Barely Seeing

I am not alone much these days. I took on the HUGE MONUMENTAL TASK of homeschooling my three oldest children this year. I have ONE very independent (self-taught) 4th grader, ONE forever struggling to focus (tender hearted, easily distracted and always rushed) 2nd grader, and ONE intelligent (would rather be Ninja fighting his 4-year old brother) kindergardener that is not at all challenged with the work I find for him and yet surprisingly not confident in his abilities.

What a year it has been so far. Many tears. More laughs. Some Much frustration. And more proud mama moments than I ever saw coming. I LOVE seeing the heart of my children. And I love watching them grow together. I could deal without the fighting some days...but I would hate to miss the love that I get to witness.

My point in telling you that is to say...really...I. Am. NEVER. Alone. Even when I'm showering... questions arise. Questions that clearly can't wait for five minutes. *Moms...can I get an Amen?!* I have to laugh (although sometimes I'll admit that I choose to reply with a snotty and sarcastic tone)  when they come in and ask for help.

"Mom, can you help me get some orange juice?" says child.

"Seriously. SERIOUSLY?! Are. You. Seriously. asking me that right now???!!! Am I the only person that lives here that knows how to pour a drink?! Uh...I'm in the shower. How in the world would you suggest I get you orange juice?!" says frazzled annoyed surprisingly calm Mom. *wink wink*

For those of you that don't know much about me...I live in the snow belt of Pennsylvania. Yes...the snow belt. I willingly live where we get hammered with lake effect snow from Lake Erie. I, on purpose, live where the air gets so cold it not only simultaneously numbs and stings your skin, it freezes your nose hairs and actually hurts to breathe. The only time I am 'alone' as of lately....is when I take the trek, up my hill, in snow literally up to my knees some days...to do chores on our little country farm. No one bothers me there. They stay warm and cozy...and I go out in the bitter cold to throw hay, unfreeze water, fix broken halters, pet our goat, carry firewood etc....

And it is there, when I am finally alone, that God has been speaking to me lately. He's been giving me illustrations to write about. And by the time I make the frigid trip back down, still through snow up to my knees, and to my loud, cozy, question-filled house...they are forgotten. Sigh.... What is wrong with me? How could I be that excited about His inspiration...and then just forget it?! GAH!!

So the other night I had a long phone conversation with my dear, sweet friend, Sheli. I tell her that God has given me several illustrations to write about...and I have forgotten all but one. Her response...why don't you put a notebook and a pencil in your barn coat?

*insert light bulb here*
GENIUS!

So simple...and yet completely effective. And so that night after we hung up...I did just that. And a few moments later as I was cutting open bales of hay...God reminded me. 'Walking in dim light.'


A few weeks ago I was in my hay mow after the sun had set. I prefer NOT to do chores in the dark....but the ever busy, squeeze in one more thing before you go, struggling procrastinator in me sometimes wins out. Haha!

I turned on the lights downstairs...and climbed the wooden staircase to the mow. There is one lonely light way at the top of a high ceiling. It is not enough, considering what a HUGE space it is. And to make it even worse...right now there happens to be a half-full wagon of hay blocking most of the light that is cast down from that one. little. far-a-way. bulb.

Dim. I would definitely say the light is dim. So when I came from a barn floor full of lights and walked into the dimly lit mow...it made it all the harder to see. I was a bit taken back, wishing I had remembered to bring my flashlight, but unwilling to go back for it. I knew there were obstacles between me and the hay...and I was not sure how to keep myself from tripping over all of them. I squinted...it did not help. I waited (for a whole 3 seconds)...it did not improve. So I walked.

Gingerly I stepped. Guessing. Remembering what was there in the light. Small steps. Larger steps over whatever obstacle I thought I could see. And then...something happened. The shadows looked, less dark. My vision became more clear. The dim somehow, seemed brighter.

And that is when God spoke. "My child. You may be able to (barely) see in the dark...but you weren't meant to camp and find comfort there."

We are surrounded by darkness. Not necessarily always within...but forever surrounded. Darkness meant to harm us. And darkness seeking out those within our circle of influence. Some days it feels completely overwhelming. Sin that attacks from all angles, from all people, regardless of relationship. Those so broken, that you exhaust yourself to show them truth and prove it realness, only to find they won't accept it. It's as if they feel like it can't possibly be for them. The sadness that camps all around..some days seems to weigh me down.  But why?

Had I been choosing to struggle through the dark with only a poorly lit path...

Is that truly all that God had in mind for me...

                    Psalm 119:105-112 (NIV)

105 "Your word is a lamp for my feet,
    a light on my path.
106 I have taken an oath and confirmed it,
    that I will follow your righteous laws.
107 I have suffered much;
    preserve my life, Lord, according to your word.
108 Accept, Lord, the willing praise of my mouth,
    and teach me your laws.
109 Though I constantly take my life in my hands,
    I will not forget your law.
110 The wicked have set a snare for me,
    but I have not strayed from your precepts.
111 Your statutes are my heritage forever;
    they are the joy of my heart.
112 My heart is set on keeping your decrees
    to the very end."

...or have I simply not been consciously choosing to find light? It is there. Did you catch it? Black letters on the white pages of my Bible. "YOUR WORD is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path." If you find yourself barely able to see past your own circumstance. Or without answers for what the next step is. Start choosing light. Open up the Living Word of God...and gain strength in your faith.

God may choose to smack you with it when you least expect it...but more often He, the gentleman, will nudge instead. 

You pause in the middle of your morning rush when you see your dust-covered Bible. Nudge.

You hear a message on the radio that inquires about your quiet time. Nudge.

You hear a song that stops you in your tracks because it seems the lyrics were written specifically for you. Nudge.

Don't walk around stumbling and yelling at inanimate objects for 'being in your way'. Shed some light in your dark. Choose. Consciously choose...to search not only for a lamp for your feet(your next step), but also a light for your path(what is to come). 

"My child. You may be able to (barely) see in the dark...but you weren't meant to camp and find comfort there."-God

Aborted Vision (Day TWENTY NINE-30 Day Challenge)

I want you to think right now of a vision that God gave you at some point in your life. I'm talking the type of vision that was maybe a bit intimidating to you. Or maybe it even scared you a little to think of what God would require of you. Or maybe it just seemed too far fetched to ever really happen. When you had one of those types of visions...what did you do with it? Did you pray and wait on God...or did you immediately abort it?

Do we tend to accept or abort these visions? Do we pray or play God on our own? 

A man that I know had this option when someone else cast a vision into his path. The pastor of the church he attended at the time, asked him to pray about doing a church plant. There was a little community church that needed some life and passion brought back into it. His immediate response was to abort the vision. He hadn't been saved for as many years as some and I'm sure there was a sense of inadequacy. I'm sure fear was involved. I'm sure the enemy had his whisper behind every doubtful thought that entered his head. But he agreed to pray about it.

That man is my Pastor. I'm so thankful that he did not abort God's vision for him. This community needs a man just like he is. Passionate about the lost. Stubborn for convictions he believes in. Feisty when he needs to be. Humble enough to say he doesn't know...and then to figure it out. Willing to believe for big things...even in small communities. Willing to cast God's vision for others to see and get excited about. 

Who would have missed out if he had aborted this vision without genuinely praying?

-The 86 people that got baptized on August 18th of this year. (Two of which were my own children, one grandma-in-law, and two of my husband's cousin's children!) =)

-The many many salvations that he has been a part of personally...but also the ones that happened through other ministries within the church that he committed to bringing back to life.

-The man who was delivered from being demon possessed.

-The people who have been healed from sickness, disease, infection, virus, bacteria, illness, pain, depression, etc.

-The lukewarm who decided not to stay that way and became fired up because of his evident flame of faith.

-The people who come every week. The broken and bruised. The tired and weak. Those lost and without hope. Who leave encouraged. Inspired. Joyful. Secure. Filled with new hope. 

-My own family would have missed out on new ministry opportunities, new friendships, new salvation, a new body of believers to war with and for, and blessings ga-lore! =)

-Last, he would have missed out on the greatest, most difficult and most fulfilling ride of his lifetime. 

I am so thankful that he prayed. I am so thankful that he was willing to be stretched and strengthened in his faith. Because every area that he is weak, God is strong! Where he lacks...God was already preparing him warriors/friends to fill in and help him uphold and feed the flock. I am so thankful to be a part of a team that pursues God's vision no matter what! The enemy can whisper. The enemy can scream and slander even. But God! God's vision is still clear in my pastor's mind...and he will relentlessly cling to and pursue it. And we have committed to do whatever God asks to make vision...reality. We easily follow a man with such audacious faith. We follow because we pray for his steps, and we trust the Heart that guides his.

Back in August, the leadership team of our church was blessed to be able to go to 'The Global Leadership Summit'. It was an amazing two days of intense leadership-oriented knowledge and challenges. The application...ugh...not as easy as the note taking. Bill Hybels was the first speaker and boy he just dove right in. His message was by far one of my favorites! I found it interesting that without knowing before hand; my favorite speakers from that summit where all pastors. I learned the most about the type of leader I aspire to be from them! 

Pastor Hybels was talking about this idea of aborting vision. He charged us to NOT be the type of leaders that Fed-Ex our God-given visions back to heaven with a cowardly note that says...return to sender. Or no thanks. Or send someone else. Instead he challenged us to be willing to pray Joshua 1:9. He said to pray it AS MANY TIMES AS IT TAKES! 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Can you boldly proclaim that verse, as often and as many times as it takes, to move forward toward the vision God has given you? My challenge to you this week is to pray, fervently and passionately, about a vision that God has given you at some point in your lifetime. Pray if it is still His will for you to complete? AND tell someone that you trust to pray with you. 

The following questions from Pastor Hybels, were a couple of the hardest for me to answer. I want you to answer them right now. Please don't just think about them. Don't just move past and forget. Give God a few minutes and answer so that you won't be content with just knowing. I want you to admit where you are and be passionate about NOT STAYING THERE!

Read these questions with a heart soft and willing to admit. Answer them with a heart plyable. Mold able. Changeable. 

 "Just because no one knows, or ever knew, about a vision you aborted...is it okay? What if your vision/your new ministry...is someone's ONLY hope? And when you stand before God and give an account for these things He asked you to do...what will be your excuse? What could you say to Him?!"

Be courageous my friend. Stand up and fight for  these dreams God has given you. They are not silly. They are not too far fetched. God says..."I have immeasurably more for you! You can not measure what I have because your scale is not mine. Trust MY vision above what you imagine. I am God. You are man."

Today...begin to dare to dream big. Tell people your vision. And do not be a squelcher of other believers visions! Just believe God is God and He knows better than you. Let Him to His job...He is MUCH better at it!! =)

It's My Promise, is it Yours?! (Day TWENTY EIGHT-30 Day Challenge)

Do you ever have a day when you wake up and just aren't feelin' it? You feel unsure about most areas of life. You doubt if you are in the right job. If you are doing enough. If you are sleeping enough. If you are giving enough of yourself..or maybe too much. Maybe you should quit everything and start over! Yeah that's it! Clearly the most 'rational' 'thing' 'to' 'do' would be to run away from ALL that you've poured yourself into. (Vanesa presses huge, oversized sarcasm button a few (hundred) times!!!!!!)

What could you do on days like those? (Besides give up and give in?) What do you need on days like those? Maybe all it would take is just a voice of encouragement! Maybe just a kind word to help you see how loved and appreciated you are. "The lips of the righteous nourish many..." Proverbs 10:21

Or maybe...that verse is for you to live out FOR others? Are you tired of giving of yourself to bless others? Do you feel as though you don't have an ounce to give some days? It's okay to admit. Our feelings are something we feel entitled to...but that doesn't always make them right. On the days that you are focusing on how exhausted you are. On the days that you start out by saying you have nothing left to give...who are you passing by? Who was in your path that day that was also on the verge of giving up? Did you even notice them? If not you...then who?!

"A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." Proverbs 11:25 There you go...that verse should cause you to sigh with relief? Are you in children's ministry? Are you part of a worship team? Are you part of a small group? Are you a parent? Are you a prayer warrior? Keep refreshing those around you with acts of kindness and words of encouragement because God will send someone to refresh you! =) It is written in black and white in The Book inspired by God. 

The Bible has PLENTY of promises that we don't see active in our lives. Does that make them untrue? NOPE!! It could mean, though, that we aren't standing on God's promises. It could mean that we aren't believing that they are for us, in this day. It could mean that we aren't living as though they are true. It could mean that we aren't expecting God to fulfill them. Or it could mean that we don't even KNOW them. That we aren't searching His Word for promises that we can proclaim. Start...today! Find a promise in God's Word and underline it. Date it. Write it on a postcard. Speak it boldly. Look at it often! Then let someone know. It doesn't have to be me...but it can be! Ask someone to keep you accountable to believing what God has for you.

"God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless; He has blessed and I cannot change it." Numbers 23:19-20

How refreshing it is to know that God fulfills His promises! Sometimes I willingly but unknowingly put God on my ridiculous little scale of knowledge. I compare Him to what I see. What I have seen. Or what I know to be true because of my three decades of 'experience' here on earth. If I have never seen a person healed...I guess it isn't for us. If I have never seen a man delivered of demons...I guess he will just have to suffer. If I have never seen a once barren woman holding her child...I suppose her dreams will die with her empty, aching heart.

THAT IS WHY GOD REPEATS HIMSELF! (For the thick skulled!) That is why God gives us soooo many promises to stand on! That is why He says meet with one another. Commune with like-minded. Love as He loves. Praise Him no matter what you see. Because His promises ARE for us to cling to! They are for us to proclaim and not waver from. God knew how we would be. He knew we would doubt. So He FILLED the Bible with repeated promises. I double-dog-dare you to find one that speaks straight to your core...and to live like it is yours. ;-)

Here are a couple of promises that will not only help inspire your days...but also will overflow onto those around you. Don't you want to be the bright point in a person's day? Wouldn't it be fulfilling to meet someone who's heart is heavy and leave them uplifted because you have the key to all joy and life?! Let's stop accepting drama in our days...but instead live like we have a reason to. 

"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." Proverbs 12:25

"The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:4

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24

Your choice, be a weight or a weight-lifter. Be a crusher of spirits or a healing nurturer. Do you want to look like Jesus? And I don't mean with the amount of hair you can grow. (Ahem...that may or may not be, but definitely is, a slight slam on my husband's current hairy nature.) If you really want to look like Jesus you will speak as He spoke. With passion. With life. With hope. With promise. With conviction. With truth. With love. With power. With tact. With compassion. With purpose. With promise.

Talk as He talked. Believe as He believed. Live as He lives. He is not dead. Be alive as He is alive!

The Traveler (Day TWENTY FOUR-30 Day Challenge)

Your bags are packed and your shoes are on. You step out in faith because you've accepted the call. You've agreed to go to wherever God leads. For now all you can do is put one foot in front of the other. You are one part nervous and the rest anxious. You have no idea what to expect. You have no idea what you will face. You aren't even sure you can handle it...but you start walking. 

At first, your travels are smooth. You are enjoying the view and the people passing by seem friendly. You are feeling strong and gaining confidence that you are heading the right way. No sooner do you think that, and you notice the weather starting to get a little cooler. You aren't quite as comfortable and people don't seem to be looking around anymore. They seem consumed by their own travels. You reach out to them to offer them a drink and they gladly accept. You offer them words of encouragement and they perk up. They smile with sincerity and walk on with their heads looking forward to what is to come. 

You keep walking, still strong, still confident. The wind picks up. The dust from the road is making it increasingly more difficult to see. You can tell that this is a storm you are walking into and you want desperately to turn around. But you weren't happy there. Why in the world would you go back to stagnant? Why would you return to what wasn't effective? To what wasn't moving you or those around you? But, wait, how do you know if this storm is a sign?

The wind increases even more. Now your eyes are barely open. You can't see anyone on the road anymore because the dust is so thick. A sudden shot of regret fills your head...but your heart and your feet are still moving forward. You begin to wonder...how will I ever know if I am heading where God is leading?

A kind voice is heard beside you. It is a fellow traveler. They stand still beside the path and seem unaffected by the dusty wind. You recognize what you can see of their face. You saw them earlier on your path. You encouraged them. You gave them a drink of living water so that they might not thirst again. They are standing in the storm and they say, 'I am proof. You are going the right way. My path was headed toward darkness until you met me on my journey. This storm will pass. But now, remember me when you doubt.'  

You press on. Determined and courageous. All fear and doubt must leave because it has no place to reside in you. This same thing happens over and over again. Travelers that you met before now stand to cheer you on. 'Keep up the fight!' 'You are doing great!' 'I am praying for you!' One by one they come alongside you. Each one making it easier to whether the storm. 


Ministry is hard. I absolutely LOVE it...but boy is it hard some days. Those are the days that I wonder...did I choose the right path? Did I choose the right church? Did God tell us to stay...or was that our own desire? Am I in the right job...or should I give up and start over? Did I choose the right school for my children? Does God really WANT me to live in the snow belt of Pennsylvania? Really...does he? ;-)

Easy is not a foolproof implication that the choice you made is right. The enemy would LOVE for you to believe that. But truth is...if we are going along our daily lives and we aren't being challenged by the enemy...maybe we aren't being effective for the Kingdom either. If you are already headed away from the will of God...the enemy doesn't 'need' to lead you astray. He need only encourage you to stay!

If though...you are boldly living for Christ. If you are defeating the enemy at his game. If you are inviting others to come to church and praying with them to accept Christ...the war is so on. The enemy will hound. he will discourage. he will throw hurtful words at you...usually from people you love. he will distract you from moving forward. And he will get you to doubt if you are going the right way.

So how do you know? Are you making a difference? Who are the people on your path that were headed for eternity in hell...that are now following Jesus because you met them in their darkest hour? Salvation. People that are accepting Christ as their Lord and Savior...those are how you know you are on the same path that Jesus walked. Lives are being transformed...and you get to be a part of it. You give them the only thing that satisfies.

"Jesus answered, 'Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13-14

If you are struggling today with knowing if you are making a difference...write down the names of people you have encouraged this week/month/year. If you have someone that you led to Christ...write their name in BOLD. If you prayed with someone...write their name down. These are the people you think of when you doubt. When you doubt your call. When you doubt your ministry. When you doubt your position. When you doubt God. Picture the faces attached to the names you wrote down. They are your own personal proof. You are going the right way. Keep walking! The storm will pass...and your faith will be stronger! That is how Romans 8:28 works!

"You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." 1 Corinthians 3:2-3  In my words, let the effectiveness of your life IN ministry be proven by the lives you have touched. When you help heal hearts broken or lost, by just being available and speaking what God says...you will need no other proof. There is nothing greater than for the spiritually lost to become saved, and the broken to be restored in Jesus Name!

If you are staring at a blank sheet of paper..do not feel condemned. Instead...set your sight on Jesus. Maybe the reason you aren't being effective is because you are walking away from your call instead of towards. Maybe you are being distracted from seeing the people that are struggling along your way. Let today be the day you choose to be inspired by greatness. Not by 'Vanesa the Great'...but by the example set by Jesus. Imitate Him always!

Wake up early and meet with God, just as Jesus did. "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed." Mark 1:35

Let the person in front of you be the most important thing at that moment, just as Jesus did. "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 5:21

Pray for healing, just as Jesus did. "The whole town gathered at the door, and Jesus healed many who had various diseases." Mark 1:33-34

Pray for salvation among many, just as Jesus did. "Some men brought to Him a paralytic, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralytic, 'Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.' " Matthew 9:2

Do not sell yourself short...because the same Jesus that walked this earth...lives within you! Keep walking with Him. Follow His voice...you are finishing the ministry that HE began! =)

Planting Weeds (Day TWELVE-30 Day Challenge)

Ahhhh gardening. It does not matter if it is fruit and veggies or bushes and flowers; it is an enjoyably therapeutic pastime for some and an incredibly frustrating disappointment for others. Raise your hand if you are a gardener. You totally did it didn't you? Bahahaha...you are so predictable. ;-) I guarantee if you raised your hand it is because you either enjoy it...or have had success with it.

Whether you are a successful gardener or not...you can still appreciate the work and simple concepts of the labor intensive process. You put the time, sweat and work in...you yield the blessing of the crop. Or you labor, cut and prune and you enjoy the beauty of some of God's finest handiwork. 

Gardening for me is so NOT like therapy. If anything...it causes the need for anger management. Lol! ;-) For me it isn't about our success in getting the crop to grow...but about what destroys it before it is mature and ripe enough for use. My husband and I learned from our first garden, that a fence was necessary on our farm of 'roaming goats'. Lol! We have two short, plump pygmy goats. Salt and Pepper. Yes, Salt is white and Pepper is brown. We are not the most creative bunch. Lol! So this spring, during the planting season, we got smart. We built a raised garden and surrounded it with an electric fence. No more goat problems right? Right!

BUT, just so we are clear and incase you were not aware...chickens can fly over electric fences. :-/ So far this season...I have gotten ONE lonely tomato from my garden. I chopped it up immediately and put it in a taco salad I was eating for lunch that day. I didn't want there to be any chance of that precious fruit of my labor getting eaten or dropped. Lol! Every other sign of life has been eaten just as quick as it began to grow. My cute little, greens tomatoes...devoured before they were ready. Grrrrrr!

Let's spin this garden to a faith lesson. In Psalm 145:13-14 David writes, "Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your domain endures through all generations. The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down."

Think of a promise God has given you. Do you KNOW, do you really honestly trust the words of this Psalm? Do you wholeheartedly believe that no matter the circumstantial evidence...God IS faithful to ALL of His promises? Do. not. doubt. them. Do not waver. Hold on tight because He has not forgotten you. Read and reread the above verse as often as you have a tiny seed of doubt. Do not let it take root in your heart!

Let's say that the promises of God are like seeds planted along the path you are traveling. The enemy immediately comes along behind and surrounds those brand new baby seeds with weeds. his goal is to choke out that seed quickly. he wants you to give up on that promise before you've had a chance to really grasp it. he wants you to give up before that dream takes root. he wants you to shrug it off as a dream rather than a promise. he wants you to die without those promises ever becoming reality because of the weeds he strategically placed to choke them out.

The weeds are a nuisance. They destroy without thought or remorse. They just grow because they are planted. They are not to be held responsible. It is the planter. The hand that planted them is to blame. Have you ever been a planter of seeds of doubt? I remember the first person I ever told that I wanted to write a book. The first thought that came back at me was that it was just a dream that probably would never happen. I let that weed grow tall and strong. My promise from God was hidden in the shadow of doubt. Then one day I was strong enough and smart enough to know how vital weeding is to a healthy garden.

The weeds of doubt and untruth had to be ripped out. I found truth in the word of God...and I stood on it. I know God's track record. I know His scale of goodness and mercy is tipped in my favor. I know His desire for my life...because He told me. He showed me in a vision. I'm in constant communication with Him. So now those weeds don't. Have. A. Stinkin'. Chance. :-)

Let's go back to the planter of seeds. We've all planted a few. Hopefully without intent. Does this type of gardener currently describe you? When a Christian comes to you and tells you of a aspiration or life goal...are you the first to squelch it? Are you the first cast that shadow of doubt? You feel like you are just being a realist. You are excusing your actions because you are merely trying to save them from disappointment. 

BUT...you are not God. You can't even get onto a scale with Him because if He dropped a even a hangnail from His finger onto that scale, He'd send you sailing though the air. Your thoughts are not His thoughts. They are too small and simple minded. They are too into self. They are too limited by your view.

Hold onto God's promises for yourself...and be passionate about it. Mediocrity has been done...and it is not appealing to anyone that desires life over death. Passion is what draws people in. Christ is what keeps them there. And when you hear an aspiration of a fellow believer that seems like a stretch...stretch. Allow your faith be stretched. Believe and pray against your own tendency to have unbelief. Let your mind be opened to the promises of God. 

Stop. planting. weeds. Stop standing in the way of the Son. Stop stomping on others promises because you are also missing out on your own. Stop devouring others dreams with your own doubt in the Word of God. INSTEAD...share your crop of promise. Teach others how to have successful gardening experiences. That is how we believers in the Word roll.

"God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?" Numbers 23:19-20

Relevant Reflections-Storms of Life

A few Sunday’s ago my pastor read a very familiar story from the Word of God. This is what proves that the Presence of God is all through the Bible. I’ve read this story. I’ve heard this story. And yet…God spoke a simple and powerful truth to me that I hadn’t seen before. He is forever giving me a reason to stand in awe of Him! (I sooo LOVE that about Him!)

We are going to read from Mark 4:35-41. I know that we’ve all heard and read the story of when Jesus calmed the storm…but please take the time to read it again. God has something specific to show you. He refuses to leave us in the dark. And where HE is…darkness cannot be. That is why He is forever making His Word relevant in our days. Specific. He meets us in a new way that meets our specific needs for that time in our lives. Awe. I’m in awe!

 

Mark 4: 35-41 “That day when evening came, He said to His disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took Him along, just as He was, in the boat. There were also other boats with Him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to His disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey Him!””

 

I can paint you a simple picture with our last boating trip of the 2012 summer. Uncle Mike let my son Aiden drive the boat for a little while. Aiden…was SEVEN!

Intent. I guess that IS how you would want a seven year old to look while driving a boat. Intent and focused. No matter how nervous his mother is…pictures and videos still MUST be captured. And here is what his little brother was doing…… No fear. Zzzzzz

 

Let me point out my favorite parts of that story. First of all…it was Jesus’ idea to take the boat out! Oh how I needed to realize that truth…a LONG time ago. Haha! If it is HE that is leading you. If it is His idea that you are following. Even when you face obstacles and hardship…it does NOT indicate that you didn’t hear Him correctly. What it does indicate, is that you are about to learn to trust Him in a new area. You are about to see His faithfulness to your fresh, unfamiliar needs. Following the Voice of God will encounter some storms…BUT that same Voice will pierce through them in the moment you ask. (*Did that last statement just give you chills? If not…place two fingers on the inside of your wrist and check for a pulse. Haha! It did me!*)

That brings me to my next favorite part. When the disciples woke Jesus up…what did He do? Freak out? Nah. Cry? Nope. Run around like a crazy person? Not for a second! He rebuked that which He has dominion over. And what did He use to calm the raging storm? Not a spear…but speech. He spoke! Can you speak? Do you have power (because of the Jesus that lives within you) to speak to the storms in your life? YES!! Some days the truth hurts. Today, the truth sets you free my friend. :-D That voice is a powerful weapon in this storm you are waging now. Learn to use it to help instead of hurt!

 

So are you ready for what God spoke directly to me during the reading of this passage of scripture? This statement I’m about to make is the reason I woke up with my husband at 615 this morning. I knew someone needed this simple reality today. God whispered the following to me…”Did you catch that Vanesa? Jesus SAID to the waves… Just speak. Speak life even if the waves are higher than your vision!”

And that vision that God was referring to can be one of two things. Some days our storms, our problems, our circumstances can seem so deep that we can see nothing else. Our vision is blocked because all we are focusing on is the ‘why’ instead of the ‘how to move past’. So we literally, don’t have vision. It is being blocked. Which, by the way, makes the enemy beam with pride. His storm is doing exactly what he planned.

Then there is God vision. There is the glimpse that God gives you of what your future plans are to be. For example, God has given me a vision to write my own devotional. Sometimes the reality of how crazy my life currently is, with four young children, prevents me from seeing that vision ever coming true…but I KNOW IT WILL. I know that God has a season and right now, I am developing my own style. I am developing a deeper love for His knowledge. And I am learning to listen to Him through the calm and through the storm…and to come out praising Him either way.

When the enemy can keep us discouraged from completing God’s specific and intimate vision for us…this too is proving his storm to be effective for what he had planned. Picture the smile on his face. Let that awful, snickering smile motivate you today. Let that anger rise up within you and aim it the correct ‘power’. Let the enemy feel the wrath of *insert your name here* because God just revealed his scheme to you. Those waves just lost their height. The fear that he was holding over your life has just lost its power.

How is your vision? Is it blocked? Or have you forgotten you had ever seen a vision? Speak to your storms today. Don’t wait another second. Let the calm wash over your circumstance. God. Has. Got. This!

My Beautiful Little Fuzzy Blob of Color

God brought this illustration to my mind recently. It was given to me years ago by a man named Ben, who at that time attended a Bible study in our home. =) I have used it so many times since I first heard it. If I gave Him a dollar for every time I repeated this example…he would not be rich…but I’d owe him a pretty good chunk of change. Haha. Anyway, God prompted me to share this with you…so it must be for someone out there! =)

Tell me…what is this a picture of? Can’t tell can you? This blurry, fuzzy color blob just doesn’t make sense, does it? This is actually a close up of just one teeny tiny part of a mural. I’m talkin’ a huge building-size mural in my hometown. Let’s pretend that this mural represents our lifetime. This is what we see through our own eyes.   It is as if we have our faces smashed against a building-sized mural. How can we make out what is our next step? How can we make a decision on whether this is good or not? Is this part of God’s plan…or is this a dangerous scheme of the enemy? This is what you see. Is this what you are basing your life decisions on? A fuzzy blob of color that doesn’t make sense. Are you just floating through life…hoping for the best?! There must be a better way!

This little chunk of the picture is the part that God allows you to see. Why? Why does He do that? Why just little pieces of the mural? Why can’t we see what the picture looks like too? Why doesn’t God just show us the ‘big picture’? Why can’t we see what is to come? It seems as though it would alleviate some frustrations on our part, right?

I know for me…it is because I would not have followed the same path. I would not have gone through some of the things that God gave me victory over if given the choice. And if I hadn’t, I would not be who I am now. I would not be where I am now.

I would not have experienced a miraculous healing from post-partum depression, because I would have avoided ever going through it if God had allowed me to see it coming. I would have missed out on the blessings of my four living children if I had known that I would have three others that would never make it to full term, and chosen not to go through that heartache. I would have chickened out on a lot of things that have been used for my good.

I know now that I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT REALLY IS BEST FOR ME! I do not know what it takes to stir up the calling that God has placed on my life. But I can trust Him 100%. I know that NOW. If I had not seen God work all of these things together for my good…I would not trust Him as I do now. I have absolutely no reason NOT to trust Him. He has been the only One who has never failed me. He has always been faithful!

You have heard it said that only God can see the ‘big picture’. This is the whole mural on the side of a building in Corry.    This is what our lives look like to God. A beautiful masterpiece. Each trial, just one stroke of our design. Each mountain. Each valley. Used to mold and shape us for His purpose. What powerful warriors come out of pain! What amazing ministries are birthed out of following God’s path no matter where it leads.

The way I see it, there are four different types of people.

1) Those who have their nose smashed against the mural and are desperately trying to figure it out before they move at all.

2) Those who have their nose smashed against the mural and have their eyes closed because they fear what they will see and might not like.

3)Those who have their backs to the mural and can’t figure out why they don’t know where to go next.

4)And then there are those who have their nose smashed against the mural and trust that God will reveal His way. They wait when He says wait. They move when He says move. They trust because they have every reason to…and absolutely no reason not to!

I want to be the one who trusts. I want to be the one who is willing to go wherever God instructs. I want to stand when He tells me to stand. I want to speak when He tells me to speak. I want to sing when He tells me to sing. And I want to write when He tells me to write. (Right now…I should be sleeping. It is almost 1:00 am and the alarm is set for 5:10 am.) But, here I am practicing what I am preaching. God told me to write this post tonight. As I am typing I don’t even have the pictures taken that you will have for the final draft of this post. But when God speaks…I write. I have learned that my fuzzy color blob is beautiful when I trust the eye that sees it all!

Whew…What a Night!

I’ve been stuck staying home from work so far this week. Not by choice…but because it has been a necessity. If wasn’t one child it was another. Seriously! One child has a sinus and throat infection accompanied by two days of constant fevers. Another was throwing up. And Wednesday night something hit me. UGH! I had plans. I went from excited…to very annoyed. I hate staying home from church when God is evidently moving! I just couldn’t muster up the energy to get off the couch though. My head was pounding and I just couldn’t. Keep. My. Eyes. Open.

Normally I’d be a bit bummed to have to stay home while my husband went on to church without me. (Is bummed a strong enough word? Border line angry maybe…) That night though, I was really, really excited that he was going! I knew that God had a purpose. I trusted it. I had a relaxing night of working from my bed. (No really…I was working. Not as in the ‘keeping track of my eyelids’ type of working…but for real work. Promise! Haha!) God used my children to bless me and it was so awesome to experience, that I had no regrets. =)

These were the highlights of my night. (They might not ‘appear’ to be highlights…but I can assure you, they encouraged me to change my outlook. What a blessing these young children of mine are to me!!)

If you don’t know me…keep in mind that my children are all young. They range in age from 7 to 2. My two youngest were my sickly ones last night. At one point right after my husband got home from work I laid down on my couch to doze. As soon as my daughter walked in and saw me resting…she got my favorite warm, fuzzy blanket and gently covered me up. I am not even sure if I thanked her…but oh how thankful I was. I snuggled in for a quick, much needed snooze.

Random acts of thoughtfulness and kindness…those are traits of my King. =)

 

 

Just a short while later, after my husband had left for the evening, I walked into the living room to see my oldest son holding a bucket for his little brother to throw up into. While my daughter was gagging and complaining…my son was right there soothing his little brother.

Random acts of service…another trait of the King.

 

 

After Titus had gotten sick several times, I told the kids that we needed to pray for him. Aiden’s response…”I’ve been praying for him mom. I’ve been asking God to heal him and take away his pain and discomfort.”

Oh the sweet, but ever powerful prayers of a child…conversations with their King.

 

 

Finally it was bedtime for all the kids…and their mother! ;) I had made it! 7:30pm! I put it the movie of that the kids had agreed on. (Aiden tried really really hard to get them to agree to a coon hunting video…but he did not succeed. Go fig. *shrugs shoulders*) They settled in to watch a series of bible stories. Before I crashed for the night I went to the basement to check on my laundry and fill up the wood stove. Pretty soon I heard a little sniffle from the basement steps. I turned to see Ariel standing at the bottom of the steps crying. What could’ve happened? If I’m being honest…I was a little annoyed because I assumed it was because of a fight.

I’m sure I sighed. And I’m sure I asked what happened with a ‘tone’. Haha! My children are good at shutting me up. They down-right shock me on many occasions. Last night was no exception.

To my surprise, she explained that her tears were because of the movie she was watching. They had been watching a bible cartoon about the last days of Jesus. She said, “Mom, I knew that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, but I didn’t like watching it. I didn’t like seeing Him dead.”

Heart…melting… We went right up and sat down on my bed. I wasn’t going brush off this opportunity to speak life into my little 6 year old daughter’s heart. I had her attention and she had mine! This is how I responded. “I understand how seeing that must have been hard. It is difficult to see what Jesus had to go through for us. But remember…He didn’t stay dead. Right?!”

She nodded her head slowly.

I continued. “And do you know what? We get to have Jesus ALIVE in our hearts because he was willing to die for us. When you see Mom cleaning and you decide to come help without being asked…that is because Jesus is in your heart telling you to show kindness. When you see Mom crying and you hug me and tell me you love me…that is because Jesus is living in you and wants you to speak words of life. When you see that Mom is stressed and you tell me how beautiful I am…that is Jesus in you speaking words of encouragement through you. It is a never ending blessing that Jesus suffered like He did.” She accepted my answer and the tears stopped. We hugged and kissed and off to bed she went. It is moments like that. That is what I was created to do. To be a mother, encourager, teacher, and example to the four most precious people in my life. I want to help shape and mold God’s design in them. And all it takes is trust and time. I trust God’s plan and I trust His time.

 

Had I gone to church…I would’ve missed that conversation. God’s strategy is unlike mine. He makes sense of what seems to be a mess. I bow humbly at His feet and continue to trust His path. Every day he teaches me something new. Each day fresh, with a new sunrise to enjoy.

  This one was from a few weeks ago over a cemetery. God’s beauty is not limited to what we might think is beautiful. He can make anything beautiful!

As for my husband…God had a specific plan for him that night too. Had the kids and I been there it would not, could not have happened. I believe in God’s plan. I trust His hand. And I am so in love with how extravagantly He loves me and mine. If you you’ve forgotten what it is to be loved like that…listen to the words to this song about his Extravagant Love. Sing it out. You know I am! =)

Oh and if you get a chance you should check out another blogger that I have come upon recently. It seems as though God is teaching us similar things when it comes to our children. Her blog post title said it perfectly…and I had tears as I read it. “Show Them ME”. Click on those words to read how the move of God is specific and simple.

Relevant Reflections (Dec-Week 2)

My reflection today is going to come in two parts. The first from Sunday morning and the second from that evening. Any chance I’ve been getting lately to spend time with God…He’s been revealing new truths to me. (Or reminding and reinforcing ones that I already know!) I am grabbing and holding onto each nugget of wisdom as if it were treasure.

Think about that. God’s Word is supposed to be treasure to us. Bring to your mind something that you treasure. It does not have to be expensive. Some of my most treasured possessions are notes from my family. (Go figure…I love the written word! Haha!) What do we do with the things we treasure? We usually try to keep them safe. We know where they are and we notice if they are missing. Do you keep the Word and instruction of God hidden in your heart? Do you notice if there are lies covering over the truth that He has given to you? Speaking of treasure…let’s go to a section of verses in the second chapter of proverbs. In Sunday school this past Sunday we were given material with these verses listed.

Proverbs 2: “1 My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, 2 turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding,3 and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, 4 and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure,5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.6 For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”

Notice how many actions those verses list. Accept. Store. Turn. Apply. Call out. Cry aloud. Look (as if it were silver). Search for it (as for hidden treasure). Understand. Find.

Doesn’t it seem worth the first part of that list to get to those last two? Knowledge and understanding! Whew…that hits home. Do your part with the Word and God. Use it for your life. Apply it to your specific needs. And you will gain what you are looking for! It is right there. Black words on white paper…or in this case…pink words on a gray screen. Powerful realization!!

Okay…on to the point of this post. Sorry I tend to ramble a bit. Sunday after worship, Pastor Les has us listen to a powerful song by Chris Tomlin. Click here to listen to it on YouTube. Please, for your sake, pay close attention to the words!


Here’s my favorite part…
“I know Who goes before me.
I know Who stands behind.
The God of angel armies, is always by my side.
The One who reigns forever.
He is a friend of mine.
The God of angel armies, is always by my side.”


Don’t those God-inspired words help stir the confidence in you? Whom Shall I(We) Fear? Name, in your own head, someone/something that you fear. I won’t tell…go ahead. It does not have to be a physical fear…but maybe a mental one. Maybe it is someone who makes you feel tiny and insignificant when they talk to you, and you fear having to see them. Whom SHOULD you fear? No one and nothing. I know it is easy to say and hard to do…but let’s try to gain wisdom so that we can
follow the example of Jesus. It will be worth your effort, Promise!

Here are the words that God spoke to me about fear. “What do you fear, Vanesa? Whom do you fear? Is it fear of rejection that keeps you silent? Is it failures of the past that keep you seated when I’ve asked you to stand? Or…my daughter…do you fear the Creator on judgment day?” OUCH! I needed that. I needed to be reminded that I fear God over man. I want to walk in His light even if it is a new path.

As for Sunday night, we watched a video about aviation. I have to admit I was not excited when I heard what it was about. No offense intended. God has just wired us all differently…and it seemed as thought it was not going to ‘float my boat’. (Guess I should’ve said ‘fly my plane’. Hee hee.) Wowza, how wrong I was. I got it. I got the message the he delivered. It stung a bit at first…but I received it with open arms because I knew that God was all through it. And he had me laughing throughout the night. (I love laughing. It is my favorite. Haha!)

I won’t get all of the terminology correct because I am not at all interested in aviation. It scares me. But the message can be understood the same. Here is my shortened version of what I understood. The man in the video is a pilot of a high-tech war craft. He teaches and instructs the ‘young guns’ on how to operate these aircrafts for their first solo flights.  Right before they go out on their own he gives them a final briefing.

How would you respond to a final briefing? Would you sit back, barely paying attention, with complete confidence because you knew it all already? Almost as if this ‘old man’ had nothing he could teach you!? OR would you hang on his every word? Would you trust that he had been in this position once before and he was successful because he was, after all, still alive! First, I need to make it clear that I WOULD NOT EVER BE IN THIS POSITION…because as I said…I am not wired that way. But IF I was going to fly a high-tech war craft…I would be the one feverishly taking notes.

Several times in the video he said the following words, “I am here to brief some of you today.” It was me. He was talking right to me…I’m sure of it. He gave an example at one point of a professor from college. This professor was the first one ever in this man’s life to care about him other than his own family. He was concerned about his spiritual well-being. Who has been that to you? And who is God leading you to? Just a simple conversation can mean the world to someone in need. Let’s be intentional on looking for and listening to people that need the truth of Jesus!

At the the end of the video the man spoke about dreams. Can you think of some of your own? Things that you long for? Things that cause you to be discontented because you are always waiting and wondering. I believe that there is a difference between a dream and a vision. I am not talking about dreams at night. I know that God can pack some powerful wisdom in our dreams. I am talking about the things you daydream about having, or doing, or places to go to. What are you over looking because you are in waiting for……….

Here are two quotes as I remember them from the video. Keep in mind these are from a man who had dreams of being exactly what he became. He got all he wanted and yet…

“Dreams…when not from God…are just a tragic disappointment in the waiting.”
“Dreams can become a memory…in an instant.”

As I said above, when I say the word dreams I am not talking about visions that God has given us. I am talking about the ‘dreams’ that we hang onto and wait for. They occupy our time and energy. They keep us from moving full-force into what God has for us in the now. These dreams can set us up for disappointment and failure if they are not what God has for us. Even if they are good. Even if they are for Him…if they are not from Him…let’s vow to go with His plan instead. Make sense?

By the end of Sunday night these are the nuggets of wisdom that God gave to me. You, as a heir to the throne, right now, hold in your hands and in your heart…the key to help someone else to salvation and safety. What will you do with that reality? God has called us to be His hands and feet. The heart of God sends people to your path so that they might come to know Him when they meet you. Can you rise up to that call? Can you see people through the eyes of Christ?


Did you ever have a vision from God that you are just so so so excited about seeing come to reality? That is where I am at right now. And I literally get butterflies in my stomach every time I think of it. Like Christmas morning-when I used to open my eyes as a child and see that my stocking was filled up and laying by my door, begging to be opened-butterflies. I am trying to be patient…but I’m just so excited and about to burst with God’s promise. Romans 8:28 is at work. The things of old are making sense. I’ve been asking. I’ve been crying out. I’ve been searching for truths to cover the lies that I was expected to believe. And Proverbs 2 is making sense in a new way. Knowledge and understanding of God’s ways and His perfect path are coming into view. *squeals* I am ready God. I’ve been preparing for what is to come…and I trust where you are leading. I have NO reason NOT to trust You.

Right now I am praying for you, my friend. I pray that the knowledge and  understanding of God will flood your life. And I pray that you will search for it. Cry out to God. Seek God and God’s people. Find people that inspire you to be who God intended you to be. Speak life and surround yourself with people who do the same for you. It works!

To close…let me end with some of the people that God has sent us to recently. Our new Pastor Les and his wife Jennifer. They are the real deal. They love without condition. They are authentic. They have a passion for God AND His people. They have hearts that are willing to serve. And they are contagious. They are inspiring me to write. They are inspiring me to sing. They are inspiring me to love without condition. They are inspiring me to serve. And tonight…they helped inspire an acoustic guitar worship session in my house. You may or may not have any IDEA how huge this is! Just know that God is absolutely faithful. I've believed it. I've prayed since August for it to be evident…and I trusted that God would hear my cry. Oh, and that Christmas morning excitement…just got even more intense. I can’t wait to see it all unfold. Amazed…I sit back and

I.
Am.
Amazed! =)