Dear Dad

As I sit here at my desk, drinking my coffee and eating my grits, I am thinking of you.  I can't help but to think of you whenever I have grits (and sweet tea).  As I type it is clear to me that I have a mission field in mind this morning.  You.  I have been relentlessly praying for you these last couple of weeks.  Though I will admit, that some days I don't have much to say.  During those times I am just still before the Lord.  Quiet, as I just let Him see my heart's cry.  I keep asking Him..."What am I to do?"

God's response...tell him what I want him to know.  Speak my Heart through yours and let it be Me that takes if from there.

If I never see you face to face again...here is what I want you to know.  

You have value to me.  You are irreplaceable.  Your constant prayers are a vital part of why I am who I am today.  God heard every one and He has stayed close to me through every tear I have shed.  He has protected me and healed me over and over again.

You are a part of my story.  My faith.  My ministry.  My family.  We will carry on the legacy that Jesus began in and through you.

Your grandchildren love you.  They love to hear your voice.  (My daughter says you sound like a cowboy.  Haha!)  They think of you often.  They want desperately to make some memories with you.  Until then...they will continue to love you and pray for their Grandpa James.

Your mission field looks much different than most; BUT, it is still your mission field.  God continues to place you where He knows you are needed.  You speak of your Savior boldly and without an ounce of regret.  My grandpa was also like that...and I very much respect that passion in you both.  You are not done on this side of Heaven.  God's work through you has not yet been completed.  Your children and your grandchildren still need your fervent prayers when they rise to begin a day and while they sleep.  We need you to fight for us and with us.

Your days are numbered...and only God knows the beginning of your eternity.  There is a reason that He does not give that decision to us.  It's because we are not all-knowing.  We are not omni-present.  We can't see what is to come.  We can't think past our own perspective some days; to see how far the  ripple of ending our life would extend.   

I know that the enemy will not stop pursuing us because he fears our prayers.  He shudders at the sound of our voices.  He wants nothing more than to silence the loudest advocates for the cause of Christ.  We have an eternal mission in our days...and we courageously walk in our calling.  We are the worst type of Christian to satan.  Confident.  Bold.  Sassy.  And relentless....     Even when I am feeling weak I whisper, and the enemy hears it.  I keep saying these words over and over again...

"I WILL NEVER STOP FIGHTING YOU!"  

I want the enemy to hear my voice.  I want satan to know that he will not dictate my future.  No matter what he throws at me, I will not bow to him.  I need you to fight, Dad.  My kids need you to fight, Dad.  God has spoken and He is not finished with you, Warrior.  I bow beside you in prayer, Mighty Warrior.  I place my hand on your back, scarred from battle.  I see the places where the arrows that were meant for me...pierced you.  I am thankful for your fight.  Beyond grateful.  

But now I need you to stand up with your armor on and your knees shaking...and tell the enemy Who your Daddy is.  I need you to boldly approach the Throne of Grace, for it is there that you will find rest and strength.  I need you to kneel at the foot of the cross and proclaim that you, a son of the King, will submit to His authority for the rest of your days.  You have a family to live for!

Until I see you again....

I love you so much Dad! 

  -Sugar 

The Sacrificial Victim

Victim.
I have come to truly hate that word.
Because a true victim does not have a choice.
And they never deserve what they receive.

Have you ever had to watch your child walk through a trial so completely and heart-wrenchingly devastating, that you found yourself pleading with God? Desperate. Like you would do anything, ANY. THING. to just take it away. To heal their brokenness. To rescue them. To restore them to what they once were; carefree, joyful, without a worry in the world.

For some of us, our children are dealing with constant torment from others. (Being bullied is no joke.  It truly brings out the worst in people.)  For other children it is a traumatic life event that haunts their days. Maybe it's a family separation for their safety. Maybe an array of varying types of (mental, sexual, physical, verbal) abuse.  Maybe divorce of their parents, or the death of someone they loved. Or maybe it is the devastating moral failure of someone they respect(ed).  Maybe it is a series of poor choices that come with heavy and irreversible consequences.

Although we are all walking our very own path; all while our kids are simultaneously walking theirs...I am guessing that we all ask the same question.

Why?  Why do I have to watch them suffer?  Why can't I fix this?  Why aren't YOU fixing this, God?  Why aren't You taking their pain away?  I AM PLEADING YOU!!!!

But what if we (moms, dads, caregivers) had a choice....

Would we choose...

1.) ...what was best not only for the molding of our child's character after that of Christ, but also for the future of their role in the ministry that He began...no matter what that looked like....

OR

2.) ...what was easiest?

Ugh...gut punch.  That is a decision that I never want to make.  And, honestly, there is a good reason that God does not give us (parents) the option.  It's because we can not be trusted to choose what He Himself chose for His own son.  He chose what was best and never what was easiest.  And God's best plan for Jesus, has effectively changed the eternity of millions of lost and hurting people.  

To God, It. Was. Worth. The. Sacrifice.

Sacrifice.
It is something that we parents have to do often for our kids without a second thought.  We understand the role we are to play in their lives...and we give (more than we have some days) to ensure that their needs are met.  We take our cues from Christ and we give until we are exhausted and empty knowing, expecting, hoping, pleading that our Father will always fill us again.

What happens though, when the victim collides with sacrifice?  

What happens when the very act that made a person a victim...is what God uses to extend His heart's reach?  

And what happens to us, deep within our spirit, when God asks our child to be the sacrificial one?  

When He is using them to teach us just how faithful and omnipotent He is?  (Omnipotent defined: having unlimited power; able to do anything)
When His plans for their lives are more than we are imagining?  

When He is molding them through the pain of trial because only He has seen their life from beginning to end.  Only He knows who He has designed them to be, and what it will take to lead them there.  

Would we have ever have chosen for our child to sacrificially walk the road they are on...if that meant that God would use it for their future mission field?  If it meant that some day they would meet someone who IS where they WERE...and through their raw, messy, gut-honest testimony of God's faithfulness and goodness...they would BE LIVING PROOF that there is ALWAYS HOPE, for a future free of debilitating fear and heavy burden.  ALWAYS TRUTH, to cover and remove the weight behind the whispers of the enemy.  ALWAYS GRACE, to bring freedom from captivity of guilt and shame.  ALWAYS LOVE, after the trail of poor choice.

The sacrificial victim.  I know how impossible it seems to overcome.  I know how much it aches to watch.  I feel the sudden and uninvited flood of emotions that follow those 'past days' thought-patterns.  I am easily angered by the thought of the scheme that they enemy used to try to destroy my child.  

BUT GOD...
God has something that He has been desperately trying to teach me...and I have been so close to getting it.
SO. CLOSE.


There I sat, telling my wise counsel, of my recent Romans 8:28 moment.  I went into the conversation super excited to share how God had used my circumstance to speak life into another's story.  Romans 8:28 moments are those in which I help someone see what they are missing amidst their misery.  Because of where I am and what I've walked through...I have a credible word of encouragement to speak.  I am speaking as one who still flounders some days...but also one who is having way more strong days than weak ones.  (That was not always the case.  At one point, all I had was Sunday.  Sunday was my point of greatest strength...and every day after, was only barely above the point of drowning.) As I always say, these moments bring purpose to pain.  

I was genuinely happy to share my story, but within moments my smile quickly faded as my joy was syphoned out by sudden, crippling guilt.  God was speaking to my heart and my tears indicated that I was not there yet.  My brain wanted to be, but my heart was too afraid to let go and allow God's best plan to penetrate my pain.

If you have a few moments...please listen to The Unexpected Letter.  I could barely see the screen through my tears the first 4 times I watched it.  My favorite lines...

"I was not a victim of human plans

and I was certainly never a slave to you.

I am the victor." -Jesus

YES!!!!!  I am the victor.  I want to know, live, AND feel that...all of my days.  I want to scream it into the face of the devil and watch him cower away.  I know the God that I serve and I know that it is through the sacrifice of Jesus that my children will be victorious over every obstacle in their life.

God wants to know...do I trust HIM enough to say AND believe....that it was worth my child's sacrifice?  That God knew their hearts intimately and because of that He knew what they were capable of overcoming.  He knew that we would be struck down but not destroyed because of our collective faith in Him.  He knew that we would help each other through the low times where we felt as though the end of the torment was far off.  

Can I know that my child's ministry in his/her future will bring forth healing to the victims who are where they once were?

I can.

I do.

If my child reaches into the lives of the broken and offers them living water that forever changes their course of eternity...it is worth it.  The price was paid by a Savior that taught us how to sacrifice with eternal purpose.  And that is a heart I would love to teach my sons and daughter to imitate.

Trust Issues

I have said it silently to myself more times than I can count in my 35 years of life. My guess, is that you have too. They are those questions that just can. not. be. answered. Even if they ever were...the answer would probably not satisfy the deep longing questions in our hearts.

Why?
Where were You?
Why now?

Most recently it has not even been so much for me, but still I ask God, 'Why'...

It's been a year now since tragedy hit me like a semi-truck.
It has been a year full of change.
A year of asking.
A year of doubt.
Thankfulness. Anger. Sadness. Disbelief.
And it has been a year of watching God swoop in at the very last moment, when I was in full mental outrage, and show Himself faithful.
And yet it was a year of questioning...why?

Several months ago I decided to begin to read for the purpose of fun. Escaping I suppose. A way to stop my mind from constant thought.

Even after the decision had been made...it took me a few weeks to know where to start. Which author? Fiction or non? Did I want to dive into a self help type of book or just thoughtlessly encounter someone else's storyline.

I dove into my new book, head first. I read every spare moment I had. I waited up late and got waaaaaay too little sleep. I took loooong evening baths (almost daily) and stayed extra long in the tub. I had to see how the story all worked out in the end. I was addicted.

One night in particular I was intent on finishing the book that I had been sneaking in at every opportunity. I was so close. I sat with my cup of coconut cream coffee and...escape.....

Just a few moments in there were those words that I have wanted to speak scream time and time again.

Where were You when this was happening God?!

I closed my eyes and looked away. The second I read those words my breath was gone. When I opened my eyes again, I could no longer see through my tears. I knew that what came in the next paragraph was the reason God had chosen this book for me. I was angry at first when I realized the base of the story was very close to what I was dealing with personally. Of ALLLLL the fiction books in ALLLLLL of the libraries...I had to choose THIS one. Ugh. But I read on because I knew God had something to tell me...and I was unsure I could handle His response...

I. was. there.

How could I have doubted that He was there? How dare I think he would ever turn away? How did that simple reality make me feel both comfort and disgust? Why were there hot angry tears running down my cheeks?

They fell because I had trusted Him. But what about now...do I still...? How do you remain faith-filled when you feel as though the wind has been knocked out of you and you lay there struggling to simply breathe? What kind of God........I couldn't even finish that thought.

Sometimes we have to get gut honest with God. We have to lay it all out before Him. I have both a reverent fear of God and an open line of communication with Him. I tell Him more brutally honest things than I do any one person on this earth. He knows me completely. Every thought. Every glare. Every tear. He knows my heart intimately. He formed my inmost being...and He can handle my wrath.

That night as I read through the blur of my tears; I could not help but to silently weep. Alone. There wasn't a person in this world who could fix my struggle. It was up to me. I had to choose to fight my way through what the enemy was using to try to destroy the faith and purpose of myself and my family. I had to admit to myself and to God that I was angry with Him. I had to voice that I felt as though He had closed His eyes to what HE SHOULD HAVE STOPPED.

Should have.
As if I have the right to tell God how my story will go.
As if I think I know what is to come.
As if I was there at the beginning of it all.
As if I can say what it will take to make me into the woman that He knows I am capable of becoming.

I lay down my weapons.
My harsh words.
My doubt.
My trust issues.
I lay them at His feet. I do not deserve any of the wonderful things He does for me because of anything I have done.

I remember the first Sunday that I was to lead the Lauren Daigle song, Trust In You, during worship. I could barely make it through. There was a spiritual battle going on in my head, and I was the only person invited to the fight. It wasn't about learning the song...that had been fairly easy. Practicing the song with the worship team was a little bit more of a challenge. But then came worship...

There is a huge difference between practicing/singing and worshipping. During worship that day...it got real. It was that day that I knew I had no right to sing those very words if I didn't truly believe them.

A single tear ran down my cheek. I knew that I wanted to believe them. I knew that I wanted to trust God with the life and safety of my family. I also knew that He could see through my voice. He could see through my worship. He could see straight to the place in my heart where the struggle was raging.

And it was that day...I knew we had won. I did trust God and I belted those words out because I believe(d) that God is for me and for my family. Romans 8:28 will forever be true. God will use this tragedy. I don't know how. I don't know when. But I will wait for glimpses of good....because it is there that God will be.

Faith is More Than Words

Have you ever gone through something so incredibly difficult that there were

simply 

no 

words

Nothing that was offered seemed to be of any real help. Even though you knew that the intent of each person's hearts was pure, and you knew that their purpose was to uplift...somehow before their words could pierce through to your heart...it was as if they had already lost their life.

This is how many hours in my days have been over the last few months.

Numb.
Unable to participate in regular, every day life because it felt far away and impossible.
Many well-intended words from friends/family that seemed barely valuable enough to let sink in.

I've thought about becoming distant from everyone.
I've wanted to just pick up my family and drive away.
I've longed to forget.
I've screamed at the devil for how utterly awful and absolutely ruthless he is.
I've been selfish with my thoughts and prayers.

Over and over I have magnified the scheme of the enemy INSTEAD of choosing to focus on the power of the cross.

Where do we turn when words suddenly seem empty? How can we combat an enemy who wants us forever silenced? How do we fight off the pull of darkness when the usual fluffy spiritual answers just aren't leading us to hope this time?

I've never claimed to have it all together. I'm sorry if this comes as a surprise to you. Some days I crumble under pressure. Those days, I doubt if I will ever know better. I fall and I fail. And sometimes, sometimes...I get knocked down while completely unsuspecting. I get blind-sided by something that I could. not. have. seen. coming...and my faith is tested. The war becomes glaringly, in-my-face, real...and I find that I am very much in it.

Will I win...or will I give in? 

The first seems harder than the other. 

The latter offers ease, accompanied by empty promises. 

It is my choice. It always is.

I am turning to worship. Some days I cry while I sing...because my efforts seem feeble. Some days I don't feel a difference...because somehow I am still choosing to focus on me. Some days I smile and almost laugh while I worship...knowing that the enemy is furious and cowering. Some days I gain strength while I praise my King. Those days I stand firm in my calling...and I wish to be no where else.

I am turning to Truth. Even when I don't feel like it...I am finding Truth in the Word of God to cling to. On the days that I can't feel that Truth...I still believe. I know better than to trust how I feel. I'm a mess. He's the Maker. I trust His inspired Word over my thoughts! And He is revealing His truth loving, living, speaking people to me. It is a hard lesson to learn. I did not ask for it. I did not pray for it. But I will remain thankful for it.

And I am turning to you. You, who have been led to read this little blog of mine. I am asking for your prayer. The road that I have found myself on is hard. Not impossible...but hard. I don't know how to walk this road. I can't see the end of it. I am fairly confident that the end is far off. I can only see where I am. Some days seeing where I am is overwhelming.

If I have not love...I have nothing.
If I have not hope...I have less than God has for me.
If I have not peace amidst this storm...I am believing the whisper of the enemy over the proven Truth of Christ.

My strongest days are Sunday. My favorite days are those spent with the ones I love MOST! As for today, I will choose to win. Giving up is not an option. I have too many people who will go to war for me. I am loved...and I am thankful for that.

I will see Romans 8:28. It will become evident. I will listen closely for the voice of God to continue to lead me when I am looking...and I will feel the Hand of God guide me when I am struggling to focus.

I will win. Truth will win. I need only be still and know that I serve the One and only True God.

He is enough for me.

It's My Promise, is it Yours?! (Day TWENTY EIGHT-30 Day Challenge)

Do you ever have a day when you wake up and just aren't feelin' it? You feel unsure about most areas of life. You doubt if you are in the right job. If you are doing enough. If you are sleeping enough. If you are giving enough of yourself..or maybe too much. Maybe you should quit everything and start over! Yeah that's it! Clearly the most 'rational' 'thing' 'to' 'do' would be to run away from ALL that you've poured yourself into. (Vanesa presses huge, oversized sarcasm button a few (hundred) times!!!!!!)

What could you do on days like those? (Besides give up and give in?) What do you need on days like those? Maybe all it would take is just a voice of encouragement! Maybe just a kind word to help you see how loved and appreciated you are. "The lips of the righteous nourish many..." Proverbs 10:21

Or maybe...that verse is for you to live out FOR others? Are you tired of giving of yourself to bless others? Do you feel as though you don't have an ounce to give some days? It's okay to admit. Our feelings are something we feel entitled to...but that doesn't always make them right. On the days that you are focusing on how exhausted you are. On the days that you start out by saying you have nothing left to give...who are you passing by? Who was in your path that day that was also on the verge of giving up? Did you even notice them? If not you...then who?!

"A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed." Proverbs 11:25 There you go...that verse should cause you to sigh with relief? Are you in children's ministry? Are you part of a worship team? Are you part of a small group? Are you a parent? Are you a prayer warrior? Keep refreshing those around you with acts of kindness and words of encouragement because God will send someone to refresh you! =) It is written in black and white in The Book inspired by God. 

The Bible has PLENTY of promises that we don't see active in our lives. Does that make them untrue? NOPE!! It could mean, though, that we aren't standing on God's promises. It could mean that we aren't believing that they are for us, in this day. It could mean that we aren't living as though they are true. It could mean that we aren't expecting God to fulfill them. Or it could mean that we don't even KNOW them. That we aren't searching His Word for promises that we can proclaim. Start...today! Find a promise in God's Word and underline it. Date it. Write it on a postcard. Speak it boldly. Look at it often! Then let someone know. It doesn't have to be me...but it can be! Ask someone to keep you accountable to believing what God has for you.

"God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless; He has blessed and I cannot change it." Numbers 23:19-20

How refreshing it is to know that God fulfills His promises! Sometimes I willingly but unknowingly put God on my ridiculous little scale of knowledge. I compare Him to what I see. What I have seen. Or what I know to be true because of my three decades of 'experience' here on earth. If I have never seen a person healed...I guess it isn't for us. If I have never seen a man delivered of demons...I guess he will just have to suffer. If I have never seen a once barren woman holding her child...I suppose her dreams will die with her empty, aching heart.

THAT IS WHY GOD REPEATS HIMSELF! (For the thick skulled!) That is why God gives us soooo many promises to stand on! That is why He says meet with one another. Commune with like-minded. Love as He loves. Praise Him no matter what you see. Because His promises ARE for us to cling to! They are for us to proclaim and not waver from. God knew how we would be. He knew we would doubt. So He FILLED the Bible with repeated promises. I double-dog-dare you to find one that speaks straight to your core...and to live like it is yours. ;-)

Here are a couple of promises that will not only help inspire your days...but also will overflow onto those around you. Don't you want to be the bright point in a person's day? Wouldn't it be fulfilling to meet someone who's heart is heavy and leave them uplifted because you have the key to all joy and life?! Let's stop accepting drama in our days...but instead live like we have a reason to. 

"An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up." Proverbs 12:25

"The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:4

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24

Your choice, be a weight or a weight-lifter. Be a crusher of spirits or a healing nurturer. Do you want to look like Jesus? And I don't mean with the amount of hair you can grow. (Ahem...that may or may not be, but definitely is, a slight slam on my husband's current hairy nature.) If you really want to look like Jesus you will speak as He spoke. With passion. With life. With hope. With promise. With conviction. With truth. With love. With power. With tact. With compassion. With purpose. With promise.

Talk as He talked. Believe as He believed. Live as He lives. He is not dead. Be alive as He is alive!

The Traveler (Day TWENTY FOUR-30 Day Challenge)

Your bags are packed and your shoes are on. You step out in faith because you've accepted the call. You've agreed to go to wherever God leads. For now all you can do is put one foot in front of the other. You are one part nervous and the rest anxious. You have no idea what to expect. You have no idea what you will face. You aren't even sure you can handle it...but you start walking. 

At first, your travels are smooth. You are enjoying the view and the people passing by seem friendly. You are feeling strong and gaining confidence that you are heading the right way. No sooner do you think that, and you notice the weather starting to get a little cooler. You aren't quite as comfortable and people don't seem to be looking around anymore. They seem consumed by their own travels. You reach out to them to offer them a drink and they gladly accept. You offer them words of encouragement and they perk up. They smile with sincerity and walk on with their heads looking forward to what is to come. 

You keep walking, still strong, still confident. The wind picks up. The dust from the road is making it increasingly more difficult to see. You can tell that this is a storm you are walking into and you want desperately to turn around. But you weren't happy there. Why in the world would you go back to stagnant? Why would you return to what wasn't effective? To what wasn't moving you or those around you? But, wait, how do you know if this storm is a sign?

The wind increases even more. Now your eyes are barely open. You can't see anyone on the road anymore because the dust is so thick. A sudden shot of regret fills your head...but your heart and your feet are still moving forward. You begin to wonder...how will I ever know if I am heading where God is leading?

A kind voice is heard beside you. It is a fellow traveler. They stand still beside the path and seem unaffected by the dusty wind. You recognize what you can see of their face. You saw them earlier on your path. You encouraged them. You gave them a drink of living water so that they might not thirst again. They are standing in the storm and they say, 'I am proof. You are going the right way. My path was headed toward darkness until you met me on my journey. This storm will pass. But now, remember me when you doubt.'  

You press on. Determined and courageous. All fear and doubt must leave because it has no place to reside in you. This same thing happens over and over again. Travelers that you met before now stand to cheer you on. 'Keep up the fight!' 'You are doing great!' 'I am praying for you!' One by one they come alongside you. Each one making it easier to whether the storm. 


Ministry is hard. I absolutely LOVE it...but boy is it hard some days. Those are the days that I wonder...did I choose the right path? Did I choose the right church? Did God tell us to stay...or was that our own desire? Am I in the right job...or should I give up and start over? Did I choose the right school for my children? Does God really WANT me to live in the snow belt of Pennsylvania? Really...does he? ;-)

Easy is not a foolproof implication that the choice you made is right. The enemy would LOVE for you to believe that. But truth is...if we are going along our daily lives and we aren't being challenged by the enemy...maybe we aren't being effective for the Kingdom either. If you are already headed away from the will of God...the enemy doesn't 'need' to lead you astray. He need only encourage you to stay!

If though...you are boldly living for Christ. If you are defeating the enemy at his game. If you are inviting others to come to church and praying with them to accept Christ...the war is so on. The enemy will hound. he will discourage. he will throw hurtful words at you...usually from people you love. he will distract you from moving forward. And he will get you to doubt if you are going the right way.

So how do you know? Are you making a difference? Who are the people on your path that were headed for eternity in hell...that are now following Jesus because you met them in their darkest hour? Salvation. People that are accepting Christ as their Lord and Savior...those are how you know you are on the same path that Jesus walked. Lives are being transformed...and you get to be a part of it. You give them the only thing that satisfies.

"Jesus answered, 'Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13-14

If you are struggling today with knowing if you are making a difference...write down the names of people you have encouraged this week/month/year. If you have someone that you led to Christ...write their name in BOLD. If you prayed with someone...write their name down. These are the people you think of when you doubt. When you doubt your call. When you doubt your ministry. When you doubt your position. When you doubt God. Picture the faces attached to the names you wrote down. They are your own personal proof. You are going the right way. Keep walking! The storm will pass...and your faith will be stronger! That is how Romans 8:28 works!

"You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." 1 Corinthians 3:2-3  In my words, let the effectiveness of your life IN ministry be proven by the lives you have touched. When you help heal hearts broken or lost, by just being available and speaking what God says...you will need no other proof. There is nothing greater than for the spiritually lost to become saved, and the broken to be restored in Jesus Name!

If you are staring at a blank sheet of paper..do not feel condemned. Instead...set your sight on Jesus. Maybe the reason you aren't being effective is because you are walking away from your call instead of towards. Maybe you are being distracted from seeing the people that are struggling along your way. Let today be the day you choose to be inspired by greatness. Not by 'Vanesa the Great'...but by the example set by Jesus. Imitate Him always!

Wake up early and meet with God, just as Jesus did. "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where He prayed." Mark 1:35

Let the person in front of you be the most important thing at that moment, just as Jesus did. "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 5:21

Pray for healing, just as Jesus did. "The whole town gathered at the door, and Jesus healed many who had various diseases." Mark 1:33-34

Pray for salvation among many, just as Jesus did. "Some men brought to Him a paralytic, lying on a mat. When Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralytic, 'Take heart, son; your sins are forgiven.' " Matthew 9:2

Do not sell yourself short...because the same Jesus that walked this earth...lives within you! Keep walking with Him. Follow His voice...you are finishing the ministry that HE began! =)

Playing to Win (Day TWENTY THREE-30 Day Challenge)

There is one seat left. Slowly you walk towards the table. You are in the mood to play a game and you are hoping to get a clue as to what game is being played and how high the stakes are. The players are silent but eerily intense. They each have a name hanging from a lanyard around their necks, but it is too dark to make them out. You slowly approach hoping to get a better view. Just as you squint your eyes to try to focus...

...the empty chair is pushed your way. Something within you feels uneasy...and yet you are not scared. You sit and glance around the table. The faces of your opponents are covered from the nose down. You still can't make out any of their names as the leader begins to deal the hand. All eyes are on you. Some of them are cold and harsh...some intimidatingly inviting. You begin to realize that maybe this wasn't the friendly game you thought it was. 

You pick up your hand. These cards are far from a normal deck. All of your cards are the same except for one. Your first instinct is to run, but you don't. You desperately want to ask what they are playing, but you don't. You feel almost paralyzed. They seem to be enjoying your apparent discomfort. The first card is played by the man sitting at the head of the table? It contains only one word. 'Gossip.'

The other players laugh. They begin, one by one, laying down a card from their own hand. They are forming a circle around 'gossip'. One card says 'friend'. One said says 'sister'. Another says 'Co-worker'. There was just one more player before it was your turn. He looked straight into your eyes as he pulled his mask down. He smiled and winked as he laid down his card.

There it was in black letters on a white card. The word...'church'. It sent a chill down your spine and a lump to your throat. Your eyes shifted to the now exposed lanyard around the last man's neck. Destroyer. It wasn't a name at all...it was his job title.

Your pulse begins to pick up as you look down at your cards. The man at the head of the table tells you that your card is to be placed directly on top of his. You've got to cover the word gossip with......   Six of your cards have the same word, 'victim'. Only one is different.  You aren't sure when to play it. How will you know what is to come? Should you save it for something that might be worse than gossip?

You close your eyes for a moment and you see your sister. Your friend. Your co-worker. You can actually see specific times when you gossiped about them. And you can now see how they looked when they found out. You feel empty and sick. You know the time is near. The opportunity to gossip about someone in church. Your heart rate picks up even more. The uneasiness is turning to fear.

Shame gets up from his chair and kneels next to you. He is the cause of this guilt trip you are on right now...and he wants to see your anguish up close. Anger is there and he is up next. A tear falls down your check and you whisper a word. A name. Jesus.

You take your only card of hope and place it over 'gossip'. It reads...'victor'. The room gets loud. Shouts are coming from all directions. Joyous praises are heard from angels all around the room. You hadn't seen them before but now you see them as they praise Jesus with excitement because you just CHOSE to defeat gossip. From the table comes many angry sneers that you would dare use that Name in their presence. They know the significance of that victory. It will be just one of many!

"I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Peace surrounds you. You open your eyes now with confidence. You look at your hand and now all but one of the cards, say victor. You gained strength in your faith in Jesus with that decision. And your hand is now stacked in your favor. Sure you still have free will. You will always still have the choice to fall into temptation...but NOW it is outnumbered by victory!!

"In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us." Romans 8:37

It is your choice. It always was. Victory was yours the moment you accepted Christ as your Lord and Savior. You were not meant to live a defeated life. You were not designed to be overcome by evil at every opportunity. God has victory for you...always. It may be a little messy to get to it...but it will be worth it.

The enemy knows that each time you accept defeat that you are more likely to do it again. he ALSO knows that when you choose victory, even if it goes against every natural desire you have; that you are more likely to choose it again! "Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit." John 3:6

The attacks of the enemy will continue. But the strength of his opponent...only grows. The more you allow Christ to break you free from the love of sin...the stronger you become in Him. You will always remember where you were...but you will no longer live in the death and destruction of it.

I know I write this a lot...but I truly mean it. It's not too late. If you have been caught up in sin...it's not too late for faith to gain strength in the Name of Jesus! It's not too late to choose victory, over victim. YOU allow yourself to be the victim of the enemy. YOU sometimes put others in the position of being the victim. It is always your choice. And even if you haven't been making the right ones...it's not too late. Never too late!

Say the name of Jesus right now. Scream it if you must. Know that there is POWER in that Name! Flee from sin. Flee from the places that draw you into sin. Flee from the people that encourage you to sin. Run to find a place where Jesus is welcome, living and active in the hearts of the people there. You choose. It's your life. And it will be only you on the day of judgement. It's not too late. It's never too late for you!

"The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 15:56-57

Comparing Scars (Day TWENTY-30 Day Challenge)

Growing up, I never really did too many things that could've resulted in a scar. I was the wuss cautious one. Being the youngest AND the only girl amidst 3 older brothers...someone had to throw out a caution flag here and there. A couple of years ago I had surgery to correct an ankle injury from 7 years prior. The incision just after the surgery was absolutely disgusting. The resulting scar is a great reminder that I endured much pain to fix what needed corrected.


Their accusations cut deep. The fresh wounds they've sliced open are now right on top of her old scars. She has felt this pain before. The wounds that were healed are now again open. She hadn't ever forgotten how those scars got there. Forgetting didn't even seem possible. Betrayal from within her circle of trust, those wounds always cut deepest. How will she recover and heal this time? What didn't she learn the first time around? 

She thinks for a moment about telling Jesus how unfair and cruel it all seems. She looks up to Heaven ready to file her complaint and she is immediately brought to silence at what she sees. She can't help it. She wants to...but she can't look away. The Hand that is reaching out to start her healing...has been here before. Accusation is what placed those scars in His hands. She compares her wounds to Jesus' and realizes; His required much endurance. She can do this!

The pain that comes before healing is evident, sometimes doesn't seem worth it when you are in it. Just like the pain from my ankle surgery seemed too much to bear for a mother of four (one of which was only 7 months old). Life just seemed impossible. Everything was difficult. Every aspect of my days seemed like a chore. On day 12 I'm sure if given the option...I would have magically reversed the surgery. I would have said that the pain I was experiencing in that moment wasn't worth the final outcome. How angry I would be now had I given up! Because I promise...day 13 was like a light switch was flipped in my recovery process. Day 12 I was miserable and not able to walk without crutches. Day 13...I was hobbling around like a pro. And now...I am so thankful that I endured. My ankle is stronger. My life is easier. And my perspective on difficult times...is always look toward healing. It's probably closer than you think. If you are about to give up...you are ALMOST THERE!

"Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:13-14

He does not attend to his fresh wounds alone this time around. Many warriors intercede at the leading of the Holy Spirit. Accusation. It may have caught him off guard...but it didn't knock him down like it had before. He knows where to go this time. His healing is close. His heart must first work through the initial 'entitlement to anger'. He gets through that step much more quickly than he did before. God is pleased and his son is released from all accusation. God knows. He remembers that all freedom came with a weighty price.

This man also knows full well that to wallow in his circumstance would only be stripping the Cross of its power and provision. When comparing scars with Jesus...He knows which one was cut and wounded more deeply. He bows his head and places his burdens at the foot of the cross. Jesus immediately takes those accusations from him. They are no longer his burden to carry. To some, his rapid healing almost seemed as though he had become calloused by his past. But Jesus knows better. He knows what surrender looks like. He rushes to his side. Jesus places His hand over the wounds of this man. The man can see his own blood through Jesus' scars. And for the first time he truly understands...

"Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:4-5

What is your position? When pain is inflicted on you by someone you trust, what is your response? Those first reactions say a lot about your character. Notice I didn't say your initial thoughts. We battle with our thoughts in those first days following betrayal or malicious slander. That process is necessary for weeding out the evil thoughts from ever becoming something you act on.

What wounds are you still trying to nurse that God is saying..."I long to heal." You keep scraping off your scab because the enemy is causing irritation. Itching. Discomfort. What you don't realize is that you are reopening what was almost a scar of wisdom. Whatever you endure...it will make you stronger. Not calloused. Not hardened...but strong. I declare it in Jesus name!! =)

Work Work Work (Day NINETEEN-30 Day Challenge)

How many hours a day do you spend at work? Take the number and multiply it by the number of days you work in a week...and then how many weeks you work a year. I'm not really asking you to do the math. And I promise, I'm not trying to depress you. Lol! I'm certainly not doing the math, this early in the morning, on my end. (Just for the record...my husband would totally have a number in his head already. No idiot machine (calculator) required. He throws out random numbers that make sense to no one...and comes up with the right answer. Every time. Every. Stinkin. Time!) For me... it is tooooooo early for such things. Speaking of math though. In high school I woke up EARLY to take Calculus, which I understood absolutely NONE of. Oy...who does that!?! *Vanesa shudders*

The point I am trying to make with all the math superstar babble, is that most of us spend a lot of the hours of our day at work. Out of one 24 hour day...many people spend over 1/3 of it at work. That leaves them with 2/3 to do as they please...but sleep has GOT to be almost another 1/3. Do the math...how much is left?!

When you really sit back and think about your day to day...would you say that you invite God to all three 1/3's of each day? Right before you sleep do you talk to God about your previous and upcoming day? Do you thank Him for today and ask for His will for tomorrow? Or do you fall asleep to the needless noise of your television? God longs to hear from you. He would love for you to tell Him all about the day you just had. He saw it...but He loves to see it through your eyes! Invite Him to your night of slumber. Make Him the last thing you think of before you lay that pretty little head down.

Now lets go to the personal/family time portion of your days. Do you make Him a part of those hours? Does He have a leading role...or is He just an extra on the scene? Is He visible but unnoticed. Is He ready and hopeful but in the way and ignored.

God is not meant to be an extra in your life. He is to be the director. The director who allows you to have your own creative inspiration...and who stops you when what your doing isn't working. He sees something different and specific that you can't see on His screen. You are a part of His cast...and He wants to give you opportunity to shine! Invite Him.

He sits down at his desk and let's out a sigh. Not of relief...but of frustration and disgust. He's tried everything he could think of...and he's out.of.options. He wants to help his clients. He wants to further their business and his company...but the outlook is not looking good. One by one he gets rejected. Phone call after phone call...no one is willing to offer help. What now?

Invite Him. Work is such a HUGE part of your day, week, year, life. Why would you think it would be a good idea to leave God out of it?! Or have you really not thought of it? He sees your struggle. He has some stellar ideas for you...just ask and be willing to listen. You would humble yourself before you boss and ask for help...so why not God? Why is He not a huge part of every aspect of your work day?!

This man is well respected and trusted by his clients. At this point, the man who always has something to say...has nothing. He has no idea what he will tell them. He is just sick about it. Then he feels the urgency to pray. God says..."Make one last phone call." He argues that he has already tried that. God says, "Do you trust me?" The man reaches for the phone and prays...'God give me favor so that I might speak of your faithfulness in my workplace.'

How much different would your days be if you invited God...like really asked Him to be IN each meeting, phone conversation, presentation and appointment you had. Every. Single. One! How much would your company flourish? What is stopping you? The answer is simple. The enemy is distracting and frustrating you...and you are following his scheme like a puppy follows anything that moves. Lol!

Do you have an impossible situation that you have no idea how to handle? You know, the type of scenario where no matter what you can come up with, no one wins. Let me give you a few great reasons to invite Him to help......

1. "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,' declares The Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

2. "Now to Him who is able to to immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

If you can't come up with an answer...don't doubt that God can. His thoughts are not yours. They are nothing like them. They are far above and way outside of the box you are capable of thinking in. And if you don't ask...how are you ever going to get the 'immeasurably more' than He promises?! It doesn't make sense to not ask does it? It surely isn't the smartest decision you have made...to suffer on your own and be okay with it. Ask. For the sake of your sanity. For the moving forward with your business and for the sake of your clients...invite God to be the head of it. And encourage your employees to do the same.

He sits back and sighs. This time with a smile on his face and a tear in his eye. God blessed him. He had left God out of the entire process...and God still chose to bless Him the moment he asked. His faith gained strength that day. His business would never be the same. And his trust in God...it had to be shared! He picked up the phone to call his client...with an amazing testimony. It all became reality because his heart was soft, his intention was pure and he was willing to extend...a simple invitation.

Run After Defeat (Day SEVENTEEN-30 Day Challenge)

I'm not asking, better yet, I'm not suggesting that you accept defeat. I'm not telling you to lay down and give the enemy victory. Oh no no no no. I have not endured without gaining at least a few sweet morsels of knowledge. And I cling to what I have been taught through my times of greatest defeat. I am challenging you again today to run AFTER defeat(ing). I don't want defeat to consume you in a negative way. I want you to pursue the act of defeating. Do you see the difference?

She walks down the hall of her workplace. Today was her first day back after her devastating tragedy. Her mind races with questions. She wonders how she will face these people again? Can she really hold it together for an entire work day? And then again, day after day after day. How can she tell people that she really needs normal again...but she has no idea how to get there?

A woman walks up to her registration counter at the hospital with a simple order from her doctor. Just the sight of this woman makes her heart beat faster with anxiety. As she looks down at the paper...a single tear falls. As she begins asking the woman questions to verify her current address and such...the tears will.not.stop. The expectant mother goes along her way, very confused by a strangers tears.

And there this girl sits at her desk...defeated. God sees her. And He says to Himself, "That's one."

She remembers a few weeks back when it was her that was coming in for a sonogram. She also remembers the day of her last one. She knew what the outcome would be before she ever went in. 'Complications in pregnancy' had never ended well for her. The sonogram technician was silent. In fact, the air in the room was heavy with silence. Everyone knew, but no one would speak. A baby at sixteen weeks should be moving and active. He was not. His heart should be visibly beating. It was not. His measurable size should coincide with his gestational age. It did not.

At the suggestion of her occupational health nurse, she leaves work early that day. She can't bear to keep seeing these expectant mothers. She hates that she can't control her emotions. She does not want to feel bitter towards these women in their happiest hour, so she just removes herself from it all together.

She unwillingly attends the parties on that Christmas day. It was her first Christmas as a newlywed and as a mother. A grieving, broken, childless mother. She had delivered and held her son in her bathroom just five days before Christmas that year. Why had he stopped growing at 11 weeks? How would she ever forget what he looked like? How could she? As one of the only three people that saw him that night...how could she dare forget her son?

She quietly and without faking joy, opens gifts on that Christmas day...defeated. God sees her. He says to Himself, "That's two."

She attends her favorite morning women's bible study. It's full of women she loves. She trusts. She clings to. They are reading a book together that has nothing to do with miscarriage or mourning. But that is all she can think of. It seems to consume every part of her day. She wants to speak but she is sure they are tired of listening. She longs for fervent prayer from these women of faith but she does not ask.

She went hoping to be uplifted and by her choice she left...defeated. God sees her. And He says to Himself, "That's three."

Defeat came to her in many different forms. It came without her realization some days. Other times defeated mocked her and dared slap her in the face. God was there for each one. He saw. And He knew how many times she would accept defeat before she would allow Him to help her overcome it. He counted. Each time a little more excited for her day to come. She was not inviting Him to overcome her defeated spirit yet...but He knew it was coming. It was close!

I know much about that woman...because I am her. I lived many years IN defeat. I didn't ask for God's solutions...because I had come to know this solemn place in which I spent my days. It seemed too hard to climb out of It. Becoming healthy seemed too far away for me to grasp. So I stayed. IN DEFEAT!

But that day I described. That day when I invited God to my circumstance. He said, "THAT'S IT! That was the last time my child. Stand up against your enemy. You will no longer take his position as the defeated. Stand up...I've been waiting and I'm ready to fight with you!" That day came. That day changed my faith. 

Now, I'm the one mocking the enemy with defeat. "No weapon forged against you will prevail..." Isaiah 54:17 Forged-to give form or shape to, especially by means of careful effort. Prevail-to be greater in strength; triumph. Let's re-write that verse with those two key words defined. 

"No weapon formed against against you by means of careful effort will triumph." 

On the days you feel weak. On the days you want to give up. On the days your fight is failing. Remind the enemy, out loud, of this verse. Quote it often. Scream it if you need to. Just let it be known that he does not win.

Pursue defeat. Hunt the enemy down in his scheme. Learn to fight him with the truth. he's no match for our Sword. he knows all about what it contains...and he trembles when you gain strength from it. I read a quote a couple weeks ago that stated my point exactly. It is my new favorite!!

"If the enemy knew what I would be after the storm, he would have left me alone." 

(Borrowed from Chrystal Evans Hurst's Facebook page. She is the daughter of Pastor Tony Evans :-)  )

Planting Weeds (Day TWELVE-30 Day Challenge)

Ahhhh gardening. It does not matter if it is fruit and veggies or bushes and flowers; it is an enjoyably therapeutic pastime for some and an incredibly frustrating disappointment for others. Raise your hand if you are a gardener. You totally did it didn't you? Bahahaha...you are so predictable. ;-) I guarantee if you raised your hand it is because you either enjoy it...or have had success with it.

Whether you are a successful gardener or not...you can still appreciate the work and simple concepts of the labor intensive process. You put the time, sweat and work in...you yield the blessing of the crop. Or you labor, cut and prune and you enjoy the beauty of some of God's finest handiwork. 

Gardening for me is so NOT like therapy. If anything...it causes the need for anger management. Lol! ;-) For me it isn't about our success in getting the crop to grow...but about what destroys it before it is mature and ripe enough for use. My husband and I learned from our first garden, that a fence was necessary on our farm of 'roaming goats'. Lol! We have two short, plump pygmy goats. Salt and Pepper. Yes, Salt is white and Pepper is brown. We are not the most creative bunch. Lol! So this spring, during the planting season, we got smart. We built a raised garden and surrounded it with an electric fence. No more goat problems right? Right!

BUT, just so we are clear and incase you were not aware...chickens can fly over electric fences. :-/ So far this season...I have gotten ONE lonely tomato from my garden. I chopped it up immediately and put it in a taco salad I was eating for lunch that day. I didn't want there to be any chance of that precious fruit of my labor getting eaten or dropped. Lol! Every other sign of life has been eaten just as quick as it began to grow. My cute little, greens tomatoes...devoured before they were ready. Grrrrrr!

Let's spin this garden to a faith lesson. In Psalm 145:13-14 David writes, "Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your domain endures through all generations. The Lord is faithful to all His promises and loving toward all He has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down."

Think of a promise God has given you. Do you KNOW, do you really honestly trust the words of this Psalm? Do you wholeheartedly believe that no matter the circumstantial evidence...God IS faithful to ALL of His promises? Do. not. doubt. them. Do not waver. Hold on tight because He has not forgotten you. Read and reread the above verse as often as you have a tiny seed of doubt. Do not let it take root in your heart!

Let's say that the promises of God are like seeds planted along the path you are traveling. The enemy immediately comes along behind and surrounds those brand new baby seeds with weeds. his goal is to choke out that seed quickly. he wants you to give up on that promise before you've had a chance to really grasp it. he wants you to give up before that dream takes root. he wants you to shrug it off as a dream rather than a promise. he wants you to die without those promises ever becoming reality because of the weeds he strategically placed to choke them out.

The weeds are a nuisance. They destroy without thought or remorse. They just grow because they are planted. They are not to be held responsible. It is the planter. The hand that planted them is to blame. Have you ever been a planter of seeds of doubt? I remember the first person I ever told that I wanted to write a book. The first thought that came back at me was that it was just a dream that probably would never happen. I let that weed grow tall and strong. My promise from God was hidden in the shadow of doubt. Then one day I was strong enough and smart enough to know how vital weeding is to a healthy garden.

The weeds of doubt and untruth had to be ripped out. I found truth in the word of God...and I stood on it. I know God's track record. I know His scale of goodness and mercy is tipped in my favor. I know His desire for my life...because He told me. He showed me in a vision. I'm in constant communication with Him. So now those weeds don't. Have. A. Stinkin'. Chance. :-)

Let's go back to the planter of seeds. We've all planted a few. Hopefully without intent. Does this type of gardener currently describe you? When a Christian comes to you and tells you of a aspiration or life goal...are you the first to squelch it? Are you the first cast that shadow of doubt? You feel like you are just being a realist. You are excusing your actions because you are merely trying to save them from disappointment. 

BUT...you are not God. You can't even get onto a scale with Him because if He dropped a even a hangnail from His finger onto that scale, He'd send you sailing though the air. Your thoughts are not His thoughts. They are too small and simple minded. They are too into self. They are too limited by your view.

Hold onto God's promises for yourself...and be passionate about it. Mediocrity has been done...and it is not appealing to anyone that desires life over death. Passion is what draws people in. Christ is what keeps them there. And when you hear an aspiration of a fellow believer that seems like a stretch...stretch. Allow your faith be stretched. Believe and pray against your own tendency to have unbelief. Let your mind be opened to the promises of God. 

Stop. planting. weeds. Stop standing in the way of the Son. Stop stomping on others promises because you are also missing out on your own. Stop devouring others dreams with your own doubt in the Word of God. INSTEAD...share your crop of promise. Teach others how to have successful gardening experiences. That is how we believers in the Word roll.

"God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man, that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?" Numbers 23:19-20

The Undoing Minions (Day EIGHT-30 Day Challenge)

Do you ever feel like the harder you work, the more quickly things seem to get undone. Almost like there are these magical little minions that follow behind and ‘undo’? If your answer is no, then you clearly do not have small children…or you have forgotten what it was like when you did. It’s okay…I will paint the mental picture for you. You KNOW how I love to do that! OR…if you’d like, you can borrow some of my minions for a day week month so that you can truly appreciate where I am coming from. ;-)

It can be frustrating at times, can’t it? You quickly sweep through the house picking up every last tiny thing on the floor that is leaving it cluttered. You get to the last room and look back to take pride in your work. *Heart sinks, blood begins to simmer slightly.* You might as well have just stayed in bed. Everything you did…was undone quicker than you could keep up. Now add dishes in the sink because these minions need an energy source. Add dirty clothes to the floor as they also feel they need ‘fresh’ clothes daily. Pile on more clothes if they decide a pop-up dress-up session   should occur, in which case their ‘fresh’ outfit somehow quickly becomes unfit to wear again. Now add juice to the floor and milk logged cheerios to the breakfast table. *Heart rate picks up, blood starting to boil and slightly over-the-top screaming seems like it should probably commence.* Gahhhh!

What do my minions have to do with faith, you ask? I’m about to go there in 3, 2, 1…

 

How do you think our lives look to God? How many times do you think He leads us down the perfect path for our own personal journey of faith and by our choice we mess it up? We are clipping along and just for a second we glance to the left and right. We take our eyes off the goal. We start to see people on their own paths looking like they are having WAY more fun. Or maybe their path seems so much smoother and easier than this uphill climb we are currently on. Discontentment starts to settle in our hearts. We aren’t even looking forward anymore. Every rock.   Every pothole. They are now unseen. We stumble and we blame…who? Where were you on THAT one God?! We roll our eyes and still they continue in their state of roaming. Our focus has not been on our goal in quite some time. We can’t take it any more. We jump paths. And with one thoughtless decision we undo.

I know it is probably not likely…but I like to picture God watching this scenario above. I picture Him on the edge of His throne. Watching and anticipating the choice. Rooting for you to just put your eyes back on your own path. Wanting desperately for you to turn your focus back to Him. But He is not your puppeteer. He is your Creator. So he let’s you choose. He sees that you are stumbling over every obstacle…and He wants you to just pay attention to your own path. He will guide you around them if you’d just choose Him. Focus on Him and even if you stumble He will not let you fall. You selfishly and without thought of Him choose to jump paths…He smacks His forehead and sighs.

Your perfect path is now changed. He can absolutely still work with it. He will, without a doubt, still bless you. He will surely still guide you. But His will got set aside by you…and He longed for more. He had more in store. Your neighbors smooth, easy path that you focused on and then jumped to…has some large mountains ahead. Your friend was going through a time of growth and they are about to be tested in their endurance. Now, you will have to endure the test as well. You will need Him. Do not give up. Set your eyes on Him again and He will restore the time you lost.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28  It is my most quoted verse because this verse covers over every bad decision I’ve made. It covers every bad decision someone else made that effected me. It brings purpose to every painful thing I’ve endured. I’m always learning and never content with what I know. I’m always growing in Christ…and never willing to stay where I am in my relationship with Him. I want more. I desire more. I want to find the purpose of my pain. I want to find the source of my doubt so that I can conquer it in Jesus name. I want to choose on purpose what will push me toward God and flee from what won’t.

 

Ah the choice. I wrote about it on Day Six of this 30 day challenge. Free will, always allows us to choose. Choices. Some days I wish I didn’t have so many of them. Other days I wish I had none. I am not a very speedy decision maker…and it can be annoying/frustrating for those who just want to know where I would like to go out to dinner. Or which pair of pants I would like to buy. *Shrugs shoulders. It’s in my DNA make-up…feel free to take it up with the Big Guy. Lol!*

Why give us a choice at all? Why didn’t God just create us all to be a part of a world-wide puppet show? Where is the passion in that? Why would we desire to go deeper? Why would talk to Him? It wouldn’t make a difference.

God wants us to have choice. He wants us to use that brain He intricately designed to CHOOSE Him. Puppets are not capable of love. He wants us to learn to love Him through every laugh and every tear. To learn to trust Him in and with every choice. To desire a relationship with Him. To talk to Him as often as we think of Him. To dig into His Word and discover truth like never before. To never be okay with how much we know His character and His truth. To never walk by an opportunity to serve and uplift anyone. To want to share His faithfulness to anyone who needs Him.

We choose Christ, we win and gain purpose.

What if we don’t choose on purpose? What if we just allow life to choose us? The world will surely draw us in. By not choosing…you will absolutely be choosing.

Today, stop looking at the path of those around you. Stop comparing. You were designed on purpose, for a purpose. You are uniquely you   because there are people that need you. There are ministries awaiting you. There are lost souls that need you to pay attention to your own path because they are on it. At some point your paths will cross. How will you see them if you aren’t looking ahead. When you run into them…will you be annoyed that they were there? Will you get angry that they are just another obstacle that you to stumbled over? Or will you rather see them as an object of your goal on your path?

Don’t jump paths.   The grass is never as green as it seems from your distorted view. You can only see clearly when you focus ahead. When you pay attention to strengthening your own weaknesses and not pointing out your neighbors. God has more for you than you are allowing in. Set your eyes on Him and get stubborn. Put you game face on. Let the enemy see it. Let him know you are done playing his game. Put your sneakers on and walk your path. No matter how hard it looks, walk looking ahead. Dig your feet into the soil and stand firm when the winds of doubt try to blow you over. You are heading the right way. Your path will overflow with purpose if you look for it. It will lead you to true contentment. It will abound with joy. Because you are choosing the way of Christ over the way of *Insert your name here*. And when you gain confidence…run toward your goal…and flee from the scheme of the enemy. We don’t have time to waste. This journey just got serious!

Contagious Generosity (Day FIVE-30 Day Challenge)

Good morning all!

It is Thursday…which you know means it is almost Friday. More importantly…we are one day closer to SUNDAY! Do you love Sundays?!?! I just love them. I get to spend Sundays with some pretty amazing people. I am so excited and blessed that God has brought me to my church. I thank Him often, as I am blown away by their generosity. And I don’t just mean financial generosity or tangible gifts. There are people within the walls of my church that are teaching me, by example, to be generous with my time. They make themselves available whenever ministry happens. These people I am blessed to know are generous with their encouragement. They are generous with their affection. They are generous with their covering of prayer. They are generous with their blessings. Generosity comes in so many different avenues!

The main road from which ALL avenues of generosity should stem…is the heart. Willingly AND happily giving because God has asked, is not a pre-requisite. IT SHOULD BE…but you are surely ABLE to give with the wrong heart condition. You can give a compliment and expect a return. You can hold out the blessing God has asked for you to give, with a hand clenched, and a icy glare. Almost challenging the recipient to dare take that which God has instructed you to give to bless them. We can always mess up God’s blessing. Think about this though…

Let’s pretend that you are asked to bless someone with a financial/tangible gift. You do it…but your heart is NOT into it. You give begrudgingly. You talk behind the recipients back about how they should’ve been smarter with their finances. You hold your hands out. One with the blessing. One with your own expectation. A return. You are waiting for the groveling at your feet. For the million pleading thank you’s. And if your unspoken expectations are not met…you deem them ungrateful.

What, besides the obvious heart issue, is wrong with that mentality? Why is it even something we should try to remedy? YOU. ARE. THE. ONE. THAT. IS. CHOOSING. TO. NOT. BE. BLESSED! When you, with the right heart, bless someone with words of affirmation, gifts, meals, time, prayers, etc…you ARE blessed in return. When you aren’t expecting it because you are ‘entitled’…I promise it will absolutely floor you. It is all about your heart condition. We give generously because God does not hold back. His scale is already tipped one way on what He deserves compared to what we do. His resources are nothing like ours. We give as He leads…because we trust HIM! If we don’t give when
He asks…I would say not only is it a heart issue that MUST be addressed…it is also a trust issue.
Can God replace what He has already given you if He asks you to give it up? YES! That might be the whole point of the blessing. A teachable moment! He can use anything to stretch us in our faith/trust.
Are we willing to change? I pray so!

Let’s look up some verses to help prove God’s point for today. I don’t want you to take MY word for it. Dive into HIS! Don’t set out to prove me wrong…set out to prove Scripture to be right and relevant in your heart of generosity.

“One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly(which means excessively), but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” Proverbs 11:24-25  Keep giving when God leads. Keep blessing with right heart motives. God promises you WILL be taken care of. You will be refreshed. You will gain even more. Those are the inspired Words of God…not of Vanesa! Unfortunately I don’t have the resources to give all that this world needs…but, thankfully, I have access to someone who absolutely DOES! And maybe, just maybe, the gift you give is not at all about the gift. Maybe, instead, it is about showing the heart of Christ to someone who is silently struggling. Maybe this small act of obedience on your part is meant to be a turning point for the person receiving it. Maybe they are just waiting for someone to truly and openly live the heart of Christ before they themselves become sold out for Him.

You see little. God sees ALL. Who’s perspective do you trust?! Let’s set up a picture in your mind.

You know how I LOVE to do that. I want this to stick! I don’t want it to be easily forgotten!! Put yourself at the top of the Grand Canyon. Place a camera in your hand. Put your eye up close to the teensy-weensy view window. Put your head down and focus on one of your own feet through the eye of the camera. You can see only where you are standing at that moment. You can’t see the next step. You don’t know where you might stumble. You can’t see the beauty that comes after years of shaping. You don’t know where danger is. You don’t know what lies ahead…because you only see your own focused, little path. One shoe. Tattered. Beaten. Tired. How can you take a step of faith to give, what you have been given mind you, when you don’t KNOW what is to come?

Now take the camera down to your side. Look up. Open your eyes to the beauty that lies ahead. Trust that even though you don’t know how to shape this impossible rock…you know One who does. He’s not asking you to figure it out. He’s not even asking you to try. He’s asking you to trust. Give freely…and trust without question. You see little. God sees ALL and it is beautiful!

“Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.” 1 Timothy 6:17-18

We can’t allow the world to out-give us. Some of the most generous people I know are spiritually lost. =( How sad that makes me for them…and also for the example that we, the church, are not living up to. I understand that this not a competition. I’m not trying to make it out to be. How can we expect the world to learn Godly generosity without an example? Notice the title of today’s post. Contagious generosity. I would say the opposite side of this coin is infectious hoarding.

John 3:6 says, “Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.” Radical generosity is contagious! It is exciting! It is humbling. When you listen to the Holy Spirit that lives within you…it gives new birth to that generous mentality in others. OR…you stay in your flesh. You withhold. You talk about how you had to work hard for what you have…and you deserve to be comfortable. And those words, that mentality give birth to others to live in the flesh. To only see in the natural. You choose what type of birthing coach you want to be. Choose carefully. Choose wisely. One will bless you. One will keep you stagnant and in wanting.

Extravagant generosity. What causes a Christian to be just that? Extravagantly generous! Simple. God. They are concerned with pleasing God. They are concerned with giving back to God what He has blessed them with. It is the anonymous man who walked into the Christian Academy that my children attend for grade school. He asked a simple question. “What is the amount needed to pay off your newly finished school building?” He wrote one check. He had extravagant love for children he might never meet. That is the type of generosity that is contagious. He did not require a plaque in his honor. He quietly and confidently offered a check written out with six figures (BEFORE the .00)... to bless a community of the next generation. You do not have to compete. If someone like this man wanted it to be about the amount for competition…I would know his name. Instead, I am clueless. I am thankful. I aspire to be that faith-filled with my abundance!

How can you be contagiously generous today? It doesn’t have to cost you a dime…but it may. =) My family and I were the recipients of MANY MANY blessings last week. I was overwhelmed by the goodness of God! I was humbled at the specific gifts that God gave. I was floored by the them all. Each of them surpassed the need…and even covered what I hadn’t even asked God for. He saw the need…and He raised me a few wants. Lol! So this week…will I choose to let that generosity be contagious? Or will I let it die? Will I let that Spiritual blessing give birth to the out flowing of many more spiritual blessings?

I command contagious generosity in all forms to flow freely in/through me this week! I want people to know that I adore Christ when they meet me! I’m praying for you to have opportunities just as I am me. I want divine appointments to be evident to you. I’d love to hear about them too!!! Please?! Ha-ha! Until then…love to love ya!