The Sacrificial Victim

Victim.
I have come to truly hate that word.
Because a true victim does not have a choice.
And they never deserve what they receive.

Have you ever had to watch your child walk through a trial so completely and heart-wrenchingly devastating, that you found yourself pleading with God? Desperate. Like you would do anything, ANY. THING. to just take it away. To heal their brokenness. To rescue them. To restore them to what they once were; carefree, joyful, without a worry in the world.

For some of us, our children are dealing with constant torment from others. (Being bullied is no joke.  It truly brings out the worst in people.)  For other children it is a traumatic life event that haunts their days. Maybe it's a family separation for their safety. Maybe an array of varying types of (mental, sexual, physical, verbal) abuse.  Maybe divorce of their parents, or the death of someone they loved. Or maybe it is the devastating moral failure of someone they respect(ed).  Maybe it is a series of poor choices that come with heavy and irreversible consequences.

Although we are all walking our very own path; all while our kids are simultaneously walking theirs...I am guessing that we all ask the same question.

Why?  Why do I have to watch them suffer?  Why can't I fix this?  Why aren't YOU fixing this, God?  Why aren't You taking their pain away?  I AM PLEADING YOU!!!!

But what if we (moms, dads, caregivers) had a choice....

Would we choose...

1.) ...what was best not only for the molding of our child's character after that of Christ, but also for the future of their role in the ministry that He began...no matter what that looked like....

OR

2.) ...what was easiest?

Ugh...gut punch.  That is a decision that I never want to make.  And, honestly, there is a good reason that God does not give us (parents) the option.  It's because we can not be trusted to choose what He Himself chose for His own son.  He chose what was best and never what was easiest.  And God's best plan for Jesus, has effectively changed the eternity of millions of lost and hurting people.  

To God, It. Was. Worth. The. Sacrifice.

Sacrifice.
It is something that we parents have to do often for our kids without a second thought.  We understand the role we are to play in their lives...and we give (more than we have some days) to ensure that their needs are met.  We take our cues from Christ and we give until we are exhausted and empty knowing, expecting, hoping, pleading that our Father will always fill us again.

What happens though, when the victim collides with sacrifice?  

What happens when the very act that made a person a victim...is what God uses to extend His heart's reach?  

And what happens to us, deep within our spirit, when God asks our child to be the sacrificial one?  

When He is using them to teach us just how faithful and omnipotent He is?  (Omnipotent defined: having unlimited power; able to do anything)
When His plans for their lives are more than we are imagining?  

When He is molding them through the pain of trial because only He has seen their life from beginning to end.  Only He knows who He has designed them to be, and what it will take to lead them there.  

Would we have ever have chosen for our child to sacrificially walk the road they are on...if that meant that God would use it for their future mission field?  If it meant that some day they would meet someone who IS where they WERE...and through their raw, messy, gut-honest testimony of God's faithfulness and goodness...they would BE LIVING PROOF that there is ALWAYS HOPE, for a future free of debilitating fear and heavy burden.  ALWAYS TRUTH, to cover and remove the weight behind the whispers of the enemy.  ALWAYS GRACE, to bring freedom from captivity of guilt and shame.  ALWAYS LOVE, after the trail of poor choice.

The sacrificial victim.  I know how impossible it seems to overcome.  I know how much it aches to watch.  I feel the sudden and uninvited flood of emotions that follow those 'past days' thought-patterns.  I am easily angered by the thought of the scheme that they enemy used to try to destroy my child.  

BUT GOD...
God has something that He has been desperately trying to teach me...and I have been so close to getting it.
SO. CLOSE.


There I sat, telling my wise counsel, of my recent Romans 8:28 moment.  I went into the conversation super excited to share how God had used my circumstance to speak life into another's story.  Romans 8:28 moments are those in which I help someone see what they are missing amidst their misery.  Because of where I am and what I've walked through...I have a credible word of encouragement to speak.  I am speaking as one who still flounders some days...but also one who is having way more strong days than weak ones.  (That was not always the case.  At one point, all I had was Sunday.  Sunday was my point of greatest strength...and every day after, was only barely above the point of drowning.) As I always say, these moments bring purpose to pain.  

I was genuinely happy to share my story, but within moments my smile quickly faded as my joy was syphoned out by sudden, crippling guilt.  God was speaking to my heart and my tears indicated that I was not there yet.  My brain wanted to be, but my heart was too afraid to let go and allow God's best plan to penetrate my pain.

If you have a few moments...please listen to The Unexpected Letter.  I could barely see the screen through my tears the first 4 times I watched it.  My favorite lines...

"I was not a victim of human plans

and I was certainly never a slave to you.

I am the victor." -Jesus

YES!!!!!  I am the victor.  I want to know, live, AND feel that...all of my days.  I want to scream it into the face of the devil and watch him cower away.  I know the God that I serve and I know that it is through the sacrifice of Jesus that my children will be victorious over every obstacle in their life.

God wants to know...do I trust HIM enough to say AND believe....that it was worth my child's sacrifice?  That God knew their hearts intimately and because of that He knew what they were capable of overcoming.  He knew that we would be struck down but not destroyed because of our collective faith in Him.  He knew that we would help each other through the low times where we felt as though the end of the torment was far off.  

Can I know that my child's ministry in his/her future will bring forth healing to the victims who are where they once were?

I can.

I do.

If my child reaches into the lives of the broken and offers them living water that forever changes their course of eternity...it is worth it.  The price was paid by a Savior that taught us how to sacrifice with eternal purpose.  And that is a heart I would love to teach my sons and daughter to imitate.

Expose him

Every so often we have to call the enemy out.

We have to call him by his name.

We have to remind him of who we are in Christ.

So that he never forgets.

But what about you and I? Is it possible that we could ever forget?

Is it possible that we could go through a day, that could turn to a week...that could then turn to waaaaaaaay longer than we'd like to admit...where our days just seem to wear us down. Weariness sets in and our fight is weak.

This is me today.  My fight is feeling weak...so what am I going to do about it?
Sleep more? -Yeah. Stinking. Right.
Complain less? -I wish!
Read a self-help book? -Who has the time?
Run away to Hawaii? -Um...yes please!!!!!!!!!!!

For real though. Back to reality...what can I do?  I can reach out to the women that God has placed in my life who help hold me up.  I can read the promises and truth in the Word of God.  I can scream pray. <-- Ever heard of it?

I don't scream pray often, but when I do, it. is. for. real! It is like praying...only much much louder and with more crazy "passion" because I am reminding the enemy Who he is messing with.  I am talking directly to the legion of demons that dare mess with a child of the King.  I am speaking life over the death that they taunt me with.  I am speaking truth over lies.  I get feisty...and I look ridiculous.  I am always alone...and I am usually driving.  But there, in my minivan, I become a warrior. A warrior who has come to fight the giant that knows his end.  And I love to remind him of the end. 
I. Win.


What about my our children?

Does the enemy know the sound of their voice?  Does he yet have a reason to fear it?

I want the enemy to hear my kids proclaim truth.  I want him to hear them pray for victory.  I want him to hear them war for their life, their family and their friends.  My kids can not live off of my faith.  It is not enough.  I want to enemy to watch them become exactly who he feared they would.  I want him to never forget that we. win.

If someone that you love comes to you in need, absolutely, pray over them. BUT...be sure that they also pray for themselves.  Encourage them to speak to that mountain in their life and accompany them as they boldly approach the Throne of Grace for themselves.  It may seem like a minor step...but I assure you...it is not.  The enemy needs to know who He is messing with...and that is the King above all kings.  Jesus.  If that is the only word that they can whisper...it is enough.

JESUS

"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16

Trust Issues

I have said it silently to myself more times than I can count in my 35 years of life. My guess, is that you have too. They are those questions that just can. not. be. answered. Even if they ever were...the answer would probably not satisfy the deep longing questions in our hearts.

Why?
Where were You?
Why now?

Most recently it has not even been so much for me, but still I ask God, 'Why'...

It's been a year now since tragedy hit me like a semi-truck.
It has been a year full of change.
A year of asking.
A year of doubt.
Thankfulness. Anger. Sadness. Disbelief.
And it has been a year of watching God swoop in at the very last moment, when I was in full mental outrage, and show Himself faithful.
And yet it was a year of questioning...why?

Several months ago I decided to begin to read for the purpose of fun. Escaping I suppose. A way to stop my mind from constant thought.

Even after the decision had been made...it took me a few weeks to know where to start. Which author? Fiction or non? Did I want to dive into a self help type of book or just thoughtlessly encounter someone else's storyline.

I dove into my new book, head first. I read every spare moment I had. I waited up late and got waaaaaay too little sleep. I took loooong evening baths (almost daily) and stayed extra long in the tub. I had to see how the story all worked out in the end. I was addicted.

One night in particular I was intent on finishing the book that I had been sneaking in at every opportunity. I was so close. I sat with my cup of coconut cream coffee and...escape.....

Just a few moments in there were those words that I have wanted to speak scream time and time again.

Where were You when this was happening God?!

I closed my eyes and looked away. The second I read those words my breath was gone. When I opened my eyes again, I could no longer see through my tears. I knew that what came in the next paragraph was the reason God had chosen this book for me. I was angry at first when I realized the base of the story was very close to what I was dealing with personally. Of ALLLLL the fiction books in ALLLLLL of the libraries...I had to choose THIS one. Ugh. But I read on because I knew God had something to tell me...and I was unsure I could handle His response...

I. was. there.

How could I have doubted that He was there? How dare I think he would ever turn away? How did that simple reality make me feel both comfort and disgust? Why were there hot angry tears running down my cheeks?

They fell because I had trusted Him. But what about now...do I still...? How do you remain faith-filled when you feel as though the wind has been knocked out of you and you lay there struggling to simply breathe? What kind of God........I couldn't even finish that thought.

Sometimes we have to get gut honest with God. We have to lay it all out before Him. I have both a reverent fear of God and an open line of communication with Him. I tell Him more brutally honest things than I do any one person on this earth. He knows me completely. Every thought. Every glare. Every tear. He knows my heart intimately. He formed my inmost being...and He can handle my wrath.

That night as I read through the blur of my tears; I could not help but to silently weep. Alone. There wasn't a person in this world who could fix my struggle. It was up to me. I had to choose to fight my way through what the enemy was using to try to destroy the faith and purpose of myself and my family. I had to admit to myself and to God that I was angry with Him. I had to voice that I felt as though He had closed His eyes to what HE SHOULD HAVE STOPPED.

Should have.
As if I have the right to tell God how my story will go.
As if I think I know what is to come.
As if I was there at the beginning of it all.
As if I can say what it will take to make me into the woman that He knows I am capable of becoming.

I lay down my weapons.
My harsh words.
My doubt.
My trust issues.
I lay them at His feet. I do not deserve any of the wonderful things He does for me because of anything I have done.

I remember the first Sunday that I was to lead the Lauren Daigle song, Trust In You, during worship. I could barely make it through. There was a spiritual battle going on in my head, and I was the only person invited to the fight. It wasn't about learning the song...that had been fairly easy. Practicing the song with the worship team was a little bit more of a challenge. But then came worship...

There is a huge difference between practicing/singing and worshipping. During worship that day...it got real. It was that day that I knew I had no right to sing those very words if I didn't truly believe them.

A single tear ran down my cheek. I knew that I wanted to believe them. I knew that I wanted to trust God with the life and safety of my family. I also knew that He could see through my voice. He could see through my worship. He could see straight to the place in my heart where the struggle was raging.

And it was that day...I knew we had won. I did trust God and I belted those words out because I believe(d) that God is for me and for my family. Romans 8:28 will forever be true. God will use this tragedy. I don't know how. I don't know when. But I will wait for glimpses of good....because it is there that God will be.

Get Your Praise On (Day TWENTY SEVEN-30 Day Challenge)

Every time my kids and I drive anywhere together...music is almost always on. As of recently...we are usually rocking bands such as LaCrae, Toby Mack and Capital Kings. They are all super upbeat and fun. To some who hear us drive by, it might seem a little odd to hear Christian dance, hip hop or rap coming from my sweet minivan; but  I can assure you that my kids don't care at all. Lol! The smiles on their faces...and the lyrics they are singing makes it worth a few eye rolls. ;-)

Even though lately we've been listening to a lot of music that makes us all want to dance...I love that my kids can still appreciate true worship. I know that I've mentioned one of my favorite songs before...but I am going to again. It became clear to me in the last few weeks that maybe my kids aren't 'the norm'.  Haha!! I mean they really aren't normal, but I'm thinking maybe they are more 'peculiar' than I realize. 

I'm going to go King James on you for a moment. Stay with me. ;-) "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of Him who hath called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." 1 Peter 2:9 ( Just so we are clear...because I wasn't...'shew forth' means show out into view.)

What does it mean to be peculiar? By definition it can have several meanings. Some of them include; special, unique, eccentric, uncommon, unusual or odd. What does it mean for us, as Christians, to be peculiar? The definitions that I believe the author is referring to in the passage above are; 'distinct from all others', 'distinctive in nature or character from others'. 

WE AREN'T SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THE WORLD!! (All caps means I am screaming it right?! Lol! There is a difference between screaming in anger and screaming with passion. I am passionate about that one...not bitter! I just want to be sure you got my point.) We aren't supposed to talk like them!  We aren't supposed to live like them! We are supposed to be peculiar! We are supposed to show, so the world can see, ourselves praising Him who has given us freedom from eternal death and suffering! You  have something to celebrate. It is not just your day...but your forever! We are not above the lost, as in high and mighty, but we are different. Or at least we should be!

My oldest son has gotten the chance to play DJ with my MP3 player a few times over the last couple of weeks, while we had some friends of his in the car with us. He deemed himself in charge of finding music suitable for everyone. He played a few silly dance-type songs, a little rap and then.... (Here is where it got peculiar, in a good way.) Aiden turned to his friend and said in an excited voice...'Do you want to hear an awesome song? It is so so good! It is one of my favorites!' Of course they did...his song selection had been slammin'! His DJ skills were clearly right on track.

If you haven't ever heard the song that he played next...take the time now to watch the video. It is so so good, in my opinion as well. So good! The song is called, 'The Great I Am'. It starts off quiet and slow...and it builds. I remember well the first time my children and I ever heard it. We were driving home at night and I turned it way up. (Probably to try to hear over their loudness!) Everyone.got.silent. (In a van with four young children, I gotta tell you, THAT NEVER HAPPENS! <-- Passionate about that one too? Haha!) Seriously, my kids and I couldn't help it though. The words of this song brought a hush over us all. We worshiped God that night, in my minivan, in complete silence. We didn't have to say or sing a word. We were there in His Presence...and I will never forget it. We couldn't help but to just listen in awe of the lyrics. As I listened for the first time, I had tears falling down onto my cheeks. The song ended and my oldest son, who was probably around the age of 6 or 7 at the time, says to me, 'Wow, THAT is a powerful song Mom. I cried a little when I was listening to it.' Peculiar! (But also totally amazing that he can discern the power of God put to music!)

Or how about the week that my middle son, Titus was in the nursery at our old church. To help time pass the nursery workers were asking for song requests that the group could sing together. One child asked to sing The Itsy Bitsy Spider. Another wanted Mary Had a Little Lamb. Titus though, at the age of 3, he asked for The Great I Am. Peculiar!(And also amazing to me! They are listening...no matter their age...they hear you!) And when the woman who was working in the nursery that day told me that story, she ended by saying, 'You can tell which child is the worship leader's son!' Haha! I absolutely LOVE IT!

Why are my kids peculiar? I'd say it is a double whammy. Yep...that's what I said. A.double.whammy. Lol! You see, my husband is not only the Worship Pastor of our church; I am also one of the lead worshipers. That is not at all a prideful statement. Please please please know that. I am simply saying that I am not up there performing. I am not just trying to be a singer leading songs. I am a worshiper who leads BY worshiping. I am not above. I am not exalted. I am someone who has gone through times where I didn't want to sing...and now I must worship whenever I can. I owe Him that at the very least! I know what God has given me victory over. I worship because I can not forget how faithful He has been to me! I will never forget!

"Praise the Lord. Praise God in His sanctuary; praise Him in His mighty Heavens. Praise Him for His acts of power; praise Him for His surpassing greatness. Praise Him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise Him with the harp and lyre, praise Him with tambourine and dancing, praise Him with the strings and flute, praise Him with the clash of cymbals, praise Him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord."  Psalm 150

Do you have breath? Then you know what to do! You must set the example. The world is watching...begging someone to live what they know. Your kids are learning from you. It matters not so much what you say...but what they see you do. In your home do they see you worship? In your car do they hear you pray and praise? Is worship kept sacred for Sunday mornings? Because we can't handle that type of pressure. Your church can.not.be your only source of worship! When you have gone allllll week without singing praises to your King, who is responsible? When you come empty and leave disappointed, who is to blame? It surely is NOT your church. Do you know that 'worship is a lifestyle...not an event'? Is that what your life proves to be true?

God gave us a pretty HUGE miracle this week in our family. **Disclaimer...The following should not in any way give any one the impression that my husband is anything other than invincible as he believes he is. Haha! (Kind of like when Mario gets a star on any of the Mario video games) It proves only that God's protection is over him...and NOT that he is a weakling. End of disclaimer** ;-)

Wednesday my husband came home from work and I went out to give him a hug. Immediately I could tell by his face that something was wrong. Keep in mind that he has a extremely dangerous job. There isn't a day that goes by that my kids and I don't pray for the safety of he and his dad in the woods. Our team of horses was pulling a log as Eric had instructed them to do. He was beside the cart watching as the log they were pulling t-boned a tree that was laying in their path. Eric, thinking it was just a log that would move out of the way, gave another command for them to continue on through the obstacle. They began pulling the entire tree with them which knocked Eric over. He was then dragged along, with the tree eventually ending up on top of him.

What stopped it? Finally the tree that was dragging him ran into a tree that was still standing. He had a close view of this tree. The sound that it made when it stopped all motion was not only heard but felt. Less than a foot away from getting his head crushed...Eric lay unable to move. He was unsure if anything was broken. He had no function in either of his legs. BUT GOD!

In August of 2011 God gave me this scripture for Eric. "A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; He protects His bones, not one of them will be broken." Psalm 34:19-20 I showed the verse to Eric and he still holds on to that promise.

Eric is sore...but he is blessed! That first night was a rough one for him pain-wise...but he can feel. The feeling in his legs was quickly restored. The nausea from the intense pain left as he slept that Wednesday night. I praise God that He gave me the promise of protection over my husband. I praise God that He reminded him of it when he hobbled into our house that afternoon. And I praise God that He was faithful to that promise. No bones broken. Not even a bruise or scratch.

I laughed as I responded to this question posed by one of the men from our worship team, "When a worship leader falls in the forest and nobody else is around to hear, just what kind of sound does he make?" My answer..."The worship leader still praises God because his head was not smashed between the trees less than a foot from it! =) God is good!"

NO matter your circumstance...you have reason to praise. Set the example for the world around you...and set the bar high! Imitate Christ always...and watch how it changes your view of God's faithfulness. Watch how it strengthens your faith. Let it mold you to be a more noticeable and effective warrior. Heaven will be an eternity all about praising and worshiping our Creator...I suggest you learn to love it now! ;-)

"May my lips overflow with praise, for you teach me Your decrees. May my tongue sing of your Word, for all Your commands are righteous." Psalm 119:171-172 

Age Smage (Day TWENTY FIVE-30 Day Challenge)

Eric, my husband, got an opportunity to preach in our church this past Sunday. (He did amazing! Although when I tell him he kinda rolls his eyes and says that I 'have' to say that because I am his wife. Lol! For real though, I was so proud of him!!) Having been married to him since 2001...and dating him for quite a few years before that...I've heard all of his stories. Or so I thought. =) One of the stories he told that morning absolutely floored me! 

He recounted a story of when he was a little boy. Somewhere between the ages of 6-8, he had gone to a playground with his father. His dad was talking...and he was off playing with another little boy. The boy had a lot of questions about God. Eric was answering the ones he knew and the ones he didn't, he would run over to his dad, ask the question and run back with the answer. At the end of that conversation Eric prayed and this little boy accepted Jesus. Don't get me wrong, that IS highly impressive at his young age...but what floored me was what Eric said next. "I led this little boy to Christ, and yet I, myself, didn't accept Christ as my Savior until I was TEN!"

God does not make mistakes. He does not work by chance. He knew that Eric was willing. He knew that Eric was bold and unafraid. He equipped Eric (with the help of  his dad) even before Jesus was invited to live in his own heart. 

It is all about being equipped. To be equipped is to have the tools or qualities necessary for performance. When we think of evangelizing, is it scary? When we think of praying with someone to accept Christ, is it terrifying? If you are saying yes you are not alone. I was there at a time in my life. I actually went to a summer seminar to learn to evangelize. And when I got the opportunity to tell my testimony I cried. Not in fear. Not because of nerves. But because this man who literally had NOTHING...was so hungry for our hope. My tears for him were what made him accept Christ that day. God will equip you...I guarantee it takes a lot less than you think. =) You did not have to do the hard part. Our part pales in comparison to what Jesus had to do for that salvation. It's the least we can do!

So, yesterday, morning my oldest son was awake and standing next to my bed, super excited about the trip he was leaving on. How do I know how excited he was? First, it.was.5:13.a.m. Second, he woke up and immediately started doing homework. Haha! He saw the light on in my bedroom, knew that I was already awake and he remembered that he had a couple pages of school work to finish for the days that he was going to miss. Luckily, they weren't math! Whew...they were Bible pages. I can do Bible before six in the morning...math, ugh...not so much. Lol! 

I was going between writing my blog post, helping him understand what he's supposed to be doing and helping define words like 'equipped'. At one point on his paper there was a scale that ranged from 0-10. Above the scale was written, 'Color in the scale from left to right, stopping at the place that shows how equipped you feel to tell people about Jesus.' I was silent. I so badly wanted to peek, but I left him alone after defining the word equipped. I was minding my own business but I was SOOOO CURIOUS to see what he would pick.

Can you see how far he colored?!?! That is a SEVEN!!!!! I'd say he feels pretty confident in his ability to tell people about Jesus. May I remind you that my son is only eight years old!!! I was so impressed. It brought a huge smile to my face as I raised my hand to high five him. I only pray that his confidence only grows as he matures. I pray that he's just like his daddy in this area. Without fear!

I actually would say that Aiden is already on his way to being just like his dad in many ways. For example, when my husband was in school he was a great swimmer. His event was the 200-yard IM (Individual Medley). It was two lengths of the pool for each stroke; butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke and freestyle. Last year was Aiden's first year swimming and one of the swim meets was full of odd events that they didn't normally swim. Aiden, on that day, got to swim the 100-yard IM. It was so cool for me and my husband to get to see. I remember being there...as my husband's then girlfriend...and cheering him on in his own event during our high school days. To do the same for my son was almost surreal. (Incidentally, Aiden won his first competitive IM that day. All of his opponents were disqualified for one reason or another. Haha!)

Another similarity they have, is that Aiden also led someone to Christ at a young age just like his dad. I remember the day. My kids were playing in the dining room. Aiden and Ariel, both a few years younger than they are now, we having a conversation.

"Do you have Jesus in your heart?"-Aiden
"No, what does that mean?"-Ariel

I just stood in the kitchen. Silent. I wanted to see where this conversation would lead. I wanted him to have his own voice of faith. He can't live on mine. He can't live on his dad's. And he understood, that Ariel needed Jesus in her heart too. He explained with child-like faith. And then he asked 'The Question'.

"Do you want to accept Jesus into your heart?"-Aiden
"Yes! I don't want to go to hell!"-Ariel

And so they prayed. My son, led his sister to Christ because he KNEW he could. He has the same power that I do. He has access to the same power that Jesus had. Aiden has a powerful ministry ahead of him. He is a worshiper. He loves easily...and without condition. And he is not afraid. He has seen miracles. He has been a part of the prayers that helped those miracles become reality. I encourage you to live your faith out loud in front of your children...but be sure they have their own. Let them first pray for healing...so that their faith can become stronger. And be willing to learn from them. God has put children in your life for a reason...do not see yourself above. They are simple...and sometimes it cuts through a lot of crap that distorts something you've made complicated.

What about you? Do you ever discount yourself from 'having to witness' because of your age? You think you are too young. Or too old. Or maybe it is your social make-up. You say you are too shy or too abrasive. If, today, you met someone who didn't know Jesus as their Savior...what would you do? Would you feel unworthy to talk and pray with them to receive salvation? Or would you dive right in, knowing that while you might not have the answer to EVERY single question they come up with, the answer to eternal death and suffering is easy. Accept Jesus. Follow His ways. Learn His heart. Worship Him. Flee from sin. Share Him as often as you can!

On a scale of 0-10 where would you rate yourself on how confident you are to share your faith? How can you make an effort to bump that number up? You are equipped. You have Jesus. You have the Holy Spirit. You have the heart of God written in the Words of the Bible. You have family that will pray for your faith to become stronger. I don't care if it is your actual family...or your spiritual family. Ask them to commit to lift you up in prayer in this area specifically! IT is vital. It is valuable.

If ever there was a time when I feel like people should have hung onto Jesus' every word...it was right after He was resurrected. I mean seriously...not one of them should have doubted His true identity and power...but they did. What did Jesus tell them though?

"Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.' " Matthew 28:18-20

The above passage usually titled, 'The Great Commission', is for you. It isn't just for pastors. It isn't just for those with seasoned faith. It isn't just for the young, nor for the old. It isn't just for the disciples of Jesus. It is for every single soul that has accepted Jesus into their heart. That includes you my friend. If you are leaving the job for everyone else....anyone else but yourself...you are missing it. Jesus Himself, was the one speaking those words to us. If He were in front of you now...would it have a greater impact? Would you fight Him on it?

If you have breath...you need to speaking for Jesus. If you have a  heart beat...you need to be loving the lost (and the saved!) If you have sight...you need to be looking for opportunities to be used. If you can hear...listen for the voice of God. He is speaking. He is telling you where your ministry is. He is whispering thoughts of hope that someone needs to cling to. He is reminding you of Scripture so that you can share truth over lies. You are not dead...stop acting like you are. You have hope...share it at all costs. Wouldn't you want it for yourself? What if the person that helped  you to come to know Jesus had been too afraid? Or too old? Or too young? Or too shy? Or too busy? Or too.....

Eternity is a long time! Be a part of changing someone's eternity today! I guarantee you will be blessed...and they will be forever changed! That is a win, win! =)

The Traveler (Day TWENTY FOUR-30 Day Challenge)

Your bags are packed and your shoes are on. You step out in faith because you've accepted the call. You've agreed to go to wherever God leads. For now all you can do is put one foot in front of the other. You are one part nervous and the rest anxious. You have no idea what to expect. You have no idea what you will face. You aren't even sure you can handle it...but you start walking. 

At first, your travels are smooth. You are enjoying the view and the people passing by seem friendly. You are feeling strong and gaining confidence that you are heading the right way. No sooner do you think that, and you notice the weather starting to get a little cooler. You aren't quite as comfortable and people don't seem to be looking around anymore. They seem consumed by their own travels. You reach out to them to offer them a drink and they gladly accept. You offer them words of encouragement and they perk up. They smile with sincerity and walk on with their heads looking forward to what is to come. 

You keep walking, still strong, still confident. The wind picks up. The dust from the road is making it increasingly more difficult to see. You can tell that this is a storm you are walking into and you want desperately to turn around. But you weren't happy there. Why in the world would you go back to stagnant? Why would you return to what wasn't effective? To what wasn't moving you or those around you? But, wait, how do you know if this storm is a sign?

The wind increases even more. Now your eyes are barely open. You can't see anyone on the road anymore because the dust is so thick. A sudden shot of regret fills your head...but your heart and your feet are still moving forward. You begin to wonder...how will I ever know if I am heading where God is leading?

A kind voice is heard beside you. It is a fellow traveler. They stand still beside the path and seem unaffected by the dusty wind. You recognize what you can see of their face. You saw them earlier on your path. You encouraged them. You gave them a drink of living water so that they might not thirst again. They are standing in the storm and they say, 'I am proof. You are going the right way. My path was headed toward darkness until you met me on my journey. This storm will pass. But now, remember me when you doubt.'  

You press on. Determined and courageous. All fear and doubt must leave because it has no place to reside in you. This same thing happens over and over again. Travelers that you met before now stand to cheer you on. 'Keep up the fight!' 'You are doing great!' 'I am praying for you!' One by one they come alongside you. Each one making it easier to whether the storm. 


Ministry is hard. I absolutely LOVE it...but boy is it hard some days. Those are the days that I wonder...did I choose the right path? Did I choose the right church? Did God tell us to stay...or was that our own desire? Am I in the right job...or should I give up and start over? Did I choose the right school for my children? Does God really WANT me to live in the snow belt of Pennsylvania? Really...does he? ;-)

Easy is not a foolproof implication that the choice you made is right. The enemy would LOVE for you to believe that. But truth is...if we are going along our daily lives and we aren't being challenged by the enemy...maybe we aren't being effective for the Kingdom either. If you are already headed away from the will of God...the enemy doesn't 'need' to lead you astray. He need only encourage you to stay!

If though...you are boldly living for Christ. If you are defeating the enemy at his game. If you are inviting others to come to church and praying with them to accept Christ...the war is so on. The enemy will hound. he will discourage. he will throw hurtful words at you...usually from people you love. he will distract you from moving forward. And he will get you to doubt if you are going the right way.

So how do you know? Are you making a difference? Who are the people on your path that were headed for eternity in hell...that are now following Jesus because you met them in their darkest hour? Salvation. People that are accepting Christ as their Lord and Savior...those are how you know you are on the same path that Jesus walked. Lives are being transformed...and you get to be a part of it. You give them the only thing that satisfies.

"Jesus answered, 'Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13-14

If you are struggling today with knowing if you are making a difference...write down the names of people you have encouraged this week/month/year. If you have someone that you led to Christ...write their name in BOLD. If you prayed with someone...write their name down. These are the people you think of when you doubt. When you doubt your call. When you doubt your ministry. When you doubt your position. When you doubt God. Picture the faces attached to the names you wrote down. They are your own personal proof. You are going the right way. Keep walking! The storm will pass...and your faith will be stronger! That is how Romans 8:28 works!

"You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." 1 Corinthians 3:2-3  In my words, let the effectiveness of your life IN ministry be proven by the lives you have touched. When you help heal hearts broken or lost, by just being available and speaking what God says...you will need no other proof. There is nothing greater than for the spiritually lost to become saved, and the broken to be restored in Jesus Name!

If you are staring at a blank sheet of paper..do not feel condemned. Instead...set your sight on Jesus. Maybe the reason you aren't being effective is because you are walking away from your call instead of towards. Maybe you are being distracted from seeing the people that are struggling along your way. Let today be the day you choose to be inspired by greatness. Not by 'Vanesa the Great'...but by the example set by Jesus. Imitate Him always!

Wake up early and meet with God, just as Jesus did. "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed." Mark 1:35

Let the person in front of you be the most important thing at that moment, just as Jesus did. "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 5:21

Pray for healing, just as Jesus did. "The whole town gathered at the door, and Jesus healed many who had various diseases." Mark 1:33-34

Pray for salvation among many, just as Jesus did. "Some men brought to Him a paralytic, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralytic, 'Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.' " Matthew 9:2

Do not sell yourself short...because the same Jesus that walked this earth...lives within you! Keep walking with Him. Follow His voice...you are finishing the ministry that HE began! =)

Playing to Win (Day TWENTY THREE-30 Day Challenge)

There is one seat left. Slowly you walk towards the table. You are in the mood to play a game and you are hoping to get a clue as to what game is being played and how high the stakes are. The players are silent but eerily intense. They each have a name hanging from a lanyard around their necks, but it is too dark to make them out. You slowly approach hoping to get a better view. Just as you squint your eyes to try to focus...

...the empty chair is pushed your way. Something within you feels uneasy...and yet you are not scared. You sit and glance around the table. The faces of your opponents are covered from the nose down. You still can't make out any of their names as the leader begins to deal the hand. All eyes are on you. Some of them are cold and harsh...some intimidatingly inviting. You begin to realize that maybe this wasn't the friendly game you thought it was. 

You pick up your hand. These cards are far from a normal deck. All of your cards are the same except for one. Your first instinct is to run, but you don't. You desperately want to ask what they are playing, but you don't. You feel almost paralyzed. They seem to be enjoying your apparent discomfort. The first card is played by the man sitting at the head of the table? It contains only one word. 'Gossip.'

The other players laugh. They begin, one by one, laying down a card from their own hand. They are forming a circle around 'gossip'. One card says 'friend'. One said says 'sister'. Another says 'Co-worker'. There was just one more player before it was your turn. He looked straight into your eyes as he pulled his mask down. He smiled and winked as he laid down his card.

There it was in black letters on a white card. The word...'church'. It sent a chill down your spine and a lump to your throat. Your eyes shifted to the now exposed lanyard around the last man's neck. Destroyer. It wasn't a name at all...it was his job title.

Your pulse begins to pick up as you look down at your cards. The man at the head of the table tells you that your card is to be placed directly on top of his. You've got to cover the word gossip with......   Six of your cards have the same word, 'victim'. Only one is different.  You aren't sure when to play it. How will you know what is to come? Should you save it for something that might be worse than gossip?

You close your eyes for a moment and you see your sister. Your friend. Your co-worker. You can actually see specific times when you gossiped about them. And you can now see how they looked when they found out. You feel empty and sick. You know the time is near. The opportunity to gossip about someone in church. Your heart rate picks up even more. The uneasiness is turning to fear.

Shame gets up from his chair and kneels next to you. He is the cause of this guilt trip you are on right now...and he wants to see your anguish up close. Anger is there and he is up next. A tear falls down your check and you whisper a word. A name. Jesus.

You take your only card of hope and place it over 'gossip'. It reads...'victor'. The room gets loud. Shouts are coming from all directions. Joyous praises are heard from angels all around the room. You hadn't seen them before but now you see them as they praise Jesus with excitement because you just CHOSE to defeat gossip. From the table comes many angry sneers that you would dare use that Name in their presence. They know the significance of that victory. It will be just one of many!

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Peace surrounds you. You open your eyes now with confidence. You look at your hand and now all but one of the cards, say victor. You gained strength in your faith in Jesus with that decision. And your hand is now stacked in your favor. Sure you still have free will. You will always still have the choice to fall into temptation...but NOW it is outnumbered by victory!!

"In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:37

It is your choice. It always was. Victory was yours the moment you accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior. You were not meant to live a defeated life. You were not designed to be overcome by evil at every opportunity. God has victory for you...always. It may be a little messy to get to it...but it will be worth it.

The enemy knows that each time you accept defeat that you are more likely to do it again. he ALSO knows that when you choose victory, even if it goes against every natural desire you have; that you are more likely to choose it again! "Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit." John 3:6

The attacks of the enemy will continue. But the strength of his opponent...only grows. The more you allow Christ to break you free from the love of sin...the stronger you become in Him. You will always remember where you were...but you will no longer live in the death and destruction of it.

I know I write this a lot...but I truly mean it. It's not too late. If you have been caught up in sin...it's not too late for faith to gain strength in the Name of Jesus! It's not too late to choose victory, over victim. YOU allow yourself to be the victim of the enemy. YOU sometimes put others in the position of being the victim. It is always your choice. And even if you haven't been making the right ones...it's not too late. Never too late!

Say the name of Jesus right now. Scream it if you must. Know that there is POWER in that Name! Flee from sin. Flee from the places that draw you into sin. Flee from the people that encourage you to sin. Run to find a place where Jesus is welcome, living and active in the hearts of the people there. You choose. It's your life. And it will be only you on the day of judgement. It's not too late. It's never too late for you!

"The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:56-57

Retreat or Defeat (Day SIXTEEN-30 Day Challenge)

If you are a reader, hearer and follower of the Word of God...I can guarantee that you've read the passage of scripture that I'm starting with today. I do have a specific point though...so stay with me. Don't skip and don't skim over them. (Confession #862,379...I do that which I just asked you not to. Sometimes when I'm reading a devotional, I skip the Bible verses if I deem it too long of a passage for my alotted time. And if its just one single verse...I may skim it...but I don't really 'pay attention'. I was challenged this weekend by the idea that in each decision you make you are either walking towards God or away. Which is it? Am I going to pass over the Word of Life that has carried me through my darkest hours? Or will I willingly read with fresh perspective? Can you see...I'm there with you. I know struggle because, by my choice, some days I struggle. Let's defeat!)

The Armor of God

" Finally, be strong in The Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything,      to stand. 

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish ALL the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God." Ephesians 5:10-17

I almost missed it. Oh how close I came. If I had had Internet in my home this morning...I would.have.missed.it! I literally just got done telling you to NOT skim and skip over those exact verses and I kind of thought about doing it myself. Oh the enemy is sly but he is not smart. You see, if I had had the Internet I would have gone onto the bible gateway app and copied and pasted those verses so I didn't have to type them from my iPad screen. And if I had done that I would have missed it because I wouldn't have read it. I've read it before. I can quote it. But God was asking me to read it again. He had a fresh revelation that needed a heart willing to have fresh perspective. 

See...I have admitted before and I will say it again...I am not above you. I am preparing myself in the trenches of battle...with you. I'm fumbling to remember or take the time to pick up my armor some days. I leave it laying untouched on my nightstand. I promise to do it later...and I run out the door. Un-armed. Exposed. 

Let's try to picture now what the enemy just saw. 

"She's wide open today boys. Our plan to have her fall back asleep after she knew she was supposed to wake up and read her bible...it worked like a charm. The enemy smiles at his accomplishment. She is missing a chunk of her sword today. I bet HE was going to prepare her for this battle coming. Lets not waste our time boys. Our attack must come quick. We want to catch her off guard. We want to start her day day off stumbling...in hopes that she will soon fall. You, satan points to the ugliest and most skilled of his warriors. You have been working like a charm since the garden. Shame...it is you that will start her day. I want shame to be what she feels first, before compassion or love. I want the guilt of her 'choice' to sleep today to be a constant weight that clouds her vision. We need to knock that shield of faith out of her hand while she is unaware. I want these arrows to pierce her deep. his voice begins to quiver. I have seen what she is capable of. We do not want her to pull that Sword on us. We are no match for that. Those Words of Truth cover every lie we have. Pursue her, Shame. Remind her of what she did today. Make sure you take Disappointment with you. I have to go look for Depression. He always follows you. GO! And do not relent!"

That was really hard for me to write. I picture that conversation happening because of a few extra minutes of sleep that I sometimes choose over my morning devotion time. When you allow your heart to see it as a spiritual battle that is unseen by your eyes...but surely felt...it is easier to fight. Put yourself in that scenario above when you go to roll over in bed. Wake up and meet with God because He longs to give you exactly what you need for THAT day. He will help you be an overcomer rather than an open target.

Now let's look at what I could've missed. Something small that I have missed EVERY time I have read this passage before. "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything   ,   to stand." I finally saw the comma before the last two words of that verse. I had never read it with that puncuation. I read it as a continuance to the verses that followed. But when you read it with that intended pause...you see what it really says. After you have put on the full armor of God. After you have done everything, remember 'to stand'.

God needs us standing up and ready. He needs our feet firmly placed and braced for attack so that it doesn't knock us over when it suddenly hits. He needs us to know that when we feel weak; when our faith is lacking...He has already given us the tools to know which piece of armor is missing.

And how about your back? Which one of those pieces of armor covers your back? NONE! (Thank you for that blaring reminder Holly Wagner!) You are not armed for retreat. When you marriage is hard...you were not meant to walk away. When God's people throw out false accusations against you...you are not equipped to run. It is the front of you that is protected by God. It is the front that braces against the winds of the storm. It is the front that walks into the difficult path because they see God in it. You were created to face opposition with confidence in Jesus.

"For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. All men will hate you because of Me. But not a hair of your head will perish. By standing firm you will gain life." Luke 21:15-19

Those words are from the lips of Jesus Himself. The heading in my Bible reads, 'Signs of the End of the Age'. Don't freak out. Stop freaking out. NOthing catches God off guard. Nothing surprises Him. Stand firm and gain life my friend. Even your hair is important enough for God to protect!

Powerful Conversations (Day SEVEN-30 Day Challenge)

Last night I sat down to begin today’s post…in hopes that I could maybe just maybe *whispers* sleep in a bit. I was really excited at the chance to write and not have to set my alarm…but I was feeling a bit blank. =/ At my husband’s suggestion…I left at 9pm to be alone with my writing (and some coffee!) Seriously, his suggestion. He was watching Duck Dynasty and I kept getting distracted by it. My kids were in the living room watching a cartoon movie and ‘camping out’. I offered for Eric, my husband, to turn the TV off and support my writing with his silence (kind of like he does every morning when my alarm goes off. Ha-ha!…just sayin.) He laughed and said that I should go into town with my computer and get some coffee. I was gone faster than he could retract his suggestion. Lol!
I got myself allllll situated. I was in the very back of the restaurant where there were no customers. I got my computer plugged in and connected to Wi-Fi. Got me some coffee doctored up so it no longer resembles ‘actual’ ‘coffee’. And, wait, what is that? Bottom right of the picture above. Oh yeah…got me some heated wild berry pie…a-la-mode. Mmm…mmm…mmm! Okay…now it was time to write.

I started one post…and I just wasn’t feeling it. Started another…again it wasn’t flowing. A third. Same feeling. Ugh! I am trying to get ahead of the game. Finally I am alone with my thoughts and it is like an abandoned warehouse up there in the land of V. I’m slightly annoyed…but not too much because, after all, I am out having pie and coffee.

I suddenly had an urge to text a dear friend of mine. I had seen her over the summer and we connected on a deep spiritual level that we never had before. We cried together as we spoke about God’s goodness and our own weakness. I wanted to keep in touch, but I just hadn’t. I decided last night would be an excellent night to ‘randomly’ text her and ask how I could pray for her. Shortly after I pressed send, I got my response. “Who is this, and how did you know I needed prayer?” I laughed a bit and told her it was her favorite Vanesa in the whole world. She. was. still. clueless. Ouch! ;-) Lol! I was starting to wonder if she had given me the wrong number over the summer.

We finally got it all worked out…and she told me what she needed prayer for. You have an opportunity to pray for her as well. You may know her. You may not. God does not require you to know the who or what. He only requires prayers of faith. She is having testing this coming week and she is scared. The possible diagnosis is not at all a good one! She covets the prayers of the righteous. She needs prayers of those who love her without the promise of ever knowing who she is. I will pass on your love. I promise! =)

As I read her texts, I began to smile. There was a time in my life when I would have been devastated by her news. There was a time when I would have accepted defeat for her. There was a time when I would  have hung my head in sorrow. But God. He has been preparing me over the first 32 years of my life. He has given me victory over everything that dared try to attack my body. Migraines that lasted 13-15 days out of a month…healed in Jesus name. Post partum depression that whispered the call of death…healed in Jesus name. A heart, bruised and broken, by the devastating loss of babies that I had already learned to love…healed in Jesus name!

My smile was not sinister. It was not cocky. It was not uncompassionate nor trying to minimize her situation. It was confident. I KNOW I serve a God that still heals. I’ve not only experienced it for myself…I’ve seen it. I’ve been one of the warriors praying for healing in someone else. I know that we have access to the power of the immeasurably more that Paul speaks of in Ephesians 3:20. I know the One who said, “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in Me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in My name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask Me for anything in My name, and I will do it.” (John 14:12-14)

Those words are from the lips of Jesus Himself. They are not cocky. They exude confidence in His Father. They don’t leave room for exceptions. They ask us to believe that He is speaking truth. To have faith in His truth. And to ask anything in His name. Any. Thing. I’m not putting expectations on Jesus that He didn’t already speak forth. I’m just choosing to put my faith in those words. In those verses above it does not say ‘may do’, ‘might do’, or ‘we’ll see’…which I’m told always means no without saying no. Ha-ha! I take it as literal. Will do means will do. Ask me for anything…means do just that. Even greater things than these…can be a dreamer’s dream or an exciting reality. Choose what you believe. Don’t let your head choose. Let your heart choose. If Christ resides there…He will trump your thoughts any day!

Have you ever been afraid to pray? Have you ever thought your attempt wasn’t good enough? Have you ever known that God was asking you to pray…and yet your anxiety about not sounding ‘holy’ enough kept you silent? Yep…me too! I used to live like that. I used to be ashamed of how pathetic I sounded. So what happened? How did I conquer my fear of ridicule?

Practice. Some of my most powerful time spent in prayer and worship is done while I’m driving alone in my vehicle. I talk/sing loud and proud. I even scream if I have to. Whatever. it. takes. to get my head out of the way, of speaking from my heart to God’s. I want sincerity to be evident. I want passion to be visible. I want truth to cover any lies I’ve been believing.

Another way I conquered my fear. I faced it. I stared it down. I told the enemy that he was no longer invited to my intimate time with my King. I scream prayed him right out of my vehicle. I took back the reigns that I had allowed the enemy to steer for a short time. They belong in the capable hands of Christ…not in the wicked scheme of the enemy. Prayer was to become a huge part of who I am in Christ! God knew I needed to know how to fight like a daughter of the King. Gloves are on…and my target is slithery and sneaky. I will not be silenced any more!
My middle son, Titus,   has been struggling with prayer lately. He is shy when asked to pray. He thinks it is more difficult than it is. I fail some days to encourage him gently…because I just want him to try. I get upset that he can’t think of anything to thank or ask God for. He just resorts to tears. I’m learning how to handle his fragile faith. I want it to explode with confidence. I want him to know the faith he is called to have as a child. I would love for you to pray for him too!!!! (And pray for my friend Sandy while you are at it!)

I remind Titus often that prayer is simply…us talking to God. It is not fancy. God does not require extravagance. He is unimpressed with religious words. He is Creator. You can not beat that power or impressiveness. Stop trying. Look at how He created each living thing. Unique and yet requiring the same simple, basic needs. Nourishment, air, water, sun. You replicate that…and then you can strive to fancy up your prayers. Until then…just talk. Thank. Praise. Request. Worship.

If you are scared to pray in front of others, please read carefully. This is a scheme of the enemy to try to render you powerless. To keep you silent as the powers of darkness war for you and those you love. When you pray…you access the power of God in your life. You stand in the gap for your friends and family. You willingly put yourself on the front line in the fight. It leaves you feeling fulfilled and useful. It leaves you feeling empowered and thankful. It is yours for the taking. God wants to hear from you all day long. He loves your voice. He wants to hear your heart in words. He knows them…but do you? Do you know how loved you are? Do you know how feisty you can get? Do you know what lies you’ve accepted as truth?

Speak up. Your time is now. If God brought you someone, today, who was lost and searching for truth…would you pray them into eternity? Could you? You have the tools. You have always had them. The Bible, Jesus in your heart, a voice, and a brain. Use them wisely. Just use them. That person who is in front of you. That person who is lost and facing forever torment. They could care less how fancy you sound. They just want to find someone who loves what they say they love. Who lives what they claim. And who looks for opportunity to be the hands and feet of Christ.

Practice. You will gain confidence with practice. And when you see the hand of God move in your life, or the life of someone you have prayed for, that practice will. bring. confidence. It will bring praise. It will bring joy and laughter. It will bring peace. It will bring thankfulness. It will bring passion to do it as often as you get the chance. I’m praying for your success, my friend. I have confidence that God will supply you with exactly what you need…and then immeasurably more than you can imagine!

The Choice (Day SIX-30 Day Challenge)

I’m diving right in today. No time to waste. I want you to picture yourself as a child again for just a moment.

Picture yourself playing baseball with a group of kids at recess. You are up to bat. The ball comes towards you. You close your eyes and swing the bat with all the might that you have. To your surprise, you hear the crack of a successful hit. You smile as you open your eyes just in time to see the ball sailing towards…a window in your classroom. The ball crashes through the glass! Sudden panic hits you. What is your instinct? Throw the bat and mingle with the other children. Blend in. Whatever you do…do. not. look. guilty.


Funny thing about guilt. It is almost impossible to hide. If you have gotten good at hiding it…you are on dangerous grounds…and I suggest you flee from your ways. Learn to fight with truth. We were born into this sinful nature that instinctively makes us want to hide when we are wrong. We must fight against. This same sinful nature calls us to stretch the truth. We must fight against. It calls us to blame everyone but who is really responsible. We MUST fight against.

We are loosing battles that God wanted to claim victory over because we aren’t fighting. It is easier not to fight at first. I know. I’ve so been there and done that!  It feels good to go with your natural response. But that good feeling fades so quickly. Immediately sometimes. And you are left feeling ashamed at what you have chosen.


You see the teacher walking towards you. Your eyes are shifting back and forth. You are looking for an escape. You are searching for a hole to dive into. You can’t just stand there! Before you know it the teacher is standing right in front of you. She asks what happened, and the crowd is silent. You are staring into the ground, and she sees. She says your name. Panic. What do you do?


Every day of your life is full of choices. Do you wake up early or do you hit snooze? Do you eat five donuts or do you eat fruit and granola? God gave us free will so that we would CHOOSE HIM! Not just on Sunday. Not just when it is convenient. Not just when we are in crisis. ALWAYS! He created us to worship Him…and we have every day, all day to choose whether we will do it or not.


You are still looking at the ground. You are trying to form an answer. You can choose truth or dare you lie. You can choose life or death with that tongue of yours. All of a sudden a genius idea pops into your head. Blame. It’s not your fault. You didn’t ‘throw’ the ball. It was clearly self-defense. The ball was going to hit you…so you swung. Dare you say it? Will it work? If you can just point your finger with enough conviction…maybe you won’t have to hear yourself breathing anymore out of pure anxiety.

Then just for a moment. You catch the eyes of the one you are about to accuse.   You wonder what would he get in your place? Could you really do it? It is scary that it even crossed your mind. You have not yet sinned…and so you choose.

“I did it. It was an accident.”

Your shame immediately turns to a sigh of relief. Fear is still there, but the weight, the heavy burden of choice has been lifted. You have chosen to put your accusing finger back in its holster. The kids are dismissed and you walk inside with the teacher. 

What does she do? She has a choice too. She takes you to the classroom and hands you a dustpan. She starts to clean the glass and asks you to help. She has not chosen to yell. She has not chosen to get angry. She even thanks you for telling the truth. Your choice of truth has set you free. Even though you are guilty, you do not feel guilty. You had a choice and you fought against the lie of the enemy. God was proud of you that day!


“My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness.” Proverbs 8:7     Sin lover…or sin loather…you choose.

I imagine you have stories of when you have chosen truth and stories of when you have chosen lies. Which one left you feeling satisfied? Which one provided a way out but quickly offered only shame and remorse? It’s not too late. You always have truth. You always have choice. You can still choose truth. Your character is forever being fine tuned. God is refining you so that you are more and more like Him. He sees you drowning in your choice…and He offers a way out. He has not turned against you. He is not ignoring you. That conviction you feel. That is because He refuses to accept less than what He has for you. But this 'free will' always leaves you with a choice. Good or evil.

What lies have you been believing? What half-truths have you been telling? Today I challenge you to choose truth. Whether you got away with your wrong choice or not…you do not have to live in guilt and shame. You still have the truth. You know it. God knows it. You might be nervous or dreading an uncomfortable conversation. But be honest with yourself, you live in discomfort knowing anyway.

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21 You can say you love truth. You can even convince me and those around you that you live truth. But God sees the fruit you are eating. He knows which ones nourish and enrich your life…and which decay and sour the effectiveness of your ministry. It is not too late. It is never too late! Restoration is close. Freedom is right on the tip of your tongue. Have the courage to speak to the mountains you’ve built by choice. It is your choice that got you in that valley…and it is only choice that will remove you from it. Your ministry is waiting for you to live and love what you know. “…if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20 Those are the words of Jesus, Himself. They can be trusted! NO thing will be impossible for you. Rise up!

God has great things in store for those who earnestly seek Him. He rejoices when you choose, on purpose, to fight against the scheme of the enemy. He longs to see you defeat. He loves to watch you dodge those fiery darts of the enemy. They fizzle out. They become extinguished because of your choice. Their power to harm you is gone. Who knew that the easiest way to send the enemy retreating in defeat was to choose truth? Righteousness. Trust me…it looks good on everyone! =)

Relevant Reflections-Storms of Life

A few Sunday’s ago my pastor read a very familiar story from the Word of God. This is what proves that the Presence of God is all through the Bible. I’ve read this story. I’ve heard this story. And yet…God spoke a simple and powerful truth to me that I hadn’t seen before. He is forever giving me a reason to stand in awe of Him! (I sooo LOVE that about Him!)

We are going to read from Mark 4:35-41. I know that we’ve all heard and read the story of when Jesus calmed the storm…but please take the time to read it again. God has something specific to show you. He refuses to leave us in the dark. And where HE is…darkness cannot be. That is why He is forever making His Word relevant in our days. Specific. He meets us in a new way that meets our specific needs for that time in our lives. Awe. I’m in awe!

 

Mark 4: 35-41 “That day when evening came, He said to His disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took Him along, just as He was, in the boat. There were also other boats with Him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to His disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey Him!””

 

I can paint you a simple picture with our last boating trip of the 2012 summer. Uncle Mike let my son Aiden drive the boat for a little while. Aiden…was SEVEN!

Intent. I guess that IS how you would want a seven year old to look while driving a boat. Intent and focused. No matter how nervous his mother is…pictures and videos still MUST be captured. And here is what his little brother was doing…… No fear. Zzzzzz

 

Let me point out my favorite parts of that story. First of all…it was Jesus’ idea to take the boat out! Oh how I needed to realize that truth…a LONG time ago. Haha! If it is HE that is leading you. If it is His idea that you are following. Even when you face obstacles and hardship…it does NOT indicate that you didn’t hear Him correctly. What it does indicate, is that you are about to learn to trust Him in a new area. You are about to see His faithfulness to your fresh, unfamiliar needs. Following the Voice of God will encounter some storms…BUT that same Voice will pierce through them in the moment you ask. (*Did that last statement just give you chills? If not…place two fingers on the inside of your wrist and check for a pulse. Haha! It did me!*)

That brings me to my next favorite part. When the disciples woke Jesus up…what did He do? Freak out? Nah. Cry? Nope. Run around like a crazy person? Not for a second! He rebuked that which He has dominion over. And what did He use to calm the raging storm? Not a spear…but speech. He spoke! Can you speak? Do you have power (because of the Jesus that lives within you) to speak to the storms in your life? YES!! Some days the truth hurts. Today, the truth sets you free my friend. :-D That voice is a powerful weapon in this storm you are waging now. Learn to use it to help instead of hurt!

 

So are you ready for what God spoke directly to me during the reading of this passage of scripture? This statement I’m about to make is the reason I woke up with my husband at 615 this morning. I knew someone needed this simple reality today. God whispered the following to me…”Did you catch that Vanesa? Jesus SAID to the waves… Just speak. Speak life even if the waves are higher than your vision!”

And that vision that God was referring to can be one of two things. Some days our storms, our problems, our circumstances can seem so deep that we can see nothing else. Our vision is blocked because all we are focusing on is the ‘why’ instead of the ‘how to move past’. So we literally, don’t have vision. It is being blocked. Which, by the way, makes the enemy beam with pride. His storm is doing exactly what he planned.

Then there is God vision. There is the glimpse that God gives you of what your future plans are to be. For example, God has given me a vision to write my own devotional. Sometimes the reality of how crazy my life currently is, with four young children, prevents me from seeing that vision ever coming true…but I KNOW IT WILL. I know that God has a season and right now, I am developing my own style. I am developing a deeper love for His knowledge. And I am learning to listen to Him through the calm and through the storm…and to come out praising Him either way.

When the enemy can keep us discouraged from completing God’s specific and intimate vision for us…this too is proving his storm to be effective for what he had planned. Picture the smile on his face. Let that awful, snickering smile motivate you today. Let that anger rise up within you and aim it the correct ‘power’. Let the enemy feel the wrath of *insert your name here* because God just revealed his scheme to you. Those waves just lost their height. The fear that he was holding over your life has just lost its power.

How is your vision? Is it blocked? Or have you forgotten you had ever seen a vision? Speak to your storms today. Don’t wait another second. Let the calm wash over your circumstance. God. Has. Got. This!

Have Some Faith Man…Don’t Look!

A few Sunday’s ago my pastor was talking about faith. It is a normal and expected topic when attending church, don’t you think? ;) What is baffling to me, is how I have been taught my whole life about faith…and yet still have SOOO much to learn. I still have eye openers. Light bulb moments. Jaw droppers. I just love how God is so amazingly clever in how He gets through these thick skulls we have. Haha! We can read the a passage of Scripture that we undoubtedly have read before…and God can highlight it in a way that makes it as if it is the first. Fresh. New. Real. Relevant! That is just one more proof in our days that He is living and active!

Let’s take a moment to list some things that are birthed from faith. Maybe this faith we strive to strengthen isn’t as necessary as we make it out to be. (IT IS! I was playing the sarcasm card there. And since you can’t hear my tone…I want you to KNOW! I have not lost it. ;) )

 

 

Evangelism. You would have no reason to evangelize if you, yourself didn’t have faith in the hope of your future in Heaven. You would have no confidence to evangelize if you didn’t have faith in the Author of your words. Christ’s perfect life, undeserved death, and miraculous resurrection are all the reasons and confidence that you need to speak. He took the life of each of us seriously. He is asking that you do the same. And not just with your own. We are to take every human life just as serious as He did when He gave His life up for us all.

Hope. Think about people in this world that you know right now who do not know Jesus as their Savior. What do they have to hope in? They should be dreading and terrified of when their life ends. Especially not knowing when, how, and what is to come. If they DO know what is to come…they have no reason to feel hope in their days now. What do they have to look forward to? Torment.

We have everything to hope in. No matter what the enemy throws at us…he is not our future. He was our past…but we have been delivered from eternity with him. Hope is a no-brainer. If we aren’t seeing our hope… We. Aren’t. Using. Our. Brain. Simple! And if we aren’t sharing this hope we have… We. Aren’t. Using. Our. Heart. Ouch!

Grace. Why in the world would we ever extend grace to anyone if we didn’t understand, by faith, that God’s grace trumps all else? He had/has absolutely no reason to extend grace to any one SINGLE human ever to live. Ever! After all, we are born into sin. We learn to sin before we learn much else. But God is a God of agape love. (Can I get a hallelujah?!) He sees His children who have chosen salvation through His Son, Jesus, as pure. Blameless. Without blemish. So why is it that we so easily do the exact opposite? Why is it that we see each other as a teen going through puberty…covered with blemishes? Sometimes we even get really close to inspect others with a magnifying glass. Looking for any sign of even the tiniest of blackheads forming under the skin. Then, we won’t let it go. Whispers. Gossip. Things blown out of proportion. Where is the grace in that?! If you are worthy of being magnified under the same scope than by all means…inspect away. If you fall short…try grace. It will look good on anyone! ;)

Forgiveness. Are you squirming? Forgiveness is tied right into grace isn’t it? How can I forgive someone who doesn’t even understand and/or care how bad they have hurt me?! Here is my challenge to that statement. Ask God…if, and only if you are braced and prepared for His answer…to break your heart for what breaks His. Your eyes will be opened to so much hurt and pain that you never saw before. That magnifying glass you gripped tightly will gather dust on a shelf because you will be spending so much time praying for and speaking life to the lost and broken. You will not have time for trivial things. Reality…there are people dying. There are souls heading for eternal suffering. There are wars going on in the Heavenly realms that could use some earthly warriors. Forgiveness is only a choice because we have made it an option. To God…it is an absolute.

Provision. Oh this one hits home. This is a stumbling block for so many. Whether you are rakin’ in the dough or scraping bottom; we are all to rely on God for our provision. Isn’t it interesting that it is difficult for both ends of the spectrum. Those who have worked their way to success sometimes have difficulty remembering Who it is that provided life for them. They don’t need a Savior to work miracles with their finances. They don’t need to have faith for tomorrow. Being ‘self-sufficient’ is not always the blessing it appears to be. And then there’s those who work all day and still come up short. They can also have a hard time trusting, by faith, that God is still working on their behalf while they are slumbering. They sometimes feel as though God is just watching them squirm. Faith though. Faith is being sure of things unseen.

Let’s look at a verse that can help put things into a simple perspective. Hebrews 13:5 (NIV) “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”” I can just see some of you out there, minds turning, a bit of bitterness rising. You might be saying, in your head, ‘How in the world could I ever even think of becoming a lover of money when I have…none?! I don’t have money, that is the problem!!’ My child, read it again. It does not say that you have money, it says that you love it. You constantly think of it. You dream of the day when you can go buy whatever you want. You covet what your neighbor has. So what does contentment look like? Dive into the Word of God and find out!! You will not regret it!!

 

Let’s end with the four challenges and a quote that my pastor gave us when it comes to faith.

1) Don’t look at what you can’t do. (No fear.)

2) Don’t look at what you can do. (No pride.)

3) Don’t look at what you want to do. (No selfish ambition.)

4) Rather, discover what you’re supposed to (called to) do. (No limit!)

“Is God impressed with what you are capable of? Nope. But when you do it His power He will delight in you!”

 

Actively look for ways to strengthen your faith this week. Ask God for His revelation on areas in your life that need work. Maybe you have no problem trusting for provision, but are not showing grace. Whatever it is…be intentional! God did not leave your salvation to chance. He was absolutely intentional. Let your faith prove to Him that you are grateful for His sacrifice.