Dear Dad

As I sit here at my desk, drinking my coffee and eating my grits, I am thinking of you.  I can't help but to think of you whenever I have grits (and sweet tea).  As I type it is clear to me that I have a mission field in mind this morning.  You.  I have been relentlessly praying for you these last couple of weeks.  Though I will admit, that some days I don't have much to say.  During those times I am just still before the Lord.  Quiet, as I just let Him see my heart's cry.  I keep asking Him..."What am I to do?"

God's response...tell him what I want him to know.  Speak my Heart through yours and let it be Me that takes if from there.

If I never see you face to face again...here is what I want you to know.  

You have value to me.  You are irreplaceable.  Your constant prayers are a vital part of why I am who I am today.  God heard every one and He has stayed close to me through every tear I have shed.  He has protected me and healed me over and over again.

You are a part of my story.  My faith.  My ministry.  My family.  We will carry on the legacy that Jesus began in and through you.

Your grandchildren love you.  They love to hear your voice.  (My daughter says you sound like a cowboy.  Haha!)  They think of you often.  They want desperately to make some memories with you.  Until then...they will continue to love you and pray for their Grandpa James.

Your mission field looks much different than most; BUT, it is still your mission field.  God continues to place you where He knows you are needed.  You speak of your Savior boldly and without an ounce of regret.  My grandpa was also like that...and I very much respect that passion in you both.  You are not done on this side of Heaven.  God's work through you has not yet been completed.  Your children and your grandchildren still need your fervent prayers when they rise to begin a day and while they sleep.  We need you to fight for us and with us.

Your days are numbered...and only God knows the beginning of your eternity.  There is a reason that He does not give that decision to us.  It's because we are not all-knowing.  We are not omni-present.  We can't see what is to come.  We can't think past our own perspective some days; to see how far the  ripple of ending our life would extend.   

I know that the enemy will not stop pursuing us because he fears our prayers.  He shudders at the sound of our voices.  He wants nothing more than to silence the loudest advocates for the cause of Christ.  We have an eternal mission in our days...and we courageously walk in our calling.  We are the worst type of Christian to satan.  Confident.  Bold.  Sassy.  And relentless....     Even when I am feeling weak I whisper, and the enemy hears it.  I keep saying these words over and over again...

"I WILL NEVER STOP FIGHTING YOU!"  

I want the enemy to hear my voice.  I want satan to know that he will not dictate my future.  No matter what he throws at me, I will not bow to him.  I need you to fight, Dad.  My kids need you to fight, Dad.  God has spoken and He is not finished with you, Warrior.  I bow beside you in prayer, Mighty Warrior.  I place my hand on your back, scarred from battle.  I see the places where the arrows that were meant for me...pierced you.  I am thankful for your fight.  Beyond grateful.  

But now I need you to stand up with your armor on and your knees shaking...and tell the enemy Who your Daddy is.  I need you to boldly approach the Throne of Grace, for it is there that you will find rest and strength.  I need you to kneel at the foot of the cross and proclaim that you, a son of the King, will submit to His authority for the rest of your days.  You have a family to live for!

Until I see you again....

I love you so much Dad! 

  -Sugar 

Sum of the Lies Women Believe

If I had a penny for every lie I've ever believed...I would own stuff. Alotta stuff. It is in-cred-ib-ly infuriating for me to take a moment to think, for just a minute or two (so it doesn't become a 'dwell'), about some of the lies I believed in the last week. The enemy strung me along with his maddening nonsense for most it. I knew it was him. My Father does not, would not say those things to me. And yet...I could not shake them. They lingered in my thought patterns. I was reminded of them just when I started to forget.

God is using last week for this. #Romans8:28 I know that I am not the only woman who believes lies about themselves. I am not the only woman who entertains thoughts that were not originally hers. I am not alone in this battle of the mind. If I was...there would not be SO many books already written about it.

God spoke to me yesterday while I was push mowing my lawn. I'll admit I was complaining, in my head, about doing it; even though...it was a perfect day for mowing. Not too hot. Breezy. Sunny. It was nothing like the monsoon our NW Pennsylvania summer was last year. Nor like the thick, muggy weather we had last week. I came in for a drink on one of my many 'breaks' and saw the sweetest message about my post from yesterday. When I went back to mow...God started speaking to me about today's post. See how all it took to break my crappy thought pattern was one sentence of encouragement from a random person. (When God asks you to offer words that are nourishing to another's soul...even if they seem small...do it! You can be the change in someone's downward spiral of a day.)

Let's move on to some of the lies. Some I have believed. Some I have not. The same will go with you.

-If i am larger than a -0....I am not and can not be beautiful

-If I am a size -0...i know i am beautiful and am therefore happy, always.

(FYI *I, on purpose, chose a number that is not real. It is not about a size, it is about God's masterpiece, You.*)

-Pinterest is real life! (...for everyone,but you.)

-If your kids are wearing 'non-church clothing' to church...you are clearly lazy and don't care.

-If your kids are dressed nicely at church, your morning was full of nothing but peaceful, sweet moments captured on camera
*There was clearly no screaming to brush. your. stinking. hair.  Or, frustrated last minute changes of clothes because the mud puddle was just. too. much. to. resist.*

-Your job defines you.

-Their job defines them.

-Perfection is attainable.

-Women who are in ministry 'have it all together'.
-Women who aren't in ministry aren't doing enough.

-Pastor's wives don't have bad days because they are super-spiritual, extraordinary beings.
-Pastor's wives don't understand real life, because they don't have to live it.

-Stay at home moms are not doing enough.
-Working moms are doing too much.

Comparison. It is not something we had to learn to do. It came very naturally to us at a young age. The problem is that those things that we don't have to work to become...are, most times, what we are to be fighting against. What we need to ask ourselves is, would God compare me to another sinful, created being? Is that consistent with the nature of our God who is so full of love that He sent his son to die for those He knew would reject Him? OR, would he instead see us THROUGH a Man who was tempted in every way...and was sinless?

Did you notice the title of today's post? It was purposeful. I know the difference between some and sum, promise! It was an intentional decision to use the word sum. Alone, each lie we hear and carry on with us for any length of time, might not feel too burdensome. Add a couple more and they become a bit more noticeable. What about when we have heard, accepted, and are dragging along a large sum of lies. Some of them from family members. Some of them from friends. Some of them from strangers. Some of them concocted in your own brain. It becomes increasingly harder to remember who you really are. It becomes even more difficult to BE who you really are because one by one you unknowingly let someone else's thoughts define you. <--- That someone...satan.

For today, try to take captive, every. thought. that God would not say to your heart.  He would not remind you of your mistakes, without truth to dismantle them.  He would not dwell on your flaws and weaknesses for the purpose of keeping you in a depressed state.  If you KNOW His voice, you know..."God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:17  He takes your life seriously.  Very seriously. I heard it said one day recently, "You were worth Jesus to God."

Your worth is not in anything that you can acquire here.  Your worth is not in how stylish you can look.  Your worth is not in your position at work.  Your worth is in Christ.  He was there at the beginning, and He will be there at your end.  If you believe that God sent His only Son to die for your sins, weaknesses, shortcomings, thoughts, actions, words...then He is Who you listen to.  It is HIS opinion of you that matters.  It is He that you will answer to for your choices...and it is He that is waiting to free you from the lies that overwhelm your days.

As for me...I would LOVE a chance to pray for you!  In person, over the phone, through social media, through email...whatever it may be.  It would help fulfill my purpose in posting today...if I could help you find a truth from the Living Word to cover over each lie you've been believing.  Please send them to me. One at a time. A whole list.  Just reach out and gain strength in your days. Let God intervene and stop your stinkin' thinkin.

Age Smage (Day TWENTY FIVE-30 Day Challenge)

Eric, my husband, got an opportunity to preach in our church this past Sunday. (He did amazing! Although when I tell him he kinda rolls his eyes and says that I 'have' to say that because I am his wife. Lol! For real though, I was so proud of him!!) Having been married to him since 2001...and dating him for quite a few years before that...I've heard all of his stories. Or so I thought. =) One of the stories he told that morning absolutely floored me! 

He recounted a story of when he was a little boy. Somewhere between the ages of 6-8, he had gone to a playground with his father. His dad was talking...and he was off playing with another little boy. The boy had a lot of questions about God. Eric was answering the ones he knew and the ones he didn't, he would run over to his dad, ask the question and run back with the answer. At the end of that conversation Eric prayed and this little boy accepted Jesus. Don't get me wrong, that IS highly impressive at his young age...but what floored me was what Eric said next. "I led this little boy to Christ, and yet I, myself, didn't accept Christ as my Savior until I was TEN!"

God does not make mistakes. He does not work by chance. He knew that Eric was willing. He knew that Eric was bold and unafraid. He equipped Eric (with the help of  his dad) even before Jesus was invited to live in his own heart. 

It is all about being equipped. To be equipped is to have the tools or qualities necessary for performance. When we think of evangelizing, is it scary? When we think of praying with someone to accept Christ, is it terrifying? If you are saying yes you are not alone. I was there at a time in my life. I actually went to a summer seminar to learn to evangelize. And when I got the opportunity to tell my testimony I cried. Not in fear. Not because of nerves. But because this man who literally had NOTHING...was so hungry for our hope. My tears for him were what made him accept Christ that day. God will equip you...I guarantee it takes a lot less than you think. =) You did not have to do the hard part. Our part pales in comparison to what Jesus had to do for that salvation. It's the least we can do!

So, yesterday, morning my oldest son was awake and standing next to my bed, super excited about the trip he was leaving on. How do I know how excited he was? First, it.was.5:13.a.m. Second, he woke up and immediately started doing homework. Haha! He saw the light on in my bedroom, knew that I was already awake and he remembered that he had a couple pages of school work to finish for the days that he was going to miss. Luckily, they weren't math! Whew...they were Bible pages. I can do Bible before six in the morning...math, ugh...not so much. Lol! 

I was going between writing my blog post, helping him understand what he's supposed to be doing and helping define words like 'equipped'. At one point on his paper there was a scale that ranged from 0-10. Above the scale was written, 'Color in the scale from left to right, stopping at the place that shows how equipped you feel to tell people about Jesus.' I was silent. I so badly wanted to peek, but I left him alone after defining the word equipped. I was minding my own business but I was SOOOO CURIOUS to see what he would pick.

Can you see how far he colored?!?! That is a SEVEN!!!!! I'd say he feels pretty confident in his ability to tell people about Jesus. May I remind you that my son is only eight years old!!! I was so impressed. It brought a huge smile to my face as I raised my hand to high five him. I only pray that his confidence only grows as he matures. I pray that he's just like his daddy in this area. Without fear!

I actually would say that Aiden is already on his way to being just like his dad in many ways. For example, when my husband was in school he was a great swimmer. His event was the 200-yard IM (Individual Medley). It was two lengths of the pool for each stroke; butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke and freestyle. Last year was Aiden's first year swimming and one of the swim meets was full of odd events that they didn't normally swim. Aiden, on that day, got to swim the 100-yard IM. It was so cool for me and my husband to get to see. I remember being there...as my husband's then girlfriend...and cheering him on in his own event during our high school days. To do the same for my son was almost surreal. (Incidentally, Aiden won his first competitive IM that day. All of his opponents were disqualified for one reason or another. Haha!)

Another similarity they have, is that Aiden also led someone to Christ at a young age just like his dad. I remember the day. My kids were playing in the dining room. Aiden and Ariel, both a few years younger than they are now, we having a conversation.

"Do you have Jesus in your heart?"-Aiden
"No, what does that mean?"-Ariel

I just stood in the kitchen. Silent. I wanted to see where this conversation would lead. I wanted him to have his own voice of faith. He can't live on mine. He can't live on his dad's. And he understood, that Ariel needed Jesus in her heart too. He explained with child-like faith. And then he asked 'The Question'.

"Do you want to accept Jesus into your heart?"-Aiden
"Yes! I don't want to go to hell!"-Ariel

And so they prayed. My son, led his sister to Christ because he KNEW he could. He has the same power that I do. He has access to the same power that Jesus had. Aiden has a powerful ministry ahead of him. He is a worshiper. He loves easily...and without condition. And he is not afraid. He has seen miracles. He has been a part of the prayers that helped those miracles become reality. I encourage you to live your faith out loud in front of your children...but be sure they have their own. Let them first pray for healing...so that their faith can become stronger. And be willing to learn from them. God has put children in your life for a reason...do not see yourself above. They are simple...and sometimes it cuts through a lot of crap that distorts something you've made complicated.

What about you? Do you ever discount yourself from 'having to witness' because of your age? You think you are too young. Or too old. Or maybe it is your social make-up. You say you are too shy or too abrasive. If, today, you met someone who didn't know Jesus as their Savior...what would you do? Would you feel unworthy to talk and pray with them to receive salvation? Or would you dive right in, knowing that while you might not have the answer to EVERY single question they come up with, the answer to eternal death and suffering is easy. Accept Jesus. Follow His ways. Learn His heart. Worship Him. Flee from sin. Share Him as often as you can!

On a scale of 0-10 where would you rate yourself on how confident you are to share your faith? How can you make an effort to bump that number up? You are equipped. You have Jesus. You have the Holy Spirit. You have the heart of God written in the Words of the Bible. You have family that will pray for your faith to become stronger. I don't care if it is your actual family...or your spiritual family. Ask them to commit to lift you up in prayer in this area specifically! IT is vital. It is valuable.

If ever there was a time when I feel like people should have hung onto Jesus' every word...it was right after He was resurrected. I mean seriously...not one of them should have doubted His true identity and power...but they did. What did Jesus tell them though?

"Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.' " Matthew 28:18-20

The above passage usually titled, 'The Great Commission', is for you. It isn't just for pastors. It isn't just for those with seasoned faith. It isn't just for the young, nor for the old. It isn't just for the disciples of Jesus. It is for every single soul that has accepted Jesus into their heart. That includes you my friend. If you are leaving the job for everyone else....anyone else but yourself...you are missing it. Jesus Himself, was the one speaking those words to us. If He were in front of you now...would it have a greater impact? Would you fight Him on it?

If you have breath...you need to speaking for Jesus. If you have a  heart beat...you need to be loving the lost (and the saved!) If you have sight...you need to be looking for opportunities to be used. If you can hear...listen for the voice of God. He is speaking. He is telling you where your ministry is. He is whispering thoughts of hope that someone needs to cling to. He is reminding you of Scripture so that you can share truth over lies. You are not dead...stop acting like you are. You have hope...share it at all costs. Wouldn't you want it for yourself? What if the person that helped  you to come to know Jesus had been too afraid? Or too old? Or too young? Or too shy? Or too busy? Or too.....

Eternity is a long time! Be a part of changing someone's eternity today! I guarantee you will be blessed...and they will be forever changed! That is a win, win! =)

Planting Weeds (Day TWELVE-30 Day Challenge)

Ahhhh gardening. It does not matter if it is fruit and veggies or bushes and flowers; it is an enjoyably therapeutic pastime for some and an incredibly frustrating disappointment for others. Raise your hand if you are a gardener. You totally did it didn't you? Bahahaha...you are so predictable. ;-) I guarantee if you raised your hand it is because you either enjoy it...or have had success with it.

Whether you are a successful gardener or not...you can still appreciate the work and simple concepts of the labor intensive process. You put the time, sweat and work in...you yield the blessing of the crop. Or you labor, cut and prune and you enjoy the beauty of some of God's finest handiwork. 

Gardening for me is so NOT like therapy. If anything...it causes the need for anger management. Lol! ;-) For me it isn't about our success in getting the crop to grow...but about what destroys it before it is mature and ripe enough for use. My husband and I learned from our first garden, that a fence was necessary on our farm of 'roaming goats'. Lol! We have two short, plump pygmy goats. Salt and Pepper. Yes, Salt is white and Pepper is brown. We are not the most creative bunch. Lol! So this spring, during the planting season, we got smart. We built a raised garden and surrounded it with an electric fence. No more goat problems right? Right!

BUT, just so we are clear and incase you were not aware...chickens can fly over electric fences. :-/ So far this season...I have gotten ONE lonely tomato from my garden. I chopped it up immediately and put it in a taco salad I was eating for lunch that day. I didn't want there to be any chance of that precious fruit of my labor getting eaten or dropped. Lol! Every other sign of life has been eaten just as quick as it began to grow. My cute little, greens tomatoes...devoured before they were ready. Grrrrrr!

Let's spin this garden to a faith lesson. In Psalm 145:13-14 David writes, "Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your domain endures through all generations. The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down."

Think of a promise God has given you. Do you KNOW, do you really honestly trust the words of this Psalm? Do you wholeheartedly believe that no matter the circumstantial evidence...God IS faithful to ALL of His promises? Do. not. doubt. them. Do not waver. Hold on tight because He has not forgotten you. Read and reread the above verse as often as you have a tiny seed of doubt. Do not let it take root in your heart!

Let's say that the promises of God are like seeds planted along the path you are traveling. The enemy immediately comes along behind and surrounds those brand new baby seeds with weeds. his goal is to choke out that seed quickly. he wants you to give up on that promise before you've had a chance to really grasp it. he wants you to give up before that dream takes root. he wants you to shrug it off as a dream rather than a promise. he wants you to die without those promises ever becoming reality because of the weeds he strategically placed to choke them out.

The weeds are a nuisance. They destroy without thought or remorse. They just grow because they are planted. They are not to be held responsible. It is the planter. The hand that planted them is to blame. Have you ever been a planter of seeds of doubt? I remember the first person I ever told that I wanted to write a book. The first thought that came back at me was that it was just a dream that probably would never happen. I let that weed grow tall and strong. My promise from God was hidden in the shadow of doubt. Then one day I was strong enough and smart enough to know how vital weeding is to a healthy garden.

The weeds of doubt and untruth had to be ripped out. I found truth in the word of God...and I stood on it. I know God's track record. I know His scale of goodness and mercy is tipped in my favor. I know His desire for my life...because He told me. He showed me in a vision. I'm in constant communication with Him. So now those weeds don't. Have. A. Stinkin'. Chance. :-)

Let's go back to the planter of seeds. We've all planted a few. Hopefully without intent. Does this type of gardener currently describe you? When a Christian comes to you and tells you of a aspiration or life goal...are you the first to squelch it? Are you the first cast that shadow of doubt? You feel like you are just being a realist. You are excusing your actions because you are merely trying to save them from disappointment. 

BUT...you are not God. You can't even get onto a scale with Him because if He dropped a even a hangnail from His finger onto that scale, He'd send you sailing though the air. Your thoughts are not His thoughts. They are too small and simple minded. They are too into self. They are too limited by your view.

Hold onto God's promises for yourself...and be passionate about it. Mediocrity has been done...and it is not appealing to anyone that desires life over death. Passion is what draws people in. Christ is what keeps them there. And when you hear an aspiration of a fellow believer that seems like a stretch...stretch. Allow your faith be stretched. Believe and pray against your own tendency to have unbelief. Let your mind be opened to the promises of God. 

Stop. planting. weeds. Stop standing in the way of the Son. Stop stomping on others promises because you are also missing out on your own. Stop devouring others dreams with your own doubt in the Word of God. INSTEAD...share your crop of promise. Teach others how to have successful gardening experiences. That is how we believers in the Word roll.

"God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?" Numbers 23:19-20

Live Love Out LOUD (Day ELEVEN -30 Day Challenge

What is your role or position in the church? Seat warmer...or active member? Fly on the wall looking for crap to get your hands into...or prayer warrior? Trouble-maker? Gossiper? Councilor? Teacher?  You will notice that some of those roles listed are not ones that you would hopefully willingly take on. The reality is though...that the enemy loves church struggle. He loves Christians fighting their own. I imagine the only other things that make him happier are when those struggles keep people outside of the walls of church. When people see the anger between people who are called first to love everyone as they do themselves...and want nothing to do with it. 

I've seen it firsthand. I've known the person who said, 'If that's what Christianity is about. If that's how love treats people...I want no part of it.' And if it doesn't break your heart, and make you want to flee from how you've been contributing to the enemy's scheme; lay on your face and pray. You are walking a road that you don't want to go down. It only leads to destruction in your life and doubt in the people watching it.

"No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord."  Isaiah 54:17  Let's write that verse again with expanded definitions in a couple of the words. I will italicize the definitions that I want to stand out to you. 

No weapon made or formed with concentrated effort against you will triumph, and you will prove to be false/erroneous every tongue that charges wrongdoing against you.

I don't want there to be any question on what that verse says. I want you to know that these weapons intentionally created to harm you...will not win. I want you to know that those who throw accusations out against you...will be proven wrong. It doesn't say they will give up accusing. It says you will be able to prove their accusations are false, fake, untrue. And if they choose to keep speaking them...they will only be destroying their own credibility. Pray for them, because they are being deceived. And sometimes...they like that deception. And that is even scarier yet. 

What if this isn't happening? What if these people accusing you seem to be winning? You are the difference. You can allow the weapons to be effective...or can you allow God to be God. He is always the victor. He is always the One to go to for truth. He has given us the Holy Spirit for times such as this. We can pray and the Holy Spirit will intercede for us.

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance to God's will." Romans 8:26-27

Let today be a new day.

 A fresh start. Go to the people you are accusing and ask for forgiveness. Go to the people you are gossiping to and let them know your words have been proven to be false. THOSE will be actions worthy of the cross. Those will speak truth over lies. Those are more honest and real than the things you were trying to fabricate. Be worthy of your calling.

"The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we might also share in His glory." Romans 8:16-17

Do you live, do you love...like you are the co-heir of Christ? Christ's inheritance. His eternal blessings are yours to take part in. You get a portion of what only He should deserve. Do you love like you are royalty? Sons and daughters of the King are not high and mighty...but they know the King of kings. Not only do they/we know Him. We are related to Him! We are proud to be His child. We have abundant provision. We have eternal promise. We have faithful help in our darkest hours.

"As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:10-11

What have been the purpose of your words lately? No one is condemning you for falling into the scheme of the enemy. We've all been there. We've all failed. The impressive thing is when we realize it AND FLEE FROM IT! What are trying to accomplish with your words? Are they helping others to bud and flourish? If not, change your purpose in speaking. Be intentional...because the enemy is. He works with intent to destroy and kill. He hates buds that he knows will soon bloom. He wants to dry up the Living Water that flows from our words of life. But he forgets...the Son always wins! 

The Choice (Day SIX-30 Day Challenge)

I’m diving right in today. No time to waste. I want you to picture yourself as a child again for just a moment.

Picture yourself playing baseball with a group of kids at recess. You are up to bat. The ball comes towards you. You close your eyes and swing the bat with all the might that you have. To your surprise, you hear the crack of a successful hit. You smile as you open your eyes just in time to see the ball sailing towards…a window in your classroom. The ball crashes through the glass! Sudden panic hits you. What is your instinct? Throw the bat and mingle with the other children. Blend in. Whatever you do…do. not. look. guilty.


Funny thing about guilt. It is almost impossible to hide. If you have gotten good at hiding it…you are on dangerous grounds…and I suggest you flee from your ways. Learn to fight with truth. We were born into this sinful nature that instinctively makes us want to hide when we are wrong. We must fight against. This same sinful nature calls us to stretch the truth. We must fight against. It calls us to blame everyone but who is really responsible. We MUST fight against.

We are loosing battles that God wanted to claim victory over because we aren’t fighting. It is easier not to fight at first. I know. I’ve so been there and done that!  It feels good to go with your natural response. But that good feeling fades so quickly. Immediately sometimes. And you are left feeling ashamed at what you have chosen.


You see the teacher walking towards you. Your eyes are shifting back and forth. You are looking for an escape. You are searching for a hole to dive into. You can’t just stand there! Before you know it the teacher is standing right in front of you. She asks what happened, and the crowd is silent. You are staring into the ground, and she sees. She says your name. Panic. What do you do?


Every day of your life is full of choices. Do you wake up early or do you hit snooze? Do you eat five donuts or do you eat fruit and granola? God gave us free will so that we would CHOOSE HIM! Not just on Sunday. Not just when it is convenient. Not just when we are in crisis. ALWAYS! He created us to worship Him…and we have every day, all day to choose whether we will do it or not.


You are still looking at the ground. You are trying to form an answer. You can choose truth or dare you lie. You can choose life or death with that tongue of yours. All of a sudden a genius idea pops into your head. Blame. It’s not your fault. You didn’t ‘throw’ the ball. It was clearly self-defense. The ball was going to hit you…so you swung. Dare you say it? Will it work? If you can just point your finger with enough conviction…maybe you won’t have to hear yourself breathing anymore out of pure anxiety.

Then just for a moment. You catch the eyes of the one you are about to accuse.   You wonder what would he get in your place? Could you really do it? It is scary that it even crossed your mind. You have not yet sinned…and so you choose.

“I did it. It was an accident.”

Your shame immediately turns to a sigh of relief. Fear is still there, but the weight, the heavy burden of choice has been lifted. You have chosen to put your accusing finger back in its holster. The kids are dismissed and you walk inside with the teacher. 

What does she do? She has a choice too. She takes you to the classroom and hands you a dustpan. She starts to clean the glass and asks you to help. She has not chosen to yell. She has not chosen to get angry. She even thanks you for telling the truth. Your choice of truth has set you free. Even though you are guilty, you do not feel guilty. You had a choice and you fought against the lie of the enemy. God was proud of you that day!


“My mouth speaks what is true, for my lips detest wickedness.” Proverbs 8:7     Sin lover…or sin loather…you choose.

I imagine you have stories of when you have chosen truth and stories of when you have chosen lies. Which one left you feeling satisfied? Which one provided a way out but quickly offered only shame and remorse? It’s not too late. You always have truth. You always have choice. You can still choose truth. Your character is forever being fine tuned. God is refining you so that you are more and more like Him. He sees you drowning in your choice…and He offers a way out. He has not turned against you. He is not ignoring you. That conviction you feel. That is because He refuses to accept less than what He has for you. But this 'free will' always leaves you with a choice. Good or evil.

What lies have you been believing? What half-truths have you been telling? Today I challenge you to choose truth. Whether you got away with your wrong choice or not…you do not have to live in guilt and shame. You still have the truth. You know it. God knows it. You might be nervous or dreading an uncomfortable conversation. But be honest with yourself, you live in discomfort knowing anyway.

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21 You can say you love truth. You can even convince me and those around you that you live truth. But God sees the fruit you are eating. He knows which ones nourish and enrich your life…and which decay and sour the effectiveness of your ministry. It is not too late. It is never too late! Restoration is close. Freedom is right on the tip of your tongue. Have the courage to speak to the mountains you’ve built by choice. It is your choice that got you in that valley…and it is only choice that will remove you from it. Your ministry is waiting for you to live and love what you know. “…if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20 Those are the words of Jesus, Himself. They can be trusted! NO thing will be impossible for you. Rise up!

God has great things in store for those who earnestly seek Him. He rejoices when you choose, on purpose, to fight against the scheme of the enemy. He longs to see you defeat. He loves to watch you dodge those fiery darts of the enemy. They fizzle out. They become extinguished because of your choice. Their power to harm you is gone. Who knew that the easiest way to send the enemy retreating in defeat was to choose truth? Righteousness. Trust me…it looks good on everyone! =)

They See You Loud & Clear (Day THREE-30 Day Challenge)

I’ve been thinking about this post on day three since I hit ‘Publish’ on day one. I’ve been a bit anxious about it. Today…is my test. Today I am starting completely from nothing. And today I HAVE to write in a timely manner, as it is a school day for my three oldest children. Eeeek…let’s do this! =)

“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the Word of Life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.” Philippians 2:14-16

I warned you that I am becoming a woman of God who focuses on specific words in Scripture. I am tired of skimming over radically, life-changing words. Let’s re-read the very first part of that passage in Philippians. “Do everything without complaining or arguing.” Okay, now get out your Bible and notebook from yesterday. I’d love for you to underline that whole passage I highlighted above. Circle the word…everything. Now open your notebook and write a list of things  would not be included in the word ‘everything’. Done? Okay good…THOSE are the things you are allowed to argue and complain about. If you wrote down anything at all…you didn’t understand the exercise. Haha. It’s okay…there is no condemnation here. Just flip the page. Start fresh. I want you to be staring at a blank page in a notebook. Picture it the next time you are speaking argumentative or complaining words.

For the most part, the Word of God really is simple. The enemy takes joy in telling us otherwise. he loves to confuse. he loves to whisper thoughts of doubt. he loves to discourage before we even start. he knows that if we open up our Bible and dive into it…we WILL be forever changed. he knows the Word better than you and I. (Ouch!) he can see us when we are studying it. he can hear us when we pray it. he knows how important it is that we meet together with other ‘like-minded’ Christians and learn it. And each choice we make to further our knowledge of Christ…we have a spectator.

The cool thing is…that we also have an army of angels that are cheering for us while we read Scripture. They know that, “The Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.” Hebrews 4:12-13 In my Bible I have these verses underlined and starred. I drew some fancy, spiked half sun looking things around the words ‘living’ and ‘active’. And lastly, I drew a sweet sword. (Okay. Okay. I will admit that the sword I drew is awful. I am so NOT artsy in my drawing ability. Seriously…tears of laughter and amazement (at my pure genius lack of ability) when I tried to play the Post-It Note game. Lol!)

Non-Christians. New Christians. Skeptical Christians. They are watching. They are waiting for us to live this verse. They really do WANT us to. They are looking for a people willing to actually LIVE how the Word says to. Can you say that you do EVERYTHING without arguing? Can you say that you never complain about anything? This is not a guilt trip I am taking you on. Don’t go packing your bags for that trip. I promise I DO NOT BELIEVE that I am not holier than you. I am not above. I am with you in these trenches. I see the flaming arrows that are flying by from the enemy. Arrows of shame. Arrows laced with guilt. Arrows covered with words waiting to be spoken in the heat of your anger. Some days I stand up, close my eyes and allow them to pierce me.

And once that arrow is in my hand, in my heart I choose where they go. Sadly enough, there are days that I dare use them against those I claim to love. Those are the days I am not living in line with these Words from Paul in the passage from Philippians 2.


The Word of God speaks loudest and clearest when we live without arguing and complaining. Today is a new day. You never have to live in yesterday’s failures. THAT is what grace, mercy and forgiveness are all about. Learn what God has for you. Let it sink in deep. Mark up your Bible with what HE spoke to you today. Write down in your journal the answer to this question...

“How can I strive this week to make Christ more of a focus of my days?”

Write simple, realistic goals. I want you to succeed. Success is not only satisfying...it leaves you feeling fulfilled! Doesn't it feel good to accomplish something on a list to-do's or want-to's? You can even write the list and post it on your fridge. Whatever it takes to help it to sink in! Make HIM a priority today...because you are always a priority to Him. You are always on His mind. He is always available to you...ALWAYS!

Suggest Hope

Good morning! And what a beautiful morning it is here in northwestern Pennsylvania! It's been a little chilly lately, but the sun is shining and it is already warming up. Don't get me wrong. I am a LOVER of everything fall! The temperature. The smell. The activities. The food. The pumpkin-a-latte loveliness. But...........it. is. JULY! *Rant over...for now*

Most of the year our church has a Saturday night service as well as Sunday morning. My husband is the Worship Pastor and I am also a member of the worship team...which means that we get to attend both services! :-) The message a while back on a  Saturday night, spoke a couple of really power-filled things straight to my heart...and I can't wait to share one of them with you today!! I've literally typed this post three times. Once on my phone. Don't get me started on how annoying that was! Once on my iPad...almost as equally annoying. And once on my computer. Fourth time is a charm? We shall see......

First, this is my challenge to you. Get your Bible out. *Vanesa taps fingers on table and hums Jeapordy theme song while she waits for you get your Bible* No matter how annoyed or impatient you are at my request it will help my post make sense!! Pretty please...*insert puppy dog eyes*

Whew...now open to Acts 27 and read verses 9-44!! The reason I say use your own Bible...is because that way you can underline the verses that stick out at you. You can also write beside them what God speaks to you today. It is for your benefit at a later date when you are struggling. The words underlined and written will stand out...and you will remember how God used them for your good! =)

For those of you honestly too busy, rushed, or ahem...lazy to get your Bible...here you go...

Acts 27: "⁹ Much time had been lost, and sailing had already become dangerous because by now it was after the Day of Atonement. So Paul warned them, ¹⁰ “Men, I can see that our voyage is going to be disastrous and bring great loss to ship and cargo, and to our own lives also.” ¹¹ But the centurion, instead of listening to what Paul said, followed the advice of the pilot and of the owner of the ship. ¹² Since the harbor was unsuitable to winter in, the majority decided that we should sail on, hoping to reach Phoenix and winter there. This was a harbor in Crete, facing both southwest and northwest.

The Storm

¹³ When a gentle south wind began to blow, they saw their opportunity; so they weighed anchor and sailed along the shore of Crete. ¹⁴ Before very long, a wind of hurricane force, called the Northeaster, swept down from the island. ¹⁵ The ship was caught by the storm and could not head into the wind; so we gave way to it and were driven along. ¹⁶ As we passed to the lee of a small island called Cauda, we were hardly able to make the lifeboat secure, ¹⁷ so the men hoisted it aboard. Then they passed ropes under the ship itself to hold it together. Because they were afraid they would run aground on the sandbars of Syrtis, they lowered the sea anchor^[b] and let the ship be driven along. ¹⁸ We took such a violent battering from the storm that the next day they began to throw the cargo overboard. ¹⁹ On the third day, they threw the ship’s tackle overboard with their own hands. ²⁰ When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm continued raging, we finally gave up all hope of being saved.
²¹ After they had gone a long time without food, Paul stood up before them and said: “Men, you should have taken my advice not to sail from Crete; then you would have spared yourselves this damage and loss. ²² But now I urge you to keep up your courage, because not one of you will be lost; only the ship will be destroyed. ²³ Last night an angel of the God to whom I belong and whom I serve stood beside me ²⁴ and said, ‘Do not be afraid, Paul. You must stand trial before Caesar; and God has graciously given you the lives of all who sail with you.’ ²⁵ So keep up your courage, men, for I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me. ²⁶ Nevertheless, we must run aground on some island.

The Shipwreck

²⁷ On the fourteenth night we were still being driven across the Adriatic^[c] Sea, when about midnight the sailors sensed they were approaching land. ²⁸ They took soundings and found that the water was a hundred and twenty feet^[d] deep. A short time later they took soundings again and found it was ninety feet^[e] deep. ²⁹ Fearing that we would be dashed against the rocks, they dropped four anchors from the stern and prayed for daylight. ³⁰ In an attempt to escape from the ship, the sailors let the lifeboat down into the sea, pretending they were going to lower some anchors from the bow. ³¹ Then Paul said to the centurion and the soldiers, “Unless these men stay with the ship, you cannot be saved.” ³² So the soldiers cut the ropes that held the lifeboat and let it drift away.
³³ Just before dawn Paul urged them all to eat. “For the last fourteen days,” he said, “you have been in constant suspense and have gone without food—you haven’t eaten anything. ³⁴ Now I urge you to take some food. You need it to survive. Not one of you will lose a single hair from his head.” ³⁵ After he said this, he took some bread and gave thanks to God in front of them all. Then he broke it and began to eat. ³⁶ They were all encouraged and ate some food themselves. ³⁷ Altogether there were 276 of us on board. ³⁸ When they had eaten as much as they wanted, they lightened the ship by throwing the grain into the sea.
³⁹ When daylight came, they did not recognize the land, but they saw a bay with a sandy beach, where they decided to run the ship aground if they could. ⁴⁰ Cutting loose the anchors, they left them in the sea and at the same time untied the ropes that held the rudders. Then they hoisted the foresail to the wind and made for the beach. ⁴¹ But the ship struck a sandbar and ran aground. The bow stuck fast and would not move, and the stern was broken to pieces by the pounding of the surf.
⁴² The soldiers planned to kill the prisoners to prevent any of them from swimming away and escaping. ⁴³ But the centurion wanted to spare Paul’s life and kept them from carrying out their plan. He ordered those who could swim to jump overboard first and get to land. ⁴⁴ The rest were to get there on planks or on other pieces of the ship. In this way everyone reached land safely."




I highlighted and underlined the verses that I wanted to bring your attention to. The men on the ship had given up hope. They did not see any way out of this situation they found themselves in. So what did Paul do. He suggested hope. He was the first to give them a thought of life over the death they were sure they were facing.

Let's think about this first suggestion of hope. Had they not believed...what would the outcome have been? Had Paul, being a prisoner of these men, been too terrified to speak up...oh how different this story would be. But Paul boldly spoke. And the soldiers hesitantly listened.

Think back on the course of your life for a moment. Has anyone ever been that first suggestion of hope to you? Whether you believed it at first or not...can you recognize that they boldly spoke what neither of you could actually see? Let me give you two of my life examples.



MY first suggestion of hope came after my second pregnancy, which just like my first, ended in a disappointing miscarriage. The difference though, was that I had had a lot more time to fall in love with baby #2. I was 16 weeks along when my hopeful attitude slapped me in face and into another state of shock, disbelief and soon to be depression. I held him. Born in my bathroom on December 20th of 2001, Isaiah Ethan fit into the palm of my hand. His arms and legs were like spaghetti. His tiny lifeless body I was sure would haunt me forever. 

Months went by. I was still unable to think of the events of that traumatic night with out shedding tears. One day I was with a couple of friends at their yard sale. Vicki walked up to me and spoke straight to where I was broken. She said that she was praying for me and God told her that I would have a child. I would carry the child to full term...and the baby would be healthy.

THAT, was my suggestion of hope. I no longer had to wonder. I no longer had to doubt. I just had to wait for God to bless me with this child I had now been promised. It was one month shy of 3 years after that conversation that God fulfilled that promise to me. My healthy baby boy was born in May of 2005...and all I had to do was believe.



MY second suggestion of hope came after I had my fourth child. (I only KNEW of the promise of one...but out of my seven pregnancies...I have gained four AWESOME kids...and three are in Heaven awaiting our arrival!!) After I had my final baby I was diagnosed with Post Partum Depression (PPD). It made absolutely no sense in the natural. Baby #4, Levi, was a very happy baby. The transition to bring him home was super smooth. And it was fall...my favorite season! BUT, in the supernatural it made complete sense. Knowing what I know now....it was an absolutely VITAL part of molding me to the woman I am today.

So, shortly after my diagnosis, God began telling me to talk to specific women. He would say, "Tell her what you are going through, she has something for you." So I did. Six women. Each with their own specific truth for me. Each one, one step in my road to healing. One of them though...was my suggestion of hope.

Bekah sat with me in my living room..while my kids raced around...and listened gently and softly spoke when appropriate. I told her all of it..."I feel like a horrible mother, I've had thoughts of hurting myself, I scream at these children that I prayed for, I flip out, I stay silent for days, I distance myself from everyone I love"...and what is her response?

"I see so much hope for you."

Confusion set in. I didn't see it. If I didn't know and love her...I would say that it was a cruel joke. So she went on to explain. "When you come out of this victorious...you are going to have a powerful ministry that will be set on fire. You will reach out to women who are going through similar circumstances and you will be their voice of hope. God will use you in a mighty way!"

I didn't feel it. I didn't see it. But I CHOSE to believe it. I had to. My alternative...was death. A few weeks later the opportunity would present itself. Death knocked at my depressed heart...and I fought for my life. Had I NOT spoken to those women...what would my outcome have been when the enemy whispered for me to take my own life? If I had not chosen to believe in the hope I neither felt nor saw....where would I be today?



Who has been that voice of hope for you? Have you ever told them? Maybe it is exactly what they need to hear today. Write it down. Mail it to them. Text them. Call. Email....whatever it takes. Let them know the impact that their suggestion of hope had on you. And be willing to suggest hope to the hurting people you know/see. They might be simple words to you....but to the searching heart....it is LIFE!

Relevant Reflections-Storms of Life

A few Sunday’s ago my pastor read a very familiar story from the Word of God. This is what proves that the Presence of God is all through the Bible. I’ve read this story. I’ve heard this story. And yet…God spoke a simple and powerful truth to me that I hadn’t seen before. He is forever giving me a reason to stand in awe of Him! (I sooo LOVE that about Him!)

We are going to read from Mark 4:35-41. I know that we’ve all heard and read the story of when Jesus calmed the storm…but please take the time to read it again. God has something specific to show you. He refuses to leave us in the dark. And where HE is…darkness cannot be. That is why He is forever making His Word relevant in our days. Specific. He meets us in a new way that meets our specific needs for that time in our lives. Awe. I’m in awe!

 

Mark 4: 35-41 “That day when evening came, He said to His disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took Him along, just as He was, in the boat. There were also other boats with Him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to His disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey Him!””

 

I can paint you a simple picture with our last boating trip of the 2012 summer. Uncle Mike let my son Aiden drive the boat for a little while. Aiden…was SEVEN!

Intent. I guess that IS how you would want a seven year old to look while driving a boat. Intent and focused. No matter how nervous his mother is…pictures and videos still MUST be captured. And here is what his little brother was doing…… No fear. Zzzzzz

 

Let me point out my favorite parts of that story. First of all…it was Jesus’ idea to take the boat out! Oh how I needed to realize that truth…a LONG time ago. Haha! If it is HE that is leading you. If it is His idea that you are following. Even when you face obstacles and hardship…it does NOT indicate that you didn’t hear Him correctly. What it does indicate, is that you are about to learn to trust Him in a new area. You are about to see His faithfulness to your fresh, unfamiliar needs. Following the Voice of God will encounter some storms…BUT that same Voice will pierce through them in the moment you ask. (*Did that last statement just give you chills? If not…place two fingers on the inside of your wrist and check for a pulse. Haha! It did me!*)

That brings me to my next favorite part. When the disciples woke Jesus up…what did He do? Freak out? Nah. Cry? Nope. Run around like a crazy person? Not for a second! He rebuked that which He has dominion over. And what did He use to calm the raging storm? Not a spear…but speech. He spoke! Can you speak? Do you have power (because of the Jesus that lives within you) to speak to the storms in your life? YES!! Some days the truth hurts. Today, the truth sets you free my friend. :-D That voice is a powerful weapon in this storm you are waging now. Learn to use it to help instead of hurt!

 

So are you ready for what God spoke directly to me during the reading of this passage of scripture? This statement I’m about to make is the reason I woke up with my husband at 615 this morning. I knew someone needed this simple reality today. God whispered the following to me…”Did you catch that Vanesa? Jesus SAID to the waves… Just speak. Speak life even if the waves are higher than your vision!”

And that vision that God was referring to can be one of two things. Some days our storms, our problems, our circumstances can seem so deep that we can see nothing else. Our vision is blocked because all we are focusing on is the ‘why’ instead of the ‘how to move past’. So we literally, don’t have vision. It is being blocked. Which, by the way, makes the enemy beam with pride. His storm is doing exactly what he planned.

Then there is God vision. There is the glimpse that God gives you of what your future plans are to be. For example, God has given me a vision to write my own devotional. Sometimes the reality of how crazy my life currently is, with four young children, prevents me from seeing that vision ever coming true…but I KNOW IT WILL. I know that God has a season and right now, I am developing my own style. I am developing a deeper love for His knowledge. And I am learning to listen to Him through the calm and through the storm…and to come out praising Him either way.

When the enemy can keep us discouraged from completing God’s specific and intimate vision for us…this too is proving his storm to be effective for what he had planned. Picture the smile on his face. Let that awful, snickering smile motivate you today. Let that anger rise up within you and aim it the correct ‘power’. Let the enemy feel the wrath of *insert your name here* because God just revealed his scheme to you. Those waves just lost their height. The fear that he was holding over your life has just lost its power.

How is your vision? Is it blocked? Or have you forgotten you had ever seen a vision? Speak to your storms today. Don’t wait another second. Let the calm wash over your circumstance. God. Has. Got. This!

Relevant Reflections-Are You Sludge-Like?

I woke up one morning feeling that the day had come that God wanted me to write this post. Knowing that, the enemy started messing with me. Ugh, so early. It was too early to be messed with. I was not in the mood. Haha! I didn’t even realize the enemy was doing it at first and that is the most frustrating part!

It was about 8am when I first woke up. (That NEVER happens! I remember that there was no school that day…and my kids actually slept in! *Cue the angelic music here!*) I laid in bed for another 15 minutes and then woke up annoyed that I wasted that much time of silence to write! I had allowed myself to be distracted.

Once I finally pulled myself up and put my feet on the cold floor I decided it was time to make coffee. (I love to write with a steaming cup of flavored coffee next to me.) Distracted.

I loaded the wood stove full so that my house would warm  up now that I was out of my comfy, cozy bed. Distracted, necessary, but distracted.

I put in The Lion King for my now very awake children. Distracted.

I wiped off all of my counter tops. Distracted again!

Are you seeing the sly scheme? I was doing everything but what I knew I had been called to do. When I started to clean out my dog’s food dish…it finally occurred to me that I was being distracted from God’s purpose for my morning. UGH! I can’t stand that little punk! No more distractions!

By this time it was 9am…and I was getting stubborn! The enemy really should know better than to mess with this girl and her writing. Oh how he tries to keep me silent…but what he so often forgets is that my Daddy is bigger than him! :p Haha!

Soooo, onto sludge. I am starting with the mental picture of sludge today. I want you to think of something that is sludge-like. Ugh…even just to say type that word makes me feel gross. No matter the tone you try to say it in…it is not at all attractive. As Pastor Les spoke a few Sundays about stagnant water, I was picturing sludge. If it weren’t the middle of winter here in Pennsylvania, I would hike up our hill and take a picture of a large stagnant puddle of water that is just inside of our corner of the woods. (You know I would! My husband knows I would too! Most of the time he smiles and rolls his eyes at what I just simply ‘have to capture’ ‘ for effect’! Haha!) This puddle…is not a pretty sight. To make things worse…it is right in the middle of our trail. I am told that people used to ride horses and four-wheelers on our path through the woods because it is a nice, wide path. And this stinkin’ (both literally and for effect) puddle, takes up the whole path for about 10 feet. Annoying? Yes-sir-ee!

I don’t trust my children to not test me on the “Don’t splash in that puddle or you will regret it!” instruction that I have given them. And when if that day comes, I will do what every scrap-book minded mother would do, take a picture. Before I rescue (as long as the possibility of actually being hurt is out of the question) I will capture what filth can come from something that USED to be clean.

Think about it. Water. It is one of God’s most perfect and utilized creations. It is from Him, for our daily use in life. It is used to keep us healthy. To cleanse us. To cook our food. To grow our food. Etc…

Water always starts out clear. (Unless you live in a little country house like mine…then ‘pale rust’ is the shade I would call it! Haha!) How does something that started out to crystal clear and perfect, turn into something so disgusting and unrecognizable? How does water become so sludge-like? How does it fall from the sky transparent and perfect for nourishment…and eventually turn into something that everyone avoids? How does a simple mud puddle turn to complete blackness with the most awful stench!?

It is quite simple acutally. It takes abosulutely no effort at all to go from fresh...to stagnant. Therein lies the problem...
it.
does.
not.
move.
Water falls down pure and perfect and then just sits. Motionless. Void of life. It’s usefulness being wasted. It’s rancid smell obvious to those who are near. No one will walk close for fear of coming away with the same stench. Any new droplets of water that fall into the stagnant puddle…immediately become black and carry the same vomit-inducing odor. Have I painted a clear mental picture for you? Movement is vital!

Have you ever known a person who has slowly become stagnant? Someone who doesn’t seem to be fulfilling much of their life's purpose. They don’t even seem to try. They are the ‘glass half empty’ type. You leave a conversation with them and feel more depressed about your own circumstance. Can I ask a hard question...are they Christians? Sadly…sometimes (gulp) too often we can answer that with a Yes. =/

I pray that that is NOT the type of person and/or Christian we are. When God gives us a gift, a purpose, a job, I pray that we actively search for ways to be used. I pray that WE (the church) don’t just let them sit. I pray that we are not void of words that give life. I pray that people do not fear spending time with us because they will leave feeling worse than when they came!

Let’s speak only what we would say if we were standing at the Throne of Grace. Let’s imagine that Jesus plays an active part in each conversation that we have. He does! Think about it. Really!! You know that check you feel in your spirit when you are about to say something that you shouldn’t? That is Jesus. You know that Scripture reference that pops into your head when you need it? Jesus. You know that sudden thought of compassion and prayer for a complete stranger? Jesus. You know that word of encouragement that you give or receive as ‘random’? Jesus! Those that I’ve listed are just some of the examples of our Father in Heaven being relevant, living and active.
How amazing it is to see God orchestrate each detail of our day. Look for Him in your today! No matter what day it is…or how long it has been since I wrote this post…tell me about how God was relevant in your day. I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! I want to be encouraged and excited with you. I want to rejoice. I want to sing praises for you. I want to thank God for how He showed Himself forever faithful. Leave me a comment in 3…2…1…

Star Eyes Started It All

I remember it fairly well. I was in fourth grade. My assignment was to write a fictional story. Mine was titled, "Star Eyes". If I remember correctly...mine was longer than most everyone else's. Lol! Hard to imagine huh? I even drew a sweet picture of the main character of my story, a clown who went by the name, you guessed it, Star Eyes. I had worked hard on constructing every last detail of my story. I even typed up (using the slow and steady two finger punch method) the final draft. The day had finally come that we would see our scores.

I don't remember the details well...but I do remember my teacher being very encouraging. I remember her praising me in front of the class for a well written story. Satisfaction in my accomplishment felt good. I loved to write...and just needed a little boost to know that I was on my way down the correct path.

Mrs. Robb was my teacher's name. Therese I am told is her first name, although I doubt I would ever be comfortable calling her that. Lol! Once your teacher...always your teacher. I do not think she has any idea the impact she had on my life. Could I still be where I am without her speaking those words of encouragement over my silly story? Of course! I serve a Mighty God...but I am who I am because of the paths that I took. Some of them paths that I chose, and some that were chosen for me. God used her when I was young and unsure, to spark the passion that was within my fingertips.

When I sat down to read over and edit this final draft of my blog post today I saw something very cool. Of course I just have to share it with you. That's my style. Lol!

Below is a picture of the note that was sent to my mom after my year with Mrs. Robb. You don't have to strain to read it. I will highlight what I am referring to.

 The last line reads as follows, "Keep up with the writing." I about cried when my mom found this in her keepsakes box. Those words were part of God's plan. And the written word means the world to me. As I have always said...it provides proof. You can read it and reread it as often as you want.

The other cool thing. Keep in mind...I was writing this post yesterday. I just didn't have the time...with 6 kids and all...then taking my four to VBS...to finish. So when I sat down to edit today...and noticed that her note was written on June 4th exactly 21 years ago...I laughed. Isn't God just too funny! I've been meaning to write this post for a while now. I finally sit to do it....and I just happened to pick the same date that she picked back in 1991. Ha-ha!

Anywhoo...I loved to write stories...so I kept on writing. Most of them fiction. Of course high school came after elementary school was over...and that is where I used my writing for myself. I wrote notes back and forth to all my friends. Sometimes writing funny things. Sometimes embarrassing. Sometimes claiming my love's (I use that term loosely...as I was clueless as to what 'love' really entailed). Sometimes gossiping. Sometimes being hilarious (did I say that already?). ;)

Next came my one year at college. I went undecided. I chose a major that I was not at all passionate about, nor interested in. While I was borderline drowning in a sea of uncertainty and confusion...I decided to take one English Composition course. It proved to be a huge challenge for me. I thought my professor was harsh on my papers. (He wasn't. It was just a plot of the enemy to try to keep me silent.) I am a comma queen and so when he would mark my paper with his red pen I didn't see it as constructive. I let it destroy my confidence a bit. Down the road a bit though, God had me revisit my college papers. This time when I read the comments, I realized that he was trying to make me a better author. My favorite assignment of the semester was to write an autobiography. I had one friend, thanks Pam, who looked forward to reading the newest chapter each week. (I am not sure if it was because my life was sooo interesting...or because I was sooo stinkin' funny. Sooo, I am going to go ahead and say BOTH! Bahaha!)

After my year was over I decided not to go back to school. I was unhealthy while I was there...and I was paying (still paying) for a major that I was not passionate about. What did I WANT to be when I grew up? AGH...I had no idea. I knew I really really really wanted to be a mom. Other than that...nada.

It was in this year after college, that my writing became a tool. A tool with a divine purpose. I began doing a devotional by Max Lucado and it changed my purpose forever. God spoke to me through my written words. I would get chills when I would read the things that He was saying to me. I would write prayers for different people...just as if I was having an actual conversation with God. (Hence the name of my blog. Pages of Prayer was a God breathed name. I knew it as soon as He spoke it to me.)

I continued to do different devotionals after I finished the first one. (It was called Embraced by God...get it! I have bought and given away several copies for only $4.00 on Amazon.com. That includes shipping!)  I was also reading books by some powerful Christian non-fiction authors...and underlining all the things I wanted to remember. Later I would journal about them. I would share them here and there...but most of them were left unseen.

Then the day came when God told me to begin this blog. You should read my first couple of posts if you haven't already. Those were the days that God began to use my writing to reach out. I figured I would reach my family. Maybe some close friends that would feel guilty and want to support me. What I didn't expect was to see how many countries, all around the world, would be viewing my little blog. I am constantly humbled when I see a new country represented. God is so amazing!

I know that God has an even bigger and greater plan for my passion to write for Him. I am starting to get a little glimpse of His plan...and it makes me anxious. Not in a bad way. I am not at all nervous...I am anxious as in I just want it to come to be...today! Haha! I am being patient while actively pursuing. Is that possible? ;)

I feel satisfied when I write. I feel joy when I write. I feel comfortable when I write. I feel powerful when I write. I feel blessed when I write. I feel humbled when I write. I feel loved when I write. I feel complete when I write for my King. It is my most intimate time with Him...and I wouldn't change my love for it.

I know how much the written word means to me. And I pray that someday this post finds the way to Mrs. Robb's desk. I want her to know that she made a difference. I want her to know that God used her words to stir up something in me that would play a vital part in my future in Him. I want her to know that she played a role in my calling. It wasn't something extravagant or extraordinary. It didn't take an impossible amount of effort. Just simple, spoken words.

So to Mrs. Robb, thank you for your kind words. Thank you for believing that I had something special. It may have taken me until I was almost 30 to truly fall into my calling to write...but you were step one in the road there. I am not sure if most of your students will take the time to tell you about the impact you had. But know that in Heaven...I will be one of them in a line...waiting to tell you all the places God took me because of His strategy that started with you. KNOW that your sacrifice was noticed. KNOW that your salary here is no match for your reward in Heaven. KNOW that you were/are loved by your students and staff. And KNOW that God wants you to finish strong. Keep speaking words of life to those around you now.

Let this be shout out to teachers/leaders/workers/parents/families everywhere. Speak life into the children you are surrounded by. Ask God to speak through you. You can help mold the life of a young child. You can have an affect that will sow into their adulthood. And maybe, just maybe someday...you will hear about it. Or read about it. Or see them succeed and know that God used you.

Encourage. Pray. Smile. Praise. Choose your words carefully. Little ears are not only listening, they are hearing what you say. Make your life worthy of imitation because the Author of your words is into raising up His sons and daughters.

Innocent Mornings Yeild Eternal Results

Hey blogger land! I am so excited today. I just recently (after a year of wonder of why it couldn't be different)...discovered how to make my blog accessible to all of you. And what I mean by accessible...is that you can all leave comments now. Is that not super exciting!!!!! Just me...oh come now. ;) There was a setting that must've been automatic when I started this blog...and I just discovered this weekend how to change it. This is huge!

If you have EVER tried to leave a comment and been denied...please try again. I will give you a good reason as well. Click on this link and read the post titled "What's Your Price". At the end...you can enter for a chance to win my give-a-way. I only had one entry...and she said she didn't want to take the prize because she won last time. Now is your chance to win!!! The contest instructions are at the end of that post. I want to hear from each of you. I want to speak words of life to you...and you to respond with words of life back to me. This is what keeps me going. When I see, and read that the heart of God is moving throughout the city, country, and world...it fires me right up. Speaking of getting fired up.......

I was talking to my oldest son (pictured above with our 'lap dog' Moose)...at the end of last week. Infact it was Friday morning...and I woke up to find him out of bed and in the living room. It was way past time to begin getting ready for school...but when I saw him I couldn't not sit with him and soak up every moment of his morning.

There he was. Alone. Only the light from the one opened curtain was shining in on him. And on the arm of the couch beside him...was his Bible. Like a real, big kid Bible. As in no big pictures and few words...but Genesis through Revelation...every verse! And he was just sitting there on his own will...reading Psalms. I could've had melted right there. I was so excited to have the ultimate Word of Life read to me by a child with such pure, innocent faith. I sat while he started to read from the book of Psalms.

After he got through a few verses, I asked him if he would read from the book of James because it is my favorite book of the Bible. I have just about the whole book underlined in each of my different Bibles. I 'randomly' (or so I thought) picked a heading...and he began to read God's word to me. I soon came to realize that it was not at all random. It was a divine appointment that God had set us up for...to teach Aiden a new truth from a recent life experience involving the two of us.

James 3:1-12 is preceeded by the heading, "Taming the Tongue." I am fairly confident that most...if not all of you have read it before. You will recognize some verses for sure. Pretend though for today that you aren't familiar with it. Read it as if you are reading it to a child for the first time. Or as if you were listening intently as though a child, with untainted faith, was sitting beside you reading it to you and Jesus. That is how my morning was. Aiden was reading to Jesus and I...and we were both delighted (some might say 'tickled pink'...but I am pretty sure Aiden would not have 'pink' associated with him. Haha! Not so manly!) to hear the Word of God coming from the mouth of His child!

James 3: "1 Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 We all stumble, in may ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.
3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or takes ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water."

I recently wrote a post called Thank You Jesus I am Healed. Click that link and read it if you have a minute. It will make the rest of this post make much more sense. If you already read it...then you will remember that Aiden asked me to tell all my friends and family, "Thank you Jesus I am healed." I have been doing my part...and telling people as God gives me opportunities. One of those opportunities was with my dear friend Rachel. As I told her she said she got chills. =) LOVE THAT!!

A few days later she texts me and asks me to pray for her head because she has a headache. My daughter, Ariel (age 5) and I were together...so we prayed. When I texted her back I told her that the two of us prayed. She responded by saying that she was hoping I would ask Ariel because she is a prayer warrior just like her Mama. I got chills that time. What wonderful words to read...they brightened my day! Then I reminded her of what Aiden said...that she was to tell her friends and family..."Thank you Jesus I am healed!" She told me that she kept thinking of that story I had told her...and that it 'fired' her up.

See...fired up. There it is again. It is almost like that goes with the scripture I typed out huh? You see...last Friday morning I told Aiden about how our tongues have the ability to spread words like fire. That can be a bad thing...or that can be an awesome thing. We all know that negative words, gossip, rumors...they spread at a rapid pace! Sometimes the truth, clarification, or explanation seem to come to a hault with the first declaration.

You choose the kind of words that you spread. You choose whether the flames from your words fire people up...or burn them, as if dead to you. Read those words again from James 3:5b "Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark." Each spoken/written/sung word is a spark. No word is too little to have an effect. You choose...affect...or infect.

Aiden started a powerful spark with his childlike faith. It continues to build power as more and more people hear and believe. Do you believe? Tell me about your spark. This tree (me) wants a whole forest to be fired up in the power and majesty of Jesus NAME!!

Keep sparkin' Words of life. Words of encouragement. Words from your Father. And then...tell people so that spark will grow! Hell has no power on my words. And the enemy... he has absolutely no right to think otherwise!!