Ever wonder what it takes for someone to write a song. Yeah...I always did too. Then, when I had my firstborn son, Aiden, I had the strangest experience. When my car was silent. Void of any crying, music, or talking. I began to sing a song. A song I had never heard. Slowly, on several different trips. I had almost an entire song. I doubted. How could I write a song with almost no effort? Why would God give me a worship song when I never even asked for it? I doubted.
I was with a close friend one day and I asked her if she had ever heard this song I had been singing. She had a huge grin on her face as she said 'No.' I told her that I thought God was giving me a song. I doubted. So I asked another friend. Same question. Followed by the same response. Yet still, I doubted. How many chances was I going to get before God gave up on me believing in HIS ability? I am so happy to say I didn't have to find out.
One night I got a call from my brother, Jonathan. We chatted for a bit...and then he said something I will never forget.
"No matter how far away I am, or how long it has been since we have spoken, I want you to know that I pray for you. I pray for your husband. And I pray for your son, everyday. And one thing that I pray specifically for you, Vanesa, is that God would give you a song. A song that you have never heard. A song that you might not even understand the purpose for at first. But in time He will reveal it to you."
My jaw literally dropped. During this entire conversation he was going inbetween cell towers as he was driving. So there were multiple times that we had to call each other back. Right at the end of that last statement, his phone cut out. So when I called back, I had to clarify. I made him tell me if that was something that he 'had' been praying...or something that he was going to 'start' praying. You all know what his answer was. He had been praying that and I had no idea. Doubt? How could I?
When the timing was right...which was over a year after I started to get the first line of the song...God showed me the purpose for His song. (Again...'purpose'.) Had I sung it any earlier than He planned...it would have been for show. For personal gain. I waited on His leading. I sang it acapella. That was not my comfort zone. But that is how I was instructed to share it. Several people after that service came up and told me that they heard music in the background while I was singing. Only God can do that. I couldn't have come up with that 'strategy' on my own. Lesson learned. Doubt is not something I want to hold onto.
So when I had my daughter, Ariel, I wondered if God would do it again. But who would I have praying for this song? I couldn't ask someone to pray for it...that would seem selfish. One day I was looking through a book that I had been reading. When I really like a book. When a book really speaks straight to my core. I write all through it. I underline. I make balloons around whole paragraphs. And I write what came to my mind when I was reading it. I was reading some of my little side notes. And there it was. I asked God if He had another song for me. I don't remember ever writing it. But there it was. My sloppy handwriting. Red ink. I knew it would come. And it did. I have to be honest. I think I missed the purpose of that one. But that doesn't discount the faithfulness of God. That just means that I am human, and sometimes I mess up. Moving on...
Child #3....Titus. God was faithful again. He gave me a love song for His daughters. I sang it on Mother's Day this past year. Are you seeing the pattern? I have a baby. God gives me a song. Always when I am driving either alone, or in silence. I have no idea why. How many babies would I have to have to make an entire worship album? Haha! Sorry, I think four is it for us.
That bring us to Levi. My fourth and final baby. I wondered when I first had him if the pattern would continue. Then I kind of forgot. It would occur to me every once in a while..but I never wanted to force it. So I waited.
Suddenly, I found myself in a place of darkness. Of sadness. Of overwhelm. And God sent me to one of His servants. I barely knew her, but God assured me that I could trust her. I poured my heart and all that I was dealing with, out to her. She quickly responded saying that she saw so much hope for my future. Each word she typed brought more and more tears flooding. I didn't see the hope. But I had to trust that God was speaking to her.
One day we met together. We share the same passion...to write. So we instantly had a bond. Had something that we both loved to talk about. That time together was all about encouragement. Uplifting. Right before she left she said she would like to pray for me. I was thinking it might not be such a good idea because the kids where running around and being loud. (Who do you think was the author of that thought? Prayer...not a good idea for someone who was in the midst of feeling like she was going crazy most days? Ahhh...he is sly, but not so smart.) So she started to pray. Interruptions came...and we just kept going. What words do you think she spoke in her prayer. "God give her a new song." What powerful yet simple words. Emotion, and I don't mean just tears, showered over me at that second. Happiness. Joy. Laughter. Excitement. God was going to give me another song. I just had to wait for the time.
Wednesday night was it. I am so excited to see what He is going to do with it!!! I AM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM! I constantly feel as though I don't deserve Him. But luckily God sees me through the blood of His Son. To say I am blessed just doesn't seem to cover how I feel.
I am ready, willing, and waiting to seek God on your behalf. Please message me. Text me. Email me. Post a comment. I will write a prayer for what you are going through. I want to. I feel the Spirit of God so strong right now. I want the overflow to affect as many people as possible. Don't be silenced! I love you!
Words have power. Written words provide proof. You can read them, and reread them whenever you want. They can speak life to someone who needs encouragement. They can speak death to someone who is being deceived. The choice lies within you. How is it that you want people to remember you? Encourager...that is the gift that God has laid on my heart. To use my written, spoken, and/or sung words to lift people up. To be one link in their road to healing, restoration, joy. I have been without those things, and I claim them to be mine again. If you want me to seek God on a prayer for a specific situation...that is why I am here. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to pray God's Word of Life over you.