossip.'

The other players laugh. They begin, one by one, laying down a card from their own hand. They are forming a circle around 'gossip'. One card says 'friend'. One said says 'sister'. Another says 'Co-worker'. There was just one more player before it was your turn. He looked straight into your eyes as he pulled his mask down. He smiled and winked as he laid down his card.

There it was in black letters on a white card. The word...'church'. It sent a chill down your spine and a lump to your throat. Your eyes shifted to the now exposed lanyard around the last man's neck. Destroyer. It wasn't a name at all...it was his job title.

Your pulse begins to pick up as you look down at your cards. The man at the head of the table tells you that your card is to be placed directly on top of his. You've got to cover the word gossip with......   Six of your cards have the same word, 'victim'. Only one is different.  You aren't sure when to play it. How will you know what is to come? Should you save it for something that might be worse than gossip?

You close your eyes for a moment and you see your sister. Your friend. Your co-worker. You can actually see specific times when you gossiped about them. And you can now see how they looked when they found out. You feel empty and sick. You know the time is near. The opportunity to gossip about someone in church. Your heart rate picks up even more. The uneasiness is turning to fear.

Shame gets up from his chair and kneels next to you. He is the cause of this guilt trip you are on right now...and he wants to see your anguish up close. Anger is there and he is up next. A tear falls down your check and you whisper a word. A name. Jesus.

You take your only card of hope and place it over 'gossip'. It reads...'victor'. The room gets loud. Shouts are coming from all directions. Joyous praises are heard from angels all around the room. You hadn't seen them before but now you see them as they praise Jesus with excitement because you just CHOSE to defeat gossip. From the table comes many angry sneers that you would dare use that Name in their presence. They know the significance of that victory. It will be just one of many!

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Peace surrounds you. You open your eyes now with confidence. You look at your hand and now all but one of the cards, say victor. You gained strength in your faith in Jesus with that decision. And your hand is now stacked in your favor. Sure you still have free will. You will always still have the choice to fall into temptation...but NOW it is outnumbered by victory!!

"In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:37

It is your choice. It always was. Victory was yours the moment you accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior. You were not meant to live a defeated life. You were not designed to be overcome by evil at every opportunity. God has victory for you...always. It may be a little messy to get to it...but it will be worth it.

The enemy knows that each time you accept defeat that you are more likely to do it again. he ALSO knows that when you choose victory, even if it goes against every natural desire you have; that you are more likely to choose it again! "Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit." John 3:6

The attacks of the enemy will continue. But the strength of his opponent...only grows. The more you allow Christ to break you free from the love of sin...the stronger you become in Him. You will always remember where you were...but you will no longer live in the death and destruction of it.

I know I write this a lot...but I truly mean it. It's not too late. If you have been caught up in sin...it's not too late for faith to gain strength in the Name of Jesus! It's not too late to choose victory, over victim. YOU allow yourself to be the victim of the enemy. YOU sometimes put others in the position of being the victim. It is always your choice. And even if you haven't been making the right ones...it's not too late. Never too late!

Say the name of Jesus right now. Scream it if you must. Know that there is POWER in that Name! Flee from sin. Flee from the places that draw you into sin. Flee from the people that encourage you to sin. Run to find a place where Jesus is welcome, living and active in the hearts of the people there. You choose. It's your life. And it will be only you on the day of judgement. It's not too late. It's never too late for you!

"The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:56-57

The Call of Grace (Day TWENTY TWO-30 Day Challenge)

Have you ever had one of those weeks that you would so NOT want to repeat?! Ugh...this was a week like that. I can't remember the last time I was that exhausted. I can't remember the last time when the battle of darkness vs light was so clearly evident. I can't remember the last time I had to refocus my emotions (sometimes moment after moment) to line up with Christ. I had to give up what I felt for what I knew. And.It.was.hard! I would feel joy...then sadness. Anger...then forgiveness. Turmoil...then peace. It truly was a battle!

So what was God doing while this battle raged? He was speaking to women in my life who had no idea what I was facing. And one by one, in their own battle of obedience, they spoke life and encouragement into me. Tears of joy and thankfulness were what I needed to cover over a heart that was wounded. Healing tears ran down my face because I knew that God was taking care of me. I didn't need to avenge anything. I only needed to be still and know that He is God!

"The righteous cry out, and The Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but The Lord delivers him from them all; He protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken." Psalm 34:17-20

What does grace look like? If God's grace where anything like what you show to people when you 'feel entitled' to your emotions...would anyone want what you have? Are you drawing people towards...or pushing people away from grace? In the words of Beth Moore, "Are you trying to make people earn what you freely received?"

I have great news for you today!! It is not too late to learn how to be a person of grace. And it's not too late to realize that..."God doesn't call you because of your past." -Holly Wagner, 2013 WOF Tour

I had no idea how much I would need that reminder today. I was reviewing my notes from last weekend and that one stuck out like it was blinking in neon lights. "God didn't call you (or I) because of our past. He called us because of His future!" If any of us live in, or throw others into the shadows of past mistakes...we're choosing to live in the dark. When we ask, instead, for forgiveness from our sin, both from God and man, it.is.finished. The burden is lifted and freedom is your future.

How many of you have some things that you've done that you aren't proud of? How many of you let those things keep you from diving (diving as in all in, fully submersed) into ministry? How many of you feel unworthy to pray out loud over someone? Or how many of you are too ashamed to open up and talk about these things that hold you bound at your church's alter? Maybe you fear judgement from people. Maybe it is rejection that keeps you at a distance. 

Whatever it is...please know that God intended for you to move past these things. God will not always remove the consequence...but He will use everything for your good. I know I am not going to convince you with just one verse. I've quoted my life verse before because it states it just sooo perfectly. Romans 8:28. 

Someone who is stuck in the past, though, isn't looking forward. They aren't seeing the blessings that they are passing by until they are now part of the past. More anger and bitterness will soon follow because of the blessings in their rear view mirror that they missed. Someone will take that blame. Someone will receive their outburst of anger. It must be someone's fault!!!! 

I have to say that I am INCREDIBLY thankful that God doesn't choose us or pass us by because of our junk. You can let out a sigh of relief. Go ahead...I just did. =) You must also realize that the same is true for your neighbor. Your co-worker. Your Pastor. Your friends and family. The same sacrifice will set us all free from our past, if we believe and allow it.

God calls us because of His future for us. Ahhhh...that is grace. Grace covers and opens up the floodgates for a world of opportunities. If God left me in the shadow of my mistakes and failures I would have no purpose to write. I would have no reason to sing praises. I would have no voice to encourage. I would be wailing and wallowing in shameful defeat.

But God.

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

God gets through our clouded mind, distorted view and sometimes thick skull. He speaks with a voice that can cut right through all the junk. His voice is clear. Not muffled. Not distant. It is close and familiar. He says simple words that pack a powerful gut punch. "Let go."

You stop for a moment. Unsure if you heard Him correctly. Let go?! Let go? That can't be right. 'Justice has my name on it. I can't let go...because then who will seek it? God, I need to cling to something and this is all I have right now. All my energy is going into...vengeance?'

Finally the mask has been lifted. Your view is no longer clouded. Clarity has been restored. You now see the enemy before you. he is holding out a beautiful gift box that is addressed to the one you accuse, or the one who wrongfully accused you. It has their name on it. But who is this gift of vengeance from? You read carefully and see that your name is first...but what is it that it says underneath? 

destroyer. author of lies. deceiver. darkness. shame. death. Love...satan and the gang.

Your mouth drops open, you step back and gasp. Why does that gift have your name on it!? You would never give a gift like that to anyone would you? Would you? You start to feel sick. How could I? Where can I hide? You turn to run. You turn to flee from this evil and...

God is right there. He was right behind you and He saw what you just saw. What is He holding? A golden box. He hands it to you with a reassuring smile. You trust Him so you open it and see what you hoped you never would. Tears begin to fill your eyes as you realize these nails you see have significance. They are what held Jesus on the cross. They are covered with His blood. You close your eyes in shame. Knowing what your heart could have easily just committed against another.

God lifts your chin. He looks into your tear filled eyes and says..."My child. The price has been paid."

The price for your past. The price for my past...it has been paid. I say we celebrate!!! Turn from any sins of your past and run into the arms of Christ. He was your sacrifice...and He wants to free you from anything that dares hold you bound. 

Jesus' grace is sufficient for me. (2 Corinthians 12:9) Is it for you?

Retreat or Defeat (Day SIXTEEN-30 Day Challenge)

If you are a reader, hearer and follower of the Word of God...I can guarantee that you've read the passage of scripture that I'm starting with today. I do have a specific point though...so stay with me. Don't skip and don't skim over them. (Confession #862,379...I do that which I just asked you not to. Sometimes when I'm reading a devotional, I skip the Bible verses if I deem it too long of a passage for my alotted time. And if its just one single verse...I may skim it...but I don't really 'pay attention'. I was challenged this weekend by the idea that in each decision you make you are either walking towards God or away. Which is it? Am I going to pass over the Word of Life that has carried me through my darkest hours? Or will I willingly read with fresh perspective? Can you see...I'm there with you. I know struggle because, by my choice, some days I struggle. Let's defeat!)

The Armor of God

" Finally, be strong in The Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything,      to stand. 

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish ALL the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God." Ephesians 5:10-17

I almost missed it. Oh how close I came. If I had had Internet in my home this morning...I would.have.missed.it! I literally just got done telling you to NOT skim and skip over those exact verses and I kind of thought about doing it myself. Oh the enemy is sly but he is not smart. You see, if I had had the Internet I would have gone onto the bible gateway app and copied and pasted those verses so I didn't have to type them from my iPad screen. And if I had done that I would have missed it because I wouldn't have read it. I've read it before. I can quote it. But God was asking me to read it again. He had a fresh revelation that needed a heart willing to have fresh perspective. 

See...I have admitted before and I will say it again...I am not above you. I am preparing myself in the trenches of battle...with you. I'm fumbling to remember or take the time to pick up my armor some days. I leave it laying untouched on my nightstand. I promise to do it later...and I run out the door. Un-armed. Exposed. 

Let's try to picture now what the enemy just saw. 

"She's wide open today boys. Our plan to have her fall back asleep after she knew she was supposed to wake up and read her bible...it worked like a charm. The enemy smiles at his accomplishment. She is missing a chunk of her sword today. I bet HE was going to prepare her for this battle coming. Lets not waste our time boys. Our attack must come quick. We want to catch her off guard. We want to start her day day off stumbling...in hopes that she will soon fall. You, satan points to the ugliest and most skilled of his warriors. You have been working like a charm since the garden. Shame...it is you that will start her day. I want shame to be what she feels first, before compassion or love. I want the guilt of her 'choice' to sleep today to be a constant weight that clouds her vision. We need to knock that shield of faith out of her hand while she is unaware. I want these arrows to pierce her deep. his voice begins to quiver. I have seen what she is capable of. We do not want her to pull that Sword on us. We are no match for that. Those Words of Truth cover every lie we have. Pursue her, Shame. Remind her of what she did today. Make sure you take Disappointment with you. I have to go look for Depression. He always follows you. GO! And do not relent!"

That was really hard for me to write. I picture that conversation happening because of a few extra minutes of sleep that I sometimes choose over my morning devotion time. When you allow your heart to see it as a spiritual battle that is unseen by your eyes...but surely felt...it is easier to fight. Put yourself in that scenario above when you go to roll over in bed. Wake up and meet with God because He longs to give you exactly what you need for THAT day. He will help you be an overcomer rather than an open target.

Now let's look at what I could've missed. Something small that I have missed EVERY time I have read this passage before. "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything   ,   to stand." I finally saw the comma before the last two words of that verse. I had never read it with that puncuation. I read it as a continuance to the verses that followed. But when you read it with that intended pause...you see what it really says. After you have put on the full armor of God. After you have done everything, remember 'to stand'.

God needs us standing up and ready. He needs our feet firmly placed and braced for attack so that it doesn't knock us over when it suddenly hits. He needs us to know that when we feel weak; when our faith is lacking...He has already given us the tools to know which piece of armor is missing.

And how about your back? Which one of those pieces of armor covers your back? NONE! (Thank you for that blaring reminder Holly Wagner!) You are not armed for retreat. When you marriage is hard...you were not meant to walk away. When God's people throw out false accusations against you...you are not equipped to run. It is the front of you that is protected by God. It is the front that braces against the winds of the storm. It is the front that walks into the difficult path because they see God in it. You were created to face opposition with confidence in Jesus.

"For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. All men will hate you because of Me. But not a hair of your head will perish. By standing firm you will gain life." Luke 21:15-19

Those words are from the lips of Jesus Himself. The heading in my Bible reads, 'Signs of the End of the Age'. Don't freak out. Stop freaking out. NOthing catches God off guard. Nothing surprises Him. Stand firm and gain life my friend. Even your hair is important enough for God to protect!

The Choice (Day SIX-30 Day Challenge)

I’m diving right in today. No time to waste. I want you to picture yourself as a child again for just a moment.

Picture yourself playing baseball with a group of kids at recess. You are up to bat. The ball comes towards you. You close your eyes and swing the bat with all the might that you have. To your surprise, you hear the crack of a successful hit. You smile as you open your eyes just in time to see the ball sailing towards…a window in your classroom. The ball crashes through the glass! Sudden panic hits you. What is your instinct? Throw the bat and mingle with the other children. Blend in. Whatever you do…do. not. look. guilty.


Funny thing about guilt. It is almost impossible to hide. If you have gotten good at hiding it…you are on dangerous grounds…and I suggest you flee from your ways. Learn to fight with truth. We were born into this sinful nature that instinctively makes us want to hide when we are wrong. We must fight against. This same sinful nature calls us to stretch the truth. We must fight against. It calls us to blame everyone but who is really responsible. We MUST fight against.

We are loosing battles that God wanted to claim victory over because we aren’t fighting. It is easier not to fight at first. I know. I’ve so been there and done that!  It feels good to go with your natural response. But that good feeling fades so quickly. Immediately sometimes. And you are left feeling ashamed at what you have chosen.


You see the teacher walking towards you. Your eyes are shifting back and forth. You are looking for an escape. You are searching for a hole to dive into. You can’t just stand there! Before you know it the teacher is standing right in front of you. She asks what happened, and the crowd is silent. You are staring into the ground, and she sees. She says your name. Panic. What do you do?


Every day of your life is full of choices. Do you wake up early or do you hit snooze? Do you eat five donuts or do you eat fruit and granola? God gave us free will so that we would CHOOSE HIM! Not just on Sunday. Not just when it is convenient. Not just when we are in crisis. ALWAYS! He created us to worship Him…and we have every day, all day to choose whether we will do it or not.


You are still looking at the ground. You are trying to form an answer. You can choose truth or dare you lie. You can choose life or death with that tongue of yours. All of a sudden a genius idea pops into your head. Blame. It’s not your fault. You didn’t ‘throw’ the ball. It was clearly self-defense. The ball was going to hit you…so you swung. Dare you say it? Will it work? If you can just point your finger with enough conviction…maybe you won’t have to hear yourself breathing anymore out of pure anxiety.

Then just for a moment. You catch the eyes of the one you are about to accuse.   You wonder what would he get in your place? Could you really do it? It is scary that it even crossed your mind. You have not yet sinned…and so you choose.

“I did it. It was an accident.”

Your shame immediately turns to a sigh of relief. Fear is still there, but the weight, the heavy burden of choice has been lifted. You have chosen to put your accusing finger back in its holster. The kids are dismissed and you walk inside with the teacher. 

What does she do? She has a choice too. She takes you to the classroom and hands you a dustpan. She starts to clean the glass and asks you to help. She has not chosen to yell. She has not chosen to get angry. She even thanks you for telling the truth. Your choice of truth has set you free. Even though you are guilty, you do not feel guilty. You had a choice and you fought against the lie of the enemy. God was proud of you that day!


“My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness.” Proverbs 8:7     Sin lover…or sin loather…you choose.

I imagine you have stories of when you have chosen truth and stories of when you have chosen lies. Which one left you feeling satisfied? Which one provided a way out but quickly offered only shame and remorse? It’s not too late. You always have truth. You always have choice. You can still choose truth. Your character is forever being fine tuned. God is refining you so that you are more and more like Him. He sees you drowning in your choice…and He offers a way out. He has not turned against you. He is not ignoring you. That conviction you feel. That is because He refuses to accept less than what He has for you. But this 'free will' always leaves you with a choice. Good or evil.

What lies have you been believing? What half-truths have you been telling? Today I challenge you to choose truth. Whether you got away with your wrong choice or not…you do not have to live in guilt and shame. You still have the truth. You know it. God knows it. You might be nervous or dreading an uncomfortable conversation. But be honest with yourself, you live in discomfort knowing anyway.

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21 You can say you love truth. You can even convince me and those around you that you live truth. But God sees the fruit you are eating. He knows which ones nourish and enrich your life…and which decay and sour the effectiveness of your ministry. It is not too late. It is never too late! Restoration is close. Freedom is right on the tip of your tongue. Have the courage to speak to the mountains you’ve built by choice. It is your choice that got you in that valley…and it is only choice that will remove you from it. Your ministry is waiting for you to live and love what you know. “…if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20 Those are the words of Jesus, Himself. They can be trusted! NO thing will be impossible for you. Rise up!

God has great things in store for those who earnestly seek Him. He rejoices when you choose, on purpose, to fight against the scheme of the enemy. He longs to see you defeat. He loves to watch you dodge those fiery darts of the enemy. They fizzle out. They become extinguished because of your choice. Their power to harm you is gone. Who knew that the easiest way to send the enemy retreating in defeat was to choose truth? Righteousness. Trust me…it looks good on everyone! =)

Eeeeekkkkk!

You know by now how I love to give you a clear mental picture of my stories. There is no turning back. The following story may may be one that you think…finally…she is human and made a mistake. (Not likely that that is the one you will choose.) OR you may think…okay, she is a freak. Stick with me to the end, or stop now. Lol!

My husband recently installed a new wood stove. Super excited for that. ‘Free heat’ he calls it. ‘Hard work’ is what I call it. Not complaining…just stating a simple, truthful fact. Anyway, a few weeks ago on a wonderfully gorgeous Sunday afternoon here in PA…we decided to go up to our woods and bring in some wood for the dreadful winter I keep hearing about. We live in the snow belt…why?! I have no words. Lol!

The kids and I were loading the truck with a stack of wood that my husband had made in the woods a few weeks ago. At one point I picked up a small log and uncovered…

 

Look up. It is on the trunk of the tree. What, you can’t see it? Let me get closer for you…

Look just below where my camera focused on the bark of the tree. It is a fuzzy brown blob.

A MOUSE! It was a mouse! I squealed at the thought of it almost touching my shoe. Things that make you go…*imagine me shivering as though completely grossed out here* From that point on, every time I came back to pick up another chunk of firewood…I would check to see if the mouse was still there. What I failed to realize, is that he might have friends.

 

Picture this. Place yourself in my mental story. (Okay…by mental I didn’t mean to imply that I am mental. Aw well…think what you must. ;)

You are carrying wood.

You are a mom so you are used to trying to make the least amount of trips as possible, no matter what the sacrifice. You can only load your arms so far…then you need another pair of hands.

That is where your 7 year old son can help. So he bends over (while you hold the stack of wood in your arms) to get more. And what to your wondering eyes should appear…he uncovers FOUR MORE MICE!

Much screaming…not from him…from you, the mother. They scatter and you don’t know which way to turn as if not to be scared by another. All of a sudden one crawls across your shoe.

More screaming. Then, one brave little mouse attempts to climb your pant leg.

At this point, flailing accompanies screaming. (Keep in mind…the stack of wood you are holding…and that 7 year old that is standing close by.) When the situation settles and that 7 year old is holding his face crying…one can only assume that he got hit in the face with the wood that the mother was once carrying.

Whew…glad that didn’t happen to me. *Nervously laughs as eyes shift to the floor and I stare intently and sheepishly at nothing.*

Soooo, my son was fine. And I recovered too after such a traumatic event. Thank you for your concern. ;)

 

Isn’t it funny that something so small can do so much damage. Just a cute little brown mouse…upset our whole afternoon. The once quiet woods were no longer. The once cheerful, beautiful, sunny, fall afternoon was now tainted with uncertainty. The face of a 7 year old was slightly bruised as a result of uncontrolled, ridiculously unnecessary fear?

Gossip…is a little brown mouse. Seems harmless…but can upset the calmest of Christians. No matter your physical strength, mental overpowers. The enemy whispers and you repeat. Once you’ve done it once, it is easier to do it again, and again. Ugh…the seemingly sweet brown face with it’s beady black eyes…are from the pits of hell.

Gossip! Just a few “innocent” words and yet…they destroy. Tear down. Frustrate. Divide. Mock. Worst of all they infuriate the Father! Oh how I hate to disappoint Him. We’ve all done it. You have that check in your spirit before you speak. You let the hurtful words spew forth anyway. What comes next is the same feeling that comes

Every

Stinkin’

Time!!

Guilt. You know you’ve sinned…and you wish you could take it back. Why does sinful nature have to temporarily feel so good?

That is all that the enemy has. Temporary. Everything he promises WILL fade. It will be short-lived. If you are looking for eternal promises, you must keep your eyes off of things that will rot or fade away. You must consciously choose to focus on things that Reign. Want to know something…it is not difficult. If you think it is…right now…you are falling into the scheme of the enemy.

Our fear of the enemy is ridiculously unnecessary. Really! He has no power over us. He is beneath. He is weak. We serve THE King of Kings. Our God is All-Knowing. All-Powerful. Omni-Present. Alpha. Omega. And He loves to see us finally get something we’ve been struggling with. Let’s set out to defeat gossip one Christian at a time! Go!!!

Proverbs 16:28 “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends".”