Dear Dad

As I sit here at my desk, drinking my coffee and eating my grits, I am thinking of you.  I can't help but to think of you whenever I have grits (and sweet tea).  As I type it is clear to me that I have a mission field in mind this morning.  You.  I have been relentlessly praying for you these last couple of weeks.  Though I will admit, that some days I don't have much to say.  During those times I am just still before the Lord.  Quiet, as I just let Him see my heart's cry.  I keep asking Him..."What am I to do?"

God's response...tell him what I want him to know.  Speak my Heart through yours and let it be Me that takes if from there.

If I never see you face to face again...here is what I want you to know.  

You have value to me.  You are irreplaceable.  Your constant prayers are a vital part of why I am who I am today.  God heard every one and He has stayed close to me through every tear I have shed.  He has protected me and healed me over and over again.

You are a part of my story.  My faith.  My ministry.  My family.  We will carry on the legacy that Jesus began in and through you.

Your grandchildren love you.  They love to hear your voice.  (My daughter says you sound like a cowboy.  Haha!)  They think of you often.  They want desperately to make some memories with you.  Until then...they will continue to love you and pray for their Grandpa James.

Your mission field looks much different than most; BUT, it is still your mission field.  God continues to place you where He knows you are needed.  You speak of your Savior boldly and without an ounce of regret.  My grandpa was also like that...and I very much respect that passion in you both.  You are not done on this side of Heaven.  God's work through you has not yet been completed.  Your children and your grandchildren still need your fervent prayers when they rise to begin a day and while they sleep.  We need you to fight for us and with us.

Your days are numbered...and only God knows the beginning of your eternity.  There is a reason that He does not give that decision to us.  It's because we are not all-knowing.  We are not omni-present.  We can't see what is to come.  We can't think past our own perspective some days; to see how far the  ripple of ending our life would extend.   

I know that the enemy will not stop pursuing us because he fears our prayers.  He shudders at the sound of our voices.  He wants nothing more than to silence the loudest advocates for the cause of Christ.  We have an eternal mission in our days...and we courageously walk in our calling.  We are the worst type of Christian to satan.  Confident.  Bold.  Sassy.  And relentless....     Even when I am feeling weak I whisper, and the enemy hears it.  I keep saying these words over and over again...

"I WILL NEVER STOP FIGHTING YOU!"  

I want the enemy to hear my voice.  I want satan to know that he will not dictate my future.  No matter what he throws at me, I will not bow to him.  I need you to fight, Dad.  My kids need you to fight, Dad.  God has spoken and He is not finished with you, Warrior.  I bow beside you in prayer, Mighty Warrior.  I place my hand on your back, scarred from battle.  I see the places where the arrows that were meant for me...pierced you.  I am thankful for your fight.  Beyond grateful.  

But now I need you to stand up with your armor on and your knees shaking...and tell the enemy Who your Daddy is.  I need you to boldly approach the Throne of Grace, for it is there that you will find rest and strength.  I need you to kneel at the foot of the cross and proclaim that you, a son of the King, will submit to His authority for the rest of your days.  You have a family to live for!

Until I see you again....

I love you so much Dad! 

  -Sugar 

Sum of the Lies Women Believe

If I had a penny for every lie I've ever believed...I would own stuff. Alotta stuff. It is in-cred-ib-ly infuriating for me to take a moment to think, for just a minute or two (so it doesn't become a 'dwell'), about some of the lies I believed in the last week. The enemy strung me along with his maddening nonsense for most it. I knew it was him. My Father does not, would not say those things to me. And yet...I could not shake them. They lingered in my thought patterns. I was reminded of them just when I started to forget.

God is using last week for this. #Romans8:28 I know that I am not the only woman who believes lies about themselves. I am not the only woman who entertains thoughts that were not originally hers. I am not alone in this battle of the mind. If I was...there would not be SO many books already written about it.

God spoke to me yesterday while I was push mowing my lawn. I'll admit I was complaining, in my head, about doing it; even though...it was a perfect day for mowing. Not too hot. Breezy. Sunny. It was nothing like the monsoon our NW Pennsylvania summer was last year. Nor like the thick, muggy weather we had last week. I came in for a drink on one of my many 'breaks' and saw the sweetest message about my post from yesterday. When I went back to mow...God started speaking to me about today's post. See how all it took to break my crappy thought pattern was one sentence of encouragement from a random person. (When God asks you to offer words that are nourishing to another's soul...even if they seem small...do it! You can be the change in someone's downward spiral of a day.)

Let's move on to some of the lies. Some I have believed. Some I have not. The same will go with you.

-If i am larger than a -0....I am not and can not be beautiful

-If I am a size -0...i know i am beautiful and am therefore happy, always.

(FYI *I, on purpose, chose a number that is not real. It is not about a size, it is about God's masterpiece, You.*)

-Pinterest is real life! (...for everyone,but you.)

-If your kids are wearing 'non-church clothing' to church...you are clearly lazy and don't care.

-If your kids are dressed nicely at church, your morning was full of nothing but peaceful, sweet moments captured on camera
*There was clearly no screaming to brush. your. stinking. hair.  Or, frustrated last minute changes of clothes because the mud puddle was just. too. much. to. resist.*

-Your job defines you.

-Their job defines them.

-Perfection is attainable.

-Women who are in ministry 'have it all together'.
-Women who aren't in ministry aren't doing enough.

-Pastor's wives don't have bad days because they are super-spiritual, extraordinary beings.
-Pastor's wives don't understand real life, because they don't have to live it.

-Stay at home moms are not doing enough.
-Working moms are doing too much.

Comparison. It is not something we had to learn to do. It came very naturally to us at a young age. The problem is that those things that we don't have to work to become...are, most times, what we are to be fighting against. What we need to ask ourselves is, would God compare me to another sinful, created being? Is that consistent with the nature of our God who is so full of love that He sent his son to die for those He knew would reject Him? OR, would he instead see us THROUGH a Man who was tempted in every way...and was sinless?

Did you notice the title of today's post? It was purposeful. I know the difference between some and sum, promise! It was an intentional decision to use the word sum. Alone, each lie we hear and carry on with us for any length of time, might not feel too burdensome. Add a couple more and they become a bit more noticeable. What about when we have heard, accepted, and are dragging along a large sum of lies. Some of them from family members. Some of them from friends. Some of them from strangers. Some of them concocted in your own brain. It becomes increasingly harder to remember who you really are. It becomes even more difficult to BE who you really are because one by one you unknowingly let someone else's thoughts define you. <--- That someone...satan.

For today, try to take captive, every. thought. that God would not say to your heart.  He would not remind you of your mistakes, without truth to dismantle them.  He would not dwell on your flaws and weaknesses for the purpose of keeping you in a depressed state.  If you KNOW His voice, you know..."God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:17  He takes your life seriously.  Very seriously. I heard it said one day recently, "You were worth Jesus to God."

Your worth is not in anything that you can acquire here.  Your worth is not in how stylish you can look.  Your worth is not in your position at work.  Your worth is in Christ.  He was there at the beginning, and He will be there at your end.  If you believe that God sent His only Son to die for your sins, weaknesses, shortcomings, thoughts, actions, words...then He is Who you listen to.  It is HIS opinion of you that matters.  It is He that you will answer to for your choices...and it is He that is waiting to free you from the lies that overwhelm your days.

As for me...I would LOVE a chance to pray for you!  In person, over the phone, through social media, through email...whatever it may be.  It would help fulfill my purpose in posting today...if I could help you find a truth from the Living Word to cover over each lie you've been believing.  Please send them to me. One at a time. A whole list.  Just reach out and gain strength in your days. Let God intervene and stop your stinkin' thinkin.

Faith is More Than Words

Have you ever gone through something so incredibly difficult that there were

simply 

no 

words

Nothing that was offered seemed to be of any real help. Even though you knew that the intent of each person's hearts was pure, and you knew that their purpose was to uplift...somehow before their words could pierce through to your heart...it was as if they had already lost their life.

This is how many hours in my days have been over the last few months.

Numb.
Unable to participate in regular, every day life because it felt far away and impossible.
Many well-intended words from friends/family that seemed barely valuable enough to let sink in.

I've thought about becoming distant from everyone.
I've wanted to just pick up my family and drive away.
I've longed to forget.
I've screamed at the devil for how utterly awful and absolutely ruthless he is.
I've been selfish with my thoughts and prayers.

Over and over I have magnified the scheme of the enemy INSTEAD of choosing to focus on the power of the cross.

Where do we turn when words suddenly seem empty? How can we combat an enemy who wants us forever silenced? How do we fight off the pull of darkness when the usual fluffy spiritual answers just aren't leading us to hope this time?

I've never claimed to have it all together. I'm sorry if this comes as a surprise to you. Some days I crumble under pressure. Those days, I doubt if I will ever know better. I fall and I fail. And sometimes, sometimes...I get knocked down while completely unsuspecting. I get blind-sided by something that I could. not. have. seen. coming...and my faith is tested. The war becomes glaringly, in-my-face, real...and I find that I am very much in it.

Will I win...or will I give in? 

The first seems harder than the other. 

The latter offers ease, accompanied by empty promises. 

It is my choice. It always is.

I am turning to worship. Some days I cry while I sing...because my efforts seem feeble. Some days I don't feel a difference...because somehow I am still choosing to focus on me. Some days I smile and almost laugh while I worship...knowing that the enemy is furious and cowering. Some days I gain strength while I praise my King. Those days I stand firm in my calling...and I wish to be no where else.

I am turning to Truth. Even when I don't feel like it...I am finding Truth in the Word of God to cling to. On the days that I can't feel that Truth...I still believe. I know better than to trust how I feel. I'm a mess. He's the Maker. I trust His inspired Word over my thoughts! And He is revealing His truth loving, living, speaking people to me. It is a hard lesson to learn. I did not ask for it. I did not pray for it. But I will remain thankful for it.

And I am turning to you. You, who have been led to read this little blog of mine. I am asking for your prayer. The road that I have found myself on is hard. Not impossible...but hard. I don't know how to walk this road. I can't see the end of it. I am fairly confident that the end is far off. I can only see where I am. Some days seeing where I am is overwhelming.

If I have not love...I have nothing.
If I have not hope...I have less than God has for me.
If I have not peace amidst this storm...I am believing the whisper of the enemy over the proven Truth of Christ.

My strongest days are Sunday. My favorite days are those spent with the ones I love MOST! As for today, I will choose to win. Giving up is not an option. I have too many people who will go to war for me. I am loved...and I am thankful for that.

I will see Romans 8:28. It will become evident. I will listen closely for the voice of God to continue to lead me when I am looking...and I will feel the Hand of God guide me when I am struggling to focus.

I will win. Truth will win. I need only be still and know that I serve the One and only True God.

He is enough for me.

Get Your Praise On (Day TWENTY SEVEN-30 Day Challenge)

Every time my kids and I drive anywhere together...music is almost always on. As of recently...we are usually rocking bands such as LaCrae, Toby Mack and Capital Kings. They are all super upbeat and fun. To some who hear us drive by, it might seem a little odd to hear Christian dance, hip hop or rap coming from my sweet minivan; but  I can assure you that my kids don't care at all. Lol! The smiles on their faces...and the lyrics they are singing makes it worth a few eye rolls. ;-)

Even though lately we've been listening to a lot of music that makes us all want to dance...I love that my kids can still appreciate true worship. I know that I've mentioned one of my favorite songs before...but I am going to again. It became clear to me in the last few weeks that maybe my kids aren't 'the norm'.  Haha!! I mean they really aren't normal, but I'm thinking maybe they are more 'peculiar' than I realize. 

I'm going to go King James on you for a moment. Stay with me. ;-) "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of Him who hath called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." 1 Peter 2:9 ( Just so we are clear...because I wasn't...'shew forth' means show out into view.)

What does it mean to be peculiar? By definition it can have several meanings. Some of them include; special, unique, eccentric, uncommon, unusual or odd. What does it mean for us, as Christians, to be peculiar? The definitions that I believe the author is referring to in the passage above are; 'distinct from all others', 'distinctive in nature or character from others'. 

WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THE WORLD!! (All caps means I am screaming it right?! Lol! There is a difference between screaming in anger and screaming with passion. I am passionate about that one...not bitter! I just want to be sure you got my point.) We aren't supposed to talk like them!  We aren't supposed to live like them! We are supposed to be peculiar! We are supposed to show, so the world can see, ourselves praising Him who has given us freedom from eternal death and suffering! You  have something to celebrate. It is not just your day...but your forever! We are not above the lost, as in high and mighty, but we are different. Or at least we should be!

My oldest son has gotten the chance to play DJ with my MP3 player a few times over the last couple of weeks, while we had some friends of his in the car with us. He deemed himself in charge of finding music suitable for everyone. He played a few silly dance-type songs, a little rap and then.... (Here is where it got peculiar, in a good way.) Aiden turned to his friend and said in an excited voice...'Do you want to hear an awesome song? It is so so good! It is one of my favorites!' Of course they did...his song selection had been slammin'! His DJ skills were clearly right on track.

If you haven't ever heard the song that he played next...take the time now to watch the video. It is so so good, in my opinion as well. So good! The song is called, 'The Great I Am'. It starts off quiet and slow...and it builds. I remember well the first time my children and I ever heard it. We were driving home at night and I turned it way up. (Probably to try to hear over their loudness!) Everyone.got.silent. (In a van with four young children, I gotta tell you, THAT NEVER HAPPENS! <-- Passionate about that one too? Haha!) Seriously, my kids and I couldn't help it though. The words of this song brought a hush over us all. We worshiped God that night, in my minivan, in complete silence. We didn't have to say or sing a word. We were there in His Presence...and I will never forget it. We couldn't help but to just listen in awe of the lyrics. As I listened for the first time, I had tears falling down onto my cheeks. The song ended and my oldest son, who was probably around the age of 6 or 7 at the time, says to me, 'Wow, THAT is a powerful song Mom. I cried a little when I was listening to it.' Peculiar! (But also totally amazing that he can discern the power of God put to music!)

Or how about the week that my middle son, Titus was in the nursery at our old church. To help time pass the nursery workers were asking for song requests that the group could sing together. One child asked to sing The Itsy Bitsy Spider. Another wanted Mary Had a Little Lamb. Titus though, at the age of 3, he asked for The Great I Am. Peculiar!(And also amazing to me! They are listening...no matter their age...they hear you!) And when the woman who was working in the nursery that day told me that story, she ended by saying, 'You can tell which child is the worship leader's son!' Haha! I absolutely LOVE IT!

Why are my kids peculiar? I'd say it is a double whammy. Yep...that's what I said. A.double.whammy. Lol! You see, my husband is not only the Worship Pastor of our church; I am also one of the lead worshipers. That is not at all a prideful statement. Please please please know that. I am simply saying that I am not up there performing. I am not just trying to be a singer leading songs. I am a worshiper who leads BY worshiping. I am not above. I am not exalted. I am someone who has gone through times where I didn't want to sing...and now I must worship whenever I can. I owe Him that at the very least! I know what God has given me victory over. I worship because I can not forget how faithful He has been to me! I will never forget!

"Praise the Lord. Praise God in His sanctuary; praise Him in His mighty Heavens. Praise Him for His acts of power; praise Him for His surpassing greatness. Praise Him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise Him with the harp and lyre, praise Him with tambourine and dancing, praise Him with the strings and flute, praise Him with the clash of cymbals, praise Him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord."  Psalm 150

Do you have breath? Then you know what to do! You must set the example. The world is watching...begging someone to live what they know. Your kids are learning from you. It matters not so much what you say...but what they see you do. In your home do they see you worship? In your car do they hear you pray and praise? Is worship kept sacred for Sunday mornings? Because we can't handle that type of pressure. Your church can.not.be your only source of worship! When you have gone allllll week without singing praises to your King, who is responsible? When you come empty and leave disappointed, who is to blame? It surely is NOT your church. Do you know that 'worship is a lifestyle...not an event'? Is that what your life proves to be true?

God gave us a pretty HUGE miracle this week in our family. **Disclaimer...The following should not in any way give any one the impression that my husband is anything other than invincible as he believes he is. Haha! (Kind of like when Mario gets a star on any of the Mario video games) It proves only that God's protection is over him...and NOT that he is a weakling. End of disclaimer** ;-)

Wednesday my husband came home from work and I went out to give him a hug. Immediately I could tell by his face that something was wrong. Keep in mind that he has a extremely dangerous job. There isn't a day that goes by that my kids and I don't pray for the safety of he and his dad in the woods. Our team of horses was pulling a log as Eric had instructed them to do. He was beside the cart watching as the log they were pulling t-boned a tree that was laying in their path. Eric, thinking it was just a log that would move out of the way, gave another command for them to continue on through the obstacle. They began pulling the entire tree with them which knocked Eric over. He was then dragged along, with the tree eventually ending up on top of him.

What stopped it? Finally the tree that was dragging him ran into a tree that was still standing. He had a close view of this tree. The sound that it made when it stopped all motion was not only heard but felt. Less than a foot away from getting his head crushed...Eric lay unable to move. He was unsure if anything was broken. He had no function in either of his legs. BUT GOD!

In August of 2011 God gave me this scripture for Eric. "A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; He protects His bones, not one of them will be broken." Psalm 34:19-20 I showed the verse to Eric and he still holds on to that promise.

Eric is sore...but he is blessed! That first night was a rough one for him pain-wise...but he can feel. The feeling in his legs was quickly restored. The nausea from the intense pain left as he slept that Wednesday night. I praise God that He gave me the promise of protection over my husband. I praise God that He reminded him of it when he hobbled into our house that afternoon. And I praise God that He was faithful to that promise. No bones broken. Not even a bruise or scratch.

I laughed as I responded to this question posed by one of the men from our worship team, "When a worship leader falls in the forest and nobody else is around to hear, just what kind of sound does he make?" My answer..."The worship leader still praises God because his head was not smashed between the trees less than a foot from it! =) God is good!"

NO matter your circumstance...you have reason to praise. Set the example for the world around you...and set the bar high! Imitate Christ always...and watch how it changes your view of God's faithfulness. Watch how it strengthens your faith. Let it mold you to be a more noticeable and effective warrior. Heaven will be an eternity all about praising and worshiping our Creator...I suggest you learn to love it now! ;-)

"May my lips overflow with praise, for you teach me Your decrees. May my tongue sing of your Word, for all Your commands are righteous." Psalm 119:171-172 

Sunday Expectations (Day TWENTY SIX-30 Day Challenge)

What a week you have had! A week full of disappointment and heartache that left you in a state of absolute exhaustion. You were so overwhelmed by circumstances in life that you barely even noticed that you hadn't taken much time to be still and meet with God. And you definitely didn't take the time to worship Him. You sent up no praises to reach to the Heart of Heaven...only requests and questions. 'God please help me. Take this burden from me. Why? Explain Yourself God. Why would you allow that? How could you?!'

After a week like that you walk into church empty. You have nothing to give. If you showed with your body language how your heart felt, you would have your head down and your hand out. You aren't looking to give of yourself. You are only looking for your own expectations to be met. The prayers that day seem boring. You can't get into worship because you can think of nothing to be happy about. And the message...that has to speak to you right? *sigh* What a waste of time. You leave more disappointed. You expected more!

What do you expect when you walk in to church on a Sunday morning? Do you expect to get something amazing? Do you expect your pastors to move you? Do you expect the worship team to bring you into the presence of God?

Maybe the more important question is what do you do when your silent expectations are not met? How many people hear about when you walk in and then back out of church on a Sunday morning without being inspired or moved? What is your first reaction? Is it to attack...or is it to uphold your leadership in prayer? Is it to look for reason to complain...or is it to look for a way to help? Is your church more effective because you are an active part of it...or you a wall flower that likes to put off a foul odor when your needs are not met?

" 'Everything is permissible'--but not everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible'--but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others." 1 Corinthians 10:23-24

Look again at the series of questions, just after the italicized section, at the top of this post. Do you see the common denominator? I'm sure you picked up on it already because of your advanced nature, but who is the obvious focus on your Sunday mornings? It appears to me that it is you. Don't you worry though. You are sooo not alone. I'm guilty of this mentality at times too. I've gone to a special speaker or Sunday morning service and left disappointed. And it was not because the preaching was bad...or because the worship was boring. It was my own personal heart issue. I chose to make the focus about me. And I can now CHOOSE to remedy that problem by making it only about God!

What about the days that I walk into church with expectations from God and only God? Well...at least He can handle me. Lol! He is the only One who can speak to me so intimately, that is leaves me speechless. Can you imagine...an author of many words...with out
a.
single.
word? Haha! 

When you walk in, expecting man to fulfill a God sized hole; man will fall short. Every.Time. Man can not compete. Mankind was not created to be your or my source of God or only link to God. They/we can not handle that responsibility. That weight is too heavy for any man or woman to carry.

What would happen instead if you walked in expecting to give to God? What would happen if you spent the service praying for your pastoral team? Like for real praying for God to use them in a mighty way, to touch someone else? What if you listen to the pastor's words and search for what God is saying to you?

There are a lot of Sundays I write down key points from the sermon. Some of them came from the mouth of my pastor. And some of them were specific things God spoke to my heart while the pastor was preaching. Then during the week, during my own personal devotional time, I expand on my notes. A lot of times I write 1,000 words or more on just one verse or one line that the pastor said. I'm always searching for what God is speaking to ME. If I waited only on the pastor or speaker or worship leader...I could leave disappointed. God. does. not. disappoint...(as long as my heart is right!)

As the wife of the Worship Pastor of my church...let me just tell you...ministry is the most fulfilling job we could do, right next to raising our own four children. But we will still fail you. We are far from perfect and we realize it. We have circumstances that most people will never know about. We often have opportunity for offenses. We have felt deep hurt and pain from people we trusted. And yet...we praise. We praise God for His blessings. We praise God for His faithfulness. We praise God for His protection. When we didn't see His blessings, His faithfulness or His protection...it is only because we weren't looking for it in the right places. It is always there!

Here is my challenge to you. If you are dissatisfied with your church...find out why. I'm not saying put your pastoral staff under a microscope. That is not constructive nor healthy. Instead, look inward. What can you do to change your heart toward who you are expecting to be filled by? How can you actively shift your focus from man to God?

"...whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God--even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good, but the good of many, so that they may be saved. Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ."

Maybe you should sit down and talk to your the Lead Pastor. Find out his heart in ministry. Don't assume you know it. And don't make it about your needs and your wants. Make it about his passion in ministry. And then...here is the cool part...pray for that passion! Watch how much more his messages speak to you when you know where his heart is. Watch how easily you enter into worship when you have taken the time to get to know why your leader is so passionate about it. It is not about you. It never was. Change your focus.

When I focus on my pastor's passion for the lost..I couldn't dare leave disappointed. He is speaking to the hearts of the lost. He is challenging the saved. He is touching the broken. He is preaching the heart of Christ in ways that young and old, saved and lost, mature and not so much...can connect to. It is not easy...but it is his called position. Rather than beat him up for what you don't understand...help him become more effective. Help to be the hands and feet of Christ. You are missing out on some amazing blessing by choosing to be a stanky wall flower. ;-) 

Pray this over your Pastor(s) this week.
"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:2

Devote yourself to pray for those bold enough to speak the Gospel! And ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be full of Grace!

Age Smage (Day TWENTY FIVE-30 Day Challenge)

Eric, my husband, got an opportunity to preach in our church this past Sunday. (He did amazing! Although when I tell him he kinda rolls his eyes and says that I 'have' to say that because I am his wife. Lol! For real though, I was so proud of him!!) Having been married to him since 2001...and dating him for quite a few years before that...I've heard all of his stories. Or so I thought. =) One of the stories he told that morning absolutely floored me! 

He recounted a story of when he was a little boy. Somewhere between the ages of 6-8, he had gone to a playground with his father. His dad was talking...and he was off playing with another little boy. The boy had a lot of questions about God. Eric was answering the ones he knew and the ones he didn't, he would run over to his dad, ask the question and run back with the answer. At the end of that conversation Eric prayed and this little boy accepted Jesus. Don't get me wrong, that IS highly impressive at his young age...but what floored me was what Eric said next. "I led this little boy to Christ, and yet I, myself, didn't accept Christ as my Savior until I was TEN!"

God does not make mistakes. He does not work by chance. He knew that Eric was willing. He knew that Eric was bold and unafraid. He equipped Eric (with the help of  his dad) even before Jesus was invited to live in his own heart. 

It is all about being equipped. To be equipped is to have the tools or qualities necessary for performance. When we think of evangelizing, is it scary? When we think of praying with someone to accept Christ, is it terrifying? If you are saying yes you are not alone. I was there at a time in my life. I actually went to a summer seminar to learn to evangelize. And when I got the opportunity to tell my testimony I cried. Not in fear. Not because of nerves. But because this man who literally had NOTHING...was so hungry for our hope. My tears for him were what made him accept Christ that day. God will equip you...I guarantee it takes a lot less than you think. =) You did not have to do the hard part. Our part pales in comparison to what Jesus had to do for that salvation. It's the least we can do!

So, yesterday, morning my oldest son was awake and standing next to my bed, super excited about the trip he was leaving on. How do I know how excited he was? First, it.was.5:13.a.m. Second, he woke up and immediately started doing homework. Haha! He saw the light on in my bedroom, knew that I was already awake and he remembered that he had a couple pages of school work to finish for the days that he was going to miss. Luckily, they weren't math! Whew...they were Bible pages. I can do Bible before six in the morning...math, ugh...not so much. Lol! 

I was going between writing my blog post, helping him understand what he's supposed to be doing and helping define words like 'equipped'. At one point on his paper there was a scale that ranged from 0-10. Above the scale was written, 'Color in the scale from left to right, stopping at the place that shows how equipped you feel to tell people about Jesus.' I was silent. I so badly wanted to peek, but I left him alone after defining the word equipped. I was minding my own business but I was SOOOO CURIOUS to see what he would pick.

Can you see how far he colored?!?! That is a SEVEN!!!!! I'd say he feels pretty confident in his ability to tell people about Jesus. May I remind you that my son is only eight years old!!! I was so impressed. It brought a huge smile to my face as I raised my hand to high five him. I only pray that his confidence only grows as he matures. I pray that he's just like his daddy in this area. Without fear!

I actually would say that Aiden is already on his way to being just like his dad in many ways. For example, when my husband was in school he was a great swimmer. His event was the 200-yard IM (Individual Medley). It was two lengths of the pool for each stroke; butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke and freestyle. Last year was Aiden's first year swimming and one of the swim meets was full of odd events that they didn't normally swim. Aiden, on that day, got to swim the 100-yard IM. It was so cool for me and my husband to get to see. I remember being there...as my husband's then girlfriend...and cheering him on in his own event during our high school days. To do the same for my son was almost surreal. (Incidentally, Aiden won his first competitive IM that day. All of his opponents were disqualified for one reason or another. Haha!)

Another similarity they have, is that Aiden also led someone to Christ at a young age just like his dad. I remember the day. My kids were playing in the dining room. Aiden and Ariel, both a few years younger than they are now, we having a conversation.

"Do you have Jesus in your heart?"-Aiden
"No, what does that mean?"-Ariel

I just stood in the kitchen. Silent. I wanted to see where this conversation would lead. I wanted him to have his own voice of faith. He can't live on mine. He can't live on his dad's. And he understood, that Ariel needed Jesus in her heart too. He explained with child-like faith. And then he asked 'The Question'.

"Do you want to accept Jesus into your heart?"-Aiden
"Yes! I don't want to go to hell!"-Ariel

And so they prayed. My son, led his sister to Christ because he KNEW he could. He has the same power that I do. He has access to the same power that Jesus had. Aiden has a powerful ministry ahead of him. He is a worshiper. He loves easily...and without condition. And he is not afraid. He has seen miracles. He has been a part of the prayers that helped those miracles become reality. I encourage you to live your faith out loud in front of your children...but be sure they have their own. Let them first pray for healing...so that their faith can become stronger. And be willing to learn from them. God has put children in your life for a reason...do not see yourself above. They are simple...and sometimes it cuts through a lot of crap that distorts something you've made complicated.

What about you? Do you ever discount yourself from 'having to witness' because of your age? You think you are too young. Or too old. Or maybe it is your social make-up. You say you are too shy or too abrasive. If, today, you met someone who didn't know Jesus as their Savior...what would you do? Would you feel unworthy to talk and pray with them to receive salvation? Or would you dive right in, knowing that while you might not have the answer to EVERY single question they come up with, the answer to eternal death and suffering is easy. Accept Jesus. Follow His ways. Learn His heart. Worship Him. Flee from sin. Share Him as often as you can!

On a scale of 0-10 where would you rate yourself on how confident you are to share your faith? How can you make an effort to bump that number up? You are equipped. You have Jesus. You have the Holy Spirit. You have the heart of God written in the Words of the Bible. You have family that will pray for your faith to become stronger. I don't care if it is your actual family...or your spiritual family. Ask them to commit to lift you up in prayer in this area specifically! IT is vital. It is valuable.

If ever there was a time when I feel like people should have hung onto Jesus' every word...it was right after He was resurrected. I mean seriously...not one of them should have doubted His true identity and power...but they did. What did Jesus tell them though?

"Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.' " Matthew 28:18-20

The above passage usually titled, 'The Great Commission', is for you. It isn't just for pastors. It isn't just for those with seasoned faith. It isn't just for the young, nor for the old. It isn't just for the disciples of Jesus. It is for every single soul that has accepted Jesus into their heart. That includes you my friend. If you are leaving the job for everyone else....anyone else but yourself...you are missing it. Jesus Himself, was the one speaking those words to us. If He were in front of you now...would it have a greater impact? Would you fight Him on it?

If you have breath...you need to speaking for Jesus. If you have a  heart beat...you need to be loving the lost (and the saved!) If you have sight...you need to be looking for opportunities to be used. If you can hear...listen for the voice of God. He is speaking. He is telling you where your ministry is. He is whispering thoughts of hope that someone needs to cling to. He is reminding you of Scripture so that you can share truth over lies. You are not dead...stop acting like you are. You have hope...share it at all costs. Wouldn't you want it for yourself? What if the person that helped  you to come to know Jesus had been too afraid? Or too old? Or too young? Or too shy? Or too busy? Or too.....

Eternity is a long time! Be a part of changing someone's eternity today! I guarantee you will be blessed...and they will be forever changed! That is a win, win! =)

Comparing Scars (Day TWENTY-30 Day Challenge)

Growing up, I never really did too many things that could've resulted in a scar. I was the wuss cautious one. Being the youngest AND the only girl amidst 3 older brothers...someone had to throw out a caution flag here and there. A couple of years ago I had surgery to correct an ankle injury from 7 years prior. The incision just after the surgery was absolutely disgusting. The resulting scar is a great reminder that I endured much pain to fix what needed corrected.


Their accusations cut deep. The fresh wounds they've sliced open are now right on top of her old scars. She has felt this pain before. The wounds that were healed are now again open. She hadn't ever forgotten how those scars got there. Forgetting didn't even seem possible. Betrayal from within her circle of trust, those wounds always cut deepest. How will she recover and heal this time? What didn't she learn the first time around? 

She thinks for a moment about telling Jesus how unfair and cruel it all seems. She looks up to Heaven ready to file her complaint and she is immediately brought to silence at what she sees. She can't help it. She wants to...but she can't look away. The Hand that is reaching out to start her healing...has been here before. Accusation is what placed those scars in His hands. She compares her wounds to Jesus' and realizes; His required much endurance. She can do this!

The pain that comes before healing is evident, sometimes doesn't seem worth it when you are in it. Just like the pain from my ankle surgery seemed too much to bear for a mother of four (one of which was only 7 months old). Life just seemed impossible. Everything was difficult. Every aspect of my days seemed like a chore. On day 12 I'm sure if given the option...I would have magically reversed the surgery. I would have said that the pain I was experiencing in that moment wasn't worth the final outcome. How angry I would be now had I given up! Because I promise...day 13 was like a light switch was flipped in my recovery process. Day 12 I was miserable and not able to walk without crutches. Day 13...I was hobbling around like a pro. And now...I am so thankful that I endured. My ankle is stronger. My life is easier. And my perspective on difficult times...is always look toward healing. It's probably closer than you think. If you are about to give up...you are ALMOST THERE!

"Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:13-14

He does not attend to his fresh wounds alone this time around. Many warriors intercede at the leading of the Holy Spirit. Accusation. It may have caught him off guard...but it didn't knock him down like it had before. He knows where to go this time. His healing is close. His heart must first work through the initial 'entitlement to anger'. He gets through that step much more quickly than he did before. God is pleased and his son is released from all accusation. God knows. He remembers that all freedom came with a weighty price.

This man also knows full well that to wallow in his circumstance would only be stripping the Cross of its power and provision. When comparing scars with Jesus...He knows which one was cut and wounded more deeply. He bows his head and places his burdens at the foot of the cross. Jesus immediately takes those accusations from him. They are no longer his burden to carry. To some, his rapid healing almost seemed as though he had become calloused by his past. But Jesus knows better. He knows what surrender looks like. He rushes to his side. Jesus places His hand over the wounds of this man. The man can see his own blood through Jesus' scars. And for the first time he truly understands...

"Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:4-5

What is your position? When pain is inflicted on you by someone you trust, what is your response? Those first reactions say a lot about your character. Notice I didn't say your initial thoughts. We battle with our thoughts in those first days following betrayal or malicious slander. That process is necessary for weeding out the evil thoughts from ever becoming something you act on.

What wounds are you still trying to nurse that God is saying..."I long to heal." You keep scraping off your scab because the enemy is causing irritation. Itching. Discomfort. What you don't realize is that you are reopening what was almost a scar of wisdom. Whatever you endure...it will make you stronger. Not calloused. Not hardened...but strong. I declare it in Jesus name!! =)

Work Work Work (Day NINETEEN-30 Day Challenge)

How many hours a day do you spend at work? Take the number and multiply it by the number of days you work in a week...and then how many weeks you work a year. I'm not really asking you to do the math. And I promise, I'm not trying to depress you. Lol! I'm certainly not doing the math, this early in the morning, on my end. (Just for the record...my husband would totally have a number in his head already. No idiot machine (calculator) required. He throws out random numbers that make sense to no one...and comes up with the right answer. Every time. Every. Stinkin. Time!) For me... it is tooooooo early for such things. Speaking of math though. In high school I woke up EARLY to take Calculus, which I understood absolutely NONE of. Oy...who does that!?! *Vanesa shudders*

The point I am trying to make with all the math superstar babble, is that most of us spend a lot of the hours of our day at work. Out of one 24 hour day...many people spend over 1/3 of it at work. That leaves them with 2/3 to do as they please...but sleep has GOT to be almost another 1/3. Do the math...how much is left?!

When you really sit back and think about your day to day...would you say that you invite God to all three 1/3's of each day? Right before you sleep do you talk to God about your previous and upcoming day? Do you thank Him for today and ask for His will for tomorrow? Or do you fall asleep to the needless noise of your television? God longs to hear from you. He would love for you to tell Him all about the day you just had. He saw it...but He loves to see it through your eyes! Invite Him to your night of slumber. Make Him the last thing you think of before you lay that pretty little head down.

Now lets go to the personal/family time portion of your days. Do you make Him a part of those hours? Does He have a leading role...or is He just an extra on the scene? Is He visible but unnoticed. Is He ready and hopeful but in the way and ignored.

God is not meant to be an extra in your life. He is to be the director. The director who allows you to have your own creative inspiration...and who stops you when what your doing isn't working. He sees something different and specific that you can't see on His screen. You are a part of His cast...and He wants to give you opportunity to shine! Invite Him.

He sits down at his desk and let's out a sigh. Not of relief...but of frustration and disgust. He's tried everything he could think of...and he's out.of.options. He wants to help his clients. He wants to further their business and his company...but the outlook is not looking good. One by one he gets rejected. Phone call after phone call...no one is willing to offer help. What now?

Invite Him. Work is such a HUGE part of your day, week, year, life. Why would you think it would be a good idea to leave God out of it?! Or have you really not thought of it? He sees your struggle. He has some stellar ideas for you...just ask and be willing to listen. You would humble yourself before you boss and ask for help...so why not God? Why is He not a huge part of every aspect of your work day?!

This man is well respected and trusted by his clients. At this point, the man who always has something to say...has nothing. He has no idea what he will tell them. He is just sick about it. Then he feels the urgency to pray. God says..."Make one last phone call." He argues that he has already tried that. God says, "Do you trust me?" The man reaches for the phone and prays...'God give me favor so that I might speak of your faithfulness in my workplace.'

How much different would your days be if you invited God...like really asked Him to be IN each meeting, phone conversation, presentation and appointment you had. Every. Single. One! How much would your company flourish? What is stopping you? The answer is simple. The enemy is distracting and frustrating you...and you are following his scheme like a puppy follows anything that moves. Lol!

Do you have an impossible situation that you have no idea how to handle? You know, the type of scenario where no matter what you can come up with, no one wins. Let me give you a few great reasons to invite Him to help......

1. "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,' declares The Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

2. "Now to Him who is able to to immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

If you can't come up with an answer...don't doubt that God can. His thoughts are not yours. They are nothing like them. They are far above and way outside of the box you are capable of thinking in. And if you don't ask...how are you ever going to get the 'immeasurably more' than He promises?! It doesn't make sense to not ask does it? It surely isn't the smartest decision you have made...to suffer on your own and be okay with it. Ask. For the sake of your sanity. For the moving forward with your business and for the sake of your clients...invite God to be the head of it. And encourage your employees to do the same.

He sits back and sighs. This time with a smile on his face and a tear in his eye. God blessed him. He had left God out of the entire process...and God still chose to bless Him the moment he asked. His faith gained strength that day. His business would never be the same. And his trust in God...it had to be shared! He picked up the phone to call his client...with an amazing testimony. It all became reality because his heart was soft, his intention was pure and he was willing to extend...a simple invitation.

A Moment with Max (Day FIFTEEN-30 Day Challenge)

Have you ever found a person who loves you enough to passionately and fervently pray for abundant blessings for you? To pray fervently...what does that look like? What does it even mean? Don't worry...I looked it up for you. (Thanks goodness for dictionary apps! Lol!) To pray fervently is to pray with zeal. And to pray with zeal is to pray with "enthusiastic devotion to a cause or goal and to be tirelessly diligent in its advancing." Do you have a friend like that? Or a group of friends? A family? A spouse? Or maybe the better question...

Are YOU a person with a prayer life like that? Do you give God your requests? Do you tell Him about your day? Do you praise Him with enthusiasm because of what you've been through? Do you pray for blessings...like for real blessings...on those who are in your life? You can't live solely off the prayers of those around you...but combine your fervent prayers with one another's. Pray in unity. Pray with passion. Pray with compassion. Pray blessings on those easy to love AND on those who seem to be going out of their way to make it impossible. 

"Love must.be.sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another ABOVE yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving The Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, FAITHFUL in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse." Romans 12:9-14 (emphasis added by yours truly)

Those verses above have so many key words that I see as vital to living a life that looks like Christ is actively IN it. I would love for you to get out your favorite Bible right now and underline or circle anything I have italicized. But just as I wrote about the other day...knowing, is not enough. It never has been. I imagine it is almost frustrating to God. He finely gets through to us. He gives us divine revelation...and we ignore. He inspires words that have the ability to set us free...and we stay devastated in our self-constructed prison of comfort. Wait a minute. Hold.the.phone. When was prison ever designed to be about comfort?! Prison is punishment. And we are freed from the things that once held us captive, in Jesus Name! So WHY STAY THERE?

How many times have you read this passage of the Bible? How many times have you let it go in and not committed and not commanded that it change you?! How many times will it take? I pray that THIS is the time when you refuse to stay in the prison of comfort that leaves you less than God desires for you to be. Every time you've read it before was planting that seed that got ripped out by the enemy in a fleeting thought. Or it got choked out by the weeds that he immediately planted. I do not believe in coincidence. I believe that all things are done with intent. Intentionally commit, this day, to reading these verses until you see yourself actively LIVING THEM!

Let's go back now, to finding out what a 'for real' blessing is. What constitutes a blessing? They can come in so many sizes and forms, that I couldn't possibly give you a list. What I can tell you...and what I absolutely LOVE...is that blessings from God are incredibly specific. There have been times when Go-Gurt and a bag of apples brought me to tears because it was a timely blessing from God. Or socks, underwear and shoes. You see those things as a necessity maybe. You may say that God simply took care of my children's 'needs'. That is your perspective. That is your choice. But I will tell you that my kids already had many pairs of socks, shoes and underwear. But they didn't have new. I did not say they needed new...but I wanted them to have new. So I simply told God. I did not beg. I did not pray for God to provide...but He did. Blessed.

I just spent two days being blessed by God in many forms. Whether it was a simple cup of hot coffee or a slice of cheesecake...I knew that these were the blessings that had been prayed for and prophesied. You see I received a text a few weeks ago that proclaimed that God had abundant blessings coming my way. I waited with anticipation. Not anxious...but instead excited to see what God had in store. What would He choose this time?

God kept blessing. Through words of encouragement. Through songs of worship that spoke straight to my circumstance. Through snacks and meals. Each one leaving me more grateful than the one before. And then. Then, He chose a blessing that still leaves me in tears when I think of it. It was evident that God had a plan yesterday morning. It was an incredibly specific blessing that left me almost speechless....but definitely in AWE OF MY GOD!

Yesterday when I woke to write; I was so sleepy. I had laid my head down less than five hours before my alarm dared wake me up. My iPad screen was sooo SOOOOOO bright in the absolute darkness of my hotel room. (It was like trying to open my eyes up really wide while going through a brightly lit tunnel late at night. If you are picturing that in your head right now...you should be laughing. It really is one of the funniest things to me!) That is what I looked like when I began yesterday's post. I couldn't even write for several minutes because I had to adjust. I made coffee...and now I was already starting behind. Gahhh! 

I wrote until it was my turn for the shower. After I was all fancied up and beautified for the day...it was time to pack up and leave for breakfast. We decided to go to the hotel's restaurant so that I could finish my writing while I still had access to wifi. Then we saw the line for breakfast. Ugh. 

Change in plans. 

We went back to the room so I could quickly finish...and hit publish. Ahhh done! We loaded up and headed down the street to the parking garage to drop off our luggage. There was a small dispute as to which way we should go from the garage. Go back the way we came and are more familiar with in this city we don't KNOW, or go a different way that appeared like it could be right. 

We chose the more familiar path.

That path would lead us right by a Tim Horton's so we could hopefully get some breakfast and coffee! But we later found out we weren't the only ones with that idea. As we are walking towards this line of women that was reaching out past the sidewalk and to the edge of the street...I noticed someone walking towards the us. He was alone and there was something familiar about Him. The three ladies that were walking with me across this bridge all had their own idea about this man. One of the girls thought that possibly this was a state senator walking towards us because he was dressed in a blazer on a Saturday morning. Another also noticed his blazer and his shoes...he had nice shoes she thought to herself. The third was saying in her head...'Vanesa why are you walking up to that man. Stop. What are you thinking?!'

But I knew exactly who this man was who was approaching us. This man will never know that his desire for a 'cup of Timmy's'...was God's fulfillment of abundant blessings to me. I walked over to him like a crazy stalker and said, "You are Max Lucado." He responded, "Yes I am."

Do you see how many things had to go just as they did for that moment to happen? The timing had to be just as it was.
Had we eaten in the hotel...I would not have met him.
Had we taken the other route to the convention center...I would not have met him.
Had he not wanted a cup of Tim Horton's coffee...I would not have met him.
Had there not been a massive line of women that prevented him from that coffee...I would not have met him. (Thank you...every single caffeine obsessed woman who prevented him from his cup of Timmy's. SERIOUSLY...thank YOU!!)
I am in puddles (of tears) at how far God went out of His way to show me that He loves me. So much that He blessed me in a way sooo specific...I can't help but sit in awe.

Max was born into this world just as we were. His choice to follow Christ boldly and confidently, to where ever God leads, is what has gotten him where he is. God has blessed Max abundantly in his ability to connect with people with his style of writing. God requires much of him because of all that He has entrusted within the heart of Max. 

I don't see Max as an unreal icon. I don't place him on a pedestal or shrine. I don't make him out to be an idol that I worship. I was not star struck because of his accomplishments. 

I WAS in awe of my God. I WAS thankful because...

I was there in January of 2001, when I sat alone on a plane, terrified of what God was going to require of me. I wanted God's will for my life. I knew I had to cling to His will. But I had no idea what it was going to look like. I had to fight to want to know and follow that will. I had to be willing to pray...'God I'm ready to know. I'm scared...but I'm ready. I will follow you where ever you lead and flee from whatever you steer me away from.' 

I was there when I first opened the cover of devotional about God's love...written by Max Lucado.

I was there when my tears fell at the revelations God was placing over lies I'd believed for years.

I was there when my fear of God's will, transitioned to faith, in the living room of my aunt's house in Colorado Springs.

I was there when I had the conversation that I had once been terrified of. The conversation that, for the first time proved to me, that I really would do anything required...to be right smack in the middle of God's will.

I was there when God gave me back the desires of my heart because of my obedience during that time of tremendous growth, in doing the devotional written by this man of God Max. 

I was there in December of 2001, when I held my lifeless 11 week old son in my my hand.

I was there when I faced disappointment after disappointment and needed to know that I KNEW God loved me even when I couldn't feel it.

This devotional, Embraced by God, was a life changer. Not only for me...but for my husband. He gave up a girlfriend in fear for that month back in 2001...and got back a wife with a heart seeking God's character. This devotional was the transition in my passion to write. I finally had purpose to write. Eternal purpose. I don't think I fully understand the will and the path that God has set before me. But I welcome it. I walk in it by faith. I know that God sees where I am and where I end up...and I trust His heart to guide mine. 

I pray this post somehow reaches the desk of Pastor Max Lucado. And when it does...
- I want you to know, Pastor Lucado, that your time with me was God ordained...and such an abundant blessing to me. I was speechless then...but I am clearly not at all now. If there was ever any one person I would want to thank in this world, and wouldn't know how to...it would be you Max Lucado. I was just one of the hearts that you were fighting for when you tried countless times to enter into this world an author. And once you did...the true Author of your words was intensely evident! Thank you for your continued obedience to write what the heart of God speaks. I am forever changed because God chose you to follow Him and you accepted. I will say just as you said to me on that bridge in Rochester, NY...'Keep writing!' This world craves audacious faith!

WOF (Day FOURTEEN-30 Day Challenge)

Today's title has nothing to do with yesterday's 'loving like a dog' post. WOF is not woof spelled wrong. Lol! WOF stands for Women of Faith. It refers to a group of conferences where women...and almost entirely only women...gather to be challenged, changed and encouraged by some of the best women speakers of this day and time.

Yesterday was a bit of a frantic day for me. I woke up and starting writing. I'd been awake for probably 1/2 hour of my scheduled 1 1/2 hours set aside to write. I was writing and I felt God change my mind. His desire was for me to write about love yesterday. So I started over...wrote quickly before my kids were to wake up for school. I got almost done and the race began with the sound of that first alarm. 

Showers, clothes, breakfast, forgotten homework, lunches, shoes, hair and out the door. Next was the chauffeur services I provide. I dropped my older kids off at their school and dropped my middle son off at his PreK class. Then I parked my van and finished writing. I hit Publish and raced home. The race continued until my husband was almost literally pushing me out the door so I wouldn't be late to catch my ride with my church peeps. I arrive at my church (an hour EARLY mind you) and the first woman I talk to asks me..."You're not going to lick us today are you?" (In reference to yesterday's dog lover post!) Bahahaha! Shari that was just what I needed to start my weekend of laughter and uplifting.

Oh how blessed I am to be a woman of faith. To be just one name. One story. One testimony of God's faithfulness in this sea of women. I was surrounded...completely surrounded by women of faith. Many of the ones that surrounded me are ones that I covet the prayers of. Their faithful prayers are what help get me through the scheme of the enemy some days. Their prayers and accountability are what helps me to wake up each morning to write. And their generosity and love are what allowed me to come to this conference! If you are not currently surrounded by women of such faith and love...you are missing out. I'm sooooo thankful for my army of warriors and I would not trade my position as a part of them for anything. Not. Even. Chocolate. ;-)

Today I'm going to give you my favorite highlights from last nights Women of Faith conference. We were only there for a few hours...but God. He was there. He was moving. He was speaking. And He.Was.Good! 

We began last night with worship. One of the first songs we sang was 'Our God'. I LOVE that song. I love to sing those words. 'Out of the ashes we rise'. Picture yourself, for just a moment, without Christ. Many of you lived many years knowing full well you needed Him...but still you refused. Your life was without eternal purpose or gain. You were dead. Some of you knew the key to purpose and life...and you still chose to cremate yourselves. 

What happened when you asked Christ into your heart and asked Him to be your Lord and Your King? You did not appear before Him still dead. You were not a pile of soot and ashes. You weren't even covered in them. You became the beautiful bride of Christ. Spotless. Blameless. That sinful godless past...forgotten. You rose out of those ashes because our God promised to restore what had been stolen. He saved us immediately from death and promised us life! 

If you still carry your ashes around...know that it is YOU that is hanging on to them. If you look in the mirror and see the soot of your past staring back at you...the enemy's scheme is working. You are forgiven and they are forgotten. It truly is as simple as that. And anyone that tries to throw those ashes back in your face will, in turn, get covered in them. God does not live in the past. He couldn't and He wouldn't. 

After worship we listened to a Christian comedian. We laughed...some of us until we cried. (Ahem...Little Debbie) He started off by saying, "Hello my name is Ken Davis and I'm the husband of a woman of faith." Loved that! I love that my husband can speak those words of me. There was a time in our first years of marriage that I was a woman with faith but not always a woman of faith. I would choose when I wanted to pull the faith card and when I wanted to wallow in my circumstance. 

One of my favorite parts of Ken's talk last night was when he got his serious face on. He talked about our overall choice of dealing what life throws at us. We choose. We can either can get grumpy and angry...or...we can laugh! I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. What can we do to become people that can laugh at the enemy's feeble attempts to tear us down or embarrass us? We know...we have access to THE Foundation of joy. Christ gave us a foundation that can radiate pure joy...no matter what. Himself. If you are feeling weak and less than joy-filled...are you forgetting what is the base of your foundation? "The joy of the Lord is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10   And in the words of Ken Davis..."Joy is standing on a platform of faith so solid that nothing or no one can shake it." 

Sheila Walsh was up next and wow. She was honest and real. God's strength was shown perfect through her weakest times of life. She started off as a powerhouse...and ended the same. She was reading a familiar passage in Mark 4:35-40. You probably know the story well. It is when Jesus falls asleep on a boat that He asked His followers to get on. So Sheila asked..."When a storm hits you, out of the blue, and you weren't expecting it...do you know the firm foundation on which you stand? And when that storm hits you...how does it change your view of God? The cross gives us permission to be transparent. The cross WAS...only because we could not do it alone. We were never created to. We don't have to pretend to have it together. We can be transparent and real. You aren't fooling everyone. Storms show what you actually believe...not what you want to." (That section is slightly paraphrased only because my fingers couldn't keep up. Lol.)

I loved that Sheila highlighted a couple of key words in verse 35 of that passage in Mark chapter 4. "When evening came, Jesus said to His disciples, 'Let's go over to the other side of the lake.'" Her response to Jesus' words..."He didn't say lets go to the middle and drown. Hahaha. They had seen him heal and do many miraculous things...but they'd never experienced a storm. Did Jesus do storms?"

"If Jesus brought you to it...He will bring you through it." I have no idea who coined that phrase...but oh how true it is. We follow God's voice and when the first challenge arises...we choose to doubt in what we first heard from God. "I am sure that the One who began a good work in you will carry it on until it is completed." Philippians 1:6

And my last favorite quote from Sheila, "God is raising up an army of women who dare to believe that God will use them just as they are. Jesus knows your whole story and He loves you! Be willing to be real. To share who you really are under the mask. Sometimes God takes you to prison to set you free. Sometimes the most precious gifts come in packages that make your hands bleed when you open them. God wants you to praise Him in the storm...praise Him when you don't see the break in the clouds yet on the horizon. You are not identified only with your roles. You are not...fill in the blank...so and so's mom, Joe Schmoe's wife, etc....

You are a daughter of the King of kings and nothing and no one can touch that! On the day that you see Jesus face to face...whatever you are going through...it WILL be worth it! I promise."

Highlights from Mrs. Holly Wagner "God could have had you born at anytime in history...and He chose now. Are you willing to follow through with the assignment He's given you? We aren't supposed to run from the rubble. We are supposed to step into it and do what we can to make the community livable again. In this world of devastation...it can be the church's finest hour."

And finally...Third Day.

 I. Loved. Them! The lead singer won us over quickly when he started by saying..."We at Third Day...we all love us some women. (We screamed.) We are all married to one. We were born to one. Our daughters will grow to be...women of faith." 

For me personally it was lovely to worship with a man who looked more like Jesus than my husband. ;-) I loved their concert. I loved their words. But I love more that no matter where I am...and who is on stage...there is not anyone I'd rather worship beside than my own husband. (All over the world right now I should hear a resounding 'Awww'. Lol!)

Here is the most powerful message I took from Mac Powell last night. Even if you aren't feeling powerful as a woman of faith.  Even if you can't tell if our prayers are making a difference in the now. Do not give up. The power of a praying wife. A praying mother. A praying friend has been proven its success over and over and over again. Keep praying you powerhouses of prayer! Your answers are in the son who cried out to Jesus instead of taking his life. It's the husband or wife who commits to the other when they don't deserve it. It's the friend who rejects your invitation over and over but finally gives in and meets Jesus. Every time. Every rejection. Was it now worth it?!?!

Rise up women of faith. Day two is about to begin! :-)

Powerful Conversations (Day SEVEN-30 Day Challenge)

Last night I sat down to begin today’s post…in hopes that I could maybe just maybe *whispers* sleep in a bit. I was really excited at the chance to write and not have to set my alarm…but I was feeling a bit blank. =/ At my husband’s suggestion…I left at 9pm to be alone with my writing (and some coffee!) Seriously, his suggestion. He was watching Duck Dynasty and I kept getting distracted by it. My kids were in the living room watching a cartoon movie and ‘camping out’. I offered for Eric, my husband, to turn the TV off and support my writing with his silence (kind of like he does every morning when my alarm goes off. Ha-ha!…just sayin.) He laughed and said that I should go into town with my computer and get some coffee. I was gone faster than he could retract his suggestion. Lol!
I got myself allllll situated. I was in the very back of the restaurant where there were no customers. I got my computer plugged in and connected to Wi-Fi. Got me some coffee doctored up so it no longer resembles ‘actual’ ‘coffee’. And, wait, what is that? Bottom right of the picture above. Oh yeah…got me some heated wild berry pie…a-la-mode. Mmm…mmm…mmm! Okay…now it was time to write.

I started one post…and I just wasn’t feeling it. Started another…again it wasn’t flowing. A third. Same feeling. Ugh! I am trying to get ahead of the game. Finally I am alone with my thoughts and it is like an abandoned warehouse up there in the land of V. I’m slightly annoyed…but not too much because, after all, I am out having pie and coffee.

I suddenly had an urge to text a dear friend of mine. I had seen her over the summer and we connected on a deep spiritual level that we never had before. We cried together as we spoke about God’s goodness and our own weakness. I wanted to keep in touch, but I just hadn’t. I decided last night would be an excellent night to ‘randomly’ text her and ask how I could pray for her. Shortly after I pressed send, I got my response. “Who is this, and how did you know I needed prayer?” I laughed a bit and told her it was her favorite Vanesa in the whole world. She. was. still. clueless. Ouch! ;-) Lol! I was starting to wonder if she had given me the wrong number over the summer.

We finally got it all worked out…and she told me what she needed prayer for. You have an opportunity to pray for her as well. You may know her. You may not. God does not require you to know the who or what. He only requires prayers of faith. She is having testing this coming week and she is scared. The possible diagnosis is not at all a good one! She covets the prayers of the righteous. She needs prayers of those who love her without the promise of ever knowing who she is. I will pass on your love. I promise! =)

As I read her texts, I began to smile. There was a time in my life when I would have been devastated by her news. There was a time when I would have accepted defeat for her. There was a time when I would  have hung my head in sorrow. But God. He has been preparing me over the first 32 years of my life. He has given me victory over everything that dared try to attack my body. Migraines that lasted 13-15 days out of a month…healed in Jesus name. Post partum depression that whispered the call of death…healed in Jesus name. A heart, bruised and broken, by the devastating loss of babies that I had already learned to love…healed in Jesus name!

My smile was not sinister. It was not cocky. It was not uncompassionate nor trying to minimize her situation. It was confident. I KNOW I serve a God that still heals. I’ve not only experienced it for myself…I’ve seen it. I’ve been one of the warriors praying for healing in someone else. I know that we have access to the power of the immeasurably more that Paul speaks of in Ephesians 3:20. I know the One who said, “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in Me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in My name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask Me for anything in My name, and I will do it.” (John 14:12-14)

Those words are from the lips of Jesus Himself. They are not cocky. They exude confidence in His Father. They don’t leave room for exceptions. They ask us to believe that He is speaking truth. To have faith in His truth. And to ask anything in His name. Any. Thing. I’m not putting expectations on Jesus that He didn’t already speak forth. I’m just choosing to put my faith in those words. In those verses above it does not say ‘may do’, ‘might do’, or ‘we’ll see’…which I’m told always means no without saying no. Ha-ha! I take it as literal. Will do means will do. Ask me for anything…means do just that. Even greater things than these…can be a dreamer’s dream or an exciting reality. Choose what you believe. Don’t let your head choose. Let your heart choose. If Christ resides there…He will trump your thoughts any day!

Have you ever been afraid to pray? Have you ever thought your attempt wasn’t good enough? Have you ever known that God was asking you to pray…and yet your anxiety about not sounding ‘holy’ enough kept you silent? Yep…me too! I used to live like that. I used to be ashamed of how pathetic I sounded. So what happened? How did I conquer my fear of ridicule?

Practice. Some of my most powerful time spent in prayer and worship is done while I’m driving alone in my vehicle. I talk/sing loud and proud. I even scream if I have to. Whatever. it. takes. to get my head out of the way, of speaking from my heart to God’s. I want sincerity to be evident. I want passion to be visible. I want truth to cover any lies I’ve been believing.

Another way I conquered my fear. I faced it. I stared it down. I told the enemy that he was no longer invited to my intimate time with my King. I scream prayed him right out of my vehicle. I took back the reigns that I had allowed the enemy to steer for a short time. They belong in the capable hands of Christ…not in the wicked scheme of the enemy. Prayer was to become a huge part of who I am in Christ! God knew I needed to know how to fight like a daughter of the King. Gloves are on…and my target is slithery and sneaky. I will not be silenced any more!
My middle son, Titus,   has been struggling with prayer lately. He is shy when asked to pray. He thinks it is more difficult than it is. I fail some days to encourage him gently…because I just want him to try. I get upset that he can’t think of anything to thank or ask God for. He just resorts to tears. I’m learning how to handle his fragile faith. I want it to explode with confidence. I want him to know the faith he is called to have as a child. I would love for you to pray for him too!!!! (And pray for my friend Sandy while you are at it!)

I remind Titus often that prayer is simply…us talking to God. It is not fancy. God does not require extravagance. He is unimpressed with religious words. He is Creator. You can not beat that power or impressiveness. Stop trying. Look at how He created each living thing. Unique and yet requiring the same simple, basic needs. Nourishment, air, water, sun. You replicate that…and then you can strive to fancy up your prayers. Until then…just talk. Thank. Praise. Request. Worship.

If you are scared to pray in front of others, please read carefully. This is a scheme of the enemy to try to render you powerless. To keep you silent as the powers of darkness war for you and those you love. When you pray…you access the power of God in your life. You stand in the gap for your friends and family. You willingly put yourself on the front line in the fight. It leaves you feeling fulfilled and useful. It leaves you feeling empowered and thankful. It is yours for the taking. God wants to hear from you all day long. He loves your voice. He wants to hear your heart in words. He knows them…but do you? Do you know how loved you are? Do you know how feisty you can get? Do you know what lies you’ve accepted as truth?

Speak up. Your time is now. If God brought you someone, today, who was lost and searching for truth…would you pray them into eternity? Could you? You have the tools. You have always had them. The Bible, Jesus in your heart, a voice, and a brain. Use them wisely. Just use them. That person who is in front of you. That person who is lost and facing forever torment. They could care less how fancy you sound. They just want to find someone who loves what they say they love. Who lives what they claim. And who looks for opportunity to be the hands and feet of Christ.

Practice. You will gain confidence with practice. And when you see the hand of God move in your life, or the life of someone you have prayed for, that practice will. bring. confidence. It will bring praise. It will bring joy and laughter. It will bring peace. It will bring thankfulness. It will bring passion to do it as often as you get the chance. I’m praying for your success, my friend. I have confidence that God will supply you with exactly what you need…and then immeasurably more than you can imagine!

Suggest Hope

Good morning! And what a beautiful morning it is here in northwestern Pennsylvania! It's been a little chilly lately, but the sun is shining and it is already warming up. Don't get me wrong. I am a LOVER of everything fall! The temperature. The smell. The activities. The food. The pumpkin-a-latte loveliness. But...........it. is. JULY! *Rant over...for now*

Most of the year our church has a Saturday night service as well as Sunday morning. My husband is the Worship Pastor and I am also a member of the worship team...which means that we get to attend both services! :-) The message a while back on a  Saturday night, spoke a couple of really power-filled things straight to my heart...and I can't wait to share one of them with you today!! I've literally typed this post three times. Once on my phone. Don't get me started on how annoying that was! Once on my iPad...almost as equally annoying. And once on my computer. Fourth time is a charm? We shall see......

First, this is my challenge to you. Get your Bible out. *Vanesa taps fingers on table and hums Jeapordy theme song while she waits for you get your Bible* No matter how annoyed or impatient you are at my request it will help my post make sense!! Pretty please...*insert puppy dog eyes*

Whew...now open to Acts 27 and read verses 9-44!! The reason I say use your own Bible...is because that way you can underline the verses that stick out at you. You can also write beside them what God speaks to you today. It is for your benefit at a later date when you are struggling. The words underlined and written will stand out...and you will remember how God used them for your good! =)

For those of you honestly too busy, rushed, or ahem...lazy to get your Bible...here you go...

Acts 27: "⁹ Much time had been lost, and sailing had already become dangerous because by now it was after the Day of Atonement. So Paul warned them, ¹⁰ “Men, I can see that our voyage is going to be disastrous and bring great loss to ship and cargo, and to our own lives also.” ¹¹ But the centurion, instead of listening to what Paul said, followed the advice of the pilot and of the owner of the ship. ¹² Since the harbor was unsuitable to winter in, the majority decided that we should sail on, hoping to reach Phoenix and winter there. This was a harbor in Crete, facing both southwest and northwest.

The Storm

¹³ When a gentle south wind began to blow, they saw their opportunity; so they weighed anchor and sailed along the shore of Crete. ¹⁴ Before very long, a wind of hurricane force, called the Northeaster, swept down from the island. ¹⁵ The ship was caught by the storm and could not head into the wind; so we gave way to it and were driven along. ¹⁶ As we passed to the lee of a small island called Cauda, we were hardly able to make the lifeboat secure, ¹⁷ so the men hoisted it aboard. Then they passed ropes under the ship itself to hold it together. Because they were afraid they would run aground on the sandbars of Syrtis, they lowered the sea anchor^[b] and let the ship be driven along. ¹⁸ We took such a violent battering from the storm that the next day they began to throw the cargo overboard. ¹⁹ On the third day, they threw the ship’s tackle overboard with their own hands. ²⁰ When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm continued raging, we finally gave up all hope of being saved.
²¹ After they had gone a long time without food, Paul stood up before them and said: “Men, you should have taken my advice not to sail from Crete; then you would have spared yourselves this damage and loss. ²² But now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not one of you will be lost; only the ship will be destroyed. ²³ Last night an angel of the God to whom I belong and whom I serve stood beside me ²⁴ and said, ‘Do not be afraid, Paul. You must stand trial before Caesar; and God has graciously given you the lives of all who sail with you.’ ²⁵ So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me. ²⁶ Nevertheless, we must run aground on some island.

The Shipwreck

²⁷ On the fourteenth night we were still being driven across the Adriatic^[c] Sea, when about midnight the sailors sensed they were approaching land. ²⁸ They took soundings and found that the water was a hundred and twenty feet^[d] deep. A short time later they took soundings again and found it was ninety feet^[e] deep. ²⁹ Fearing that we would be dashed against the rocks, they dropped four anchors from the stern and prayed for daylight. ³⁰ In an attempt to escape from the ship, the sailors let the lifeboat down into the sea, pretending they were going to lower some anchors from the bow. ³¹ Then Paul said to the centurion and the soldiers, “Unless these men stay with the ship, you cannot be saved.” ³² So the soldiers cut the ropes that held the lifeboat and let it drift away.
³³ Just before dawn Paul urged them all to eat. “For the last fourteen days,” he said, “you have been in constant suspense and have gone without food—you haven’t eaten anything. ³⁴ Now I urge you to take some food. You need it to survive. Not one of you will lose a single hair from his head.” ³⁵ After he said this, he took some bread and gave thanks to God in front of them all. Then he broke it and began to eat. ³⁶ They were all encouraged and ate some food themselves. ³⁷ Altogether there were 276 of us on board. ³⁸ When they had eaten as much as they wanted, they lightened the ship by throwing the grain into the sea.
³⁹ When daylight came, they did not recognize the land, but they saw a bay with a sandy beach, where they decided to run the ship aground if they could. ⁴⁰ Cutting loose the anchors, they left them in the sea and at the same time untied the ropes that held the rudders. Then they hoisted the foresail to the wind and made for the beach. ⁴¹ But the ship struck a sandbar and ran aground. The bow stuck fast and would not move, and the stern was broken to pieces by the pounding of the surf.
⁴² The soldiers planned to kill the prisoners to prevent any of them from swimming away and escaping. ⁴³ But the centurion wanted to spare Paul’s life and kept them from carrying out their plan. He ordered those who could swim to jump overboard first and get to land. ⁴⁴ The rest were to get there on planks or on other pieces of the ship. In this way everyone reached land safely."




I highlighted and underlined the verses that I wanted to bring your attention to. The men on the ship had given up hope. They did not see any way out of this situation they found themselves in. So what did Paul do. He suggested hope. He was the first to give them a thought of life over the death they were sure they were facing.

Let's think about this first suggestion of hope. Had they not believed...what would the outcome have been? Had Paul, being a prisoner of these men, been too terrified to speak up...oh how different this story would be. But Paul boldly spoke. And the soldiers hesitantly listened.

Think back on the course of your life for a moment. Has anyone ever been that first suggestion of hope to you? Whether you believed it at first or not...can you recognize that they boldly spoke what neither of you could actually see? Let me give you two of my life examples.



MY first suggestion of hope came after my second pregnancy, which just like my first, ended in a disappointing miscarriage. The difference though, was that I had had a lot more time to fall in love with baby #2. I was 16 weeks along when my hopeful attitude slapped me in face and into another state of shock, disbelief and soon to be depression. I held him. Born in my bathroom on December 20th of 2001, Isaiah Ethan fit into the palm of my hand. His arms and legs were like spaghetti. His tiny lifeless body I was sure would haunt me forever. 

Months went by. I was still unable to think of the events of that traumatic night with out shedding tears. One day I was with a couple of friends at their yard sale. Vicki walked up to me and spoke straight to where I was broken. She said that she was praying for me and God told her that I would have a child. I would carry the child to full term...and the baby would be healthy.

THAT, was my suggestion of hope. I no longer had to wonder. I no longer had to doubt. I just had to wait for God to bless me with this child I had now been promised. It was one month shy of 3 years after that conversation that God fulfilled that promise to me. My healthy baby boy was born in May of 2005...and all I had to do was believe.



MY second suggestion of hope came after I had my fourth child. (I only KNEW of the promise of one...but out of my seven pregnancies...I have gained four AWESOME kids...and three are in Heaven awaiting our arrival!!) After I had my final baby I was diagnosed with Post Partum Depression (PPD). It made absolutely no sense in the natural. Baby #4, Levi, was a very happy baby. The transition to bring him home was super smooth. And it was fall...my favorite season! BUT, in the supernatural it made complete sense. Knowing what I know now....it was an absolutely VITAL part of molding me to the woman I am today.

So, shortly after my diagnosis, God began telling me to talk to specific women. He would say, "Tell her what you are going through, she has something for you." So I did. Six women. Each with their own specific truth for me. Each one, one step in my road to healing. One of them though...was my suggestion of hope.

Bekah sat with me in my living room..while my kids raced around...and listened gently and softly spoke when appropriate. I told her all of it..."I feel like a horrible mother, I've had thoughts of hurting myself, I scream at these children that I prayed for, I flip out, I stay silent for days, I distance myself from everyone I love"...and what is her response?

"I see so much hope for you."

Confusion set in. I didn't see it. If I didn't know and love her...I would say that it was a cruel joke. So she went on to explain. "When you come out of this victorious...you are going to have a powerful ministry that will be set on fire. You will reach out to women who are going through similar circumstances and you will be their voice of hope. God will use you in a mighty way!"

I didn't feel it. I didn't see it. But I CHOSE to believe it. I had to. My alternative...was death. A few weeks later the opportunity would present itself. Death knocked at my depressed heart...and I fought for my life. Had I NOT spoken to those women...what would my outcome have been when the enemy whispered for me to take my own life? If I had not chosen to believe in the hope I neither felt nor saw....where would I be today?



Who has been that voice of hope for you? Have you ever told them? Maybe it is exactly what they need to hear today. Write it down. Mail it to them. Text them. Call. Email....whatever it takes. Let them know the impact that their suggestion of hope had on you. And be willing to suggest hope to the hurting people you know/see. They might be simple words to you....but to the searching heart....it is LIFE!