Blessed

I am not even sure where to begin.

I am blessed because of who my Father is.

I am blessed because of who God gave to me as a husband.

I am blessed because I have 7 children…4 of which I get to hug and kiss daily, and 3 that have already made it to Heaven. Praise God!!

I am blessed because I live in a place where I can speak about God to anyone, anytime, anywhere.

I am blessed because I can praise God through song.

I am blessed because I can worship God through my writing.

I am blessed because I have Jesus in my heart, and I talk to Him all day long.

I am blessed because I am surrounded by powerful women of God, who love me.

I am blessed because I get to be used my God as often as I allow.

I am blessed because God provides for my needs…and He cares about some of my wants even. (Like a new van…and a latte here and there. =)

I am blessed because I have friends that love me through the best and worst of times.

I am blessed because my mother has a wonderful, caring, generous spirit.

I am blessed because I get to spend time with grown-ups.

I am blessed because my kids love me.

I am blessed because I am a prayer warrior.

How about you? Why are you blessed. Sit down and think about it. You will be amazed at how good God is to you. Tell Him. Brag about Him. Picture Him smiling as He reads it. You, my friend, just made His day. =) What a wonderful thought!!

Healing is simple and yet complex

I know I know...that title doesn't even make sense. I will explain. Some people don't even like to talk about God's healing. They are leary of it. I tend to be one of those people. Who doesn't just trust every person that crosses my path that says they hear from God. I sense in my spirit that some people may not be relying fully on the power of God. I am not meaning that they are relying on powers from the enemy...but instead that they may be mixing a bit of themselves in with what God is doing. I recently had an experience that was NOT at all like that.

A man named Jeremy Gall came to our church. He and his wife are passionate about the lost and broken. It was refreshing to see people that love the lost so much that they are willing to travel wherever God leads, to bring them to know their Father. And the broken that needed healing...it was as simple as praying in the name of JESUS. There is power in that name!

Simple for us. Just ask. Believe. And wait on God.

The complexity is on God's end. To take someone who is hurting or broken in some way...and to heal them. It is not complex for Him...but for our brains to wrap around...that is another story. He designed our bodies. He created each to function as it does. He knows exactly what to do to make it whole again. Simple...yet complex. Confused yet? Haha...stay with me. I have an exciting testimony of His goodness. Read on...

So, what is my story? (You should've known I had one. Come on...you should be used to this by now. Lol!) My story is about my migraines. Migraines that were due to hormones...something I can't control. Migraines that were coming every day for 13 out of 30 days in a month. Migraines that put me on my couch covering my eyes from the light...wishing that someone was there to take my kids so I didn't have to hear or smell them. (I know that sounds awful for a mother to say. I am just being honest. Because you know if you have ever had a migraine that the sensitivity to light, smell and sound are for real!) Migraines that brought my lunch back up. Migraines that put me on pain medications that made my brain feel warm. And finally migraines that caused my doctor to recommend I be put on a daily maintenance medication that messed with my head. I couldn't form complex thoughts. I had to think really hard if I wanted to make anything other than meaningless small talk. I was slow. I was frustrated because I could tell I was struggling to speak...and I couldn't make my brain work any faster than it was. I felt useless.

When I knew Jeremy was coming to our church I asked God to make it clear to me if I was to seek healing on that day. The night before he and his wife were coming to our church, I got a very late text then phone call from my brother. He needed prayer...and I was happy to be able to pray with him. The problem...I was on medication. I was trying to form my thoughts quickly...but I could sense the long pauses inbetween thoughts...and I was getting frustrated during my prayer. Then...as I was praying I felt as if the room were spinning. So I opened my eyes...and sure enough...the room was racing around me. It was spinning out of control...and I was having even more trouble concentrating. That was my sign. Time to get healed...and stop taking this medicine. I am a prayer warrior...I can't be in a spinning fog and be effective.
 There is nothing special to Jeremy...except the Almighty God that He serves. No offense intended to Jeremy! ;) That is something that he himself would tell you. I knew in my heart that God was going to heal me in some way. I just wasn't sure how or when. So when I felt Him say August 14th was my day...I was hesitant. Finally the time came for people to go to the altar area if they desired God's healing. I went. I waited my turn. And it was simple. "In Jesus name, migraines GO!" Nothing else was needed. Now it was up to me to have faith.

The medication that I was on to prevent the migraines from coming, was the type that you have to slowly work up to the full dosage amount. I am assuming you must do the same when getting off of it. I had such faith (not bragging...really, just wait...I will prove myself a fool in a bit)...anyways...such faith...that I stopped taking the medication that day. No nightly dose. The next morning, no pills with breakfast. And I prayed that God would protect me from any adverse effects that going cold turkey on this medication would likely produce. Now I had to wait. Wait to see if the migraines would come. Wait to see if the effects would come. Each day I was hopeful...but not as confident as I should've been.

It was easy to write that I was healed. But much different to speak it. Doubt began to creep in. Slowly. I didn't tell people that I knew I should have. God reminded me of what He had done...and I still kept silent. Ugh! Why did I do that? How annoying! How insulting that must have been to Him. My faith that I was healed began to fade. Maybe it was just me thinking it was my time. But the effects never came. Then last week...the test.

I woke up with a massive headache. Was it a migraine? Or just a headache? I waited to see if the sensitivities came. Sure enough, they did. Had my doubt, my disbelief brought on a migraine? I felt defeated. I felt guilty. I felt ashamed. I layed on my couch...covering my eyes...sad. Later I was talking to my dear friend Rachel...and she encouraged me to continue to believe I WAS HEALED. It was what I needed to give me a little boost. It prepared me for what was to come.

My son Aiden comes home from school that day. He is excited to show me this huge piece of paper. His class had written a prayer that day...and he wanted me to read it. I was busy so I told him that was great...and I pushed it off until later. The next day I saw the paper folded up...and decided I should read it so I could tell him how great it was. God's strategy goes into place here....

Here was this huge piece of paper...written all over with yellow marker, with prayers and praises from first graders. And the simple words that God needed me to know..."We thank you for healing Aiden's mom." I cried. (Shocker!) Doubt vanished. Faith stood strong. Proud. Ready to fight!

Psalm 103 is my chapter for today. It is a bit long...but I have to share it with you. If you needed healed...let verse 3 begin your prayer. What could be better than to pray God-inspired words?

Psalm 103-1 Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.2 Praise the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-- 3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.6 The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.7 He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel: 8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. 9 He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. 13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; 14 for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.15 As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; 16 the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. 17 But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children-- 18 with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.19 The LORD has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all. 20 Praise the LORD, you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word. 21 Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts, you his servants who do his will. 22 Praise the LORD, all his works everywhere in his dominion. Praise the LORD, O my soul.

I praise God because I am fearfully and wonderfully made...and He knows every inch of me. He knows how to heal me. He knows how to make me whole. He changes my life everytime I allow Him. I stand amazed at how great my God is! My God is Healer!! =) Now, I must speak it with my mouth. Pray for me won't you?

Is God doing this to me?

If it is not good...it is not from God. God does allow things to happen to us...but He is not the cause of them. satan is out to seek, kill and destroy us...remember? God will use the enemy's firery darts to make us stronger. He will be with us through every step of it. He is always rooting for us to succeed. He is always waiting for us to call on His Name. He is always waiting for us to utilize the power that He has given us.

When you are in the midst of your 'storm'...do you sometimes not recognize Jesus? Do you feel as though you are in this fight alone? I can assure you...that is never the case. That is lie from the enemy. he wants you to feel alone. he wants you to feel powerless. he wants you to feel ashamed.

Maybe you are focusing on the pain and not the Power. Maybe you are focusing on yourself and not the Father. Maybe you feel as though no one else seems to care about what you are going through. Maybe you aren't even taking the time to look for a solution. Maybe you are so engulfed in how much you are hurting...that is seems as if it would take to much energy to fight. If so....you are right where the enemy wants you. Relying on your power. Relying on your cimcumstantial evidence. Relying on your wisdom. Relying on your solution. Relying on your self. And when you continue to feel as though you are failing...it is easy to play the blame game.

It is natural to blame God when something happens that seems to shake you to your core. But we are called to going against our natural instincts. To be a new creation in Christ. This means trusting Him when you feel as though you are being suffocated by your 'storm'. Taking slow deep breaths until you don't have to think to breathe any longer. Trusting His heart when you can't see His hand.

Soon I will be writing about my storm. I will be writing about God's plan. His strategy that was unlike mine. His provision. His protection. His faithfulness. His love...never ending...and perfect. I pray that you are ready to receive!

Have a good weekend all. Spend time with the ones you love...and that includes your Maker! =)

And then we have emotions...

Emotions. They can be a helpful tool for ministering...and they can be my worst enemy. People respond, people open up when they can see how much your heart aches for them. I know that God designed me. I know that my emotions can be used for His glory and His purpose. I also know that the enemy can use what God meant for good...and put his own ugly spin on it. Ugh...what a brat huh? ;)

Here is a visual for some of the emotions I am about to list. =)

Below are some of the emotions that I associate with some of my times of great pain.
Sadness.
Anger.
Sorrow.
Joylessness.
Resentment.
Lack of zeal.
Darkness.
Frustration.
Weeping.
Envy.
Depression.
Despair.
Lost.
Lifeless.
Alone.
Awkward.
Unwanted.
Left-out.
Without hope.
Thoughts of death.
Fear.

But how great is my God...that he conquered each and every one of those emotions. He brought me through them victoriously. He had me look satan in the face and say..."I always win! You will not defeat me! Get behind me. Stop tormenting me though _____________ (fill in the blank with whatever emotion you are feeling that is not of God)!"

Pure joy! Innocence. Happiness. Love. Trust. Faith like a child...untainted and complete!

One of my favorite new songs is Our God by Chris Tomlin. Make it personal. Read these words about your God...outloud. Feel the power that they hold!

My God is Greater!
My God is Stronger!
My God You are Higher than any other!
My God is Healer!
Awesome in Power! My God!

Don't let your emotions run your life. Speak to your mountain. Command it to move in the Power of Jesus name. Don't settle for emotions that are not from Christ.

You should not feel shame. You should feel forgiven In Jesus' name.
You should not feel broken. You should feel whole in Jesus' name.
You should not feel depressed. You should feel joyful in Jesus' name.
You should not feel resentment. You should feel compassion in Jesus' name.
You should not feel lifeless. You should feel blessed to live another day with Jesus in your heart.

Have a blessed day all! I am so blessed and so excited to be using my gifts for the glory of my powerful God! He alone is worthy to be praised!!

Change YOUR view

Whoo hoo...here I am again. Two days in a row. Praise God!! I am so excited to write to you all today. I know a lot of people in my small group of friends and family that have gone through some painful life experiences lately. So I am honored that God may use me to help aid some of you overcome your distored view of Him. He hasn't changed. The same God that formed you, is the same God that protects you. We all have heard the passage that says God will not give you more than you can handle. I am not sure about you...but sometimes I wonder if God thinks I am stronger than I think I am. Haha! I would normally have given up way before I got through some of my toughest times. And I would not be the powerful woman of Christ if He had let me. I trust His strategy. Do you?

Right now...think about God. Do you feel as though your view of His goodness and provision changed at some point? Do you feel as if He doesn't always hear your cries? Do you feel like he blesses others around you...and yet leaves you to fight for yourself? If you answered yes to any of these...I have great news for you! Your view is distorted right now...but God absolutely will restore it. He will bring you back to your first love of Him. To the days where you trusted Him whole-heartedly! He will destroy the enemies lies. Expose them to you, so that you will recognize them for what they are. Lies.

So, how do you change a distorted view? Here is what God gave me when asked this question...

1. Admit that it is your view that is distorted. Know, trust, take comfort in the fact that God is the same yesterday, today and forever!

2. Acknowledge that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him. Trust Him!

3. Seek healing. Don't waste another day with a heart full of pain that you can leave at the foot of the cross.

4. Find someone that you trust to keep you accountable and to hold you up in prayer. All of these steps are important...but this one is key. The enemy longs to seek you out, to destroy you, and ultimately to kill you. So prayer warriors are absolutely vital in your life. (Also, don't take the opportunity lightly, to hold someone else up in prayer. If someone has entrusted their circumstances to you...pray as if they were your own. Seek God on their behalf. Spiritual warfare really happens. Do your part in it.)

5. Wake up and meet with God. If you look in the scriptures of when Jesus lived as a man, you will see that often He went out early in the morning while it was still dark, to pray. What better example do you need? Jesus...it doesn't get better than that! =)

6. Sing His praise. I am sure that you  have days like me. Days that you wake up and just don't feel like
praising. Praise Him anyway. Turn the worship music up loud. Dance if you have to. Do what it takes to change the desires of your heart. Unwanted allowance to be sad and sorrowful...to the desire to be joyful and compassionate.

7. Be God's cheerleader. Talk about Him often. Tell everyone about His faithfulness. Speak of Him as if you are in love.

8. Encourage others. There is something amazing about being used by God to change someone else's outlook. Whether it be their outlook on just that day...or on their eternity. When you can speak life into your friends and family...you will be amazed at how it fills your heart with the joy of the Lord.

9. Be a servant. Again, take your cues from Christ. He didn't need to serve others, He chose to. He did the will of His Father without question. He didn't ask why serving was so important. He trusted that God knew exactly what He was doing.

10. Be passionate about what God has placed in you. Whatever that is. For me it is writing, singing, encouraging and being a prayer warrior. I want to use those whenever God asks me. I want to write with a purpose. I want to sing with passion for my first love. I want to encourage when someone is struggling. And I want to pray whatever God lays on my heart!

You all have spiritual gifts. It is a promise from God. He has placed certain things in your heart that He desires you to use for Him. They are uniquely yours. Unlike any other! Have you been listening? Can you name them if asked? If you feel you have nothing to give back to God...let me pray for you. Comment or message me...and I would love to be your prayer warrior. You may be being deceived right now...because God does have plans for you. Specific plans. Plans that no one else can complete. You are not made to just coast through. He wants to use you...to bless you. To make you stronger. To increase your faith.

Commit to change your view...and change your life. Change the generations to come. Teach your children that we serve a God that is always faithful. Always!

Have I lost you all?

Hey there blogger world. I really and sincerely hope that I haven't lost you all because of my lack of posting. I have been unable to get on the internet at my house in weeks! I can access facebook and email from my phone...but I am not about to type out a whole blog post from there. Too annoying. =) It is a miracle that I am on now..so I want to type this as quickly as possible so I don't loose it. And my computer is going to die soon...because of course I left it on and unplugged. Ugh!

God has been teaching my sooo much through my quiet times lately. It has been so awesome. This is why journaling is so vital to me...now I can share it with you! =) The first thing I want to share is about a shattered view of Christ. I was doing a devotional by Max Lucado a few weeks ago. It was so awesome...because
#1. He is my favorite author
#2. I was really excited to be writing and hearing from God
#3. I had done this devotional in the past...and my view is sooo different now!

Let me explain. In this devotional Max talks about seeing God through a window. When you first become saved, your view is clear. Untainted by life and all that comes with it. Then, something happens that shatters your glass. Now you can still see God, but he is distorted by your pain. It is as if you blame Him for it. (This summary is in my words...but if you want the completed version I can surely get it to you. Just ask!)

Next the devotional asked me..."What kinds of circumstances cause such pain in our lives that our perception of God is altered?" Here is where it gets good. This was my response...
"I have answered this question before. I am sure then that I said going through each miscarriage my anger and resentment towards God grew stronger. When I began to have complications with my 5th pregnancy and my son Aiden prayed for me...I was filled with doubt.
Circumstances that seem to bring no good and have no explanation...those are the ones that try to shove me into that pit of despair. To make me feel as if I have no hope. But I know better! I thank my God He always reminds me...I know better."

You see...I had had a distorted view of God in the past. I saw him through my shattered glass. Through pain-filled eyes. I knew that I blamed Him at one time. I knew that He had miraculously healed me of all that. What I had never thought of was that I didn't see Him the same as I once did. He was my Healer again. He was my Father again. He was my Restorer again. He was my Comfort again. He was my Savior again. He was my Compassion again. He was my Mercy again. My view was restored...my view was strengthened. I now see Him through a much more powerful set of eyes. Christ's! I am a daughter of the Most High.

Want to know how to fix a pain-distorted view of God? Tune in tomorrow. ;)

Love ya all!

Clean up this mess

If you have children....I am sure you have yelled/screamed those words before. I couldn't even get them out of my mouth the other day without laughing. I turned to see my son Levi...who turned one on the 9th of August....dumping an almost full bag of chips on the floor of my kitchen. My solution..."MOOSE!"

You've met Moose. He is our great dane puppy. I say the word 'puppy' loosely. He is....as I type this...eating leftover cheerios off the kitchen table while sitting on the floor. He is a puppy in awkwardness. He is a puppy in energy. He is a puppy in bladder size. He is a puppy in excitement for new people to arrive. He is a puppy to see the opportunity to run out the door when left open just one second longer than needed. But in size...he is...well...he fits his name well. He is a Moose. =) He cleaned up the mess pretty well. Just a light sweep will do. As soon as I am done here I will get right on that. ;)

So, how about life. How messy does your life get? How do you handle it? Do you freak out? Do you start screaming at every living thing that gets in your path? Do you calmly assess the situation and plan step by step how you are going to fix it? (Show off! Haha!) Do you ignore it until it become so large you put yourself into a pit you can't crawl out of? Or do you sometimes just laugh and let the dog clean it?

Sometimes I take my life...and my problems way too seriously. I have mini pity-parties for myself...thankfully they are parties in my head that no one else knows about. (I realize that I just made myself sound a bit crazy. Deal with it, I have. Lol!) I allow myself to focus on my circumstance...instead of praising God through my storm. I freak out way before it is neccessary. I have no plan. I ignore the whispers of God telling me what I should be doing. I fall into the pit the have dug for myself. And that stinkin' dog is eating my chips again. Sounds like a lot of grumbling to me. Sound familiar?

While there are times when laughing off something that would normally be frustrating is appropriate...we do need to deal with life as it comes our way. We do need to somewhat plan how we are going to react to some of those crazy scenerios...because sometimes when you look back at the fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants approach...it isn't really going so well, is it? Yeah...it isn't for me either. I don't want to live in regret. I don't want to live wishing I didn't yell so much. I don't want to live wondering what life would be like IF...

Start picturing how you want to be. Start praying Godly characteristics over yourself. Your husband. Your children. Start thinking BEFORE you speak. Hold your tongue. Don't say every cotton pickin' think that comes into that pretty little head of yours. If the author of your words doesn't appear to be God...who do you think it might be? Ouch! I know. I am not saying anything I don't need to hear myself. I am ticking myself right off too. Haha! But I love you too much to let you settle for how you treat people. Watch their reaction. Do you see the sparkle in their eye fade? Do you see the smile start to fall?

Let's be people that affect those around us. I don't want to infect anymore. I am tired of that game. I have been a part of that one already. I want to spread light where there is none. I want joy to radiate from me! Join me won't you?