That is what I long to write. Pages and pages of prayers for anyone that God leads me to! He works with purpose...not coincidence.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Wanna feel the power of God? Listen!
I just couldn't help it. I put the song on real quick and the kids and I belted it out and made up some moves to it. Pretty sweet ones at that. ;) Haha! Before we could even finish...Eric was home and I had to scurry the kids to bed.
Remember that oldest son I referred to. He tattled. The nerve!! He told Eric that we had a little concert while he was gone. BUSTED! Lol! But it was worth it!
SO here it is.The song is called Great I Am by New Life Worship.Worth the time in listening...PROMISE!! Click on the song title above...and please listen. God bless!!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Choose to remember
I was just on the phone with a dear friend of mine the other night…I spoke for almost 40 minutes of our 45 minute conversation. Lots of exciting God stories to tell. What I realized through that conversation, is that remembering God’s blessings. God’s miracles. God’s provision. God’s goodness. God’s love. God’s grace and mercy…remembering those has to be intentional. But remembering hurt. Pain. Discomfort. Betrayal. Shame. Lies. Those things come naturally. Those haunt us at times when we thought we had conquered them.
Want to hear some good news? You can ‘train’ your brain otherwise. You can be stubborn…and choose to remember the supernatural. That is my mission lately. Because when I focus on the wrong thing…my days are awful. They are frustrating. They are long. They are filled with regret. And that is not how God intended for me to live life. He wants me to love life. To give thanks for what He has blessed me with. To share these miracles with those who I come in contact with.
What do you find yourself talking about most days? Blessings? Miracles? Reliving conversations you’ve had? Annoyances? Frustrations? If someone listened in on all of your conversations…would they see Jesus? Would they know you are a Christ follower without you proclaiming it? Would they see your true character? Would they experience love? Would they hear how hurt you are? Would they hear you lash out towards those you claim to love…even Christ?
Don’t worry. I have been there. I am there. I would be embarrassed to have someone listening in on some of my conversations. I did not represent Christ with each opportunity. Here lies the problem…we all know that there is a third party involved in all of our conversations. (Even the ones we have in our heads…in which we say what we are really thinking.) Christ lives in us. His Spirit is with us always. Each conversation. Each thought. Each look. Each action. Christ knows us more intimately than any other.
Again…I do not say these things to make you feel condemned. As I stated above…I am right here with you. I too, long to represent Christ with my days. With my words. With my gestures. With my gifts. With my finances. With my actions. I too, need to be reminded of my sinful, natural self. When I can recognize how the enemy is trying to use me….against me…I will learn how to fight him at his own game. And that…that makes me smile. I love to get a glimpse of his weakness. The power of Christ that works through me, must make the devil cringe. =)
You can do this as well. Choose to remember what God has done for you. And through you. Choose to see people through the eyes of Christ. Choose to talk about the miracles that God has done. Choose to forgive, and forget the pain that came with betrayal. After all…isn’t that what Jesus did as He was dying on the cross. He forgave those who were closest to Him…that had betrayed Him. He forgave the men responsible for His death. And since sin is what put Him on that cross…you and I are on the list of those He forgave before we ever asked.
So, if forgiving and forgetting are things you are struggling with…remember Jesus. Follow the best example who ever walked this earth! And encourage those around you to do the same. That’s why I am here. =) I will pray for you. I will intercede for you. I will stand boldly before the throne of grace. I will unleash the power of Christ over your circumstance. Just let me know how I can help! Because loved one…you are stronger than you think! Don’t let satan tell you otherwise!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
This is what fall looks like....in PA! Bahaha
Aiden built this snowman all by himself. (With my homemade snowman kit of course.) |
This is the wamest day of snow we will have all year probably. Ariel gets her endurance for the cold from me. None. Haha! This day though..she stayed out for hours. This too shall pass. |
He was not at all good at making snow angels. Once he would get up...Ariel would take his spot and 'fix' it. Lol! |
Another family dog...Butch. He LOVES the snow! As you can see...he is made for it. Snow can not penetrate through that mass of fur! |
My Journey Through 7 Pregnancies-Part five
Two tragic losses. Then two healthy babies. When my husband and I found out we were pregnant again, we were so excited. As a little added bonus...my best friend was also pregnant. She was expecting her second baby boy. She was one of the only people that knew we were expecting. Again we weren't telling too many people...just in case. But we figured we were in the clear. We had dealt with out losses. We were through that portion of our lives. Now, we could enjoy having children. Right?
Uh, not so much. We were progressing in the pregnancy and we began to have some complications. Then one night while we were at a friends' house, just as with my first two pregnancies the complications got much worse. I immediately burst into tears in their bathroom. Trying to figure out how I could compose myself enough to go tell Eric what was going on. I did not even give our God...Healer...a chance. I was already assuming it was over. I came out of the bathroom after what seemed like an hour...to find that my husband had left. He and our friend, Al had gone somewhere for a little bit. It was evident by my tear stained face that I was on the verge of losing it.
My friend Chris took me into another room as I explained what was going on. She prayed for me...and I doubted. When Eric got back...they all prayed for me...and I doubted. We started on our way to the ER. Silence. I could do nothing but weep silently. There were no words for the disappointment I was feeling. I was already preparing for how I was going to overcome another death of another baby I had already learned to love.
You see it isn't at first sight that a mother and father learn to love. It is the positive test. It is the first appointment. It is the first sight of a tiny beating heart. It is the blurry blob of a black and white sonogram picture. I had all of those. I had proof that my baby had been living. And now I was about to have another sonogram to find out what I already knew. No heartbeat.
The doctor who had been very hurried and uncompassionate up until this point...now came in with a face drenched in solemness and sorrow. He gave us the bad news...and sent us on our way. He said he had spoken with my doctor and she said that there was no need to come in again unless my condition worsened. Even those words stung my already hurting heart. We drove home, again in silence.
Later, once we were home with our children my phone rang. It was a friend of a friend telling me to call the hospital because my prego best friend was there. She was not due to have her baby for weeks...so I called not knowing what to expect. She answered and told me that her son had indeed been born that night. He was tiny, but doing fairly well. He was in the NICU and would need to spend some time in the hospital. We talked about what all had happened to her that night...and then she asked what I found out at the ER. My heart just sank. Here she is on cloud nine because her son has just been born...and now I have to tell her that mine is gone. It was really hard on both of us. What could we say?!
Over the next few days my condition worsened. One day as I was in tears on my couch...my sweet little son came over to console me. He did all he knew how to do to help. He prayed that God would make our baby all better. As soon as he was finished...he instantly believed it would happen. I doubted.
Even after all of the prayers that were lifted up on behalf of that baby...I never believed. Remember that innocent happiness that had been stolen after my second miscarriage? I was being held in a place where I couldn't even trust the God that I so dearly loved. The God that I praised because he had given me two living children when I had only been promised one. The God that I was claiming to serve on a daily basis. The God who was faithful to me, ALWAYS!
I thought I had been healed of the emotions and anger from my first two miscarriages. Now that I was faced with yet a third disappointment...they all came back. I was very angry. I was embarrassed at my lack of belief. I was upset that I had to face people who had prayed for me and tell them the news. I was mad that I had to deal with another heartache of a child lost. I was in shock that God had chosen the day of my son's death to be the day of my best friend's son's birth. I was right where the enemy wanted me. Struck down.
But I thank God He promises that I will not be destroyed. He promises that He will use everything for the good of those who love Him. And I love Him. I know I didn't show it...but He knows it. He has seen every day of my life, and He has seen my heart. He knew that that pregnancy would cause me to be struck down. And He knew that my husband and I would not let it destroy us. And He knew that that pregnancy would be the healing, once and for all, of all the hurt. All the pain. All the disbelief. All the distrust. All the unforgiveness from each of my miscarriages. Finally, I could experience grief...and really get through it.
I had been feeling guilty for a while about the fact that I was still hurting. It seemed as if my grief became a part of almost every conversation I had. I could relate so many conversations to what I was going through. I felt as though people were annoyed with hearing about it. (Which is a lie from the deceiver...but I bought it for long enough!) One day I was a women's bible study and God finally showed me. The thing that was still bothering me was the timing. I was still frustrated about the timing. He said to me..."The day that Angie's son entered the world, that was the day that yours entered Heaven!" Finally...it was as if the weight had been lifted. I didn't want to think of death when she was celebrating life.
So you see. God had a plan. He knew. Even though I felt as though I failed Him, He was still faithful to me. I trust Him. I have a greater knowledge of Him as Healer. I have a better appreciation of His blessings to me. I have a bigger voice for His provision. And I have a increased passion for reaching out to women who have gone through this kind of painful loss...and need a little encouragement from someone who has been there.
I am here for you. Disappointed one. Barron one. Angered one. Doubtful one. I have felt. And I am victorious through Jesus Christ! You can be too. Start by being real before God. Tell him how hurt and broken you feel. Let Him heal you and make you stronger. You may be the link to someone else's healing and restoration...but that means first you must be strengthened. Don't believe the lies of the enemy. Focus on the truths of the Father!
He.
Will.
Not.
Disappoint.
You!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Teachable moments
But then I see the face of this little girl below. My Ariel. We were making cookies because her brother got to go with Dad…and she was sad. I got us matching aprons…and look at her smile. And pose! I call that ‘The Sydney’ because it is a trademark pose of her cousin…you guessed it…Sydney. =)
Teachable moments. Isn’t that what our time with our children is all about? Moments that make a difference in their lives. I love to hear the prayers of my children…so why do I sometimes get too rushed to listen? I love to see God heal them…so why do I sometimes get frustrated when they interrupt my prayer to ask for prayer. I love to hear them explain how life is through their eyes…so why do I sometimes not really listen.
Prayer. That is what changes lives. The more I pray for my kids. With my kids. In front of my kids. The more they understand how powerful it is. The more natural it will become to them. The more they will see the hand of God in their own lives. The more they will share God’s goodness, provision, healing, and love to the people that surround them.
What example do you set? If you can relate to how I can be at times with my small children…know you aren’t alone. I don’t pretend to be perfect. I would fall short if I did. I don’t pretend to have it all together…because that isn’t the truth. I fail. I struggle. I get angry. I apologize. I regret. I have grace. And I must extend grace to others.
These little sponges that God has given us…they are always watching. (My oldest son…is literally watching me type this right now. =) He just asked why I typed my favorite three dots. Haha! I told him that is where I would pause if I was reading this out loud. I have been told I was a comma queen…so I switched it to …) Can you admit when you reacted wrongly towards your children? Can you ask for their forgiveness?
Let’s lead by example. Let’s pray with them every time they ask…no matter how busy we are. Let’s listen to them as intently as we expect them to listen to us. Let’s use these days of their impressionable youth to better them. Let’s be involved. Let’s teach them how to accept love. Let’s teach them how to give love. Let’s be real with them. Let’s show them what a relationship with our Father looks like.
Raising Godly children takes a lot of work. Raising Godly children takes a lot of patience. Raising Godly children requires a lot of prayer. And raising Godly children yields the ultimate reward. Eternity. Find people in your world that will bathe you and your children in prayer. Commit to do the same for them. Love and be loved.
Monday, November 14, 2011
I wish I may, I wish I might
I just wish I had a huge, beautiful home to bless others.
I just wish I was married.
I just wish my baby was born so I could hold him/her.
I just wish my baby was sleeping through the night.
I just wish my baby could walk.
I just wish my baby could talk to me and tell me what he/she wants.
I just wish my toddler were potty-trained.
I just wish my children were all in school so I could have a minute to breathe.
I just wish my children knew how to read so they could do their school work on their own.
I just wish my kids could drive so that I could just sit down for a minute.
I just wish my home was perfect so that I could reach out to people.
I just wish I could make more of a difference.
I just wish I had more time to use my passion for ministry.
I just wish…
I just wish…
When I say ‘we have all done it’…that includes me. I have thought some of the above statements. And writing some of my own thoughts along with some other examples…was an eye-opener for me.
While we are wishing…what are we wishing away? Our precious newborn babies? Our amazing, always learning toddlers? Our short, blessed time at home with preschoolers? Our chance to spend real time reading to our children? Our huge responsibility of the family God has entrusted to our care? Our ability to feel content with exactly what God has given to us? Awww man! That puts a spin on those wishes doesn’t it?
I don’t want to live my life in the wishes of my next destination. I want to LIVE in my journey. I want to get the most out of it. I want to always be teachable.
Learn.
Grow.
Discern.
Stumble.
Get up.
Become weakened to gain strength.
Gain knowledge.
Gain experience.
Be mindful of your future…just don’t live wishing you were already there. And the only thing you should never be content with…Is how much you know about Christ. Keep searching Him out. He will never disappoint you my dear friend!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
This Trip We Call Life
The answer I was reading over was to the following question. “Of all the kinds of journeys you can think of (road trips, camping, hiking, railroad, stagecoach, etc…), how would you best describe your life’s journey?”
My response…”Probably hiking for me. (Not that I ever really do much of it. Haha!) Some of the paths seem too difficult to conquer…but if you focus on one step at a time…you are there before you know it. Some of the paths look enticing, like an easy way out, but end up causing you much pain and discomfort. Things are not always as they seem. Some paths lead you ‘up’ to your goal destination. Some detour you from it. And you would never appreciate the relaxing down-hill stroll…if you didn’t have some mountains to climb over. In the end, the struggle of the hike is worth the view from the top. Breathtaking!
So today, when my pastor was giving a message on ‘The Journey’, this page I wrote kept coming to my mind. I may have even typed that to you all before. I honestly can’t remember for sure, but there is more to it this time…so please read on. =)
We read a passage from Luke chapter 24. Click here and start in verse 13 and read the story of “The Road to Emmaus”. Go ahead…I will wait. =)
If you are like me…and sometimes you feel a bit lazy, I guess I will go ahead and summarize for you.
These men were walking several miles on the road to Emmaus…but they were supposed to be in Jerusalem. On their ‘journey’ they met Jesus…only they could not tell it was Him. They told Him of Himself. Haha! They told him about what had just happened. (This was just after the crucifixion and death of Jesus.) He told them story after story of truths from the Bible. Finally as the trip ended, they could recognize Jesus. So, what did they do…they went back to Jerusalem. (Where they should’ve been in the first place. Haha!)
What does that speak to us? Well first, they didn’t stay where they were told. I am sure we all never do that! ;) Even though they were traveling in the wrong direction, Jesus still met them where they were. He walked along side them. He spoke with them. As soon as they realized it was Jesus they were with, they wanted to go back to where they were supposed to have been in the first place.
Do you ever feel as though you are doing the wrong thing? Not necessarily sinful, just incorrect for where you are headed. Like you aren’t even traveling in the right direction? Spend time with Jesus. Talk to Him. Be with Him. Listen to Him. Before you know it, you will want to turn back to the correct path. The Path of Righteousness. And that is a lovely place to be!