Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours-ALIVE 2009

Raise of hands if you were at the Christian music festival…Alive ‘09? If you were…you probably heard the same message and worship that I did. One night in particular a woman spoke words that I had forgotten until recently. She was telling us about how she prayed these words to well-known worship song…”Break my heart for what breaks yours.” (<=Click on the link if you'd like to hear it.) She warned us that it was the most dangerous prayer she had ever prayed because God heard. He really listened to her request. And He answered. She didn’t know what to expect, but she got what she asked for. She challenged us to pray it if we felt the Spirit’s leading…but only if we really meant it. Only if we were ready for whatever might follow.

Sheepishly, and timidly I prayed. Then I too quickly forgot. Fast forward to 2012. Lately I have been whining complaining having some heated discussions with God about some past and present events that I did NOT agree with. I was just letting Him know, and asking Him to reveal to me what He was thinking!! I wanted to know the purpose. I wanted to know His thoughts about what He was taking me through. I KNEW it had to make sense to someone…but I was growing weary in my ability to see His hand in it all. I trusted it was there…but I wanted to SEE it. Have you been there? Come on…it can’t just be me!?!

God’s response made me laugh and cry all at the same time. (Yes…I can do that. As I have said before, it is a special gift. Oh na-tur-all!  Haha!) His answer to my “WHY?!”…

“I am breaking your heart for what breaks mine! You asked me to remember? I’ve been answering that request for over 3 years now, and you have forgotten that you ever asked. You have screamed at Me. You have cried to Me. You have asked me to stop. But Vanesa, I know what is best. I knew that when you chose to ask AND LISTEN for my response…that you would understand nothing was for loss but for gain. I am making you stronger. I am proving that your prayers are not only heard, but that they are vital to those I am sending to you. I am teaching you how to be a more powerful and effective warrior for My Kingdom. I am showing you how to have compassion like your Father. I am teaching you how to love without condition. And I am asking you to go be my hands and feet to these people I am revealing to you. The time is now. You have been preparing for this. And I got cho (your) back!” –God

Did you cry while reading that? I definitely cried while I wrote it. To see the plan of God unfold is overwhelming…in a good way. It always makes me simultaneously laugh and cry! It makes all of the labor pains that we've had to endure…worth the birth of something greater than us. God’s response to my question was life changing. I pray that I am never the same as I was before!

So, you might be asking…what does that mean? How did God break your heart for what breaks His? Good question! I knew you’d ask! =) It was simple really. A phone call. A text. A conversation over coffee. And in those conversations came a simple request. Please pray for me. Friends of mine ask me often. I love that they view me as someone who can be trusted to do as they say they will.

What would happen next though was the part that I kept screaming demanding asking God to take from me. I would get to see first hand what these people were experiencing. One asked for prayer for a toothache…with in the next day or two my tooth would began to throb. One had a screaming headache…my head would began to pound. One was arguing with her husband...you guessed it...I was soon annoyed by the trash on the counter right above the GARBAGE CAN! One told me about how her husband was no longer in love with her…and soon I felt that with my own marriage. It wasn’t immediate. If it had been I think I would’ve put the pieces together a lot more quickly. (I hope. *grins a bit embarrassed*) It didn't last long. Just a short season so that I could say I "feel your pain sister!" With each trial that came I really truly honestly got to feel what they had been facing. For real. I promise it was neither imagined nor made up. It was real pain and aching in my heart. I felt hurt. I got angry. I whined for God to just make “one thing go right” some days.

And those examples listed above are all within the last few months. This has been happening…literally…for over 3 years now. *Smacks hand on forehead!* I felt like I was going crazy. The enemy told me I was a hypochondriac. He told me that I was just seeking attention. Or that I was just ‘making it up’. Because, you see, the longer he could delay me from searching for truth to cover his lies…the more frustrated I would become. If he could keep me in that state…maybe I would even stop praying!?

Ahhh…but our God is stronger than that. He knows what the enemy tries to use against us, only makes us stronger.

So bring it on. I want prayer requests. No matter their nature. I want to see God move in a mighty way. I want to be used because it makes my faith grow stronger. I will not fear things of this world. I trust my Father. I know Him. And I know that He is forming me to be a powerhouse of prayer for those that He sends my way. There is a spiritual war going on…and I will war with you my friend. 



Send me your requests. I am ready for a fight! =)