Comparing Scars (Day TWENTY-30 Day Challenge)

Growing up, I never really did too many things that could've resulted in a scar. I was the wuss cautious one. Being the youngest AND the only girl amidst 3 older brothers...someone had to throw out a caution flag here and there. A couple of years ago I had surgery to correct an ankle injury from 7 years prior. The incision just after the surgery was absolutely disgusting. The resulting scar is a great reminder that I endured much pain to fix what needed corrected.


Their accusations cut deep. The fresh wounds they've sliced open are now right on top of her old scars. She has felt this pain before. The wounds that were healed are now again open. She hadn't ever forgotten how those scars got there. Forgetting didn't even seem possible. Betrayal from within her circle of trust, those wounds always cut deepest. How will she recover and heal this time? What didn't she learn the first time around? 

She thinks for a moment about telling Jesus how unfair and cruel it all seems. She looks up to Heaven ready to file her complaint and she is immediately brought to silence at what she sees. She can't help it. She wants to...but she can't look away. The Hand that is reaching out to start her healing...has been here before. Accusation is what placed those scars in His hands. She compares her wounds to Jesus' and realizes; His required much endurance. She can do this!

The pain that comes before healing is evident, sometimes doesn't seem worth it when you are in it. Just like the pain from my ankle surgery seemed too much to bear for a mother of four (one of which was only 7 months old). Life just seemed impossible. Everything was difficult. Every aspect of my days seemed like a chore. On day 12 I'm sure if given the option...I would have magically reversed the surgery. I would have said that the pain I was experiencing in that moment wasn't worth the final outcome. How angry I would be now had I given up! Because I promise...day 13 was like a light switch was flipped in my recovery process. Day 12 I was miserable and not able to walk without crutches. Day 13...I was hobbling around like a pro. And now...I am so thankful that I endured. My ankle is stronger. My life is easier. And my perspective on difficult times...is always look toward healing. It's probably closer than you think. If you are about to give up...you are ALMOST THERE!

"Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." Exodus 14:13-14

He does not attend to his fresh wounds alone this time around. Many warriors intercede at the leading of the Holy Spirit. Accusation. It may have caught him off guard...but it didn't knock him down like it had before. He knows where to go this time. His healing is close. His heart must first work through the initial 'entitlement to anger'. He gets through that step much more quickly than he did before. God is pleased and his son is released from all accusation. God knows. He remembers that all freedom came with a weighty price.

This man also knows full well that to wallow in his circumstance would only be stripping the Cross of its power and provision. When comparing scars with Jesus...He knows which one was cut and wounded more deeply. He bows his head and places his burdens at the foot of the cross. Jesus immediately takes those accusations from him. They are no longer his burden to carry. To some, his rapid healing almost seemed as though he had become calloused by his past. But Jesus knows better. He knows what surrender looks like. He rushes to his side. Jesus places His hand over the wounds of this man. The man can see his own blood through Jesus' scars. And for the first time he truly understands...

"Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:4-5

What is your position? When pain is inflicted on you by someone you trust, what is your response? Those first reactions say a lot about your character. Notice I didn't say your initial thoughts. We battle with our thoughts in those first days following betrayal or malicious slander. That process is necessary for weeding out the evil thoughts from ever becoming something you act on.

What wounds are you still trying to nurse that God is saying..."I long to heal." You keep scraping off your scab because the enemy is causing irritation. Itching. Discomfort. What you don't realize is that you are reopening what was almost a scar of wisdom. Whatever you endure...it will make you stronger. Not calloused. Not hardened...but strong. I declare it in Jesus name!! =)

From Reeboks to Appliances...Greed Lives On

Do you all remember the post I wrote titled "Take the Greed Quiz"?  Click here if you want to take a minute now to read it quickly. This is what God has been teaching me here and there over the last 3 months. I allowed greed in at a young age. I never truly dealt with it and defeated it. And now...it has been there for so long, it as if it is masked. Well...God exposed it in a new way to me today. And I am struggling to share it. Pride I guess. The approval of my Father though, that means more to me than judgement from my peers. So...I begin...

Can you remember back when you were in grade school. What kinds of things were important to you? What were the things that you needed in order to feel accepted? I can remember some of mine. It is almost funny to think of them...until God revealed that my mindset is the same...just larger 'things' are required for that 'acceptance'.

Anyone out there born in the 80's? If you were in school during the late 80's you will remember high-top sneakers. You will also remember the sneakers that had the little pump that looked like they sawed a basketball in half and slapped it on the extra large tongue of the shoe.

Yep...I had to have those. Mine were purple Reebok's. Most importantly...the pump was bright purple!! No one treated me any differently because I had them.

Or how about 'the puff'? If you know what I am referring to without explanation...you probably had one too. (I'm sorry. Lol! Kidding....) The 'puff' was the mass of curled bangs, laquered shelacked hair sprayed to the point of complete stiffness...large and in charge. If yours got destroyed by the rain or snow in the 17 mile (exaggeration...eh...maybe a bit) trek to school...I feel for you. Some of my friends said that my 'puff' was the best. *rubs nails on shirt here in a pride-filled way...takes sarcastic bow here...* Blankly stares. Even with all of the praise about my puff...I can think of two people who I thought had a better puff. I will keep the names to myself so as not to start a fight. Lol! No one treated me any differently because I had an awesome puff.

Onto high school in the to late 90's. Levi's jeans...those were the next hot thing. In grade school it was acceptable to wear sweatpants. (I remember one classmate who wore them EVERYDAY! One day he wore jeans to school. All the girls swooned over him. The next day...back to the sweats. Lol!) Just last week I came accross a picture of me in the newspaper for winning some sort of a writing contest. The three other winners and myself...all wearing sweatpants. (I pondered the thought of scanning the picture in...but I wasn't sure the other gentleman would appreciate it. Lol! Also...the legs of my sweatpants were pulled up to just below my knee...so that was hot. Ack! Back to the jeans.)
That little red tag on the pocket of my Levi's was vital.

I remember having one pair that had a tag but it did not say Levi.

It just had a trademark R on it. I was so mad. With or without the word on the tag...no one treated me any differently because I had Levi's on.

Are you seeing a trend? No one cared as much as I did. I adopted this behavior young and kept it. I didn't realize I kept it...but let me put it as God did to me this morning. The following question comes from the devotional "Embraced by God" by Max Lucado.

"How does greed show itself even in the necessities of life like food and clothing?"
My response...We are rarely satisfied by having our needs met. We see more and we want more. We can shop in stores. We can longingly look into the windows of stores we walk by. Then there are all of the catalogs that get mailed directly to our houses. And who could forget the limit free world of online shopping. It is relentless. It is addicting. It is without boundaries. We are bombarded with ads and deals and coupons and sales. Each time...a new opportunity to become uncontent. Or is it discontent? You know what I mean. (Nowadays...I get a catalog...and I throw it away. I have learned. The lists that I have made for all the things I need want...just make me uneasy. The catalog filled with circled and starred items...pointless!)

Someone else always has something that looks better. That is such a one year old mentality. Seriously...I have a one year old. He has a toy. He sees a different toy. He grabs for it. Screams about it. Is no longer satisfied with whatever he had.

This mentality began as an infant.

What I am realizing, is that I am still fighting with it. I didn't realize it sooner because it is not spoken. Just thought. I don't go around throwing tantrums when I see someone with better food. Appliances. Clothing. Houses. Farms. Gardens. Books. Journals. Mugs. Make-up. Vehicles. Campers. ATV's. Talents. Need I go on? See what I was saying? Same mentality...just some larger, more expensive 'things'.

It is a mind thing. I need to rejoice always. To always be content with what I am given. To always be thankful for who I am, where I am, and what I have. It would be better if I did throw a fit...atleast then I would know how often it happens. It was sneaking right by me.

As if masked.

Here is my prayer. You can pray the same, or you can write your own. Just don't let another day go by that greed fills your heart or mind. God has revealed it to me...and I have written it out for you...now go do something about it. =)

God...
Ugh, I need to defeat this greedy, selfish mentality right now, in Jesus Name! This is ridiculous. I have been holding onto silent, masked greed. Now it is exposed. I choose to be content. With where I am. With what I have. Your provision is sufficient for me. I am blessed. I will not desire what I do not have. God please make Your thoughts, my thoughts. Make Your ways, my ways. I need You to renew my mind to be Christ-like. I know Your voice and I will no longer listen to the father of lies. he has been unveiled again. I am not ashamed...I am sorry. Please forgive me and my greed-tainted heart. Help me to rejoice in your provision and blessing to everyone around me. Help me to rejoice even if I am in want...because you have my needs covered. I am blessed more than I have asked to be. Reveal Your goodness to me in new ways. In Jesus Name...I claim victory. I am the head and not the tail. I am above and not below. I will not live as if I am defeated! I praise You for Your never-ending love and faithfulness!
Love...V