Dear Dad

As I sit here at my desk, drinking my coffee and eating my grits, I am thinking of you.  I can't help but to think of you whenever I have grits (and sweet tea).  As I type it is clear to me that I have a mission field in mind this morning.  You.  I have been relentlessly praying for you these last couple of weeks.  Though I will admit, that some days I don't have much to say.  During those times I am just still before the Lord.  Quiet, as I just let Him see my heart's cry.  I keep asking Him..."What am I to do?"

God's response...tell him what I want him to know.  Speak my Heart through yours and let it be Me that takes if from there.

If I never see you face to face again...here is what I want you to know.  

You have value to me.  You are irreplaceable.  Your constant prayers are a vital part of why I am who I am today.  God heard every one and He has stayed close to me through every tear I have shed.  He has protected me and healed me over and over again.

You are a part of my story.  My faith.  My ministry.  My family.  We will carry on the legacy that Jesus began in and through you.

Your grandchildren love you.  They love to hear your voice.  (My daughter says you sound like a cowboy.  Haha!)  They think of you often.  They want desperately to make some memories with you.  Until then...they will continue to love you and pray for their Grandpa James.

Your mission field looks much different than most; BUT, it is still your mission field.  God continues to place you where He knows you are needed.  You speak of your Savior boldly and without an ounce of regret.  My grandpa was also like that...and I very much respect that passion in you both.  You are not done on this side of Heaven.  God's work through you has not yet been completed.  Your children and your grandchildren still need your fervent prayers when they rise to begin a day and while they sleep.  We need you to fight for us and with us.

Your days are numbered...and only God knows the beginning of your eternity.  There is a reason that He does not give that decision to us.  It's because we are not all-knowing.  We are not omni-present.  We can't see what is to come.  We can't think past our own perspective some days; to see how far the  ripple of ending our life would extend.   

I know that the enemy will not stop pursuing us because he fears our prayers.  He shudders at the sound of our voices.  He wants nothing more than to silence the loudest advocates for the cause of Christ.  We have an eternal mission in our days...and we courageously walk in our calling.  We are the worst type of Christian to satan.  Confident.  Bold.  Sassy.  And relentless....     Even when I am feeling weak I whisper, and the enemy hears it.  I keep saying these words over and over again...

"I WILL NEVER STOP FIGHTING YOU!"  

I want the enemy to hear my voice.  I want satan to know that he will not dictate my future.  No matter what he throws at me, I will not bow to him.  I need you to fight, Dad.  My kids need you to fight, Dad.  God has spoken and He is not finished with you, Warrior.  I bow beside you in prayer, Mighty Warrior.  I place my hand on your back, scarred from battle.  I see the places where the arrows that were meant for me...pierced you.  I am thankful for your fight.  Beyond grateful.  

But now I need you to stand up with your armor on and your knees shaking...and tell the enemy Who your Daddy is.  I need you to boldly approach the Throne of Grace, for it is there that you will find rest and strength.  I need you to kneel at the foot of the cross and proclaim that you, a son of the King, will submit to His authority for the rest of your days.  You have a family to live for!

Until I see you again....

I love you so much Dad! 

  -Sugar 

Expose him

Every so often we have to call the enemy out.

We have to call him by his name.

We have to remind him of who we are in Christ.

So that he never forgets.

But what about you and I? Is it possible that we could ever forget?

Is it possible that we could go through a day, that could turn to a week...that could then turn to waaaaaaaay longer than we'd like to admit...where our days just seem to wear us down. Weariness sets in and our fight is weak.

This is me today.  My fight is feeling weak...so what am I going to do about it?
Sleep more? -Yeah. Stinking. Right.
Complain less? -I wish!
Read a self-help book? -Who has the time?
Run away to Hawaii? -Um...yes please!!!!!!!!!!!

For real though. Back to reality...what can I do?  I can reach out to the women that God has placed in my life who help hold me up.  I can read the promises and truth in the Word of God.  I can scream pray. <-- Ever heard of it?

I don't scream pray often, but when I do, it. is. for. real! It is like praying...only much much louder and with more crazy "passion" because I am reminding the enemy Who he is messing with.  I am talking directly to the legion of demons that dare mess with a child of the King.  I am speaking life over the death that they taunt me with.  I am speaking truth over lies.  I get feisty...and I look ridiculous.  I am always alone...and I am usually driving.  But there, in my minivan, I become a warrior. A warrior who has come to fight the giant that knows his end.  And I love to remind him of the end. 
I. Win.


What about my our children?

Does the enemy know the sound of their voice?  Does he yet have a reason to fear it?

I want the enemy to hear my kids proclaim truth.  I want him to hear them pray for victory.  I want him to hear them war for their life, their family and their friends.  My kids can not live off of my faith.  It is not enough.  I want to enemy to watch them become exactly who he feared they would.  I want him to never forget that we. win.

If someone that you love comes to you in need, absolutely, pray over them. BUT...be sure that they also pray for themselves.  Encourage them to speak to that mountain in their life and accompany them as they boldly approach the Throne of Grace for themselves.  It may seem like a minor step...but I assure you...it is not.  The enemy needs to know who He is messing with...and that is the King above all kings.  Jesus.  If that is the only word that they can whisper...it is enough.

JESUS

"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:16

Sum of the Lies Women Believe

If I had a penny for every lie I've ever believed...I would own stuff. Alotta stuff. It is in-cred-ib-ly infuriating for me to take a moment to think, for just a minute or two (so it doesn't become a 'dwell'), about some of the lies I believed in the last week. The enemy strung me along with his maddening nonsense for most it. I knew it was him. My Father does not, would not say those things to me. And yet...I could not shake them. They lingered in my thought patterns. I was reminded of them just when I started to forget.

God is using last week for this. #Romans8:28 I know that I am not the only woman who believes lies about themselves. I am not the only woman who entertains thoughts that were not originally hers. I am not alone in this battle of the mind. If I was...there would not be SO many books already written about it.

God spoke to me yesterday while I was push mowing my lawn. I'll admit I was complaining, in my head, about doing it; even though...it was a perfect day for mowing. Not too hot. Breezy. Sunny. It was nothing like the monsoon our NW Pennsylvania summer was last year. Nor like the thick, muggy weather we had last week. I came in for a drink on one of my many 'breaks' and saw the sweetest message about my post from yesterday. When I went back to mow...God started speaking to me about today's post. See how all it took to break my crappy thought pattern was one sentence of encouragement from a random person. (When God asks you to offer words that are nourishing to another's soul...even if they seem small...do it! You can be the change in someone's downward spiral of a day.)

Let's move on to some of the lies. Some I have believed. Some I have not. The same will go with you.

-If i am larger than a -0....I am not and can not be beautiful

-If I am a size -0...i know i am beautiful and am therefore happy, always.

(FYI *I, on purpose, chose a number that is not real. It is not about a size, it is about God's masterpiece, You.*)

-Pinterest is real life! (...for everyone,but you.)

-If your kids are wearing 'non-church clothing' to church...you are clearly lazy and don't care.

-If your kids are dressed nicely at church, your morning was full of nothing but peaceful, sweet moments captured on camera
*There was clearly no screaming to brush. your. stinking. hair.  Or, frustrated last minute changes of clothes because the mud puddle was just. too. much. to. resist.*

-Your job defines you.

-Their job defines them.

-Perfection is attainable.

-Women who are in ministry 'have it all together'.
-Women who aren't in ministry aren't doing enough.

-Pastor's wives don't have bad days because they are super-spiritual, extraordinary beings.
-Pastor's wives don't understand real life, because they don't have to live it.

-Stay at home moms are not doing enough.
-Working moms are doing too much.

Comparison. It is not something we had to learn to do. It came very naturally to us at a young age. The problem is that those things that we don't have to work to become...are, most times, what we are to be fighting against. What we need to ask ourselves is, would God compare me to another sinful, created being? Is that consistent with the nature of our God who is so full of love that He sent his son to die for those He knew would reject Him? OR, would he instead see us THROUGH a Man who was tempted in every way...and was sinless?

Did you notice the title of today's post? It was purposeful. I know the difference between some and sum, promise! It was an intentional decision to use the word sum. Alone, each lie we hear and carry on with us for any length of time, might not feel too burdensome. Add a couple more and they become a bit more noticeable. What about when we have heard, accepted, and are dragging along a large sum of lies. Some of them from family members. Some of them from friends. Some of them from strangers. Some of them concocted in your own brain. It becomes increasingly harder to remember who you really are. It becomes even more difficult to BE who you really are because one by one you unknowingly let someone else's thoughts define you. <--- That someone...satan.

For today, try to take captive, every. thought. that God would not say to your heart.  He would not remind you of your mistakes, without truth to dismantle them.  He would not dwell on your flaws and weaknesses for the purpose of keeping you in a depressed state.  If you KNOW His voice, you know..."God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:17  He takes your life seriously.  Very seriously. I heard it said one day recently, "You were worth Jesus to God."

Your worth is not in anything that you can acquire here.  Your worth is not in how stylish you can look.  Your worth is not in your position at work.  Your worth is in Christ.  He was there at the beginning, and He will be there at your end.  If you believe that God sent His only Son to die for your sins, weaknesses, shortcomings, thoughts, actions, words...then He is Who you listen to.  It is HIS opinion of you that matters.  It is He that you will answer to for your choices...and it is He that is waiting to free you from the lies that overwhelm your days.

As for me...I would LOVE a chance to pray for you!  In person, over the phone, through social media, through email...whatever it may be.  It would help fulfill my purpose in posting today...if I could help you find a truth from the Living Word to cover over each lie you've been believing.  Please send them to me. One at a time. A whole list.  Just reach out and gain strength in your days. Let God intervene and stop your stinkin' thinkin.

Trust Issues

I have said it silently to myself more times than I can count in my 35 years of life. My guess, is that you have too. They are those questions that just can. not. be. answered. Even if they ever were...the answer would probably not satisfy the deep longing questions in our hearts.

Why?
Where were You?
Why now?

Most recently it has not even been so much for me, but still I ask God, 'Why'...

It's been a year now since tragedy hit me like a semi-truck.
It has been a year full of change.
A year of asking.
A year of doubt.
Thankfulness. Anger. Sadness. Disbelief.
And it has been a year of watching God swoop in at the very last moment, when I was in full mental outrage, and show Himself faithful.
And yet it was a year of questioning...why?

Several months ago I decided to begin to read for the purpose of fun. Escaping I suppose. A way to stop my mind from constant thought.

Even after the decision had been made...it took me a few weeks to know where to start. Which author? Fiction or non? Did I want to dive into a self help type of book or just thoughtlessly encounter someone else's storyline.

I dove into my new book, head first. I read every spare moment I had. I waited up late and got waaaaaay too little sleep. I took loooong evening baths (almost daily) and stayed extra long in the tub. I had to see how the story all worked out in the end. I was addicted.

One night in particular I was intent on finishing the book that I had been sneaking in at every opportunity. I was so close. I sat with my cup of coconut cream coffee and...escape.....

Just a few moments in there were those words that I have wanted to speak scream time and time again.

Where were You when this was happening God?!

I closed my eyes and looked away. The second I read those words my breath was gone. When I opened my eyes again, I could no longer see through my tears. I knew that what came in the next paragraph was the reason God had chosen this book for me. I was angry at first when I realized the base of the story was very close to what I was dealing with personally. Of ALLLLL the fiction books in ALLLLLL of the libraries...I had to choose THIS one. Ugh. But I read on because I knew God had something to tell me...and I was unsure I could handle His response...

I. was. there.

How could I have doubted that He was there? How dare I think he would ever turn away? How did that simple reality make me feel both comfort and disgust? Why were there hot angry tears running down my cheeks?

They fell because I had trusted Him. But what about now...do I still...? How do you remain faith-filled when you feel as though the wind has been knocked out of you and you lay there struggling to simply breathe? What kind of God........I couldn't even finish that thought.

Sometimes we have to get gut honest with God. We have to lay it all out before Him. I have both a reverent fear of God and an open line of communication with Him. I tell Him more brutally honest things than I do any one person on this earth. He knows me completely. Every thought. Every glare. Every tear. He knows my heart intimately. He formed my inmost being...and He can handle my wrath.

That night as I read through the blur of my tears; I could not help but to silently weep. Alone. There wasn't a person in this world who could fix my struggle. It was up to me. I had to choose to fight my way through what the enemy was using to try to destroy the faith and purpose of myself and my family. I had to admit to myself and to God that I was angry with Him. I had to voice that I felt as though He had closed His eyes to what HE SHOULD HAVE STOPPED.

Should have.
As if I have the right to tell God how my story will go.
As if I think I know what is to come.
As if I was there at the beginning of it all.
As if I can say what it will take to make me into the woman that He knows I am capable of becoming.

I lay down my weapons.
My harsh words.
My doubt.
My trust issues.
I lay them at His feet. I do not deserve any of the wonderful things He does for me because of anything I have done.

I remember the first Sunday that I was to lead the Lauren Daigle song, Trust In You, during worship. I could barely make it through. There was a spiritual battle going on in my head, and I was the only person invited to the fight. It wasn't about learning the song...that had been fairly easy. Practicing the song with the worship team was a little bit more of a challenge. But then came worship...

There is a huge difference between practicing/singing and worshipping. During worship that day...it got real. It was that day that I knew I had no right to sing those very words if I didn't truly believe them.

A single tear ran down my cheek. I knew that I wanted to believe them. I knew that I wanted to trust God with the life and safety of my family. I also knew that He could see through my voice. He could see through my worship. He could see straight to the place in my heart where the struggle was raging.

And it was that day...I knew we had won. I did trust God and I belted those words out because I believe(d) that God is for me and for my family. Romans 8:28 will forever be true. God will use this tragedy. I don't know how. I don't know when. But I will wait for glimpses of good....because it is there that God will be.

Faith is More Than Words

Have you ever gone through something so incredibly difficult that there were

simply 

no 

words

Nothing that was offered seemed to be of any real help. Even though you knew that the intent of each person's hearts was pure, and you knew that their purpose was to uplift...somehow before their words could pierce through to your heart...it was as if they had already lost their life.

This is how many hours in my days have been over the last few months.

Numb.
Unable to participate in regular, every day life because it felt far away and impossible.
Many well-intended words from friends/family that seemed barely valuable enough to let sink in.

I've thought about becoming distant from everyone.
I've wanted to just pick up my family and drive away.
I've longed to forget.
I've screamed at the devil for how utterly awful and absolutely ruthless he is.
I've been selfish with my thoughts and prayers.

Over and over I have magnified the scheme of the enemy INSTEAD of choosing to focus on the power of the cross.

Where do we turn when words suddenly seem empty? How can we combat an enemy who wants us forever silenced? How do we fight off the pull of darkness when the usual fluffy spiritual answers just aren't leading us to hope this time?

I've never claimed to have it all together. I'm sorry if this comes as a surprise to you. Some days I crumble under pressure. Those days, I doubt if I will ever know better. I fall and I fail. And sometimes, sometimes...I get knocked down while completely unsuspecting. I get blind-sided by something that I could. not. have. seen. coming...and my faith is tested. The war becomes glaringly, in-my-face, real...and I find that I am very much in it.

Will I win...or will I give in? 

The first seems harder than the other. 

The latter offers ease, accompanied by empty promises. 

It is my choice. It always is.

I am turning to worship. Some days I cry while I sing...because my efforts seem feeble. Some days I don't feel a difference...because somehow I am still choosing to focus on me. Some days I smile and almost laugh while I worship...knowing that the enemy is furious and cowering. Some days I gain strength while I praise my King. Those days I stand firm in my calling...and I wish to be no where else.

I am turning to Truth. Even when I don't feel like it...I am finding Truth in the Word of God to cling to. On the days that I can't feel that Truth...I still believe. I know better than to trust how I feel. I'm a mess. He's the Maker. I trust His inspired Word over my thoughts! And He is revealing His truth loving, living, speaking people to me. It is a hard lesson to learn. I did not ask for it. I did not pray for it. But I will remain thankful for it.

And I am turning to you. You, who have been led to read this little blog of mine. I am asking for your prayer. The road that I have found myself on is hard. Not impossible...but hard. I don't know how to walk this road. I can't see the end of it. I am fairly confident that the end is far off. I can only see where I am. Some days seeing where I am is overwhelming.

If I have not love...I have nothing.
If I have not hope...I have less than God has for me.
If I have not peace amidst this storm...I am believing the whisper of the enemy over the proven Truth of Christ.

My strongest days are Sunday. My favorite days are those spent with the ones I love MOST! As for today, I will choose to win. Giving up is not an option. I have too many people who will go to war for me. I am loved...and I am thankful for that.

I will see Romans 8:28. It will become evident. I will listen closely for the voice of God to continue to lead me when I am looking...and I will feel the Hand of God guide me when I am struggling to focus.

I will win. Truth will win. I need only be still and know that I serve the One and only True God.

He is enough for me.

The Traveler (Day TWENTY FOUR-30 Day Challenge)

Your bags are packed and your shoes are on. You step out in faith because you've accepted the call. You've agreed to go to wherever God leads. For now all you can do is put one foot in front of the other. You are one part nervous and the rest anxious. You have no idea what to expect. You have no idea what you will face. You aren't even sure you can handle it...but you start walking. 

At first, your travels are smooth. You are enjoying the view and the people passing by seem friendly. You are feeling strong and gaining confidence that you are heading the right way. No sooner do you think that, and you notice the weather starting to get a little cooler. You aren't quite as comfortable and people don't seem to be looking around anymore. They seem consumed by their own travels. You reach out to them to offer them a drink and they gladly accept. You offer them words of encouragement and they perk up. They smile with sincerity and walk on with their heads looking forward to what is to come. 

You keep walking, still strong, still confident. The wind picks up. The dust from the road is making it increasingly more difficult to see. You can tell that this is a storm you are walking into and you want desperately to turn around. But you weren't happy there. Why in the world would you go back to stagnant? Why would you return to what wasn't effective? To what wasn't moving you or those around you? But, wait, how do you know if this storm is a sign?

The wind increases even more. Now your eyes are barely open. You can't see anyone on the road anymore because the dust is so thick. A sudden shot of regret fills your head...but your heart and your feet are still moving forward. You begin to wonder...how will I ever know if I am heading where God is leading?

A kind voice is heard beside you. It is a fellow traveler. They stand still beside the path and seem unaffected by the dusty wind. You recognize what you can see of their face. You saw them earlier on your path. You encouraged them. You gave them a drink of living water so that they might not thirst again. They are standing in the storm and they say, 'I am proof. You are going the right way. My path was headed toward darkness until you met me on my journey. This storm will pass. But now, remember me when you doubt.'  

You press on. Determined and courageous. All fear and doubt must leave because it has no place to reside in you. This same thing happens over and over again. Travelers that you met before now stand to cheer you on. 'Keep up the fight!' 'You are doing great!' 'I am praying for you!' One by one they come alongside you. Each one making it easier to whether the storm. 


Ministry is hard. I absolutely LOVE it...but boy is it hard some days. Those are the days that I wonder...did I choose the right path? Did I choose the right church? Did God tell us to stay...or was that our own desire? Am I in the right job...or should I give up and start over? Did I choose the right school for my children? Does God really WANT me to live in the snow belt of Pennsylvania? Really...does he? ;-)

Easy is not a foolproof implication that the choice you made is right. The enemy would LOVE for you to believe that. But truth is...if we are going along our daily lives and we aren't being challenged by the enemy...maybe we aren't being effective for the Kingdom either. If you are already headed away from the will of God...the enemy doesn't 'need' to lead you astray. He need only encourage you to stay!

If though...you are boldly living for Christ. If you are defeating the enemy at his game. If you are inviting others to come to church and praying with them to accept Christ...the war is so on. The enemy will hound. he will discourage. he will throw hurtful words at you...usually from people you love. he will distract you from moving forward. And he will get you to doubt if you are going the right way.

So how do you know? Are you making a difference? Who are the people on your path that were headed for eternity in hell...that are now following Jesus because you met them in their darkest hour? Salvation. People that are accepting Christ as their Lord and Savior...those are how you know you are on the same path that Jesus walked. Lives are being transformed...and you get to be a part of it. You give them the only thing that satisfies.

"Jesus answered, 'Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13-14

If you are struggling today with knowing if you are making a difference...write down the names of people you have encouraged this week/month/year. If you have someone that you led to Christ...write their name in BOLD. If you prayed with someone...write their name down. These are the people you think of when you doubt. When you doubt your call. When you doubt your ministry. When you doubt your position. When you doubt God. Picture the faces attached to the names you wrote down. They are your own personal proof. You are going the right way. Keep walking! The storm will pass...and your faith will be stronger! That is how Romans 8:28 works!

"You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." 1 Corinthians 3:2-3  In my words, let the effectiveness of your life IN ministry be proven by the lives you have touched. When you help heal hearts broken or lost, by just being available and speaking what God says...you will need no other proof. There is nothing greater than for the spiritually lost to become saved, and the broken to be restored in Jesus Name!

If you are staring at a blank sheet of paper..do not feel condemned. Instead...set your sight on Jesus. Maybe the reason you aren't being effective is because you are walking away from your call instead of towards. Maybe you are being distracted from seeing the people that are struggling along your way. Let today be the day you choose to be inspired by greatness. Not by 'Vanesa the Great'...but by the example set by Jesus. Imitate Him always!

Wake up early and meet with God, just as Jesus did. "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed." Mark 1:35

Let the person in front of you be the most important thing at that moment, just as Jesus did. "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 5:21

Pray for healing, just as Jesus did. "The whole town gathered at the door, and Jesus healed many who had various diseases." Mark 1:33-34

Pray for salvation among many, just as Jesus did. "Some men brought to Him a paralytic, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralytic, 'Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.' " Matthew 9:2

Do not sell yourself short...because the same Jesus that walked this earth...lives within you! Keep walking with Him. Follow His voice...you are finishing the ministry that HE began! =)

Playing to Win (Day TWENTY THREE-30 Day Challenge)

There is one seat left. Slowly you walk towards the table. You are in the mood to play a game and you are hoping to get a clue as to what game is being played and how high the stakes are. The players are silent but eerily intense. They each have a name hanging from a lanyard around their necks, but it is too dark to make them out. You slowly approach hoping to get a better view. Just as you squint your eyes to try to focus...

...the empty chair is pushed your way. Something within you feels uneasy...and yet you are not scared. You sit and glance around the table. The faces of your opponents are covered from the nose down. You still can't make out any of their names as the leader begins to deal the hand. All eyes are on you. Some of them are cold and harsh...some intimidatingly inviting. You begin to realize that maybe this wasn't the friendly game you thought it was. 

You pick up your hand. These cards are far from a normal deck. All of your cards are the same except for one. Your first instinct is to run, but you don't. You desperately want to ask what they are playing, but you don't. You feel almost paralyzed. They seem to be enjoying your apparent discomfort. The first card is played by the man sitting at the head of the table? It contains only one word. 'Gossip.'

The other players laugh. They begin, one by one, laying down a card from their own hand. They are forming a circle around 'gossip'. One card says 'friend'. One said says 'sister'. Another says 'Co-worker'. There was just one more player before it was your turn. He looked straight into your eyes as he pulled his mask down. He smiled and winked as he laid down his card.

There it was in black letters on a white card. The word...'church'. It sent a chill down your spine and a lump to your throat. Your eyes shifted to the now exposed lanyard around the last man's neck. Destroyer. It wasn't a name at all...it was his job title.

Your pulse begins to pick up as you look down at your cards. The man at the head of the table tells you that your card is to be placed directly on top of his. You've got to cover the word gossip with......   Six of your cards have the same word, 'victim'. Only one is different.  You aren't sure when to play it. How will you know what is to come? Should you save it for something that might be worse than gossip?

You close your eyes for a moment and you see your sister. Your friend. Your co-worker. You can actually see specific times when you gossiped about them. And you can now see how they looked when they found out. You feel empty and sick. You know the time is near. The opportunity to gossip about someone in church. Your heart rate picks up even more. The uneasiness is turning to fear.

Shame gets up from his chair and kneels next to you. He is the cause of this guilt trip you are on right now...and he wants to see your anguish up close. Anger is there and he is up next. A tear falls down your check and you whisper a word. A name. Jesus.

You take your only card of hope and place it over 'gossip'. It reads...'victor'. The room gets loud. Shouts are coming from all directions. Joyous praises are heard from angels all around the room. You hadn't seen them before but now you see them as they praise Jesus with excitement because you just CHOSE to defeat gossip. From the table comes many angry sneers that you would dare use that Name in their presence. They know the significance of that victory. It will be just one of many!

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Peace surrounds you. You open your eyes now with confidence. You look at your hand and now all but one of the cards, say victor. You gained strength in your faith in Jesus with that decision. And your hand is now stacked in your favor. Sure you still have free will. You will always still have the choice to fall into temptation...but NOW it is outnumbered by victory!!

"In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:37

It is your choice. It always was. Victory was yours the moment you accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior. You were not meant to live a defeated life. You were not designed to be overcome by evil at every opportunity. God has victory for you...always. It may be a little messy to get to it...but it will be worth it.

The enemy knows that each time you accept defeat that you are more likely to do it again. he ALSO knows that when you choose victory, even if it goes against every natural desire you have; that you are more likely to choose it again! "Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit." John 3:6

The attacks of the enemy will continue. But the strength of his opponent...only grows. The more you allow Christ to break you free from the love of sin...the stronger you become in Him. You will always remember where you were...but you will no longer live in the death and destruction of it.

I know I write this a lot...but I truly mean it. It's not too late. If you have been caught up in sin...it's not too late for faith to gain strength in the Name of Jesus! It's not too late to choose victory, over victim. YOU allow yourself to be the victim of the enemy. YOU sometimes put others in the position of being the victim. It is always your choice. And even if you haven't been making the right ones...it's not too late. Never too late!

Say the name of Jesus right now. Scream it if you must. Know that there is POWER in that Name! Flee from sin. Flee from the places that draw you into sin. Flee from the people that encourage you to sin. Run to find a place where Jesus is welcome, living and active in the hearts of the people there. You choose. It's your life. And it will be only you on the day of judgement. It's not too late. It's never too late for you!

"The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:56-57

The Call of Grace (Day TWENTY TWO-30 Day Challenge)

Have you ever had one of those weeks that you would so NOT want to repeat?! Ugh...this was a week like that. I can't remember the last time I was that exhausted. I can't remember the last time when the battle of darkness vs light was so clearly evident. I can't remember the last time I had to refocus my emotions (sometimes moment after moment) to line up with Christ. I had to give up what I felt for what I knew. And.It.was.hard! I would feel joy...then sadness. Anger...then forgiveness. Turmoil...then peace. It truly was a battle!

So what was God doing while this battle raged? He was speaking to women in my life who had no idea what I was facing. And one by one, in their own battle of obedience, they spoke life and encouragement into me. Tears of joy and thankfulness were what I needed to cover over a heart that was wounded. Healing tears ran down my face because I knew that God was taking care of me. I didn't need to avenge anything. I only needed to be still and know that He is God!

"The righteous cry out, and The Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but The Lord delivers him from them all; He protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken." Psalm 34:17-20

What does grace look like? If God's grace where anything like what you show to people when you 'feel entitled' to your emotions...would anyone want what you have? Are you drawing people towards...or pushing people away from grace? In the words of Beth Moore, "Are you trying to make people earn what you freely received?"

I have great news for you today!! It is not too late to learn how to be a person of grace. And it's not too late to realize that..."God doesn't call you because of your past." -Holly Wagner, 2013 WOF Tour

I had no idea how much I would need that reminder today. I was reviewing my notes from last weekend and that one stuck out like it was blinking in neon lights. "God didn't call you (or I) because of our past. He called us because of His future!" If any of us live in, or throw others into the shadows of past mistakes...we're choosing to live in the dark. When we ask, instead, for forgiveness from our sin, both from God and man, it.is.finished. The burden is lifted and freedom is your future.

How many of you have some things that you've done that you aren't proud of? How many of you let those things keep you from diving (diving as in all in, fully submersed) into ministry? How many of you feel unworthy to pray out loud over someone? Or how many of you are too ashamed to open up and talk about these things that hold you bound at your church's alter? Maybe you fear judgement from people. Maybe it is rejection that keeps you at a distance. 

Whatever it is...please know that God intended for you to move past these things. God will not always remove the consequence...but He will use everything for your good. I know I am not going to convince you with just one verse. I've quoted my life verse before because it states it just sooo perfectly. Romans 8:28. 

Someone who is stuck in the past, though, isn't looking forward. They aren't seeing the blessings that they are passing by until they are now part of the past. More anger and bitterness will soon follow because of the blessings in their rear view mirror that they missed. Someone will take that blame. Someone will receive their outburst of anger. It must be someone's fault!!!! 

I have to say that I am INCREDIBLY thankful that God doesn't choose us or pass us by because of our junk. You can let out a sigh of relief. Go ahead...I just did. =) You must also realize that the same is true for your neighbor. Your co-worker. Your Pastor. Your friends and family. The same sacrifice will set us all free from our past, if we believe and allow it.

God calls us because of His future for us. Ahhhh...that is grace. Grace covers and opens up the floodgates for a world of opportunities. If God left me in the shadow of my mistakes and failures I would have no purpose to write. I would have no reason to sing praises. I would have no voice to encourage. I would be wailing and wallowing in shameful defeat.

But God.

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

God gets through our clouded mind, distorted view and sometimes thick skull. He speaks with a voice that can cut right through all the junk. His voice is clear. Not muffled. Not distant. It is close and familiar. He says simple words that pack a powerful gut punch. "Let go."

You stop for a moment. Unsure if you heard Him correctly. Let go?! Let go? That can't be right. 'Justice has my name on it. I can't let go...because then who will seek it? God, I need to cling to something and this is all I have right now. All my energy is going into...vengeance?'

Finally the mask has been lifted. Your view is no longer clouded. Clarity has been restored. You now see the enemy before you. he is holding out a beautiful gift box that is addressed to the one you accuse, or the one who wrongfully accused you. It has their name on it. But who is this gift of vengeance from? You read carefully and see that your name is first...but what is it that it says underneath? 

destroyer. author of lies. deceiver. darkness. shame. death. Love...satan and the gang.

Your mouth drops open, you step back and gasp. Why does that gift have your name on it!? You would never give a gift like that to anyone would you? Would you? You start to feel sick. How could I? Where can I hide? You turn to run. You turn to flee from this evil and...

God is right there. He was right behind you and He saw what you just saw. What is He holding? A golden box. He hands it to you with a reassuring smile. You trust Him so you open it and see what you hoped you never would. Tears begin to fill your eyes as you realize these nails you see have significance. They are what held Jesus on the cross. They are covered with His blood. You close your eyes in shame. Knowing what your heart could have easily just committed against another.

God lifts your chin. He looks into your tear filled eyes and says..."My child. The price has been paid."

The price for your past. The price for my past...it has been paid. I say we celebrate!!! Turn from any sins of your past and run into the arms of Christ. He was your sacrifice...and He wants to free you from anything that dares hold you bound. 

Jesus' grace is sufficient for me. (2 Corinthians 12:9) Is it for you?

Comparing Scars (Day TWENTY-30 Day Challenge)

Growing up, I never really did too many things that could've resulted in a scar. I was the wuss cautious one. Being the youngest AND the only girl amidst 3 older brothers...someone had to throw out a caution flag here and there. A couple of years ago I had surgery to correct an ankle injury from 7 years prior. The incision just after the surgery was absolutely disgusting. The resulting scar is a great reminder that I endured much pain to fix what needed corrected.


Their accusations cut deep. The fresh wounds they've sliced open are now right on top of her old scars. She has felt this pain before. The wounds that were healed are now again open. She hadn't ever forgotten how those scars got there. Forgetting didn't even seem possible. Betrayal from within her circle of trust, those wounds always cut deepest. How will she recover and heal this time? What didn't she learn the first time around? 

She thinks for a moment about telling Jesus how unfair and cruel it all seems. She looks up to Heaven ready to file her complaint and she is immediately brought to silence at what she sees. She can't help it. She wants to...but she can't look away. The Hand that is reaching out to start her healing...has been here before. Accusation is what placed those scars in His hands. She compares her wounds to Jesus' and realizes; His required much endurance. She can do this!

The pain that comes before healing is evident, sometimes doesn't seem worth it when you are in it. Just like the pain from my ankle surgery seemed too much to bear for a mother of four (one of which was only 7 months old). Life just seemed impossible. Everything was difficult. Every aspect of my days seemed like a chore. On day 12 I'm sure if given the option...I would have magically reversed the surgery. I would have said that the pain I was experiencing in that moment wasn't worth the final outcome. How angry I would be now had I given up! Because I promise...day 13 was like a light switch was flipped in my recovery process. Day 12 I was miserable and not able to walk without crutches. Day 13...I was hobbling around like a pro. And now...I am so thankful that I endured. My ankle is stronger. My life is easier. And my perspective on difficult times...is always look toward healing. It's probably closer than you think. If you are about to give up...you are ALMOST THERE!

"Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:13-14

He does not attend to his fresh wounds alone this time around. Many warriors intercede at the leading of the Holy Spirit. Accusation. It may have caught him off guard...but it didn't knock him down like it had before. He knows where to go this time. His healing is close. His heart must first work through the initial 'entitlement to anger'. He gets through that step much more quickly than he did before. God is pleased and his son is released from all accusation. God knows. He remembers that all freedom came with a weighty price.

This man also knows full well that to wallow in his circumstance would only be stripping the Cross of its power and provision. When comparing scars with Jesus...He knows which one was cut and wounded more deeply. He bows his head and places his burdens at the foot of the cross. Jesus immediately takes those accusations from him. They are no longer his burden to carry. To some, his rapid healing almost seemed as though he had become calloused by his past. But Jesus knows better. He knows what surrender looks like. He rushes to his side. Jesus places His hand over the wounds of this man. The man can see his own blood through Jesus' scars. And for the first time he truly understands...

"Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:4-5

What is your position? When pain is inflicted on you by someone you trust, what is your response? Those first reactions say a lot about your character. Notice I didn't say your initial thoughts. We battle with our thoughts in those first days following betrayal or malicious slander. That process is necessary for weeding out the evil thoughts from ever becoming something you act on.

What wounds are you still trying to nurse that God is saying..."I long to heal." You keep scraping off your scab because the enemy is causing irritation. Itching. Discomfort. What you don't realize is that you are reopening what was almost a scar of wisdom. Whatever you endure...it will make you stronger. Not calloused. Not hardened...but strong. I declare it in Jesus name!! =)

Trading Up (Day EIGHTEEN-30 Day Challenge)

Someone out there, somewhere, must need these words today. Do you want to know how I know? It has been my hardest morning so far. My head is pounding, my body is exhausted and it is a fight. There is someone today, though, someone who has been needing this reminder. So I will press on toward my goal. I will not be defeated. If it is you...I'd love to know the name(s) of the one(s) I fought for. It gives purpose to pain. :-)

Today we are going to talk about trading. It is all about the deal. You want this, and I could use that...so lets trade. What did you then and what do you now like to trade? If you were anything like my generation, during your childhood years you probably exchanged baseball cards, video games, Barbie clothes or movies. When I was a teen girl...it was make-up, notes folded like a tiny football and clothes. Now as adults we probably most exchange acts of labor. 'I'll help you cut, load and stack firewood and you can help me put in hay.' Or...'I'll watch your kids so you can go shopping alone (cue angelic choir),,,if you'll just bring me back some milk.' We probably trade labor more than we realize.

For some, the trade scale is tipped heavily to one side. One friend always expects and the other friend never asks. If they aren't careful...resentment could creep its way in. Instead of being willing...that friend will feel used. Instead of being able to bless with acts of service...the friend who never gets asked feels distrusted and left out.

How about Jesus' trade scale. What does it look like? What did He give up in exchange for our heart? He gave up Heaven for a period of time. He gave up His throne for a season. He gave up His life on a cross. He gave up His body as one final sacrifice for a world of sinners. He gave up comfy, cozy, perfection...for rejection, betrayal, and crucifixion. 

I would say that Jesus' trade scale was severely tipped one way wouldn't you? He appeared to get the raw end of THAT deal. But why? Why didn't He feel used? Why didn't He call off the deal when He was betrayed by one of His own? Why did He continue when even His own earthly family thought He was crazy? Love without condition is who. He. is. How could He ask you to strive for it...if He couldn't even live it? So He traded. 

As often as His Father asked...Jesus gave of Himself and traded. He took our sorrow, disease, and ultimately eternal death/suffering upon Himself. And He gave us back joy, no matter the circumstance. He gave us healing and health, no matter the diagnosis. And life. He gave us life with His Father for all eternity. He could've kept it (selfishly but rightfully) to Himself. He could've let us know that we didn't deserve this trade of eternal life. And we would've had absolutely no legitimate comeback. He could  leave us speechless in shame. But that is no the example we needed. That mentality comes naturally to us. Unconditional love sooooo does not.

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me because He has annoited me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion-to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of The Lord for the display of His splendor." Isaiah 61:1-3   Go ahead trade up. Trade in your sorrows and let this truly be...the year of the Lord's favor!

Lets think about a time when we've asked for a trade that God intended to be totally lopsided. He desired a blessing for that person that you held your hand out to, for a trade. You thought this person should at least try to earn what you had to offer. They take the trade...but they feel a bit ashamed to. Your heart towards them has taken away from what God desired. It was you that He was trying to teach unconditional love to...and you couldn't get past the fact that they were undeserving.

How can we dare make others earn what God freely gives? Why do we do that? It's a heart thing. Giving of yourself. Your time. Your finances. Your wisdom. It has nothing to do with the what...and everything to do with the why. Why do you give? Because you love God. Why do you withhold? Because you love yourself more than your neighbor. That's what the Bible says to do doesn't it?! (Vanesa presses oversized sarcasm button.)

"Jesus replied, 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Matthew 22:37-39

What does self love look like? Do you love your neighbor, those around you, the same way as you do yourself? Or do they have to earn the grace that you, yourself don't even deserve? Do they have to prove themselves trustworthy before you will love? Do they have to trade...always a trade...never just a blessing. Does your list of requirements always have to be met?

"27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you. 32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that.34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful." Luke 6:27-36

Let's trade up today. Let's not give others what they deserve...but instead what God would give. Grace. Grace comes in many forms. Let's trade our binoculars of inspection around. Let's examine ourselves first with those binoculars. Let's get rid of any unrighteousness that is within ourselves before we go throwing our flaming arrows of accusation. Let's trade our sorrows for joy. Let's trade our defeat for victory. Let's trade our celery for chocolate. ;-)

Let's look for ways to share our blessings with others. It may be making a meal for a grieving mother...and sharing in her sorrow. It may be helping a friend realize who they are in Christ with many countless texts, Facebook messages and live conversations. Can you do whatever it takes? Let's do what.ever.it.takes to help others trade up. Help them to see that giving God the weight they carry...is not giving up. It is not giving in. It is deciding to WIN!

Run After Defeat (Day SEVENTEEN-30 Day Challenge)

I'm not asking, better yet, I'm not suggesting that you accept defeat. I'm not telling you to lay down and give the enemy victory. Oh no no no no. I have not endured without gaining at least a few sweet morsels of knowledge. And I cling to what I have been taught through my times of greatest defeat. I am challenging you again today to run AFTER defeat(ing). I don't want defeat to consume you in a negative way. I want you to pursue the act of defeating. Do you see the difference?

She walks down the hall of her workplace. Today was her first day back after her devastating tragedy. Her mind races with questions. She wonders how she will face these people again? Can she really hold it together for an entire work day? And then again, day after day after day. How can she tell people that she really needs normal again...but she has no idea how to get there?

A woman walks up to her registration counter at the hospital with a simple order from her doctor. Just the sight of this woman makes her heart beat faster with anxiety. As she looks down at the paper...a single tear falls. As she begins asking the woman questions to verify her current address and such...the tears will.not.stop. The expectant mother goes along her way, very confused by a strangers tears.

And there this girl sits at her desk...defeated. God sees her. And He says to Himself, "That's one."

She remembers a few weeks back when it was her that was coming in for a sonogram. She also remembers the day of her last one. She knew what the outcome would be before she ever went in. 'Complications in pregnancy' had never ended well for her. The sonogram technician was silent. In fact, the air in the room was heavy with silence. Everyone knew, but no one would speak. A baby at sixteen weeks should be moving and active. He was not. His heart should be visibly beating. It was not. His measurable size should coincide with his gestational age. It did not.

At the suggestion of her occupational health nurse, she leaves work early that day. She can't bear to keep seeing these expectant mothers. She hates that she can't control her emotions. She does not want to feel bitter towards these women in their happiest hour, so she just removes herself from it all together.

She unwillingly attends the parties on that Christmas day. It was her first Christmas as a newlywed and as a mother. A grieving, broken, childless mother. She had delivered and held her son in her bathroom just five days before Christmas that year. Why had he stopped growing at 11 weeks? How would she ever forget what he looked like? How could she? As one of the only three people that saw him that night...how could she dare forget her son?

She quietly and without faking joy, opens gifts on that Christmas day...defeated. God sees her. He says to Himself, "That's two."

She attends her favorite morning women's bible study. It's full of women she loves. She trusts. She clings to. They are reading a book together that has nothing to do with miscarriage or mourning. But that is all she can think of. It seems to consume every part of her day. She wants to speak but she is sure they are tired of listening. She longs for fervent prayer from these women of faith but she does not ask.

She went hoping to be uplifted and by her choice she left...defeated. God sees her. And He says to Himself, "That's three."

Defeat came to her in many different forms. It came without her realization some days. Other times defeated mocked her and dared slap her in the face. God was there for each one. He saw. And He knew how many times she would accept defeat before she would allow Him to help her overcome it. He counted. Each time a little more excited for her day to come. She was not inviting Him to overcome her defeated spirit yet...but He knew it was coming. It was close!

I know much about that woman...because I am her. I lived many years IN defeat. I didn't ask for God's solutions...because I had come to know this solemn place in which I spent my days. It seemed too hard to climb out of It. Becoming healthy seemed too far away for me to grasp. So I stayed. IN DEFEAT!

But that day I described. That day when I invited God to my circumstance. He said, "THAT'S IT! That was the last time my child. Stand up against your enemy. You will no longer take his position as the defeated. Stand up...I've been waiting and I'm ready to fight with you!" That day came. That day changed my faith. 

Now, I'm the one mocking the enemy with defeat. "No weapon forged against you will prevail..." Isaiah 54:17 Forged-to give form or shape to, especially by means of careful effort. Prevail-to be greater in strength; triumph. Let's re-write that verse with those two key words defined. 

"No weapon formed against against you by means of careful effort will triumph." 

On the days you feel weak. On the days you want to give up. On the days your fight is failing. Remind the enemy, out loud, of this verse. Quote it often. Scream it if you need to. Just let it be known that he does not win.

Pursue defeat. Hunt the enemy down in his scheme. Learn to fight him with the truth. he's no match for our Sword. he knows all about what it contains...and he trembles when you gain strength from it. I read a quote a couple weeks ago that stated my point exactly. It is my new favorite!!

"If the enemy knew what I would be after the storm, he would have left me alone." 

(Borrowed from Chrystal Evans Hurst's Facebook page. She is the daughter of Pastor Tony Evans :-)  )

Retreat or Defeat (Day SIXTEEN-30 Day Challenge)

If you are a reader, hearer and follower of the Word of God...I can guarantee that you've read the passage of scripture that I'm starting with today. I do have a specific point though...so stay with me. Don't skip and don't skim over them. (Confession #862,379...I do that which I just asked you not to. Sometimes when I'm reading a devotional, I skip the Bible verses if I deem it too long of a passage for my alotted time. And if its just one single verse...I may skim it...but I don't really 'pay attention'. I was challenged this weekend by the idea that in each decision you make you are either walking towards God or away. Which is it? Am I going to pass over the Word of Life that has carried me through my darkest hours? Or will I willingly read with fresh perspective? Can you see...I'm there with you. I know struggle because, by my choice, some days I struggle. Let's defeat!)

The Armor of God

" Finally, be strong in The Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything,      to stand. 

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish ALL the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God." Ephesians 5:10-17

I almost missed it. Oh how close I came. If I had had Internet in my home this morning...I would.have.missed.it! I literally just got done telling you to NOT skim and skip over those exact verses and I kind of thought about doing it myself. Oh the enemy is sly but he is not smart. You see, if I had had the Internet I would have gone onto the bible gateway app and copied and pasted those verses so I didn't have to type them from my iPad screen. And if I had done that I would have missed it because I wouldn't have read it. I've read it before. I can quote it. But God was asking me to read it again. He had a fresh revelation that needed a heart willing to have fresh perspective. 

See...I have admitted before and I will say it again...I am not above you. I am preparing myself in the trenches of battle...with you. I'm fumbling to remember or take the time to pick up my armor some days. I leave it laying untouched on my nightstand. I promise to do it later...and I run out the door. Un-armed. Exposed. 

Let's try to picture now what the enemy just saw. 

"She's wide open today boys. Our plan to have her fall back asleep after she knew she was supposed to wake up and read her bible...it worked like a charm. The enemy smiles at his accomplishment. She is missing a chunk of her sword today. I bet HE was going to prepare her for this battle coming. Lets not waste our time boys. Our attack must come quick. We want to catch her off guard. We want to start her day day off stumbling...in hopes that she will soon fall. You, satan points to the ugliest and most skilled of his warriors. You have been working like a charm since the garden. Shame...it is you that will start her day. I want shame to be what she feels first, before compassion or love. I want the guilt of her 'choice' to sleep today to be a constant weight that clouds her vision. We need to knock that shield of faith out of her hand while she is unaware. I want these arrows to pierce her deep. his voice begins to quiver. I have seen what she is capable of. We do not want her to pull that Sword on us. We are no match for that. Those Words of Truth cover every lie we have. Pursue her, Shame. Remind her of what she did today. Make sure you take Disappointment with you. I have to go look for Depression. He always follows you. GO! And do not relent!"

That was really hard for me to write. I picture that conversation happening because of a few extra minutes of sleep that I sometimes choose over my morning devotion time. When you allow your heart to see it as a spiritual battle that is unseen by your eyes...but surely felt...it is easier to fight. Put yourself in that scenario above when you go to roll over in bed. Wake up and meet with God because He longs to give you exactly what you need for THAT day. He will help you be an overcomer rather than an open target.

Now let's look at what I could've missed. Something small that I have missed EVERY time I have read this passage before. "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything   ,   to stand." I finally saw the comma before the last two words of that verse. I had never read it with that puncuation. I read it as a continuance to the verses that followed. But when you read it with that intended pause...you see what it really says. After you have put on the full armor of God. After you have done everything, remember 'to stand'.

God needs us standing up and ready. He needs our feet firmly placed and braced for attack so that it doesn't knock us over when it suddenly hits. He needs us to know that when we feel weak; when our faith is lacking...He has already given us the tools to know which piece of armor is missing.

And how about your back? Which one of those pieces of armor covers your back? NONE! (Thank you for that blaring reminder Holly Wagner!) You are not armed for retreat. When you marriage is hard...you were not meant to walk away. When God's people throw out false accusations against you...you are not equipped to run. It is the front of you that is protected by God. It is the front that braces against the winds of the storm. It is the front that walks into the difficult path because they see God in it. You were created to face opposition with confidence in Jesus.

"For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. You will be betrayed even by parents, brothers, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. All men will hate you because of Me. But not a hair of your head will perish. By standing firm you will gain life." Luke 21:15-19

Those words are from the lips of Jesus Himself. The heading in my Bible reads, 'Signs of the End of the Age'. Don't freak out. Stop freaking out. NOthing catches God off guard. Nothing surprises Him. Stand firm and gain life my friend. Even your hair is important enough for God to protect!

Planting Weeds (Day TWELVE-30 Day Challenge)

Ahhhh gardening. It does not matter if it is fruit and veggies or bushes and flowers; it is an enjoyably therapeutic pastime for some and an incredibly frustrating disappointment for others. Raise your hand if you are a gardener. You totally did it didn't you? Bahahaha...you are so predictable. ;-) I guarantee if you raised your hand it is because you either enjoy it...or have had success with it.

Whether you are a successful gardener or not...you can still appreciate the work and simple concepts of the labor intensive process. You put the time, sweat and work in...you yield the blessing of the crop. Or you labor, cut and prune and you enjoy the beauty of some of God's finest handiwork. 

Gardening for me is so NOT like therapy. If anything...it causes the need for anger management. Lol! ;-) For me it isn't about our success in getting the crop to grow...but about what destroys it before it is mature and ripe enough for use. My husband and I learned from our first garden, that a fence was necessary on our farm of 'roaming goats'. Lol! We have two short, plump pygmy goats. Salt and Pepper. Yes, Salt is white and Pepper is brown. We are not the most creative bunch. Lol! So this spring, during the planting season, we got smart. We built a raised garden and surrounded it with an electric fence. No more goat problems right? Right!

BUT, just so we are clear and incase you were not aware...chickens can fly over electric fences. :-/ So far this season...I have gotten ONE lonely tomato from my garden. I chopped it up immediately and put it in a taco salad I was eating for lunch that day. I didn't want there to be any chance of that precious fruit of my labor getting eaten or dropped. Lol! Every other sign of life has been eaten just as quick as it began to grow. My cute little, greens tomatoes...devoured before they were ready. Grrrrrr!

Let's spin this garden to a faith lesson. In Psalm 145:13-14 David writes, "Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your domain endures through all generations. The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down."

Think of a promise God has given you. Do you KNOW, do you really honestly trust the words of this Psalm? Do you wholeheartedly believe that no matter the circumstantial evidence...God IS faithful to ALL of His promises? Do. not. doubt. them. Do not waver. Hold on tight because He has not forgotten you. Read and reread the above verse as often as you have a tiny seed of doubt. Do not let it take root in your heart!

Let's say that the promises of God are like seeds planted along the path you are traveling. The enemy immediately comes along behind and surrounds those brand new baby seeds with weeds. his goal is to choke out that seed quickly. he wants you to give up on that promise before you've had a chance to really grasp it. he wants you to give up before that dream takes root. he wants you to shrug it off as a dream rather than a promise. he wants you to die without those promises ever becoming reality because of the weeds he strategically placed to choke them out.

The weeds are a nuisance. They destroy without thought or remorse. They just grow because they are planted. They are not to be held responsible. It is the planter. The hand that planted them is to blame. Have you ever been a planter of seeds of doubt? I remember the first person I ever told that I wanted to write a book. The first thought that came back at me was that it was just a dream that probably would never happen. I let that weed grow tall and strong. My promise from God was hidden in the shadow of doubt. Then one day I was strong enough and smart enough to know how vital weeding is to a healthy garden.

The weeds of doubt and untruth had to be ripped out. I found truth in the word of God...and I stood on it. I know God's track record. I know His scale of goodness and mercy is tipped in my favor. I know His desire for my life...because He told me. He showed me in a vision. I'm in constant communication with Him. So now those weeds don't. Have. A. Stinkin'. Chance. :-)

Let's go back to the planter of seeds. We've all planted a few. Hopefully without intent. Does this type of gardener currently describe you? When a Christian comes to you and tells you of a aspiration or life goal...are you the first to squelch it? Are you the first cast that shadow of doubt? You feel like you are just being a realist. You are excusing your actions because you are merely trying to save them from disappointment. 

BUT...you are not God. You can't even get onto a scale with Him because if He dropped a even a hangnail from His finger onto that scale, He'd send you sailing though the air. Your thoughts are not His thoughts. They are too small and simple minded. They are too into self. They are too limited by your view.

Hold onto God's promises for yourself...and be passionate about it. Mediocrity has been done...and it is not appealing to anyone that desires life over death. Passion is what draws people in. Christ is what keeps them there. And when you hear an aspiration of a fellow believer that seems like a stretch...stretch. Allow your faith be stretched. Believe and pray against your own tendency to have unbelief. Let your mind be opened to the promises of God. 

Stop. planting. weeds. Stop standing in the way of the Son. Stop stomping on others promises because you are also missing out on your own. Stop devouring others dreams with your own doubt in the Word of God. INSTEAD...share your crop of promise. Teach others how to have successful gardening experiences. That is how we believers in the Word roll.

"God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?" Numbers 23:19-20

Live Love Out LOUD (Day ELEVEN -30 Day Challenge

What is your role or position in the church? Seat warmer...or active member? Fly on the wall looking for crap to get your hands into...or prayer warrior? Trouble-maker? Gossiper? Councilor? Teacher?  You will notice that some of those roles listed are not ones that you would hopefully willingly take on. The reality is though...that the enemy loves church struggle. He loves Christians fighting their own. I imagine the only other things that make him happier are when those struggles keep people outside of the walls of church. When people see the anger between people who are called first to love everyone as they do themselves...and want nothing to do with it. 

I've seen it firsthand. I've known the person who said, 'If that's what Christianity is about. If that's how love treats people...I want no part of it.' And if it doesn't break your heart, and make you want to flee from how you've been contributing to the enemy's scheme; lay on your face and pray. You are walking a road that you don't want to go down. It only leads to destruction in your life and doubt in the people watching it.

"No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. this is the heritage of the servants of the Lord."  Isaiah 54:17  Let's write that verse again with expanded definitions in a couple of the words. I will italicize the definitions that I want to stand out to you. 

No weapon made or formed with concentrated effort against you will triumph, and you will prove to be false/erroneous every tongue that charges wrongdoing against you.

I don't want there to be any question on what that verse says. I want you to know that these weapons intentionally created to harm you...will not win. I want you to know that those who throw accusations out against you...will be proven wrong. It doesn't say they will give up accusing. It says you will be able to prove their accusations are false, fake, untrue. And if they choose to keep speaking them...they will only be destroying their own credibility. Pray for them, because they are being deceived. And sometimes...they like that deception. And that is even scarier yet. 

What if this isn't happening? What if these people accusing you seem to be winning? You are the difference. You can allow the weapons to be effective...or can you allow God to be God. He is always the victor. He is always the One to go to for truth. He has given us the Holy Spirit for times such as this. We can pray and the Holy Spirit will intercede for us.

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance to God's will." Romans 8:26-27

Let today be a new day.

 A fresh start. Go to the people you are accusing and ask for forgiveness. Go to the people you are gossiping to and let them know your words have been proven to be false. THOSE will be actions worthy of the cross. Those will speak truth over lies. Those are more honest and real than the things you were trying to fabricate. Be worthy of your calling.

"The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we heirs--heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we might also share in His glory." Romans 8:16-17

Do you live, do you love...like you are the co-heir of Christ? Christ's inheritance. His eternal blessings are yours to take part in. You get a portion of what only He should deserve. Do you love like you are royalty? Sons and daughters of the King are not high and mighty...but they know the King of kings. Not only do they/we know Him. We are related to Him! We are proud to be His child. We have abundant provision. We have eternal promise. We have faithful help in our darkest hours.

"As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:10-11

What have been the purpose of your words lately? No one is condemning you for falling into the scheme of the enemy. We've all been there. We've all failed. The impressive thing is when we realize it AND FLEE FROM IT! What are trying to accomplish with your words? Are they helping others to bud and flourish? If not, change your purpose in speaking. Be intentional...because the enemy is. He works with intent to destroy and kill. He hates buds that he knows will soon bloom. He wants to dry up the Living Water that flows from our words of life. But he forgets...the Son always wins! 

Watch and See (Day NINE-30 Day Challenge)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               –1 Peter 3:4

When people see you…who/what do they see? I’m talking, what if we were never able to engage in conversation with the lost of this world? What if all they could do was watch us? (Which they absolutely are!!)

 

What if they could only…

• Watch how you treat other Christians.
• Watch how you look at someone with different convictions than you. (Ex. tattoos, shopping on Sunday, clubbing, homosexuality, etc)
• Watch how you talk to your children while you walk through Wal-Mart.
• Watch how you treat your waitress when she messes up your order.
• Watch how you talk to the ‘unfair’ coach of your child’s team.
• Watch how you handle someone who is spreading rumors.
• Watch how you speak to a bill collector, salesman or telemarketer.
• Watch how you take the time, or pass on by, to the hurting and needy right in front of you.
• Watch how you minister to another soul that is just as lost and in question as they are. Are you condemning? Are you better than thou? Are you compassionate? Are you always ready and waiting/willing? Are you passionate? Do you show them love?

If you never got to say a word. If the voices of all Christians, were silent in the ears of the lost…would they still know? Would they see Christ by watching? Would our faces reflect His love and glory? Would our actions prove what our mouths profess? Would our eyes be looking for them…or would they be focused ONLY on our agenda?

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18   Know that non-Christians and struggling Christians are watching without intent to ever converse to let you tell your ‘excuses’. Understand that you are a platform for what faith looks like. It does not matter if you don’t want that responsibility. It became yours to uphold, back on day one, when you accepted Christ.  Accept that you are transparent when your days is running smooth and when your anger pot is about to boil over. Who sees it when it finally spews BOILING water everywhere? Is it the person who was the last straw? Did they deserve the scars from they received from that explosion? Picture those scars the next time you want to flip out. Let that picture be the reason that you hold back. No one deserves to pay that price. And even if they didn’t hear your words…the anger in your eyes would be enough to cause them to doubt. ‘Faith. Love. Kindness. Patience. Peace. Joy. Goodness. Self-control. Is that what they look like?’

 

I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable. But, you should know, I AM okay with it. ;-) The reason I am okay with it is because I am not talking AT you. I am learning WITH you. Some of those scenarios listed above are ones that I fail when transparent. God doesn’t want us to stay where we are in our knowledge. He doesn’t want us to KNOW that we are hindering others and be OKAY with it. He is constantly giving us divine revelation. This is one for me today. Read this passage of Scripture that my husband read during worship yesterday. “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” (1 Corinthians 13:1)

God is calling us out of our comfort zone. He’s saying to US now, ‘Prove to the lost that you really DO love without condition. Prove that your faith is always on and active. Prove My Son’s sacrifice by being what you say you already are. Grab a hold of what I am teaching you today. Your words mean little, they irritate the ears, when your actions prove otherwise. Line them BOTH up with My Word. Study My character and imitate it. Cling to becoming genuine in all situations. In all circumstance. Run to me and allow me to mold you. To scrape off the things that are not of me. The pain will be worth the prize. You can trust Me My precious child. I want you to radiate MY beauty. I want My image to show in you in its flawless design.’

                                                                                                                                                         -Song of Soloman 4:7

This lesson has been hard to write, as I am sure it has been hard to read. But I am fired up. God just revealed the enemy’s scheme to me. And it just. got. real. The fight is on! I will not settle for less than God has for me. I will not stay where I am. I will not be comfortable now knowing the weight of this issue and choosing to do nothing. My witness must first LOOK like I am a child of God. Before they hear me…they ARE seeing me. I will not relent. (Because I know the enemy sure isn’t going to!) Now that you know…what will you do?