Retreat or Defeat (Day SIXTEEN-30 Day Challenge)

If you are a reader, hearer and follower of the Word of God...I can guarantee that you've read the passage of scripture that I'm starting with today. I do have a specific point though...so stay with me. Don't skip and don't skim over them. (Confession #862,379...I do that which I just asked you not to. Sometimes when I'm reading a devotional, I skip the Bible verses if I deem it too long of a passage for my alotted time. And if its just one single verse...I may skim it...but I don't really 'pay attention'. I was challenged this weekend by the idea that in each decision you make you are either walking towards God or away. Which is it? Am I going to pass over the Word of Life that has carried me through my darkest hours? Or will I willingly read with fresh perspective? Can you see...I'm there with you. I know struggle because, by my choice, some days I struggle. Let's defeat!)

The Armor of God

" Finally, be strong in The Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything,      to stand. 

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish ALL the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God." Ephesians 5:10-17

I almost missed it. Oh how close I came. If I had had Internet in my home this morning...I would.have.missed.it! I literally just got done telling you to NOT skim and skip over those exact verses and I kind of thought about doing it myself. Oh the enemy is sly but he is not smart. You see, if I had had the Internet I would have gone onto the bible gateway app and copied and pasted those verses so I didn't have to type them from my iPad screen. And if I had done that I would have missed it because I wouldn't have read it. I've read it before. I can quote it. But God was asking me to read it again. He had a fresh revelation that needed a heart willing to have fresh perspective. 

See...I have admitted before and I will say it again...I am not above you. I am preparing myself in the trenches of battle...with you. I'm fumbling to remember or take the time to pick up my armor some days. I leave it laying untouched on my nightstand. I promise to do it later...and I run out the door. Un-armed. Exposed. 

Let's try to picture now what the enemy just saw. 

"She's wide open today boys. Our plan to have her fall back asleep after she knew she was supposed to wake up and read her bible...it worked like a charm. The enemy smiles at his accomplishment. She is missing a chunk of her sword today. I bet HE was going to prepare her for this battle coming. Lets not waste our time boys. Our attack must come quick. We want to catch her off guard. We want to start her day day off stumbling...in hopes that she will soon fall. You, satan points to the ugliest and most skilled of his warriors. You have been working like a charm since the garden. Shame...it is you that will start her day. I want shame to be what she feels first, before compassion or love. I want the guilt of her 'choice' to sleep today to be a constant weight that clouds her vision. We need to knock that shield of faith out of her hand while she is unaware. I want these arrows to pierce her deep. his voice begins to quiver. I have seen what she is capable of. We do not want her to pull that Sword on us. We are no match for that. Those Words of Truth cover every lie we have. Pursue her, Shame. Remind her of what she did today. Make sure you take Disappointment with you. I have to go look for Depression. He always follows you. GO! And do not relent!"

That was really hard for me to write. I picture that conversation happening because of a few extra minutes of sleep that I sometimes choose over my morning devotion time. When you allow your heart to see it as a spiritual battle that is unseen by your eyes...but surely felt...it is easier to fight. Put yourself in that scenario above when you go to roll over in bed. Wake up and meet with God because He longs to give you exactly what you need for THAT day. He will help you be an overcomer rather than an open target.

Now let's look at what I could've missed. Something small that I have missed EVERY time I have read this passage before. "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything   ,   to stand." I finally saw the comma before the last two words of that verse. I had never read it with that puncuation. I read it as a continuance to the verses that followed. But when you read it with that intended pause...you see what it really says. After you have put on the full armor of God. After you have done everything, remember 'to stand'.

God needs us standing up and ready. He needs our feet firmly placed and braced for attack so that it doesn't knock us over when it suddenly hits. He needs us to know that when we feel weak; when our faith is lacking...He has already given us the tools to know which piece of armor is missing.

And how about your back? Which one of those pieces of armor covers your back? NONE! (Thank you for that blaring reminder Holly Wagner!) You are not armed for retreat. When you marriage is hard...you were not meant to walk away. When God's people throw out false accusations against you...you are not equipped to run. It is the front of you that is protected by God. It is the front that braces against the winds of the storm. It is the front that walks into the difficult path because they see God in it. You were created to face opposition with confidence in Jesus.

"For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. All men will hate you because of Me. But not a hair of your head will perish. By standing firm you will gain life." Luke 21:15-19

Those words are from the lips of Jesus Himself. The heading in my Bible reads, 'Signs of the End of the Age'. Don't freak out. Stop freaking out. NOthing catches God off guard. Nothing surprises Him. Stand firm and gain life my friend. Even your hair is important enough for God to protect!

A Moment with Max (Day FIFTEEN-30 Day Challenge)

Have you ever found a person who loves you enough to passionately and fervently pray for abundant blessings for you? To pray fervently...what does that look like? What does it even mean? Don't worry...I looked it up for you. (Thanks goodness for dictionary apps! Lol!) To pray fervently is to pray with zeal. And to pray with zeal is to pray with "enthusiastic devotion to a cause or goal and to be tirelessly diligent in its advancing." Do you have a friend like that? Or a group of friends? A family? A spouse? Or maybe the better question...

Are YOU a person with a prayer life like that? Do you give God your requests? Do you tell Him about your day? Do you praise Him with enthusiasm because of what you've been through? Do you pray for blessings...like for real blessings...on those who are in your life? You can't live solely off the prayers of those around you...but combine your fervent prayers with one another's. Pray in unity. Pray with passion. Pray with compassion. Pray blessings on those easy to love AND on those who seem to be going out of their way to make it impossible. 

"Love must.be.sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another ABOVE yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving The Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, FAITHFUL in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse." Romans 12:9-14 (emphasis added by yours truly)

Those verses above have so many key words that I see as vital to living a life that looks like Christ is actively IN it. I would love for you to get out your favorite Bible right now and underline or circle anything I have italicized. But just as I wrote about the other day...knowing, is not enough. It never has been. I imagine it is almost frustrating to God. He finely gets through to us. He gives us divine revelation...and we ignore. He inspires words that have the ability to set us free...and we stay devastated in our self-constructed prison of comfort. Wait a minute. Hold.the.phone. When was prison ever designed to be about comfort?! Prison is punishment. And we are freed from the things that once held us captive, in Jesus Name! So WHY STAY THERE?

How many times have you read this passage of the Bible? How many times have you let it go in and not committed and not commanded that it change you?! How many times will it take? I pray that THIS is the time when you refuse to stay in the prison of comfort that leaves you less than God desires for you to be. Every time you've read it before was planting that seed that got ripped out by the enemy in a fleeting thought. Or it got choked out by the weeds that he immediately planted. I do not believe in coincidence. I believe that all things are done with intent. Intentionally commit, this day, to reading these verses until you see yourself actively LIVING THEM!

Let's go back now, to finding out what a 'for real' blessing is. What constitutes a blessing? They can come in so many sizes and forms, that I couldn't possibly give you a list. What I can tell you...and what I absolutely LOVE...is that blessings from God are incredibly specific. There have been times when Go-Gurt and a bag of apples brought me to tears because it was a timely blessing from God. Or socks, underwear and shoes. You see those things as a necessity maybe. You may say that God simply took care of my children's 'needs'. That is your perspective. That is your choice. But I will tell you that my kids already had many pairs of socks, shoes and underwear. But they didn't have new. I did not say they needed new...but I wanted them to have new. So I simply told God. I did not beg. I did not pray for God to provide...but He did. Blessed.

I just spent two days being blessed by God in many forms. Whether it was a simple cup of hot coffee or a slice of cheesecake...I knew that these were the blessings that had been prayed for and prophesied. You see I received a text a few weeks ago that proclaimed that God had abundant blessings coming my way. I waited with anticipation. Not anxious...but instead excited to see what God had in store. What would He choose this time?

God kept blessing. Through words of encouragement. Through songs of worship that spoke straight to my circumstance. Through snacks and meals. Each one leaving me more grateful than the one before. And then. Then, He chose a blessing that still leaves me in tears when I think of it. It was evident that God had a plan yesterday morning. It was an incredibly specific blessing that left me almost speechless....but definitely in AWE OF MY GOD!

Yesterday when I woke to write; I was so sleepy. I had laid my head down less than five hours before my alarm dared wake me up. My iPad screen was sooo SOOOOOO bright in the absolute darkness of my hotel room. (It was like trying to open my eyes up really wide while going through a brightly lit tunnel late at night. If you are picturing that in your head right now...you should be laughing. It really is one of the funniest things to me!) That is what I looked like when I began yesterday's post. I couldn't even write for several minutes because I had to adjust. I made coffee...and now I was already starting behind. Gahhh! 

I wrote until it was my turn for the shower. After I was all fancied up and beautified for the day...it was time to pack up and leave for breakfast. We decided to go to the hotel's restaurant so that I could finish my writing while I still had access to wifi. Then we saw the line for breakfast. Ugh. 

Change in plans. 

We went back to the room so I could quickly finish...and hit publish. Ahhh done! We loaded up and headed down the street to the parking garage to drop off our luggage. There was a small dispute as to which way we should go from the garage. Go back the way we came and are more familiar with in this city we don't KNOW, or go a different way that appeared like it could be right. 

We chose the more familiar path.

That path would lead us right by a Tim Horton's so we could hopefully get some breakfast and coffee! But we later found out we weren't the only ones with that idea. As we are walking towards this line of women that was reaching out past the sidewalk and to the edge of the street...I noticed someone walking towards the us. He was alone and there was something familiar about Him. The three ladies that were walking with me across this bridge all had their own idea about this man. One of the girls thought that possibly this was a state senator walking towards us because he was dressed in a blazer on a Saturday morning. Another also noticed his blazer and his shoes...he had nice shoes she thought to herself. The third was saying in her head...'Vanesa why are you walking up to that man. Stop. What are you thinking?!'

But I knew exactly who this man was who was approaching us. This man will never know that his desire for a 'cup of Timmy's'...was God's fulfillment of abundant blessings to me. I walked over to him like a crazy stalker and said, "You are Max Lucado." He responded, "Yes I am."

Do you see how many things had to go just as they did for that moment to happen? The timing had to be just as it was.
Had we eaten in the hotel...I would not have met him.
Had we taken the other route to the convention center...I would not have met him.
Had he not wanted a cup of Tim Horton's coffee...I would not have met him.
Had there not been a massive line of women that prevented him from that coffee...I would not have met him. (Thank you...every single caffeine obsessed woman who prevented him from his cup of Timmy's. SERIOUSLY...thank YOU!!)
I am in puddles (of tears) at how far God went out of His way to show me that He loves me. So much that He blessed me in a way sooo specific...I can't help but sit in awe.

Max was born into this world just as we were. His choice to follow Christ boldly and confidently, to where ever God leads, is what has gotten him where he is. God has blessed Max abundantly in his ability to connect with people with his style of writing. God requires much of him because of all that He has entrusted within the heart of Max. 

I don't see Max as an unreal icon. I don't place him on a pedestal or shrine. I don't make him out to be an idol that I worship. I was not star struck because of his accomplishments. 

I WAS in awe of my God. I WAS thankful because...

I was there in January of 2001, when I sat alone on a plane, terrified of what God was going to require of me. I wanted God's will for my life. I knew I had to cling to His will. But I had no idea what it was going to look like. I had to fight to want to know and follow that will. I had to be willing to pray...'God I'm ready to know. I'm scared...but I'm ready. I will follow you where ever you lead and flee from whatever you steer me away from.' 

I was there when I first opened the cover of devotional about God's love...written by Max Lucado.

I was there when my tears fell at the revelations God was placing over lies I'd believed for years.

I was there when my fear of God's will, transitioned to faith, in the living room of my aunt's house in Colorado Springs.

I was there when I had the conversation that I had once been terrified of. The conversation that, for the first time proved to me, that I really would do anything required...to be right smack in the middle of God's will.

I was there when God gave me back the desires of my heart because of my obedience during that time of tremendous growth, in doing the devotional written by this man of God Max. 

I was there in December of 2001, when I held my lifeless 11 week old son in my my hand.

I was there when I faced disappointment after disappointment and needed to know that I KNEW God loved me even when I couldn't feel it.

This devotional, Embraced by God, was a life changer. Not only for me...but for my husband. He gave up a girlfriend in fear for that month back in 2001...and got back a wife with a heart seeking God's character. This devotional was the transition in my passion to write. I finally had purpose to write. Eternal purpose. I don't think I fully understand the will and the path that God has set before me. But I welcome it. I walk in it by faith. I know that God sees where I am and where I end up...and I trust His heart to guide mine. 

I pray this post somehow reaches the desk of Pastor Max Lucado. And when it does...
- I want you to know, Pastor Lucado, that your time with me was God ordained...and such an abundant blessing to me. I was speechless then...but I am clearly not at all now. If there was ever any one person I would want to thank in this world, and wouldn't know how to...it would be you Max Lucado. I was just one of the hearts that you were fighting for when you tried countless times to enter into this world an author. And once you did...the true Author of your words was intensely evident! Thank you for your continued obedience to write what the heart of God speaks. I am forever changed because God chose you to follow Him and you accepted. I will say just as you said to me on that bridge in Rochester, NY...'Keep writing!' This world craves audacious faith!

WOF (Day FOURTEEN-30 Day Challenge)

Today's title has nothing to do with yesterday's 'loving like a dog' post. WOF is not woof spelled wrong. Lol! WOF stands for Women of Faith. It refers to a group of conferences where women...and almost entirely only women...gather to be challenged, changed and encouraged by some of the best women speakers of this day and time.

Yesterday was a bit of a frantic day for me. I woke up and starting writing. I'd been awake for probably 1/2 hour of my scheduled 1 1/2 hours set aside to write. I was writing and I felt God change my mind. His desire was for me to write about love yesterday. So I started over...wrote quickly before my kids were to wake up for school. I got almost done and the race began with the sound of that first alarm. 

Showers, clothes, breakfast, forgotten homework, lunches, shoes, hair and out the door. Next was the chauffeur services I provide. I dropped my older kids off at their school and dropped my middle son off at his PreK class. Then I parked my van and finished writing. I hit Publish and raced home. The race continued until my husband was almost literally pushing me out the door so I wouldn't be late to catch my ride with my church peeps. I arrive at my church (an hour EARLY mind you) and the first woman I talk to asks me..."You're not going to lick us today are you?" (In reference to yesterday's dog lover post!) Bahahaha! Shari that was just what I needed to start my weekend of laughter and uplifting.

Oh how blessed I am to be a woman of faith. To be just one name. One story. One testimony of God's faithfulness in this sea of women. I was surrounded...completely surrounded by women of faith. Many of the ones that surrounded me are ones that I covet the prayers of. Their faithful prayers are what help get me through the scheme of the enemy some days. Their prayers and accountability are what helps me to wake up each morning to write. And their generosity and love are what allowed me to come to this conference! If you are not currently surrounded by women of such faith and love...you are missing out. I'm sooooo thankful for my army of warriors and I would not trade my position as a part of them for anything. Not. Even. Chocolate. ;-)

Today I'm going to give you my favorite highlights from last nights Women of Faith conference. We were only there for a few hours...but God. He was there. He was moving. He was speaking. And He.Was.Good! 

We began last night with worship. One of the first songs we sang was 'Our God'. I LOVE that song. I love to sing those words. 'Out of the ashes we rise'. Picture yourself, for just a moment, without Christ. Many of you lived many years knowing full well you needed Him...but still you refused. Your life was without eternal purpose or gain. You were dead. Some of you knew the key to purpose and life...and you still chose to cremate yourselves. 

What happened when you asked Christ into your heart and asked Him to be your Lord and Your King? You did not appear before Him still dead. You were not a pile of soot and ashes. You weren't even covered in them. You became the beautiful bride of Christ. Spotless. Blameless. That sinful godless past...forgotten. You rose out of those ashes because our God promised to restore what had been stolen. He saved us immediately from death and promised us life! 

If you still carry your ashes around...know that it is YOU that is hanging on to them. If you look in the mirror and see the soot of your past staring back at you...the enemy's scheme is working. You are forgiven and they are forgotten. It truly is as simple as that. And anyone that tries to throw those ashes back in your face will, in turn, get covered in them. God does not live in the past. He couldn't and He wouldn't. 

After worship we listened to a Christian comedian. We laughed...some of us until we cried. (Ahem...Little Debbie) He started off by saying, "Hello my name is Ken Davis and I'm the husband of a woman of faith." Loved that! I love that my husband can speak those words of me. There was a time in our first years of marriage that I was a woman with faith but not always a woman of faith. I would choose when I wanted to pull the faith card and when I wanted to wallow in my circumstance. 

One of my favorite parts of Ken's talk last night was when he got his serious face on. He talked about our overall choice of dealing what life throws at us. We choose. We can either can get grumpy and angry...or...we can laugh! I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. What can we do to become people that can laugh at the enemy's feeble attempts to tear us down or embarrass us? We know...we have access to THE Foundation of joy. Christ gave us a foundation that can radiate pure joy...no matter what. Himself. If you are feeling weak and less than joy-filled...are you forgetting what is the base of your foundation? "The joy of the Lord is your strength." Nehemiah 8:10   And in the words of Ken Davis..."Joy is standing on a platform of faith so solid that nothing or no one can shake it." 

Sheila Walsh was up next and wow. She was honest and real. God's strength was shown perfect through her weakest times of life. She started off as a powerhouse...and ended the same. She was reading a familiar passage in Mark 4:35-40. You probably know the story well. It is when Jesus falls asleep on a boat that He asked His followers to get on. So Sheila asked..."When a storm hits you, out of the blue, and you weren't expecting it...do you know the firm foundation on which you stand? And when that storm hits you...how does it change your view of God? The cross gives us permission to be transparent. The cross WAS...only because we could not do it alone. We were never created to. We don't have to pretend to have it together. We can be transparent and real. You aren't fooling everyone. Storms show what you actually believe...not what you want to." (That section is slightly paraphrased only because my fingers couldn't keep up. Lol.)

I loved that Sheila highlighted a couple of key words in verse 35 of that passage in Mark chapter 4. "When evening came, Jesus said to His disciples, 'Let's go over to the other side of the lake.'" Her response to Jesus' words..."He didn't say lets go to the middle and drown. Hahaha. They had seen him heal and do many miraculous things...but they'd never experienced a storm. Did Jesus do storms?"

"If Jesus brought you to it...He will bring you through it." I have no idea who coined that phrase...but oh how true it is. We follow God's voice and when the first challenge arises...we choose to doubt in what we first heard from God. "I am sure that the One who began a good work in you will carry it on until it is completed." Philippians 1:6

And my last favorite quote from Sheila, "God is raising up an army of women who dare to believe that God will use them just as they are. Jesus knows your whole story and He loves you! Be willing to be real. To share who you really are under the mask. Sometimes God takes you to prison to set you free. Sometimes the most precious gifts come in packages that make your hands bleed when you open them. God wants you to praise Him in the storm...praise Him when you don't see the break in the clouds yet on the horizon. You are not identified only with your roles. You are not...fill in the blank...so and so's mom, Joe Schmoe's wife, etc....

You are a daughter of the King of kings and nothing and no one can touch that! On the day that you see Jesus face to face...whatever you are going through...it WILL be worth it! I promise."

Highlights from Mrs. Holly Wagner "God could have had you born at anytime in history...and He chose now. Are you willing to follow through with the assignment He's given you? We aren't supposed to run from the rubble. We are supposed to step into it and do what we can to make the community livable again. In this world of devastation...it can be the church's finest hour."

And finally...Third Day.

 I. Loved. Them! The lead singer won us over quickly when he started by saying..."We at Third Day...we all love us some women. (We screamed.) We are all married to one. We were born to one. Our daughters will grow to be...women of faith." 

For me personally it was lovely to worship with a man who looked more like Jesus than my husband. ;-) I loved their concert. I loved their words. But I love more that no matter where I am...and who is on stage...there is not anyone I'd rather worship beside than my own husband. (All over the world right now I should hear a resounding 'Awww'. Lol!)

Here is the most powerful message I took from Mac Powell last night. Even if you aren't feeling powerful as a woman of faith.  Even if you can't tell if our prayers are making a difference in the now. Do not give up. The power of a praying wife. A praying mother. A praying friend has been proven its success over and over and over again. Keep praying you powerhouses of prayer! Your answers are in the son who cried out to Jesus instead of taking his life. It's the husband or wife who commits to the other when they don't deserve it. It's the friend who rejects your invitation over and over but finally gives in and meets Jesus. Every time. Every rejection. Was it now worth it?!?!

Rise up women of faith. Day two is about to begin! :-)