It is now the year 2004. We were still a bit scared to try to have a baby, but we decided maybe it was time. Afterall, it had been over 2 years since our night in the Emergency Room. I had made it through the first year successfully without any cancerous tumor forming. I made it through the next, with days of sadness and anger. Finally, we were semi-trying to have another baby. Still very cautious. Still very doubtful that it would happen. But, that promise gave us hope.
A few months went by. Then a few more. No positive tests. When had gone from conceiving quickly, to not able. Each month marked another disappointment. Each month just a bit more bitter. We soon found out that my husband's grandmother was not given much more time to live. Our lives got put on hold. The thoughts of having a baby were now not constantly on our minds. Our energy was focused on being there to see her. Being there to surround her with family.
One day my husband got a call from his mother. If wanted to talk to her...we had better come quickly. We all sat on her floor, surrounding her bed...waiting to hear each word that she spoke. Some of them didn't make much sense. Some of them made us cry. But there were two that I will not forget. She awoke and just like every other time she woke...we asked if she wanted us to get her anything. At this point, she wasn't eating or drinking anything. So her response was always 'No'. This one time however, she said yes. We waited, wanting to do anything we could for her. When we asked what she wanted. She responded..."More grandchildren."
We all just kind of laughed. It was just like her. She was waiting for more great-grandchildren. Then she said that someone in the room was pregnant. We all laughed again, pointing the finger to everyone else. No one fessed up to it. But she insisted.
A few days later was her funeral. My mother-in-law was the rock that everyone leaned on at the passing of her mother. God gave her a super-natural strength that day. That night my husband and I were walking through the store and all of a sudden he got a very thoughtful, puzzled look on his face. I asked him what was wrong..and he said.."You are late." I have heard those words so many times in our years together. (I am a late person by nature. And he...is ALWAYS early!) But this time, they were packed with a whole new meaning. I knew exactly what he meant. I had no idea. Who had time to think about such things when faced with such tragedy. And just then...the evening after his grandmother's funeral...we found out it was us she was talking about. We were going to have another baby.
What now? How long do we wait to tell people? We have been there..done that...and been burned. Twice. How long do we wait to fall in love again?
We stood on the side of caution this time. Not going crazy with the amount of people we told. Asking immediate family (and maybe a best friend) to pray! Pray that this would be the child we had been promised. Pray that this pregnancy would be smooth and without complication. And that is exactly what God did.
Aiden Damon Knapp was born on May 7th, 2005. He was perfect. He was healthy. He was ours! God was faithful. God was with us. God gave him to us at the exact time that we would be blessed beyond our imagination. God gave me my son the day before Mother's Day. God brought friends into our lives because of the timing of that pregnancy. God led us to a church when we were desperately searching, because of the timing of that pregnancy. God had a plan....and I am so in love with it!
When you doubt His hand...it just doesn't make sense. HE is all-knowing. HE is all-powerful. HE is omni-present. HE is beginning. HE is end. And....HE is all that lies within. Trust His precious hand. Trust His pure heart. Trust His eternal, always best for you, plan for your life. It is worth it...always!!
Words have power. Written words provide proof. You can read them, and reread them whenever you want. They can speak life to someone who needs encouragement. They can speak death to someone who is being deceived. The choice lies within you. How is it that you want people to remember you? Encourager...that is the gift that God has laid on my heart. To use my written, spoken, and/or sung words to lift people up. To be one link in their road to healing, restoration, joy. I have been without those things, and I claim them to be mine again. If you want me to seek God on a prayer for a specific situation...that is why I am here. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to pray God's Word of Life over you.