God's response...tell him what I want him to know. Speak my Heart through yours and let it be Me that takes if from there.
If I never see you face to face again...here is what I want you to know.
You have value to me. You are irreplaceable. Your constant prayers are a vital part of why I am who I am today. God heard every one and He has stayed close to me through every tear I have shed. He has protected me and healed me over and over again.
You are a part of my story. My faith. My ministry. My family. We will carry on the legacy that Jesus began in and through you.
Your grandchildren love you. They love to hear your voice. (My daughter says you sound like a cowboy. Haha!) They think of you often. They want desperately to make some memories with you. Until then...they will continue to love you and pray for their Grandpa James.
Your mission field looks much different than most; BUT, it is still your mission field. God continues to place you where He knows you are needed. You speak of your Savior boldly and without an ounce of regret. My grandpa was also like that...and I very much respect that passion in you both. You are not done on this side of Heaven. God's work through you has not yet been completed. Your children and your grandchildren still need your fervent prayers when they rise to begin a day and while they sleep. We need you to fight for us and with us.
Your days are numbered...and only God knows the beginning of your eternity. There is a reason that He does not give that decision to us. It's because we are not all-knowing. We are not omni-present. We can't see what is to come. We can't think past our own perspective some days; to see how far the ripple of ending our life would extend.
I know that the enemy will not stop pursuing us because he fears our prayers. He shudders at the sound of our voices. He wants nothing more than to silence the loudest advocates for the cause of Christ. We have an eternal mission in our days...and we courageously walk in our calling. We are the worst type of Christian to satan. Confident. Bold. Sassy. And relentless.... Even when I am feeling weak I whisper, and the enemy hears it. I keep saying these words over and over again...
"I WILL NEVER STOP FIGHTING YOU!"
I want the enemy to hear my voice. I want satan to know that he will not dictate my future. No matter what he throws at me, I will not bow to him. I need you to fight, Dad. My kids need you to fight, Dad. God has spoken and He is not finished with you, Warrior. I bow beside you in prayer, Mighty Warrior. I place my hand on your back, scarred from battle. I see the places where the arrows that were meant for me...pierced you. I am thankful for your fight. Beyond grateful.
But now I need you to stand up with your armor on and your knees shaking...and tell the enemy Who your Daddy is. I need you to boldly approach the Throne of Grace, for it is there that you will find rest and strength. I need you to kneel at the foot of the cross and proclaim that you, a son of the King, will submit to His authority for the rest of your days. You have a family to live for!
Until I see you again....
I love you so much Dad!