Sum of the Lies Women Believe

If I had a penny for every lie I've ever believed...I would own stuff. Alotta stuff. It is in-cred-ib-ly infuriating for me to take a moment to think, for just a minute or two (so it doesn't become a 'dwell'), about some of the lies I believed in the last week. The enemy strung me along with his maddening nonsense for most it. I knew it was him. My Father does not, would not say those things to me. And yet...I could not shake them. They lingered in my thought patterns. I was reminded of them just when I started to forget.

God is using last week for this. #Romans8:28 I know that I am not the only woman who believes lies about themselves. I am not the only woman who entertains thoughts that were not originally hers. I am not alone in this battle of the mind. If I was...there would not be SO many books already written about it.

God spoke to me yesterday while I was push mowing my lawn. I'll admit I was complaining, in my head, about doing it; even though...it was a perfect day for mowing. Not too hot. Breezy. Sunny. It was nothing like the monsoon our NW Pennsylvania summer was last year. Nor like the thick, muggy weather we had last week. I came in for a drink on one of my many 'breaks' and saw the sweetest message about my post from yesterday. When I went back to mow...God started speaking to me about today's post. See how all it took to break my crappy thought pattern was one sentence of encouragement from a random person. (When God asks you to offer words that are nourishing to another's soul...even if they seem small...do it! You can be the change in someone's downward spiral of a day.)

Let's move on to some of the lies. Some I have believed. Some I have not. The same will go with you.

-If i am larger than a -0....I am not and can not be beautiful

-If I am a size -0...i know i am beautiful and am therefore happy, always.

(FYI *I, on purpose, chose a number that is not real. It is not about a size, it is about God's masterpiece, You.*)

-Pinterest is real life! (...for everyone,but you.)

-If your kids are wearing 'non-church clothing' to church...you are clearly lazy and don't care.

-If your kids are dressed nicely at church, your morning was full of nothing but peaceful, sweet moments captured on camera
*There was clearly no screaming to brush. your. stinking. hair.  Or, frustrated last minute changes of clothes because the mud puddle was just. too. much. to. resist.*

-Your job defines you.

-Their job defines them.

-Perfection is attainable.

-Women who are in ministry 'have it all together'.
-Women who aren't in ministry aren't doing enough.

-Pastor's wives don't have bad days because they are super-spiritual, extraordinary beings.
-Pastor's wives don't understand real life, because they don't have to live it.

-Stay at home moms are not doing enough.
-Working moms are doing too much.

Comparison. It is not something we had to learn to do. It came very naturally to us at a young age. The problem is that those things that we don't have to work to become...are, most times, what we are to be fighting against. What we need to ask ourselves is, would God compare me to another sinful, created being? Is that consistent with the nature of our God who is so full of love that He sent his son to die for those He knew would reject Him? OR, would he instead see us THROUGH a Man who was tempted in every way...and was sinless?

Did you notice the title of today's post? It was purposeful. I know the difference between some and sum, promise! It was an intentional decision to use the word sum. Alone, each lie we hear and carry on with us for any length of time, might not feel too burdensome. Add a couple more and they become a bit more noticeable. What about when we have heard, accepted, and are dragging along a large sum of lies. Some of them from family members. Some of them from friends. Some of them from strangers. Some of them concocted in your own brain. It becomes increasingly harder to remember who you really are. It becomes even more difficult to BE who you really are because one by one you unknowingly let someone else's thoughts define you. <--- That someone...satan.

For today, try to take captive, every. thought. that God would not say to your heart.  He would not remind you of your mistakes, without truth to dismantle them.  He would not dwell on your flaws and weaknesses for the purpose of keeping you in a depressed state.  If you KNOW His voice, you know..."God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:17  He takes your life seriously.  Very seriously. I heard it said one day recently, "You were worth Jesus to God."

Your worth is not in anything that you can acquire here.  Your worth is not in how stylish you can look.  Your worth is not in your position at work.  Your worth is in Christ.  He was there at the beginning, and He will be there at your end.  If you believe that God sent His only Son to die for your sins, weaknesses, shortcomings, thoughts, actions, words...then He is Who you listen to.  It is HIS opinion of you that matters.  It is He that you will answer to for your choices...and it is He that is waiting to free you from the lies that overwhelm your days.

As for me...I would LOVE a chance to pray for you!  In person, over the phone, through social media, through email...whatever it may be.  It would help fulfill my purpose in posting today...if I could help you find a truth from the Living Word to cover over each lie you've been believing.  Please send them to me. One at a time. A whole list.  Just reach out and gain strength in your days. Let God intervene and stop your stinkin' thinkin.

It's My Promise, is it Yours?! (Day TWENTY EIGHT-30 Day Challenge)

Do you ever have a day when you wake up and just aren't feelin' it? You feel unsure about most areas of life. You doubt if you are in the right job. If you are doing enough. If you are sleeping enough. If you are giving enough of yourself..or maybe too much. Maybe you should quit everything and start over! Yeah that's it! Clearly the most 'rational' 'thing' 'to' 'do' would be to run away from ALL that you've poured yourself into. (Vanesa presses huge, oversized sarcasm button a few (hundred) times!!!!!!)

What could you do on days like those? (Besides give up and give in?) What do you need on days like those? Maybe all it would take is just a voice of encouragement! Maybe just a kind word to help you see how loved and appreciated you are. "The lips of the righteous nourish many..." Proverbs 10:21

Or maybe...that verse is for you to live out FOR others? Are you tired of giving of yourself to bless others? Do you feel as though you don't have an ounce to give some days? It's okay to admit. Our feelings are something we feel entitled to...but that doesn't always make them right. On the days that you are focusing on how exhausted you are. On the days that you start out by saying you have nothing left to give...who are you passing by? Who was in your path that day that was also on the verge of giving up? Did you even notice them? If not you...then who?!

"A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." Proverbs 11:25 There you go...that verse should cause you to sigh with relief? Are you in children's ministry? Are you part of a worship team? Are you part of a small group? Are you a parent? Are you a prayer warrior? Keep refreshing those around you with acts of kindness and words of encouragement because God will send someone to refresh you! =) It is written in black and white in The Book inspired by God. 

The Bible has PLENTY of promises that we don't see active in our lives. Does that make them untrue? NOPE!! It could mean, though, that we aren't standing on God's promises. It could mean that we aren't believing that they are for us, in this day. It could mean that we aren't living as though they are true. It could mean that we aren't expecting God to fulfill them. Or it could mean that we don't even KNOW them. That we aren't searching His Word for promises that we can proclaim. Start...today! Find a promise in God's Word and underline it. Date it. Write it on a postcard. Speak it boldly. Look at it often! Then let someone know. It doesn't have to be me...but it can be! Ask someone to keep you accountable to believing what God has for you.

"God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless; He has blessed and I cannot change it." Numbers 23:19-20

How refreshing it is to know that God fulfills His promises! Sometimes I willingly but unknowingly put God on my ridiculous little scale of knowledge. I compare Him to what I see. What I have seen. Or what I know to be true because of my three decades of 'experience' here on earth. If I have never seen a person healed...I guess it isn't for us. If I have never seen a man delivered of demons...I guess he will just have to suffer. If I have never seen a once barren woman holding her child...I suppose her dreams will die with her empty, aching heart.

THAT IS WHY GOD REPEATS HIMSELF! (For the thick skulled!) That is why God gives us soooo many promises to stand on! That is why He says meet with one another. Commune with like-minded. Love as He loves. Praise Him no matter what you see. Because His promises ARE for us to cling to! They are for us to proclaim and not waver from. God knew how we would be. He knew we would doubt. So He FILLED the Bible with repeated promises. I double-dog-dare you to find one that speaks straight to your core...and to live like it is yours. ;-)

Here are a couple of promises that will not only help inspire your days...but also will overflow onto those around you. Don't you want to be the bright point in a person's day? Wouldn't it be fulfilling to meet someone who's heart is heavy and leave them uplifted because you have the key to all joy and life?! Let's stop accepting drama in our days...but instead live like we have a reason to. 

"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." Proverbs 12:25

"The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:4

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24

Your choice, be a weight or a weight-lifter. Be a crusher of spirits or a healing nurturer. Do you want to look like Jesus? And I don't mean with the amount of hair you can grow. (Ahem...that may or may not be, but definitely is, a slight slam on my husband's current hairy nature.) If you really want to look like Jesus you will speak as He spoke. With passion. With life. With hope. With promise. With conviction. With truth. With love. With power. With tact. With compassion. With purpose. With promise.

Talk as He talked. Believe as He believed. Live as He lives. He is not dead. Be alive as He is alive!

Relevant Reflections (Dec-Week 2)

My reflection today is going to come in two parts. The first from Sunday morning and the second from that evening. Any chance I’ve been getting lately to spend time with God…He’s been revealing new truths to me. (Or reminding and reinforcing ones that I already know!) I am grabbing and holding onto each nugget of wisdom as if it were treasure.

Think about that. God’s Word is supposed to be treasure to us. Bring to your mind something that you treasure. It does not have to be expensive. Some of my most treasured possessions are notes from my family. (Go figure…I love the written word! Haha!) What do we do with the things we treasure? We usually try to keep them safe. We know where they are and we notice if they are missing. Do you keep the Word and instruction of God hidden in your heart? Do you notice if there are lies covering over the truth that He has given to you? Speaking of treasure…let’s go to a section of verses in the second chapter of proverbs. In Sunday school this past Sunday we were given material with these verses listed.

Proverbs 2: “1 My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, 2 turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding,3 and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, 4 and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure,5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.6 For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.”

Notice how many actions those verses list. Accept. Store. Turn. Apply. Call out. Cry aloud. Look (as if it were silver). Search for it (as for hidden treasure). Understand. Find.

Doesn’t it seem worth the first part of that list to get to those last two? Knowledge and understanding! Whew…that hits home. Do your part with the Word and God. Use it for your life. Apply it to your specific needs. And you will gain what you are looking for! It is right there. Black words on white paper…or in this case…pink words on a gray screen. Powerful realization!!

Okay…on to the point of this post. Sorry I tend to ramble a bit. Sunday after worship, Pastor Les has us listen to a powerful song by Chris Tomlin. Click here to listen to it on YouTube. Please, for your sake, pay close attention to the words!


Here’s my favorite part…
“I know Who goes before me.
I know Who stands behind.
The God of angel armies, is always by my side.
The One who reigns forever.
He is a friend of mine.
The God of angel armies, is always by my side.”


Don’t those God-inspired words help stir the confidence in you? Whom Shall I(We) Fear? Name, in your own head, someone/something that you fear. I won’t tell…go ahead. It does not have to be a physical fear…but maybe a mental one. Maybe it is someone who makes you feel tiny and insignificant when they talk to you, and you fear having to see them. Whom SHOULD you fear? No one and nothing. I know it is easy to say and hard to do…but let’s try to gain wisdom so that we can
follow the example of Jesus. It will be worth your effort, Promise!

Here are the words that God spoke to me about fear. “What do you fear, Vanesa? Whom do you fear? Is it fear of rejection that keeps you silent? Is it failures of the past that keep you seated when I’ve asked you to stand? Or…my daughter…do you fear the Creator on judgment day?” OUCH! I needed that. I needed to be reminded that I fear God over man. I want to walk in His light even if it is a new path.

As for Sunday night, we watched a video about aviation. I have to admit I was not excited when I heard what it was about. No offense intended. God has just wired us all differently…and it seemed as thought it was not going to ‘float my boat’. (Guess I should’ve said ‘fly my plane’. Hee hee.) Wowza, how wrong I was. I got it. I got the message the he delivered. It stung a bit at first…but I received it with open arms because I knew that God was all through it. And he had me laughing throughout the night. (I love laughing. It is my favorite. Haha!)

I won’t get all of the terminology correct because I am not at all interested in aviation. It scares me. But the message can be understood the same. Here is my shortened version of what I understood. The man in the video is a pilot of a high-tech war craft. He teaches and instructs the ‘young guns’ on how to operate these aircrafts for their first solo flights.  Right before they go out on their own he gives them a final briefing.

How would you respond to a final briefing? Would you sit back, barely paying attention, with complete confidence because you knew it all already? Almost as if this ‘old man’ had nothing he could teach you!? OR would you hang on his every word? Would you trust that he had been in this position once before and he was successful because he was, after all, still alive! First, I need to make it clear that I WOULD NOT EVER BE IN THIS POSITION…because as I said…I am not wired that way. But IF I was going to fly a high-tech war craft…I would be the one feverishly taking notes.

Several times in the video he said the following words, “I am here to brief some of you today.” It was me. He was talking right to me…I’m sure of it. He gave an example at one point of a professor from college. This professor was the first one ever in this man’s life to care about him other than his own family. He was concerned about his spiritual well-being. Who has been that to you? And who is God leading you to? Just a simple conversation can mean the world to someone in need. Let’s be intentional on looking for and listening to people that need the truth of Jesus!

At the the end of the video the man spoke about dreams. Can you think of some of your own? Things that you long for? Things that cause you to be discontented because you are always waiting and wondering. I believe that there is a difference between a dream and a vision. I am not talking about dreams at night. I know that God can pack some powerful wisdom in our dreams. I am talking about the things you daydream about having, or doing, or places to go to. What are you over looking because you are in waiting for……….

Here are two quotes as I remember them from the video. Keep in mind these are from a man who had dreams of being exactly what he became. He got all he wanted and yet…

“Dreams…when not from God…are just a tragic disappointment in the waiting.”
“Dreams can become a memory…in an instant.”

As I said above, when I say the word dreams I am not talking about visions that God has given us. I am talking about the ‘dreams’ that we hang onto and wait for. They occupy our time and energy. They keep us from moving full-force into what God has for us in the now. These dreams can set us up for disappointment and failure if they are not what God has for us. Even if they are good. Even if they are for Him…if they are not from Him…let’s vow to go with His plan instead. Make sense?

By the end of Sunday night these are the nuggets of wisdom that God gave to me. You, as a heir to the throne, right now, hold in your hands and in your heart…the key to help someone else to salvation and safety. What will you do with that reality? God has called us to be His hands and feet. The heart of God sends people to your path so that they might come to know Him when they meet you. Can you rise up to that call? Can you see people through the eyes of Christ?


Did you ever have a vision from God that you are just so so so excited about seeing come to reality? That is where I am at right now. And I literally get butterflies in my stomach every time I think of it. Like Christmas morning-when I used to open my eyes as a child and see that my stocking was filled up and laying by my door, begging to be opened-butterflies. I am trying to be patient…but I’m just so excited and about to burst with God’s promise. Romans 8:28 is at work. The things of old are making sense. I’ve been asking. I’ve been crying out. I’ve been searching for truths to cover the lies that I was expected to believe. And Proverbs 2 is making sense in a new way. Knowledge and understanding of God’s ways and His perfect path are coming into view. *squeals* I am ready God. I’ve been preparing for what is to come…and I trust where you are leading. I have NO reason NOT to trust You.

Right now I am praying for you, my friend. I pray that the knowledge and  understanding of God will flood your life. And I pray that you will search for it. Cry out to God. Seek God and God’s people. Find people that inspire you to be who God intended you to be. Speak life and surround yourself with people who do the same for you. It works!

To close…let me end with some of the people that God has sent us to recently. Our new Pastor Les and his wife Jennifer. They are the real deal. They love without condition. They are authentic. They have a passion for God AND His people. They have hearts that are willing to serve. And they are contagious. They are inspiring me to write. They are inspiring me to sing. They are inspiring me to love without condition. They are inspiring me to serve. And tonight…they helped inspire an acoustic guitar worship session in my house. You may or may not have any IDEA how huge this is! Just know that God is absolutely faithful. I've believed it. I've prayed since August for it to be evident…and I trusted that God would hear my cry. Oh, and that Christmas morning excitement…just got even more intense. I can’t wait to see it all unfold. Amazed…I sit back and

I.
Am.
Amazed! =)

Relevant Reflections (December-Week 1)

I've sat here, in my fave comfy chair several early mornings this week (while my family still slumbers) to start a new chapter. A chapter of relevancy with application. When the two pastors of my church were tag team preaching this past Sunday; I was in my pew, my pen flying across my page, taking notes. This is how I always listen to a speaker. Feverishly writing what I do not want forget from them and from God.

At one point they did a little experiment. They sang and/or quoted different theme songs from television shows from the past. The first was as follows…”Da da da dun *snap snap* Da da da dun *snap snap* Da da da dun, Da da da dun, Da da da dun *snap snap*”. Name it.

If you guessed The Adam’s Family, you are correct. That is pretty much the only one I got right because I am more from the generation that can sing you the theme song from Saved by the Bell or Fresh Prince of Bel-Aire. Even though I did not know most of the rest of their examples,  I got their message just the same.

Our brains retain what we repeat and allow to be repeated.

Now let’s move to the application…take a look at the book of James in my Bible. I have written beside and underlined a good portion of it because I just can't seem to get enough of it!     For years I have claimed that it is my favorite book of the Bible, but do I really KNOW it? Could I quote it...or even give the general concept if needed? Since the answer is ‘No’, what have I done to change that? *sigh* The truth hurts sometimes doesn’t it? It is okay, we will learn from this. And we will be better for it.

Think of a theme song from a tv show from your past. If you can’t think of a theme song…try a catchy jingle from a commercial. Now try to sing it. Go ahead…I will wait. (At least I know my mom and aunts will follow my instruction. ;) Haha!) Do you remember waking up the morning after you first heard it and realizing that you know it word for word? Doubtful. Unless you are my husband who has the memory of an elephant. (Is that even the correct expression? How does one know what an elephant can remember. *shrugs shoulders* Moving on.) My guess is that you had heard it many times…and finally it stuck with you.

When you read a passage from the Bible, do you read it once and move on? Or do you really study it? Have you tried to complete a detailed a study guide on it? Do you write it and rewrite it to make it really stick? If your answer to those questions is yes, no, no, and no…please don’t feel bad. You are not alone. You are probably in the majority these days. But we are not called to be like everyone else. We are called to be a ‘peculiar people’. People who don't follow what is easy or common, but what is right and true. After all, aren't we called to be like our Father…not our brother.

When God reveals something to you from a fresh, new perspective, sometimes it can sting a bit. You might even feel like you are not doing enough. Or maybe that you are being looked at under a microscope or told my way is better. I do not profess to have ways better than any other. (Just so we are clear on that.) I write what God reveals to me. And 99% of the time it is something He is teaching me right along with you.

Sunday as I sat in church, I felt the nudge of God. (I prefer the nudge over the shove. The shove usually comes when I have ignored the nudge for a while. *grins and stares at floor kicking a fake rock*) Anyway, the nudge…he was telling me to renew my passion for His Word…on purpose. With purpose. If I can learn a theme song that will NOT in any way change my life because I mindlessly listened to it in the background…I can memorize God-inspired scripture if I set out to do so. Be intentional. Our brains retain a lot of things that we never tried to keep there. The Word of God though…it is supposed to be ‘hidden in our hearts’. Placed there intentionally.

Let’s do a little exercise.

I didn’t loose you did I? Haha. This exercise involves your mind only…and maybe a hand or two if you really get into it. ;) Let’s say you have a small child who needs to learn a Bible verse. How would you help them learn it? My guess is...lots of repetition. Maybe an arm movement here and there. Oh...and LOTS of facial expressions. You would probably pick out key words that you could act out with those facial expressions and wild arm movements.

I currently have a kindergartener who has to say a verse for school each Friday. During the week I act out the verses with her. I get silly and over-animated because I want it to really make an impression on her little six year old mind. Did you get that? I am making an effort to make a lasting impression because it is the word of God. Couldn't I make the same effort for myself?!

AWANA. How many of you attended as a child? Or raise of hands if you send your children now. Way back when I was little, I had a leader who, to this day, is still one of my favorite people. Her name is Linda. She was the type of Godly woman that people were drawn to. I was recently reconnected with her as we started to attend the same church. I was so happy to find out that she has not changed a bit. She is still the lovable, bubbly mom-figure that I remember her to be. God had a special purpose for her in my life and I am so thankful for her. Without her and my mom, I would not have memorized the scripture that I did. They’d act out my verse when I got stuck. (Linda would use lots of facial expressions…and it still makes me giggle!) They took time because they knew the importance of hiding scripture in your heart from a young age.

When it comes to my ability to memorize, I am nothing like my husband. When we were little, I kind of…in a nice sort of way…did not like him. Not as in a true dislike…as in a UGH, why is this so easy for you!?! You see the AWANA leaders literally had to come up with new things for him to do. Haha! He would get through his entire book, review it, do a written test…and all before I was even halfway through mine.*Ahem…nerd* Haha! The only hope that most of those boys his age had at winning high sections for the night was when he was doing his test. Whew…glad I wasn’t a boy. Now-a-days, I am so thankful for all of his memorization. I can call on him with my randomness…and he usually has an answer for me. Who knew I would marry that country boy with the big brown glasses? (Love you E-Rock!)

Anyway, back to my point. I promise I am going somewhere with this. If we retain so much needless ‘junk’ in our heads because we mindlessly allowed it to seep in…what if we actually, on purpose, used our mind for the purpose in which it was intended. What if we took a chunk of scripture and dove in. Head first. Learned all God had for us and really looked for a way to apply it in our days.

Once we have all we can get…move on to what God has next. I highly recommend getting a devotional book on a particular subject or book of the Bible. This way you are looking up verses and answering questions that help you to apply it. As you could’ve guessed…I am a huge fan of any of Max Lucado’s devotionals. He has several topical studies and also many book studies. (Just trying to help you off in the right direction if you are feeling overwhelmed by all of the options out there.)

What can you do today? Is there something you are facing that you could use some light spread on? Seek an answer. Ask God to lead you down His perfect path for you. Get excited to meet with God. He loves you more than you will EVER understand…so try to give Him a chance to give you revelation in your specific circumstance. He will blow your mind with how intimately He knows exactly what you need. Trust in that beloved. Don’t forget to spread it. Your ripple effect  starts with a spoken or written word. You telling your story helps others believe God will do the same for them. Talk about Him often! I am sure He talks about you! =)

I would like to end today's post with my favorite quote spoken by Pastor Les on Sunday. "The only person who likes change is a baby with a wet diaper." *giggles* And I would like to add to that...even they don't like the process...but would like to skip right to the end result. Fresh. Clean. New.

Let's allow this word today to change us. So we can seek God with fresh fire. So we can cleanse our hearts from our old ways. And so we become that new creation that is spoken of in 2 Corinthians 5:17!